The ecoterrorist group PETA has taken offense at Wimbledon's practice of shooting pigeons to remove the flying rats from the grounds. Apparantly the birds are all over, and they took to having sharpshooters pluck them one by one from the storied event.
Instead, they have released two trained hawks, who go around and chase away and bully the pigeons into submission. Living in the country, I understand that it is way more humane to get ripped apart by a bird of prey then a pellet thru the skull.
Apparantly bird on bird violence is approved by PETA.
Which brings me to my point. I don't think that I could smuggle the hawks into the country, so I'm putting this fine idea out to an English Fubarian.
I want you to get a pair of identical hawks. I don't care how you do it, legal or otherwise, just do it. I then want you to take the time to train it to retrieve tennis balls. Snatch them out of the air. If they can snag a pigeon in the air, they should be able to grab a tennis ball that is lobbed into the air.
Have fun with it then. Call in, call yourself a group protesting the misuse of whatever you like. Just don't say you're from PETA, its all I ask. Besides, they'll be protesting the removal of your hawks, and eagles may be shipped in.
