Fairy420's blog: "Of Love, Hate, and Whatnot"

*sorry for some typo errors I have a friend who told me that virginity is just a mind-set. It may have sounded funny, but come to think of it, you can agree with him. That is if you’re unconventional and not living the typical Catholic-Filipino way. But virginity is not a question of religious beliefs. It is how you test your physical compatibility with the opposite sex. And I am speaking as a normal human being and not as a Filipino. Me and some of my friends will make fun of the word ‘virginity’ by saying ‘Tell me who’s still a virgin nowadays?’ Then I asked it again to myself, ‘yeah, who is still a virgin nowadays’? Does virginity remains only as a fiction of our human minds? If a woman have sex for the very first time, she becomes really attached to the person she did it with, if they break up, she will have a really hard time coping up with it, and say ‘how can he do this to me, I gave him everything, even myself’. But if a man loses his virginity, its nothing, they can even loose it to a prostitute. They can live with out it, and not think about ‘what if the person I am going to marry wants a virgin’? Life is so unfair when it comes to men and women. Men can be so lusty and have sex with the girls they want, and when they get married they would want a virgin. That is so not right man! And the old people would say to all the girls, you shouldn’t give up your virginity unless you are married. WHAT?!?!? How would you know if you guys are physically connected to each other? Let’s say you guys married and have sex for the first time? Both of you will be so ignorant about what you’re going to do. And what if the guy has a small talent and the bride should really be the groom? That’s really gonna suck-ass! You might tell me right now that it would be impossible to happen, but hey sometimes it does, with the technology of the 20th century, almost everything is possible. When I lost my virginity, I was 19 years old that time, and I was in love with the guy. I didn’t expect for him to be my boyfriend, because at the time he has a girlfriend. So obviously he just really wants to have sex with me. It hurt, not because he took my virginity and not to be in a relationship with me, but the only fact that I can’t be with him. That’s the part that really got me. It was my choice to have sex with him. Even if I was a virgin prior to meeting him, I am still a horn-dog in a way. It didn’t bother me that I lost my virginity. It’s going to happen eventually, so why bother. If there are any conservative girls today, who will tell me that I don’t value myself because I gave up my purity without being married, well guess what I DON’T GIVE A FLYING F*CK! You can tell me anything you want now, but all I can say is that having sex before getting married, will make you value yourself more, and will be aware about the needs of your body. I am not saying that people are like perfumes that you can test to know how they smell, but simply knowing the compatibility. I also don’t like it when some girls pretend to be virgin. I remember my schoolmate in high school, who pretends so much. All of us were always talking about sex and stuff, and she’s like ‘huh? Is it really like that?’ and of course all of us knows about it. We’re not stupid. And the part that really pisses me off is that she’s always criticizing my other friend and said ‘at least I haven’t lost my virginity’. Whaaaaatttt!?!?! But this is the funny part, some of my friends caught her giving head to her boyfriend, and the sink got off from the wall because she was seated there, having sex. So you see, you don’t have to deny that you’re not a virgin anymore nor admit it, but don’t pretend to be a virgin! Most of my friends are not a virgin anymore; we are like the version of ‘Sex and the City’ in the Philippines. Well if that’s the case I would be Samantha, I am the one who can have sex without feelings and does it with the same sex, and doesn’t want to be in a relationship. So you see having sex is fun, it’s a turn of life. It’s the spice among the sweets. Putting colors in to your life and knowing more about yourself. But be sure you do it safely. This article doesn’t urge or tell women to be like me. Or give up your virginity before getting married, or turning back to the values that we have grown with, but simply to tell that conservative, self-righteous people and those who speak of morality shouldn’t judge us because we have given up our virginity. We are human beings too, and “VIRGINITY” is not a basis of character. It is how we’re strong, and be able to face anything that makes us women valuable. Virginity is just an excuse for covering those things that you don’t want people to know. I may not be a virgin anymore, but I am a human being and woman of the 20th century! By Dee Gorriceta

