Siryn's blog: "Random Poetry"

what am i suppose to do now you've left me with nothing i'm so empty and cold how could you do this to me yet again why must i always be the one to feel this pain i wanted more from life i wanted to be with you and you saw that and used me i'd like to say i've changed but that's a lie i cant speak this feeling i still have keeps harboring i wish i could cut it out to watch it finish dying i wish this never would have happened how could i let you do this to me i really must have been stupid all i wanted was to be happy you couldnt let me so this is goodbye what am i suppose to do now what have you left for me this feeling inside must die just like i have heaven nor hell can contain me a ghost i will be lost in the background i hope what you did to me happens to you and when it does,i hope it rips you apart limb from limb the blood splashing the walls your heart no longer will beat and your eyes will roll into the back of your skull and when that happens,i'll be there to taunt you like a thousand devils from hell do onto others as you would have them do unto you guess what baby,your time draws closer welcome to my world

I once said I Love You And once you said the same We shared a feeling I thought was there Yet you let me fall I fell back through time Reliving the pain, every second a stab in my heart The tears pour forth from my red eyes And I couldn't see it coming This push into nothingness This torch to my love The world ripped apart beneath me As you made me fall backwards I once thought you loved me But you've made it clear you didn't I'm not sure why this happened This great decieval of my heart and mind It's all gone, nothing remains You've taken it all from me,yet gave nothing in replace Nothing waits for me There is no place for me to go It's all gone Because of you

Slit her wrists Blood red pours forth Eyes of cold contempt get smaller Lips once full of life Now fade to blue ice A body once full of energy Now goes limp Hands once warm, reach to your face Cold as ice as you back away A smile that once was there, Is now replaced with sadness Her blood stains your face Dropping to her knees She looks begging at you Yet you step away and give no aid No more breath escapes those lips that once said "I Love You" She is empty, no more pain She was once me,as I lay on the ground Stained and full of my blood Yet you didn't attempt to save me I dance a new dance,no longer here My blood stains all The blood of an innocent

I'm blammed for so much But without words. It's in their stares They way they look at me says so much Yet so little about anything at all The expression on my face Should tell the tale The pain in my eyes Should tell you what I feel Yet they don't see I get hit for so much Without physical touches With their eyes The words they use When they accuse me When they shout at me And when the shaking starts I loose my self In the absence of time And humanity For what is left Is a shell of who I was It all means so much Yet so little to anyone When the darkness comes I disappear It means so much To me But to you,nothing In the lack of love Can you find me? This is so much Why can't you see? This is too much.

This pain tears me up inside The fact I care so much for you But yet you don’t see it Or do you? Would you care for me if you knew Or would you turn away like the others did? I’d love to love you and have you love me Or is that too much to ask you to care Is it wanting too much for you to like me I wish I could talk to you about it Without feeling alone and embarrassed I like you so much but yet you can’t see My life is full of bad things You’re the one person I look forward to seeing Don’t take my brilliance away Tell me you care for me too Tell me you love me Just tell me anything Besides goodbye.... (um this is actually meant for someone..he should know who he is,i aint saying nothing else)

For whatever reasons you see me It mustn’t be for real You still look past me and refuse to see me I can’t control these tears The ones of blood The blood you shed from me Taken ungratefully, unknowingly Those words you spoke, lash at me My very existence Could you see the pain? Lying within me, begging to be unraveled Pain scorched so harshly and unnaturally These tears burn my cheeks Blood staining innocence Not yours but mine My heart is drenched with hate Seeing is believing No longer are you believing in me Still, no vision comes There is a haze over my eyes No longer can I see anything Especially not you I’ve changed and you refuse to recognize If only I could see through this mist, maybe you could too Open your eyes, look at my pain See my tears of blood…

everything flooded back to me all the memories of you and I happy together and in love I’d forgotten how much I cared I’d forgotten how sexy you were you've changed a lot love I wonder what you were thinking when you saw me on the chat board talking like I’d never been gone did all the love for me come back I know my love for you did i missed you so much i blocked it out my feelings for you kept growing though I don’t know if it means I’m suppose to be with you or that I’m playing with myself again setting unstable feelings and thoughts for us like I’ve done before, and it crumbled back on me I’d like to tell you how much I still love you but I don’t want to be rejected again I’m so afraid of you, and I don’t know why I know you, and the way you act... I just want to be loved again....... by you.....

I lay broken on the floor The remanents of a person long gone A shard of something long forgotten My heart a crystal so rare It's crushed by my demise You had to do it Forced me to see me You had to hit me didnt you? With your hurtful words I'm broken now My dreams gone My love lost My heart broken I lay broken on the floor Your shadow my darkness Your eyes my hell Your kiss my poison I lay broken on the floor I can't remember who I am I dont know myself I'm lost in the darkness Lost in myself In my sadness I lay broken on the floor The remanents of a person long gone A shard of something long forgotten I lay broken.

It's happened again I've been such a fool Why haven't I learned yet It's like a nightmare,it won't stop Why is this haunting me I should've done something long ago I should've locked it up Give up after the first blow But I didn't learn and never will I can't get enough I keep coming back for more This shadow lingers further over me I don't learn,will I ever? You are so addictive Like alcohol,I get drunk on you But it's not enough anymore When you say my name It feels like you're stabbing me God help me I need out of this nightmare I need release from you But it won't happen,I still love you Forever,even as friends,even after death I don't want it to happen again tonight God let the nightmare not come I seek release from these chains Disolve this pain Release me from this spell I choose Death over you now Free at last from this nightmare forever Sad isn't it?

i cant remember anything anymore the person i use to be the things i use to do the things that made me happy why have i forgotten why now of all times im already confused why more confusion these tears i hold back make me question myself why do i want to cry over something ive forgotten what do those things have on me to pull at my emotions if i threw everything out what would i have left an empty room but i wont do that some things hold strong but why did i forget the person i was what is this taking over me that makes me so numb inside that makes me want to destroy everything around me i want answers but i dont know where to find them my mind is blank... god...why did i forget the happy things the happy me why did i forgot myself altogether