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Siryn's blog: "Fallen Angel"

created on 09/28/2007  |  http://fubar.com/fallen-angel/b134956
Yes...the title is a lyric to an Avenged Sevenfold song..so go hunt it down...mwahahahaha Anyways,on to business at hand.I've been coming to terms with a lot of things lately.I'm getting over my fears one by one,by using hatred to treat the wounds.When you've been hurt so many times you become bitter to a lot things,for me mostly men.I've been lied to so damn often I've finally gotten sick of it.But you know what,the time has come to get over it and move the fuck on.I'm done hating,I'm done regretting,I'm done crying...I'm done with all of it.I'm over it..Yea,I'm still hurting but as the days go on,it lessens more and more.With the help of 3 very special friends who are there for me when I need them,no matter what mood I'm in.No matter what I say,they're there for me.Welcoming and comforting me.I dont think they know how much they mean to me so I'll take the time to single them out...Angla,my dearest,closest friend:Thank you for being there every time I fell,cried,screamed and just needed someone to lean on.You mean so much to me and I dont think I've told you lately.But damnit girl,sometimes you're all I have.I appreciate that.I love you girl! Goth: Who knew what would blossom between us.I found someone who thinks like me and feels my pain even when she's happy.You've done everything to bring a smile to myself even when I was crying..Words cant express how much you mean to me...my adopted sister,i love you bunches and bunches..never forget that! Miyavi: Dude,you're nuts and I like that.lol You make me laugh my ass off and you're a huge comfort to me when I do get to talk to you..You crazy lil bastard.You give me hope when I cant find it on my own.You and your girl make me go on..Thank you...you still gotta teach me to play the guitar thou!you arent escaping that!mwahahaha Ok...moving on....You know what...I'm everything other girls will never be.I'll be your best friend,the best girlfriend you could ever have,the best sex you ever got,bc I'm that mother fuckin good...No-ones perfect,but if it was true,then I'm perfect as hell.I'm done hating myself bc ya know what,my flaws make me better than anyone else.I know what I look like,and damnit,I'm sexy no matter what anyone says.You may not see it,but I do....Just a lil side note,I'm not seeking a relationship,I want someone to seek me..However I do have my eyes on someone..He's really sweet,funny,and good looking..I have a crush on him and I admit it damnit...you know who you are!I promise I will give you that back massage soon too ;) Just to let some of you know I'm thinking of pursuing a career in tattooing and piercing..Who knows if I'll be good at it.I need to take some more art classes and then the classes to get certified..so who knows!I want to make something of myself and get the hell out of this state.It really is the 7th level of hell...so yea,stay tuned folks..i'll keep yall updated!Love you all!Leave comments or i shall stab you with a spork!

Why is it??

Current mood: angry,hurt,sad... Listening to:Already Over Pt2 by Red Why is it people do the things they do?Lead you along,make u feel so good about yourself and everything and then when u arent paying attention they turn around and say something stupid?Especially when they know u'll find out about it? Im so sick of trying to get close to someone,actually succeeding and they turn around and do something stupid...I started liking this guy a lot,and he finally told me he wanted to date me..Well when i wasnt around he goes and tells someone else he wants to go see another girl and try to date her right after he just told me he wanted me!Wtf man....If u really didnt want me or want me in any way,u shouldve said something to me..Not lead me on...Definitely not go and say something like that...I dont know if i really want an explanation or just leave it alone..I hate the fact i was crying because of that,and i hate the fact i feel like i was fucked with..im so angry and hurt right now...im beginning to wonder whats wrong with me...let alone how the hell this happened again to me....im starting to think there is no man out there for me like my brother...my brother is the perfect man..loving,caring,supportive,funny and just always there when u need him...its so hard to find someone that makes me as happy as my brother does...then again he knows me better than anyone.....i wouldve given u everything,i want u to know that...my heart,my soul,my mind,everything..and thats not good enough i suppose...the biggest stab is u couldnt even tell me that u wanted someone else....i guess i was oblivious to it until today......im sick of hunting for someone to want me for me.....i want someone to find me,to tell me they want me completely...i guess there is no-one out there like that...so im giving up for now...i need to get away from everything....everyone...so i dunno if this is goodbye for a while,or just me saying im gonna become vacant and void of all emotion for awhile or what...we'll see when my brother calls me....i'm sorry i wasnt good enough D.....i prolly never would have been...atleast in ur eyes..maybe i wasnt pretty enough,or thin enough.....but maybe someone else will think i am,and when that person does,they'll be happy to have all of me...so leave comments if yall feel froggy enough,i know my girl stephy will...dunno bout anyone else....thanx for listening to my screwed up life...goodnight...

New Story...

Ok this is just a random thing..I write short stories,or long stories..Depending on my mood....so here: I brush my fingers against your cheek softly.Gazing into your eyes.Searching for an answer to my questions.You seem so cold tonight and the words just wont come to my mind to tell you anything.You standing there looking blankly at me.Emotionless eyes starring into my tear filled eyes.How did it get to this point?Where we drifted apart in the one place we found comfort in together?You turning from me,brushing aside my fingers,looking into the darkness of the night.Why wont you talk to me?Here in this finally hour?When I need you most you turn from me.Cant you feel it?What you're doing to me.And the words finally come to me..A song... "I come to you in pieces,so you can make me whole.." what do ya think?good?bad?crazy?

From Me To Whoever...

Would you embrace me every time you saw me?Could you love me as I am without judging me when i make mistakes?Would you pick me up when i fell?Would you be able to read me even with my emotion masks up?Would you love me completely and never hurt me?Would you stand up for me when i'm too weak to do it myself? I'm running out of questions...i want answers.Would you be my everything and me your everything?Could you accept me as i am or try to make me change to fit some perfect ideal girl?Could you handle me and my craziness? To you,the one who i keep missing...Everyone has a equal half in this world,where the hell are you?!rawr!!! im done now i think....
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