*Sorry for the typo errors As I walked along the way I got now one beside me I’m so alone in this bumpy road With no one to be with and no one to hold Then I thought of your smile And I asked myself Why can’t I have you? Maybe because, You love some one else To love you is living a happy life But not loving you is living in great despair To be with you is being grateful But to be without you is being buried deep When I see you I get fascinated With the way you are You got me under me under you spell You make my eyes open wide I love you But you love another When I think of it It’s like stabbing me deep in my heart Oh how I adore you You make me laugh so hard I could almost die How odd it is, don’t you think Still I want you so badly I think of you all the time From the moment I lay my eyes at the rising sun Until I close my eyes I sleep, and dream of you I have the propensity of falling in love with you From the day I met you Your eyes are like the shinning stars above And your smile takes me up to heaven How fortunate I am just to know you Your lips are so gentle whenever we kiss It makes me want to kiss you over and over again But those lips of yours can never ever be mine For it belongs to someone else I love you so it really hurts I would do anything for you Even if it takes to risk my life I would do it for you Oh my sweetest, please take my love For you will never have this love again But no, you can’t possibly do it Because loving me will only live as a Fantasy! ~diwata~

my fallen angel come dance here close to me my fallen angel come and breathe with me tonight your sad eyes, and your sad smile makes my world go round and round let me crawl into your darkside one more step to fall behind cover me with your painful miseries hide me with your bitterness take me to your world of darkness shower your color into mine we can move the whiteness into black let's take this madness and embrace this moment i'll be here beside you, just waiting on and waiting on ~diwata~

*sorry for the typo error Don’t walk away from me But instead Turn around I can’t let you see me cry Please make up you mind Don’t let me fall behind If you walk away today I’d still be here tomorrow I gambled I surrendered I gave in And I loved I gambled I surrendered I gave in And I still love you Hey, look at me Tell me you don’t need me Tell me, How it feels like to be with me My head is spinning And I’m going, going crazy Don’t let it happen Don’t walk away ~diwata~

*Sorry for the typo error The lights are low And I am in your arms The touch of your hands Makes the urge inside of me Go stronger Now I feel your passion Inside of me We become as one person For I have given myself to you And you took me as I am When I give in Try to look straight into my eyes So I would know for a moment How it is to be loved by you When your skin presses against It feels good too much to take And I am carried away by you It makes me want you so badly You kisses soothe me Still I want more You’ve never been selfish with what you have For you have shared it with me You caressed my face And kissed me again When the night is over I am contented For you have given me the greatest satisfaction Of my life ~diwata~

*sorry for the typo error Let me lay down on your bed it's a cold night I want your arms around me do you feel the heat? do you feel that something in between me is flowing? So let's take this chance let's take this stolen moment Again and again rock our rythym in the low light I wanna feel you your smooth soft skin now run your fingers to the right places oh baby it feels so good now the heat is rising and my heart is pounding so move a li'l bit fast but please make it last ~diwata~

*Sorry for the typo error Just when you thought you’re having the most depressing part of your life, all you need is a glass of wine and a cancer stick and a friend who will listen to you and you will be back to normal. For the past couple of months I am having a dilemma if I am suffering from a personality disorder or I am depressed. I am in this situation where I am so bored with what I do in general. My life would be waking up at 11 o’ clock PM to sit in front of my computer, stare at the monitor and hoping that I will receive an interesting email. While I do that, I consume my coffee and smoke. At that moment, I will listen to Jack Johnson, naturally, while my mind is blank. When I am done with my cup of coffee, its time for me to take a bath and get ready for work. When I get to the office, I will look for a station where it’s near my crush’s station, which is beside him. So of course I will get to be shy, and reasons to smile. My work is to receive calls, and activate a person’s credit card. It’s an easy job, but hard part about it, and that really stresses me is that it doesn’t require thorough thinking, not at all. Everything you have to do must be read; although there are certain circumstances where the person you’re talking to is an inborn cretin. Doing this job made me realize that there are so many mentally-challenged people in the world. But that’s just me. So when shift ends, which by the way I work 11 hours, four times a week, I would go home to an empty place, which my mum is just inside her room sleeping, if not watching TV. I will have the maid prepare what I am going to eat, and then go straight to my room, change my clothes, sit in front of the computer again, and stare at the monitor, and again my mind blank. I will stay up until 6pm just for nothing. Then I go to sleep and do the same thing all over again. My life pretty much is a routine. Knowing how sad a person’s life can be by doing the same thing all over again everyday, is what I have and what I only got. Now, when I am not working, all I do is just waste money drinking, or waste my time, feeling so bored, staring at the monitor of my computer. I know, it’s so pathetic. It made me realize, that my life has changed. You see, I have this problem about multi-tasking on my life, although I am very good at it when it comes to other things. And the thing that makes it worse