wimsey's blog: "News of Me"

I did another photo shoot with MikeNinja last night, so I will be adding photos to four new folders, as well as the Photos of Me folder, as Mikey and I have time to work on them. I may be posting some photos that are available only to family. If you are not in my family, do not ask to see them. You will merely annoy me, perhaps enough for me to delete you from my friends list entirely. If you want to understand my idea of Fubar family, please read this blog. Hope you enjoy them!

People aren't really reading my blogs on here anymore. Many of my closest friends have moved on and aren't really around on Fubar any longer, and I haven't met any new people who are interested enough in me to read my blogs. As a result, I'm going to stop blogging here. If anyone's interested, I'm consolidating over on LiveJournal.

Tanya's blog on LiveJournal

I hope that if you are interested in my thoughts, you'll join me there. Otherwise, thanks to those who stopped by my blog once in awhile, and I'm glad some of you could join me on my Fubar/CherryTap/LostCherry journey over the past year.

When I was seeking the best possible quote for my Pinup profile, I found a lot of quotes by women that I found appealing. I thought I'd share a few of them. Some tickled my funny bone, and some I thought very apt and on target. All I truly enjoyed. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~Author Unknown The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~Oprah Winfrey Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton Curve: The loveliest distance between two points. ~Mae West The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. ~Anita Loos I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament. ~Alanis Morissette Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~Lois Wyse Most women are one man away from welfare. ~Gloria Steinem A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. ~Lucille Ball It matters more what's in a woman's face than what's on it. ~Claudette Colbert How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ~Anne Frank I am beautiful as I am. I am the shape that was gifted. My breasts are no longer perky and upright like when I was a teenager. My hips are wider than that of a fashion model's. For this I am glad, for these are the signs of a life lived. ~Cindy Olsen Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do. ~Katharine Hepburn No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ~Betty Friedan I think, therefore I'm single. ~Lizz Winstead If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. ~Virginia Woolf I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it? ~Joan Baez (who I met once) Easy is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. ~Nancy Linn-Desmond I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not. ~Lucille Ball Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on a woman. —Nancy Astor No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space. ~Gloria Steinem If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. ~Maya Angelou A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. ~Gloria Steinem Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that is not all she wants to be. ~Betty Rollin

It's been kind of a week for me, and I'm in a really black/sad mood. So, those I owe email, please forgive me, because I really don't want to write what I'm really thinking right now, so I think you're better off with no email than with gloomy email. A friend just told me he was gloating 'cuz he had another great date last night, and has another one scheduled, and my first (ugly, horrible) reaction was "fuck off." I'm not a small person, and I really am happy for him, but did I really need to hear that right now? Um, no. :) I can't even get a regular friend with benefits thing going, let alone an actual relationship. My last actual date was, um, 15 months ago? Speaking of, my last stab at a FwB came wandering back last night and wanted to get together, and I was kinda thinking "WTF? After seven weeks?" Sorry, dude, I expect more from a friend with benefits. Like, regular sex. I don't know why I keep giving him chances. I'm a sucker, I guess. I've got to stop sleeping with much younger men. My cat came through the surgery fine. His temperature is back down to normal, and his incision looks good. Of course, there's that whole "his body may be riddled with cancer" thing, but at least he survived the surgery, and they removed the life-threatening bladder stones. (Bladder stones in boy kitties are bad because they don't get passed, and if they shift and block, they can lead to death within 24 hours. So, relieved about that. Death is bad in a beloved kitty.) Went through this personal/career development class today, after which I got a summary of how my manager and peers view me. The questions are basically too general to apply, but a few of the comments really confused and upset me. I probably would handle it better if I were on an even keel, but yeah, been one of those weeks. Don't worry. My black moods rarely last long. I'm too happy by nature. But I certainly can nurse a sulk at times! Bringing my fuzzy baby home tomorrow will help. Mental note: Go to bed early tonight so I get more than five hours sleep before stupid class starts tomorrow.

