Siryn's blog: "Random Poetry"

Through these eyes Can you see The pain that lies inside My soul crying for help From all the wounds Ive received All the battles that Ive lost My heart is broken And I struggle to fix it Reaching out to someone Anyone at this point in time To help me out of this cell I wasnt looking when I found you Someone who makes me smile Constantly picking me up when I stumble Leaning on you I found something Not intending to I found myself falling for you Day by day The more we talked And the more you comforted me The more alive I became You stimulate me more than anything Making me want to believe in myself I'm far from being perfect The scars on my arm prove that But it doesnt matter to you I dont have to be anything more than me For you to like me To want me You welcomed me with open arms And cradle me with warmth But now,after all this time,you want to leave I'm begging you to stay Dont leave me alone We waited so long to talk one-on-one And you want to let that go You said you didnt want to hurt me You will if you leave Ive already cried when you said that I'll cry more if you go If you go,I go Nothing will be the same without you I want you to stay To be by my side But I'm not sure if you see that You mean so much to me And I wont let you go without a fight I know things are complicated And I can be patient I cant make you want me You have to decide that But Im begging you not to go Please stay my friend Please?

In this darkness I can see whats left of my life Dwindling so quickly before my eyes I cant stop the process The more I try The faster it falls away Piece by piece My silent screams Echo in my head Eyes so full of pain Shed the hardest of tears One by one Sliding down my cheeks Rocking back and forth Praying that someone will help me Forgive my for my crimes I've been so alone Here in this darkness Where no-one can find me Can these feelings be right? I can hear life amongst the light That of which I cannot reach Aching for some release I'm struggling every day To make noise in which to be found But its nothing more than a whisper Erased by the harsh wind And the tears still come Faster and harder And still nothing No-one can find me M.I.A before your very eyes And you dont realize it Will you ever?

How foolish we become When we step into the darkness Looking for something we arent sure about Never knowing what will find us There's a whisper in the wind A promise of love Passion and kindness And you lean towards it Slowly following the whispers We walked in here together Friends trying to find answers And you abandoned me For something you cant see Im screaming at you to come back But youre too far entranced to hear me I wait and wait You finally come back Locked arms with a fake A forced smile on your face The pain hidden within your eyes You say youre in love and happy But I know youre lying Bc I can see everything brewing beneath the surface Youre letting her take control And no matter what you do She'll always have control You refuse to be a man Instead you play the part of the toy I bet you cant see all the others who've been on her You continue to pretend and fake I cant see you this way No matter what I do to make you see You keep being ignorant to the truth Walking away from you towards my own life I stare at you from the arms of another Shaking my head in sadness You'll eventually see As I walk away with someone of my own That the picture she painted for you is a lie And you'll come to your senses By then it'll be too late My dear friend You've fallen for a succubus And you are ignorantly blissful about it I cant help you You have to do that yourself And I hope its soon For your sake

I hid it for so long The things that bothered me And finally could take no more Regretfully displaying everything before you Hoping things would be cleared up Yet now all I get is silence Avoidance I thought you were better than that Maybe I was wrong again I waited so long to get you to myself And things have gone so wrong My heart is aching Bleeding on the floor Laying before you And you stand there Motionless and uncaring I thought you loved me And now I see you dont The wrong paths have been chosen And I sit here waiting For something For anything Say something Before its too late I didnt mean to push you away like this I just wanted you to know And this is what I get I wish i had kept it to myself Whats done is done Is this the end? Am i getting nothing now? Speak to me if you love me Ignore me if i never meant anything to you But you will always mean something to me. I still love you...

a image in the mirror a person long forgotten a slain memory ive forgotten what it was like to be with someone to open my heart again without fear grasping me tightly i never knew it would be this way with you i'm not afraid or i tell myself so you consume my thoughts my dreams all aspects of my mind and heart i fear it too early to tell you my feelings but i already have you've yet to shun me away lock me out in the cold regret whispers in my ear i should've met you sooner but alas it matters not i have you now and you arent going anywhere you accept me for me appearance and all a whisper of love in my ear a kiss of desire on my lips a touch of passion on my flesh my dearest i want to always be this happy never take that away from me

i cant wear this disguise anymore cant hide the lies hidden beneath wear the masks to hide the truth dance this masquerade nothing is as it seems the dream has come to an end and im the only one to realize it you continue to divulge in desire that only you share and i can no longer be apart of it its not right to pretend any more lead you along its not meant to be coming to terms with the things ive done things ive said intentions coming to present i dont know how to tell you the words that scream in my head im sorry for everything i was the biggest waste of your time and eventually you wouldve seen it i have love for you but im not in love with you can never be my heart lies somewhere else i can no longer talk to you the way i once did guilt stains my hands my mind and my body i understand what im doing and you may not its for the best it ends this way we took a chance on something that started burning from the beginning from underneath us i was the one to see the smoke first im sorry i'm hurting you its nothing to do with you,you were perfect i hold you very closely to my heart my dear friend,thats all you were meant to be hate me for the way i feel,the words i speak its the truth i understand if u distance yourself from me quit talking to me i deserve it,but i cant be with you its not right,it never was so i'll bow out gracefully take my coward leave forgive me but i wont be on tomorrow or for a few days.. im sorry..

looking in the mirror i dont recognize that face as blood spills into the sink a razorblade falls to the floor the tears staining red cheeks eyes strained and hurt the pain that was held inside now bleeding out no longer able to hold it back control the feelings locked inside for so long its been this way reaching out for someone to see the battle raging inside and no-one saw the pain laying behind those eyes once filled with happiness so care free fingers trace the mirror inscribing words with blood before slowly sliding to the floor bloody hand prints grace the cabinet proping against a wall as the eyes flutter no words can come from held breathe and when they come home seeing the bathroom light on all they'll see is the body on the floor in a pool of blood and the words on the mirror and hopefully they'll say them out loud so they can echo through the house 'im sorry i wasnt perfect,am i perfect now?' promise me you wont cry at my funeral you never cried for me before so why start now? its already over.

black top low lights the sound of engines all around the ground trembles the cars roar the onlookers hoot and hollar the flag is being held tightening the grip reving the engine hand on the clutch anticipation rises anxiousness cant be contained time to devour the opponent the beast you have become the flag is dropped you change gears and slam on the gas tires squeal people yell,both cars shoot forth change gears again,gain the lead he cant keep up you knew that but just incase you have your trick he's riding your tail,and that's ok he'll get his soon enough change into the next gear,jump forward more you lose him for a second but he's back again it's all good,open the switch cover he asked,you deliver press the switch the sound entrances you speeding faster,change gears to gain max speed he looks lost as you speed across the finish line spin the wheel and slam on the breaks leaving tracks slam it into neutral and rev the engine people surround the car,screaming your name putting it into park the door opens and she steps out you just got beat by a girl man that must fucking suck for you.