is that I can’t talk to anybody what I really feel. Or what’s wrong with me. Not even my closest friend B. Why am I so bored? Is it because that I can’t do what I really want to do? Then there goes another question, what do I really want to do? B said that I have to find what my passion is. Well, here’s the thing, I don’t know what I am passionate with. I am a Jack-of-all-trades. I can do a lot of things. And most of it I am really good at doing. So there goes one of my major issue, “What do I really want to do?” and “What I am really passionate with?” What’s with the drama? People will always have drama aside from the issues with ourselves. For the past couple of months, I have been having this drama. Here’s the truth, I am empty. I am alone. This is the time were I contemplate on everything that I have gone through and then be bitter. I know that in the previous article I have written “The Life of a Single Woman” I have cherished the joys of a single woman. But now, I despise it. Then I asked my self, why am I so single, when I am beautiful and intelligent. And so what the fuck is wrong with me? Here goes my insecurity, my body issues. I admit it again, I am overweight. There I said it. Here’s another thing, is being overweight makes you an ugly girl or woman? And the confusing part here is that, the fact that I am overweight and such, some men still find me kissable and fuckable. So how come I am still single? This is really depressing you know. Everyday I am hoping that I would stop asking why. But whenever I stop asking why, I start asking when. I feel so pathetic. I think that I have been waiting a very long time for that man who would really see me. Somebody who can satisfy my mind in any way possible, is that too much to ask? Issue number two, I am single. Boredom, it’s killing me. Nothing new is coming in my life right now. It’s the same old shit only different day. I’ve got so many friends. In fact I’ve got so many great friends. But how come I am still bored? Is it because we do the same shit every time we see each other? You know, whenever I go to my friends bar to watch B’s band, I feel that everything is so redundant. Then I see all around me, everything looks the same, some people I know, some people I don’t. While watching them mingle with each other, I felt so out of place. I feel like I don’t belong here anymore. Lately, I have noticed that I go home early. It’s like I can’t stomach the situation anymore. I feel so alone and it fucking bores me. Third major issue, Boredom. Now here’s the hard part. What is my real issue here? Is it about boredom, being single, or not knowing what I want? I seek an advice from my aunt, and she said that I am going through an “identity crisis” situation. Is it really the point where I am right now? As you can see right now I have so many questions going on in my head. I really don’t like to think too much. Although I like using my brains to think and analyze things, what I hate is thinking too much on things that I know where the answers are. But I just can’t find them. Just like my room, and my life, disorganized. My life is messy and I mean that literally. I don’t know how to set goals for myself. And that is the main reason why I can’t multi-task on things that I should do. Laziness, my ultimate enemy, it is reason of my suffering. I’ve worked in a company I don’t like at all, and the reason why I don’t quit is that I am too lazy to find a new company, and too lazy to apply. I can’t prioritize things because I am too lazy to do what I ‘need’ to do. I am lazy, and that’s a fact. Now I think I am picking the pieces of the puzzle that I should have solved a long time ago. Its just a matter of being more organized and try to be less messy on things, and maybe I will solve this puzzle completely. ~diwata~

*Sorry if there are typo errors. A kiss is a kiss. But what makes it special is the moment when that happens. It’s all about the moment, but that’s just me. I’ve seen this movie “Hitch” starring Will Smith, and he said there that “the first kiss, will always tell the woman what kind of relationship a guy would want”, is this true? Or is it just another exaggeration of the movie world. But if it is true, then it’s just all about the relationship. How about a kiss when you’re drunk or two people who just got caught up in a situation and kissed? How about that? Can somebody explain that to me? Please. My life is pretty much like a T.V. sitcom, or sometimes a soap opera. Everything happens. And this one episode, I won’t forget. I got a kiss from a stranger. He wasn’t a total stranger actually, I know his name, and he knows mine. But we’re not really close to each other; we talk but not as much as I do to my friends. In short, we’re just acquainted. And to me, he is indeed a stranger. It started by seeing him everyday in the office, he caught my attention because of his tattoo on his right arm. So I had my eyes on him. Then for some strange reason, we always have the same break schedule. He was there during my 15 minute smoking breaks and during my lunch. And every time I see him he was just there standing, not knowing me and not knowing him. Then one time I was smoking and talking to a friend, who I didn’t know was his team mate, and of course he was there, and was almost included to the whole conversation, so we smiled at each other. After that scenario, whenever we see each other during our breaks, we have made some progress, and