LikeNRateMsCharlotte2U's blog: "Random Thoughts"

Here I go again getting all philosophical or just babbling, take your pick. I am sitting here just drinking my coffee and as I often do, I sometimes reflect on past and recent events that occur.

Today is Sunday and am ending a 4 day weekend, much deserved after working a long stretch. Have I done much. Not really. I cleaned, which was much much needed, thank god. I ran errands, still have some to do, but that will have to be squeezed in somehow another time. But for the most part I chilled. Today I do have plans to go and visit with Dad and watch a movie. Mom is in the Philippines, she has been gone almost a month now and haven't made it over to see him since I work so much. Sad I know, really that I haven't been able to make time for family when I work so much.

One thing that was slightly different this weekend is I finally got to meet a friend after 2 other failed attempts. He is a really nice, sweet guy and full of energy. Did I mention goofy! Perhaps we'll get to meet up again and get out and do something different. Thanks for cracking my back..lol

Anyway, my main purpose for this rambling was work. I work a lot, I do. Sometimes I have said I work too much. But I think I am seeing it as my safe haven. I find that my work is my safety net. It is where I get to hide from the rest of the world and not have to deal with life in a sense. It is where I don't have to deal with what is and isn't missing in my personal life. At work I am around people, I am around life. Though most are acquaintances and superficial, no one tends to get close enough to potentially get close enough to chip away at the walls that are fragile and long to be broken. At work I am 100% in control. Well you know what I mean, at work there is a purpose. I guess that's why I throw myself in to my work so much, when I give myself to something or someone, I give 100% and so far, work has been the only thing worthy enough of that focus.

I see not just Women but Men as well day in and day out, not just plus sized, but averaged and small as well who for some reason or another have chosen to not take pride in how they look or who they are.
I do not mean that one must primp themselves and make themselves up every day. But at least take some pride in how you look. Even if it is as little as doing something with your hair. Wearing nice clean clothes. Hold your head high when you walk. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Take pride in who you are no matter what your circumstances are.
I think most people forget that most of our self esteem also come from us taking pride in ourselves. If we are not proud of who we are, how can we have any confidence in ourselves let alone expect anyone else to have confidence in us. We all make choices in our lives that may not always be the best, but as long as we have learned from it and accepted those mistakes why can we not move on and try to do better.
I've always been a large Woman, but for the most part I guess I have always had a positive attitude towards life. I let things roll off my back and take life on full force. I speak what is on my mind and do my best not to let people knock me down. I am an out going person. I enjoy what I can and let try to let go of the things I can not control.

So, am going to have the next 4 days off Thur-Sun! OMG!! My last days off were the 8th and the 13th of this month. No wonder I am so damn tired!! I hadn't realised I worked so much. I guess you just get used to it and not think about it. Well now what? I am so not sure what the hell to do..lol Last time I did try to make plans they fell through. So should I just wing it and and not plan to do anything and just be a bumm for at least a day or two? I know I need to at least do some cleaning haha!

Any ideas?

Who would have ever thought that a minor jab from a pen would turn out to be something so serious.  A jab to which all you see is a little dot where the pen ink would have been.

Without any more details, that's pretty much what happened.

It has been a hell of a week for me.

I went in 2 Sundays ago because it got infected and waited, like an idiot and got yelled at for it, 3 days after I noticed it, to have it looked at. A Tetanus shot, 2 vials of blood for testing and 3200mg of antibiotics later am out the door..ugh.

Well, yesterday while at work, I noticed red bumps everywhere.. ugh.. another trip to the Doc. End result?

Another SHOT! This time Prednisone and a change in the antibiotics. It seems I had an allergic reaction to the initial antibiotics I was given and since I had no known allergies, no one would have known. Well now I know. Now am on new Antibiotics for damn 10 days when I had 7 left of the other one lol and damn steroids to take. I hate taking pills.  Now I have pills up the wazoo take.. sheesh! I am red and splatchy all over!!

So, my word of advice, don't be so stubborn like me and take care of your health as things occur and don't wait till the last minute. I've been poked three times the past week and didn't even enjoy it..pffft..

So I got a card from my Kid the other day, got me teary eyed. The front of the card has a Soldier on it with papers in his hand like he is writting a letter and it says.

 "Mom.. you are so very dear to me. I miss you! I love you more than I ever told you.. Though far away, you are always close in my thoughts.."

Inside the card it says..

"Just wanted to let you know"

Then he wrote in it...

 "I'm glad you support me no matter what I do if it's a good choice or even if it's not that great of a decision I made. You were the main reason I decided to get my diploma so I could see a smile on your face knowing it's there because I put it there. Can't wait till graduation for basic so I can see you. I love you a lot and miss you. Hope and pray everything will go well with the surgery."

He appreciates his Momma afterall.. Just had to share.