All night long.
Glass shards screaming in my head.
Splintered and colliding like e-tards on whizzbangs listening to the third consequetive rendition of a daft punk song.
FUCKITMUSTNOTCOUNTFORSOMETHINGMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOP IT MAKE THEM STOPPUTTINGTHESETHINGS IN MY H E A D I CANT TAKE ITANYMOREIJUSTWANTSOMEPEACEANDFUCKINGQUIETDENYDEFYDESTROYFUCKIDONTWANTTHISIJUST WANT TO BE NORMALSPECIALNORMALSPECIALBRILLIANTBUTTHEYKEEP TAKING FROM ME IWILLBEAGOODBOYIFYOUMAKEITSTOPIWILLBEAGOODBOYIFYOUMAKEITSTOPIWILLBEAGOODBOYIFYOUSTOPIWILLBEAGOODBOYIFYOU
MAKE
IT
STOP
I made promises with a god I doubt, but don't defy or deny. I made promises to myself... that I knew I couldn't keep.
But the cicadas stopped.
The painandfearinmyhead
theringing
thelonging
theterrorofbeing
went away
if only for a moment.
I think
because
I am. Nothing.
I just want the perfect pill.
She's called complacency.
Not peace.
Not solutions, or absolution.
Oblivion.
Sweet and forgiving.
Never judging, never there, never putting ciggarettes out on your chest for forgetting her birthday.
Just nothing.
Just. Nothing.
Because nothing is just.
Nothing but empty.
And I can bring the empty.
With one determined little...
flash...
bang...
No. Nothing so messy this time.
With pleas, to a God that secretly laughs behind your back. To a God that wants the chaos to win. Wants your lands and souls to be left barren and windrashed.
Pleas to an enemy within. That loves twisting that poison dagger "freedom" in your liver.
Because it won't kill you...
not immediately anyway.
No. Nothing so loud this time.
I can bring the empty.
It comes in a bottle.
Close to my heart.
Harvested.
Refined.
Aged to perfection.
One drop is enough.
... One swig is to kiss death's firm ass.
The
whole
damn
bottle
?
Is to smack God with your cock.
Right on the chin.
It's carving your favorite word on your forearm and pouring bleach in the wound.
It's cutting off your balls just to put that soft sack-skin on your tongue.
Pulling your eye out of the socket just to shoot up.
Until that port gets rotten too
and they have to amputate your brain.
Just makes you (and by you I mean me) more of the nothing you were meant to be.