My kitty Mara has been with me for 13 1/2 years now. When I adopted him (yes, he's gender-confused -- long story), he was this scared, timid fellow who spent the first six months hiding underneath my bed. He's come a long way, to the point where now he cowers from strangers on top of the bed, rather than beneath it. :) He's my baby snuggle cat. He sleeps with me every night (and regarded my ex-husband as "the interloper" for ten years). We've developed our own language. He knows when to move so I can make the bed in the morning. I know when he needs me to pick him up and put him on the couch. He still purrs when he's happy (and sad, and scared and...). He's been with me through seven moves and two serious relationships. A few weeks ago, he started having digestive problems, so I took him to the vet last week. They took X-rays and said they thought he had bladder stones (or perhaps pancreatitis), and recommended an abdominal ultrasound. So yesterday we had the ultrasound, and they found that he does, indeed, have bladder stones (which are bad in a male cat), but he also has an enlarged pancreas and lymph node, as well as thickened sections of his intestines. So he had to have surgery today to remove the stones and biopsy everything else. No one mentioned the dreaded "C" word to me, but when you get into biopsies... well, anyway. He's at least 15, probably even older, so surgery will be hard on him anyway. I know he's had a lot of good years with me, but are you ever prepared for the possibility of losing a beloved pet? So, I hope you will be thinking of my poor baby and hoping for the best result possible.

My friend riffing wrote:

So a bunch of friends have been writing personals for themselves that deliberately break the mold. The idea is to write an absolutely honest ad that doesn't make you sound very attractive, but isn't obviously trying to be unappealing.

I liked this idea, so I tried to do the same for myself.

---

I am empathetic and warm and genuinely want to help and emotionally bond with people, but I can become drained from overdoing for others and not take good enough care of myself. My intense need to understand myself and others results in stronger, closer relationships, but is frequently intimidating or frightening to those not prepared to be as vulnerable, open, and honest as I am. In a romantic relationship, I am not demanding, jealous or possessive, and I will fully support your outside interests and friendships. I will, however, also have my own. I am very emotional, but also very analytical, so I will rarely react irrationally because I'm all too aware how irrational it is (or, I will be honest about how I'm feeling, but will be perfectly willing to acknowledge how irrational it is). I can, however, be analytical to the point of paralysis. I tend to suppress emotions I think are irrational and stupid, instead of accepting them, which can lead to more irrational, unfounded resentment. I am very, very careful about who I get involved with romantically, which has served me well in establishing strong, genuinely wonderful relationships in the past, but may result in my missing out on chances I should have taken. I have no fear of embarrassing myself in public, so I will sing, and perhaps dance, along with any song that catches my ear. Some people find this tendency charming, but others find it embarrassing. I enjoy spending time with interesting, intelligent people, and love to be challenged conversationally, but I tend to be impatient with those who can't keep up with me. Despite being an extrovert, I have some decided loner tendencies, and will need time by myself to recharge. There is no one on the planet with whom I want to spend 24 hours a day, every day. I am dependable, organized, and scheduled. I tend to know what I'm doing on any given night in advance, and I will never blow you off. But I don't react well to last-minute plans, and spontaneous people who try to get together with me at the last minute will find that either I have previous plans, or I am already in a serious "going home to veg" mindset. I am probably more resistant than I should be to put myself in situations where I know I will feel uncomfortable. I tend to set high standards for my own behavior, but, as a result, I can be judgmental towards those who do not live up to my standards, including myself. No one judges me as harshly for failing someone as I do myself. I don't mean to be absent-minded, but I frequently am. I know that my time is not more valuable than yours, but I am chronically five minutes late anyway. I make more than enough money to support myself, and I don't live outside my income, but I'm terrible at budgeting and don't save money as I ought to. I buy too many books. I hate to talk on the phone, and tend to be more rigid about avoiding it than I really should be. I'm a bit of an English language elitist, and I look down my nose at those who don't understand the difference between "your" and "you're," "there" and "their," "its" and "it's." I am relatively neat, and can border on anal about my kitchens and bathrooms. I rarely go to bed with a dirty kitchen, and I will curse at you under my breath if you do not hang up your wet towel. I will, however, leave books wherever I finish reading them -- in the bathrooms, in the bedroom, in the living room. My sheets always have to match my blankets and comforter or quilt, and my towels always have to match the bathroom decor. I like to cook, and am pretty good at it, but I make huge messes when I do. I will always be honest. I always try to be kind, but sometimes honesty, even tempered with kindness, can be hurtful to those not ready for it. I will care about you wholeheartedly, and always be there for you, and I am optimistic and naive enough to think that you will do the same, even as I acknowledge to myself that realistically, most people aren't the same as I am.

