*sorry for some typo errors
I have a friend who told me that virginity is just a mind-set. It may have sounded funny, but come to think of it, you can agree with him. That is if you’re unconventional and not living the typical Catholic-Filipino way. But virginity is not a question of religious beliefs. It is how you test your physical compatibility with the opposite sex. And I am speaking as a normal human being and not as a Filipino.
Me and some of my friends will make fun of the word ‘virginity’ by saying ‘Tell me who’s still a virgin nowadays?’ Then I asked it again to myself, ‘yeah, who is still a virgin nowadays’? Does virginity remains only as a fiction of our human minds?
If a woman have sex for the very first time, she becomes really attached to the person she did it with, if they break up, she will have a really hard time coping up with it, and say ‘how can he do this to me, I gave him everything, even myself’. But if a man loses his virginity, its nothing, they can even loose it to a prostitute. They can live with out it, and not think about ‘what if the person I am going to marry wants a virgin’? Life is so unfair when it comes to men and women. Men can be so lusty and have sex with the girls they want, and when they get married they would want a virgin. That is so not right man! And the old people would say to all the girls, you shouldn’t give up your virginity unless you are married. WHAT?!?!? How would you know if you guys are physically connected to each other? Let’s say you guys married and have sex for the first time? Both of you will be so ignorant about what you’re going to do. And what if the guy has a small talent and the bride should really be the groom? That’s really gonna suck-ass! You might tell me right now that it would be impossible to happen, but hey sometimes it does, with the technology of the 20th century, almost everything is possible.
When I lost my virginity, I was 19 years old that time, and I was in love with the guy. I didn’t expect for him to be my boyfriend, because at the time he has a girlfriend. So obviously he just really wants to have sex with me. It hurt, not because he took my virginity and not to be in a relationship with me, but the only fact that I can’t be with him. That’s the part that really got me. It was my choice to have sex with him. Even if I was a virgin prior to meeting him, I am still a horn-dog in a way. It didn’t bother me that I lost my virginity. It’s going to happen eventually, so why bother.
If there are any conservative girls today, who will tell me that I don’t value myself because I gave up my purity without being married, well guess what I DON’T GIVE A FLYING F*CK! You can tell me anything you want now, but all I can say is that having sex before getting married, will make you value yourself more, and will be aware about the needs of your body. I am not saying that people are like perfumes that you can test to know how they smell, but simply knowing the compatibility.
I also don’t like it when some girls pretend to be virgin. I remember my schoolmate in high school, who pretends so much. All of us were always talking about sex and stuff, and she’s like ‘huh? Is it really like that?’ and of course all of us knows about it. We’re not stupid. And the part that really pisses me off is that she’s always criticizing my other friend and said ‘at least I haven’t lost my virginity’. Whaaaaatttt!?!?! But this is the funny part, some of my friends caught her giving head to her boyfriend, and the sink got off from the wall because she was seated there, having sex. So you see, you don’t have to deny that you’re not a virgin anymore nor admit it, but don’t pretend to be a virgin!
Most of my friends are not a virgin anymore; we are like the version of ‘Sex and the City’ in the Philippines. Well if that’s the case I would be Samantha, I am the one who can have sex without feelings and does it with the same sex, and doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
So you see having sex is fun, it’s a turn of life. It’s the spice among the sweets. Putting colors in to your life and knowing more about yourself. But be sure you do it safely.
This article doesn’t urge or tell women to be like me. Or give up your virginity before getting married, or turning back to the values that we have grown with, but simply to tell that conservative, self-righteous people and those who speak of morality shouldn’t judge us because we have given up our virginity. We are human beings too, and “VIRGINITY” is not a basis of character. It is how we’re strong, and be able to face anything that makes us women valuable. Virginity is just an excuse for covering those things that you don’t want people to know. I may not be a virgin anymore, but I am a human being and woman of the 20th century!
By Dee Gorriceta
