It's been kind of a week for me, and I'm in a really black/sad mood. So, those I owe email, please forgive me, because I really don't want to write what I'm really thinking right now, so I think you're better off with no email than with gloomy email.
A friend just told me he was gloating 'cuz he had another great date last night, and has another one scheduled, and my first (ugly, horrible) reaction was "fuck off." I'm not a small person, and I really am happy for him, but did I really need to hear that right now? Um, no. :) I can't even get a regular friend with benefits thing going, let alone an actual relationship. My last actual date was, um, 15 months ago?
Speaking of, my last stab at a FwB came wandering back last night and wanted to get together, and I was kinda thinking "WTF? After seven weeks?" Sorry, dude, I expect more from a friend with benefits. Like, regular sex. I don't know why I keep giving him chances. I'm a sucker, I guess. I've got to stop sleeping with much younger men.
My cat came through the surgery fine. His temperature is back down to normal, and his incision looks good. Of course, there's that whole "his body may be riddled with cancer" thing, but at least he survived the surgery, and they removed the life-threatening bladder stones. (Bladder stones in boy kitties are bad because they don't get passed, and if they shift and block, they can lead to death within 24 hours. So, relieved about that. Death is bad in a beloved kitty.)
Went through this personal/career development class today, after which I got a summary of how my manager and peers view me. The questions are basically too general to apply, but a few of the comments really confused and upset me. I probably would handle it better if I were on an even keel, but yeah, been one of those weeks.
Don't worry. My black moods rarely last long. I'm too happy by nature. But I certainly can nurse a sulk at times! Bringing my fuzzy baby home tomorrow will help.
Mental note: Go to bed early tonight so I get more than five hours sleep before stupid class starts tomorrow.