I've gone ahead and removed almost all of my NSFW photos here, as I warned I would. If you are in my family, and you'd like to have access to them elsewhere, including the family-only photos, let me know. I just needed to remove them from Fubar because I got tired of morons. The family-only photos were especially frustrating. Grumble. If you are not in my family, do not ask to see the photos I removed on here. Any nagging to see photos that aren't available on here, especially if it's the first time you've talked to me, will result in immediate removal from my friends list. I'm serious about this. I'm totally sick of morons who think I'm some sort of porn star who owes them jack-off material. Sorry if this sounds bitchy -- blame the jerks who've pissed me off so repeatedly.

Just wanted to let you know that I will be aggressively thinning out my NSFW photos, and may take them down completely. So ogle 'em while you can, 'cuz they'll be going away sometime in the next few days. :) And there won't be new photos anytime soon.

My nephew Nicklas came home from first grade this week and told my sister there's a cool new kid in his class, but when Nicklas tried to talk to him, the kid said, "My mommy said I'm not supposed to talk to white people." Nicklas was very nonchalant about this statement; my sister's reaction was a lot less nonchalant. We're not in the Deep South in 1960 or something. This is a racially integrated area of the Chicago suburbs, where Caucasians, Hispanics, and blacks seemingly live in harmony. But this kid was told not to talk to white people! You can bet that if this kid were white and said, "I'm not allowed to talk to black people," there would be a lot more uproar. My sister and I were raised to be color-blind. I have friends from all cultures, all colors -- the thing that matters is that we get along and have fun together, not color or background. So I was aghast at this. Why is this okay? I've had long talks about racial integration with my friends. Debated at length the effectiveness and fairness of Affirmative Action. I know that I am a relatively positive person -- some would even say naive -- but my sense of outrage at this is amazing. I thought the world was better than this now? To have a black child sent to school with this message of discrimination and avoidance just staggers me. I'm not trying to provoke a discussion about my ignorance. I understand my naivete when it comes to racial issues. I'm a woman, but I'm also white, and I was raised with all of the advantages that entails. I accept how unbelievably ignorant I am. But I still don't really understand why giving this message to a six-year old child would protect him from life, or advance racial understanding, or anything positive. What is the point? Anyway, that's me. Learning that the world is still a far ways off from where I wish it were.

So, I feel like ranting about Fubar profiles. And this is my rant, and my personal feelings, so don't feel attacked if this applies to you (although it does probably mean your profile annoys me). First of all, blank profiles. Blank profiles indicate you have no real interest in meeting people. It says, to me, all of the following:

1. I am so boring I cannot figure out anything interesting to say.
2. I am really, really lazy.
3. I am here cruising for photos.
4. I won't bother to read your profile since I obviously place so little emphasis on my own.

Now, I realize not everyone is a writer like I am. But seriously, if you can't come up with anything to say about yourself, what are you saying to the world? This profile is the face of who you are online. Yes, there are people who read profiles! Just because your only interest is in ogling photos doesn't mean other people are the same. What do you do for a living? What are your interests, your hobbies, those funny little things about you that amuse your friends? Another pet peeve? Profiles that are blank except for the line "I don't feel like writing anything. Ask me." Yeah. See above. Actually, that annoys me even more, because it says, to me, "I'm willing to answer the same asinine 'getting to know you' questions over and over again because I'm too much of a lazyass moron to consider writing those answers here to save myself the trouble." Either that, or, "I am so very boring that those basic 'getting to know you' questions are the only things about me that are interesting." Personally, anyone with "ask me" in their profile pretty much motivates me to never, ever ask them anything. And, don't get me started on people who post so much freakin' bling on their profiles that it takes ten minutes to load. Percentage of people on Fubar who actually look at all that crap on your profile? Maybe 10%. (And I'm good at Power of Ten, too, so believe me here.) A few well-chosen graphics can say a lot to those who are more visually focused and less word-focused. But an entire profile made up of tens of graphics is merely blingy and annoying, and doesn't encourage repeat visits. Especially if you have something like a guestbook or map in the middle of it that you want people to interact with, but we can't find it among all that crap! You have graphics that you really like and want to share? Stash them!