My friend riffing wrote:
So a bunch of friends have been writing personals for themselves that deliberately break the mold. The idea is to write an absolutely honest ad that doesn't make you sound very attractive, but isn't obviously trying to be unappealing.
I liked this idea, so I tried to do the same for myself.
I am empathetic and warm and genuinely want to help and emotionally bond with people, but I can become drained from overdoing for others and not take good enough care of myself. My intense need to understand myself and others results in stronger, closer relationships, but is frequently intimidating or frightening to those not prepared to be as vulnerable, open, and honest as I am. In a romantic relationship, I am not demanding, jealous or possessive, and I will fully support your outside interests and friendships. I will, however, also have my own.
I am very emotional, but also very analytical, so I will rarely react irrationally because I'm all too aware how irrational it is (or, I will be honest about how I'm feeling, but will be perfectly willing to acknowledge how irrational it is). I can, however, be analytical to the point of paralysis. I tend to suppress emotions I think are irrational and stupid, instead of accepting them, which can lead to more irrational, unfounded resentment. I am very, very careful about who I get involved with romantically, which has served me well in establishing strong, genuinely wonderful relationships in the past, but may result in my missing out on chances I should have taken.
I have no fear of embarrassing myself in public, so I will sing, and perhaps dance, along with any song that catches my ear. Some people find this tendency charming, but others find it embarrassing. I enjoy spending time with interesting, intelligent people, and love to be challenged conversationally, but I tend to be impatient with those who can't keep up with me. Despite being an extrovert, I have some decided loner tendencies, and will need time by myself to recharge. There is no one on the planet with whom I want to spend 24 hours a day, every day.
I am dependable, organized, and scheduled. I tend to know what I'm doing on any given night in advance, and I will never blow you off. But I don't react well to last-minute plans, and spontaneous people who try to get together with me at the last minute will find that either I have previous plans, or I am already in a serious "going home to veg" mindset. I am probably more resistant than I should be to put myself in situations where I know I will feel uncomfortable. I tend to set high standards for my own behavior, but, as a result, I can be judgmental towards those who do not live up to my standards, including myself. No one judges me as harshly for failing someone as I do myself.
I don't mean to be absent-minded, but I frequently am. I know that my time is not more valuable than yours, but I am chronically five minutes late anyway. I make more than enough money to support myself, and I don't live outside my income, but I'm terrible at budgeting and don't save money as I ought to. I buy too many books. I hate to talk on the phone, and tend to be more rigid about avoiding it than I really should be. I'm a bit of an English language elitist, and I look down my nose at those who don't understand the difference between "your" and "you're," "there" and "their," "its" and "it's."
I am relatively neat, and can border on anal about my kitchens and bathrooms. I rarely go to bed with a dirty kitchen, and I will curse at you under my breath if you do not hang up your wet towel. I will, however, leave books wherever I finish reading them -- in the bathrooms, in the bedroom, in the living room. My sheets always have to match my blankets and comforter or quilt, and my towels always have to match the bathroom decor. I like to cook, and am pretty good at it, but I make huge messes when I do.
I will always be honest. I always try to be kind, but sometimes honesty, even tempered with kindness, can be hurtful to those not ready for it. I will care about you wholeheartedly, and always be there for you, and I am optimistic and naive enough to think that you will do the same, even as I acknowledge to myself that realistically, most people aren't the same as I am.
