Siryn's blog: "Random Poetry"

I want to cry And I don't know why These feelings inside cant be right I'm fighting myself to understand The way I feel when I talk to you I'm lost inside Cant find my way People pass by Familiar faces And no-one sees the pain behind my eyes Nothing bad or dangerous Just pain at being so confused Jealousy lashes against my skin Over things I don't understand I'm working on nothing With no map to find my way I'm missing someone I cant tell Afraid to lose again Sometimes I want to be left alone But in order to thrive I need them My friends,my family But no matter how much I talk about him I'm still lost inside And all I want is him To talk to him Just everything Yet I don't think it'd ever happen He may not feel the same I'm trying so hard to hold the feelings back To keep from being hurt again I'm worried about a lot of things Crawling in the dark Searching for the light To lead me the right way Maybe he can turn it on for me Or leave me in the darkness Searching for something that was never there For now I'll crawl And hope for something good Meanwhile fighting the tears Thou I'm smiling thinking of him I still feel a need to release So on this floor I'll lay Waiting for something Crying for no reason Aching to feel whole In the darkness with my thoughts I'll wait and think of him Until that day When the lights turn on Showing me the way

Day by day I pray things to get better To find someone to make me alive again And just when I get a taste of happiness Something goes wrong And the darkness comes again Crushing me Making it hard to be me To breath I'm so tired of feeling this way Of feeling chained down to the floor Where I cannot fly To be myself All I ever wanted was someone like me Who could unchain me Release the real me And I saw that in you Now I'm not sure what's going on I feel so crushed And I dont know what to do Some days the chains get tighter Digging into my skin Making me bleed inside And I try reaching out But no-one sees me This darkness surrounding me Hides me from everyone And no-one sees my pain No-one sees the tears spilling down my cheeks As I struggle to get free And all I want is you To release me Cradle me in your arms Help me find me Slowly I'm losing sight of everything Blurred vision Smeared mascara Tear filled eyes My heart aching So here I lay Chained to the floor Waiting for you Here crushed by everything Come help me Come love me Come release me

I want to feel your breathe on my skin To feel your hands in my hair Your lips against mine To see your eyes as you look into mine I want to see you smile at me When I say something dorky Hear you laugh When I tell a joke I want you to hold me When it's cold And even when it's not I wanna feel your skin against mine As you touch me softly Caressing me To hear your voice say my name I want you to be there When my world comes crumbling down To hold me tightly Whisper everythings okay I want to feel you next to me in bed When we sleep I want to be there when you tell your friends "Yay..this is her..my everything..'' I want you to constantly make me smile Even when I feel like crying I just want you to be everything to me The one I can lean on When things get rough And even when they dont To spend hours on the phone with Even if we dont say anything Just to know you're there ready to listen I want to know Will you be my everything? I'm ready to be yours babe So here I am Waiting for you Always (i wrote this not only for myself,but for my girl goth..we both have a problem expressing ourselves...so girl this is for u!)

Dont tell me you love me If you really dont mean it Dont tell me you want me If you really dont want me Dont tell me the things i wanna hear If you dont speak the truth Dont tell me you miss me If you really dont Dont tell me how you feel about me If youre only speaking lies Dont get to know me If you only mean to disappear on me Dont tell me you wanna feel my touch If youre really decieving me Dont promise me you wont hurt me If you already are Dont promise me you'll be there If your really going to leave me Dont make me feel like fool While you're trying to break my heart Dont even speak to me If you dont want to know me Just dont bother at all I was fine before you I'm fine without you Dont think you get me When you really dont Dont underestimate me I'm smarter than you think I know this game So just dont start I'll win in the end..