*Sorry if there are any typo error.
Just when you thought that cigarettes are bad for your health, you still find the odds of smoking and consuming every inch of the cancer stick. True that it can harm your health, and the fact that it’s a horrid habit, it really does kill. But for me smoking is a part of me, my whole being. I have been smoking for as long as I can remember my first puff of the cancer stick. I have no idea why I liked it but I do. It's something like taking a shower every now and then during a very hot summer, you just can't get enough of it. All smokers will agree with me I know that for a fact.
I grew up in a house where both my parents smoke. I don't blame them for smoking; it's their habit which eventually became mine. I started smoking at a very young age, trust me you don't want to know. I am sure for the longest time of smoking; I probably have billions of holes in my lungs by now. I am afraid of knowing that, coz I don’t want to find out if I am already sick.
Smoking cures everything about me. My thoughts, my reputation, and my self-confidence. I know it’s weird how I look at it that way. When I smoke I feel invincible, like the whole world is mine. I take smoking seriously, for me it's not just an addiction but a combination of a lot of things. I smoke when I read, write, listen to music, when I cook, when I drink, in short I smoke a lot! So what? It's my health.
A lot of people have been telling me to stop smoking, and there is only one answer I can give them, and that is; if I stop smoking then it wouldn't be me at all. And I don't want to be a different person just because I stopped smoking. I would find it weird to be around me. It's like me without me.
Smoking is composed of a lot of things in a smoker. It is composed of your ego, pride, attention, thoughts, attitude, and addiction. A single stick that has a content of a whole being. So if you stop smoking all of these will be changed. You may still have it but not as good as puffing a cigarette.
Sometimes when you think while smoking you never realize that the cigarette is consuming you more that you're supposed to consume it. In this world full of differences all you need is one puff and you're back to your old self. Those who don’t smoke will never experience this kind of situation, for they have their own way of experiencing things. But of course I respect them.
I know that one day I will realize that smoking is really bad for me, but when that time comes, I will make sure that all the contents of a cigarette will already complete in me, which would make me a complete person. A cigarette is my best friend, and I know it will leave me asking for more. But time will come that it will leave me for good, and breathing would be much clearer.
~diwata~