this time we smile at each other and say hi’s and hello’s. Another day passed and this time I was with his team mates again, and of course I told them that I am crushing the Scorpion King. And so they called him and asked him to sit with us, and just hang out during our lunch. And that day he was borrowing my lighter. Of course I lent him my lighter. His team mate calls me “beautiful”, and she said “hey beautiful, may I borrow you lighter?” and I said “beautiful?” Then she goes “yeah beautiful…” looking at the Scorpion King and asked “isn’t it right Scorpion King, she’s beautiful?” and he agreed. Few convos passed, and again we’re alone. So I told him “you know, I’ve been seeing you all the time, even during my breaks, but I don’t know your name” and he put out his hands to shake mine and said his name, and of course I shook his hand and said my name. It was a good start. I know his name now. But we are still the same, two strangers in the same world, at the same time, yet not knowing what to come between them. The hellos are the same, the smiles were the same. And when time came to end all this sameness, it was unusual and was fast. This time we are in the same elevator. He was behind me, and I was leaning on the wall of the elevator, when he suddenly touched my upper left chest to check out my tattoo. And he caressed my inked skin, and then I showed him my other tattoo, the one on my lower back, so he did the same thing about it. When we reached his floor he said goodbye and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It felt weird coz we’re not close to give kisses on the cheeks. Christmas passed, and we met again, this time we stepped in the elevator alone. We were standing and leaning on the walls of the elevator, and the Scorpion King came forward and said “I am about to get off”, then he touched my face and he slowly moved his face towards mine and placed his soft, reddish, slightly moist lips onto mine, and then he looked at me and paused, while holding my face with his smooth hands he just stared at me for like a second, and again he made me feel like a whole lot of woman, by giving me soft kisses, which I kissed back, and there in the elevator we have shared our moment by not being strangers, but by being two people who craves for each other. The feeling of his lips against mine was heavenly sweet. The taste of that scenario is utterly luscious. Kissing is inevitable, you’re just locked up in that instant of lips against lips, where your heart is pounding fast, and you’re mind is just clogged. You’re breath are just taken away by the other person, the silence is deafening. If you’re in that situation you just can’t get enough of it. It’s like all the affection comes out. You will feel like you’re in a movie that every fantasy is just there and you just don’t want to stop, and when you stop every magic that you have will feel like it was all worth the time. It was me and the Scorpion King let alone in an elevator sharing something that no one else knows, solace yet desirous. We had the most wonderful kisses to each other. Then it comes to the point where you have to stop because you have to. Then you will feel that everything is like a dream where you just don’t want to wake up. So I have to step off of the elevator and there I ended my day. After all that excitement and lip teasing, I get a kiss from a stranger everyday. The feeling of kissing somebody is lovely, but the feeling of kissing somebody you don’t really know is exciting. You just can’t wait to do it again. For the longest time I have always have crushes, but this one I get to kiss. It’s all good. The loveliest part about it is the moment when we do it. It was spontaneous! The location, it’s so kinky, the elevator. I really don’t want to have sex with him. Even if he’s so hot. It is not in my option. We’re just kissing bandits. And I love it to stay that way. I think that if it would be more than a kiss it would ruin the moment and the idea of just a wonderful kiss every now and then. For me it’s all about the moment. Not even the location can top that. It’s weird how I say this. But it’s beautiful. That time was a blast. I kept the Scorpion King in my little black book for reference. But it stopped right there. Few days later he stopped kissing me. I lost my stranger. He was almost gone. When we see each other, we just smile, but there are no words or whispers between me and him, we were just there standing, as if nothing happened. Well nothing really happened, except that we kissed unexpectedly. What I like about the Scorpion King is that he is so spontaneous, unpredictable to my eyes. Now it makes me ask, why he kissed me in the first place. I know why I kissed him. If I ask him, which would be inappropriate on both our end, it would come out that I am too insecure that’s why I asked. And of course I am not insecure. I just have this itch about curiosity. I just want to know what is it about me that made him want to kiss me so f-ing good. Is he just that flirty with the female specie or he just likes to kiss women whenever he has the chance to? And why did he stop? I love kissing the Scorpion King. I have been thinking a lot about his soft wet lips that touched mine. When somebody kisses you, what’s on your mind? As for me, I don’t know at all. I can’t seem to identify what exactly goes on in my mind, when I received that unexpected kiss. When I am making out with somebody else, all I have in mind is lust. I am full of lust, and I admit that. But when it comes to the Scorpion King he leaves me with nothing. My mind is blank. All I know is that I am kissing him. When you put your lips against another lips everything turns cosmic for me. Everything seems so hazy yet wonderful. The Scorpion King leads me to a place where we are just alone in the world. The moment that we had there was unbelievable and unforgettable. He made me think about him over and over again. I know that kisses don’t really lead into something, but that’s okay. The most essential thing here for me is that I get to taste his wonderful soft lips. So what is it about kissing that makes it so special? Is the moment, the person, the relationship or just the fact that he or she is a good kisser? I will leave that question hanging. Moving back to my adventure to my Scorpion King, we became team mates. So this time I get to see him everyday 11 hours a day, 4 times a week. And if I get lucky, I get to sit beside him. Few days passed, and we finally became friends, we talk sometimes, but we’re still strangers. Nobody knows in our team what we have done before. It was splendid. We have this big secret. Friends keep secrets, as for us, we’re not in that secret-keeping-friends level. We’re just us. Every passing day is a new day for me when it comes to the Scorpion King; I always wait what move he would do. Nothing that is the word that best describe the situation. Nothing at all. We sit beside each other, but we still don’t talk. It was weird. Few weeks before I resign, we have been hanging out more often. We sit beside each other, we joke, we talk a bit, and I smell him. And sometimes give him a hug, and joked that I like him. And when my last week is due, I don’t follow my break schedule anymore, what I do is I follow the Scorpion King’s schedule. He was aware of that, so he asks me little favor that he goes first and then I follow. Then when he goes home, which he does an hour earlier than my shift, I go to the pantry where I know where he is, when I we bump into each other, I tell him “go home, and give me a kiss.” And he would. He would give me a smack and leave. Then my day is over. Now this I want to tell detail by detail, our last episode. It was the day before my official resignation date. It was our second to the last break of the day, we were in the elevator like always, we we’re standing beside each other but this time we are not yet alone, and he stretched his arm to put around me and pulled me over to him. I felt weird, yet it was like a good sign. So what I did is that I put my right arm to his back and leaned to his side and gave his left arm a kiss, and smelled it. What he did is he went in front of me and leaned to me, while I gave his back a kiss, and again smelled him. Then we came to the point where we were alone again, this time I was on his left side. I looked at him, and he looked at me, then he gave me a soft smack, he looked at me and kissed me again, and he did the same thing about 2 more times. It was sweet. His kisses were sweet. My last day came. Again, we were inside the elevator same time, our second to the last break. We didn’t kiss this time around, but he leaned to me, and I put my arms around him. Last break came, and alone again him and me in the elevator, our favorite place of mischief. I was on his back again, and he leaned to me again. And this time I didn’t put my arms around him. He just looked at me and gave me those soft kisses again. Those soft, sweet, kisses I surely won’t forget. It was my final hour. I went to the pantry to have the chance to see him one last time. And I did, we said our goodbyes, hugged the last time and kissed me one last time. The Scorpion King, definitely a story, an episode that I will always remember. Even now I still of him more often, thinking of those kisses that he have given me, and still asking why. He have left a mark in my mind that he was the first guy I have kissed in the elevator. The moment that we did it was remarkable. Kissing doesn’t have to happen in a relationship, it can be spontaneous to a spontaneous person. The day I kissed his soft lips has always been in my mind ever since. Nothing can top that experience. He made me end my day and my last day in the office a pure blast. But of course this has been another lesson for me, because I would know what to do next time this happens. Again it has been the moment for me and him. And for me it was that day that he first kissed me over and over again in the elevator and still remained strangers. ~diwata~

*sorry for the typo errors Love is the most contagious illness in the world. It is the root of all stupidity that has been with us since the earth began living. It can cause you a lot of things, but there are only few symptoms. This love that I am referring to is not in general though; to be specific it is about guys and girls who are into each other. It starts by crushing somebody, asks you out, kiss and make out, intimacy, and leaves you with a broken heart. Tears will flood the entire universe, much worse than what is shown in the movie “Waterworld”. It’s like AIDS and HIV, falling in love is HIV and love is AIDS. Falling in love will be the start, and when it’s not prevented it may become a fully pledge love. I have been trying to avoid love since I broke up with my last boyfriend and that was a thousand years ago. Believe me it was traumatic. After that, I told myself that I will never fall in love or love in order not to get hurt. I have been cured. And the only cure to this decease can only be found in you. Forget about it for a moment. Have your heart take some rest. Our hearts get tired sometimes, especially when it’s being use to some moron who comes in to your life. So people, have a break (have a kit Kat). I may not have a survey for this, but this is a fact already. A lot of people have proven it that our hearts are tired of loving and our eyes are tired of crying. When love struck a person, some people say that there is nothing you can do about it. Actually there is. All you have to do is prioritize other things. Then an argument will rise up. And will say “but you just can’t help thinking about it”, my answer is this, “The reason why you can’t help thinking about it, is that, you don’t want to stop!” as simple as that. People have choices. There is no such thing as ‘there’s nothing you can do about it’. That’s B.S.! If you don’t want something, you will make excuses for it, but if you want something, you have tons of ways to do it. So how come you can’t avoid love? If you want, you can! A lot of people have been struggling for this thing called love. Questions rise up and confuse you, then you will make a problem, and after that you will make it as your friend’s problem too. You ask advice in which you will not apply, so what the purpose of asking advice and help when you don’t even want to understand. The point of asking for help is for you to be able to figure things out on what you need to do. Then it is pointless to seek help when you still do it your way and your way alone. If a friend asks you an opinion of what you think on his/her situation, always start with this question “what do you want me to say, something that you want to hear, or something honest?”, then after that you will identify if this person has the decease or simply pathetic. But it’s a good start though; maybe it will help you solve your own demons and may answer your own questions. What is it that you really want? You have to know that. It’s the most difficult question to all of us. Planning what you need to do can help you a lot. Lowering your expectations is a big one as well. Knowing yourself can cure this decease. That’s all it takes. I am not saying this because I am an expert, but I am basing it on my experiences. Experiences can help you a lot; it makes you stronger and smarter. Use your mind and not you heart. And when the time comes that you need to have love again, then you’ll know what to do, because you’re smarter and tougher. There is nothing that people can do or say to hurt you because now you know better! ~diwata~

*Sorry if there are any typo error. Just when you thought that cigarettes are bad for your health, you still find the odds of smoking and consuming every inch of the cancer stick. True that it can harm your health, and the fact that it’s a horrid habit, it really does kill. But for me smoking is a part of me, my whole being. I have been smoking for as long as I can remember my first puff of the cancer stick. I have no idea why I liked it but I do. It's something like taking a shower every now and then during a very hot summer, you just can't get enough of it. All smokers will agree with me I know that for a fact. I grew up in a house where both my parents smoke. I don't blame them for smoking; it's their habit which eventually became mine. I started smoking at a very young age, trust me you don't want to know. I am sure for the longest time of smoking; I probably have billions of holes in my lungs by now. I am afraid of knowing that, coz I don’t want to find out if I am already sick. Smoking cures everything about me. My thoughts, my reputation, and my self-confidence. I know it’s weird how I look at it that way. When I smoke I feel invincible, like the whole world is mine. I take smoking seriously, for me it's not just an addiction but a combination of a lot of things. I smoke when I read, write, listen to music, when I cook, when I drink, in short I smoke a lot! So what? It's my health. A lot of people have been telling me to stop smoking, and there is only one answer I can give them, and that is; if I stop smoking then it wouldn't be me at all. And I don't want to be a different person just because I stopped smoking. I would find it weird to be around me. It's like me without me. Smoking is composed of a lot of things in a smoker. It is composed of your ego, pride, attention, thoughts, attitude, and addiction. A single stick that has a content of a whole being. So if you stop smoking all of these will be changed. You may still have it but not as good as puffing a cigarette. Sometimes when you think while smoking you never realize that the cigarette is consuming you more that you're supposed to consume it. In this world full of differences all you need is one puff and you're back to your old self. Those who don’t smoke will never experience this kind of situation, for they have their own way of experiencing things. But of course I respect them. I know that one day I will realize that smoking is really bad for me, but when that time comes, I will make sure that all the contents of a cigarette will already complete in me, which would make me a complete person. A cigarette is my best friend, and I know it will leave me asking for more. But time will come that it will leave me for good, and breathing would be much clearer. ~diwata~