This is the time of year that real men love..... Damn near every night of the week.....there is either professional or college basketball on….
and college and professional football gave me plenty to get geeked about.......with bowl games, playoffs, and championships.
There’s nothing quite like an afternoon full of games, beer/liquor, and food.
But since I usually dont have shyt to do.....I routinely wake up at 3 in the damn morning to catch the games..... I did this over the weekend, and found that by the second day of this, weird things happen when you don’t get enough sleep and replace it with sports, beer, hot wings, and cashews.
There was one point during an NFL game that I thought I saw a bucktoothed bull eating Cheerios in my kitchen! I was so sleepy that I was delirious and hallucinating.
And friends, when my mind starts wandering…. I think of some weird shyt.
Like…
Why is that people who have a lot of sex are said to be “fukking like rabbits?” I mean, do rabbits have a lot of sex?? That damn Trix rabbit never gets lucky, so that can’t be stroking like him. Plus, he is constantly being told that Trix are for kids, yet I know quite a few tricks and ain’t nan one of them for the kids… not even the ones they’ve birthed! Or do they mean fukkin like that pink Energizer rabbit?? Can’t be… ’cause I don’t know anyone who just keeps going an’ going! Beating that drum gets old after about 12-16 minutes, feel me?
Plus how do rabbits do it anyway?? Because of their anatomy, I’m sure they’re doing it missionary. And the damn female rabbit probably ain’t got enough initiative to try and “ride the rodeo.” Then I figured it out…. you know how rabbits do it??
Doggystyle.
Now what the fukk kinda shyt is that?? Are people who have sex all the time said to be sexin like rabbits because they do it doggystyle?? I mean, wouldn’t they then be doing it like dogs?? Or maybe horses, since, ya know, they do it doggystyle to… or rather, horsey-style. Elephants do it that way. So do cows. And antelopes. And moose.
I don’t care what ya’ll think, I like sex, but I’ll be damned if I do it moosey-style! How much azz you think Bullwinkle gets?!? That lil blue squirrel Rocky ain’t giving up shyt!
Maybe they say they fukk like rabbits because rabbits have so many offspring from just one stroke session. I’d like to believe that… ya know why? Because my parents had 4 kids. My sets of grandparents had 8 and 11 kids. I would LOVE to believe that each of them only had sex once because otherwise you have to come to terms that your folks were fukkin like….
…. well, like rabbits.
I also wondered this: what do you call people who smoke a lot of crack?? Crackheads, naturally. Just like people who smoke a lot of weed are called potheads. Since when does the suffix “-head” signify an addiction?? Is someone who smokes a nicotinehead?? Is someone who shops too much a shophead?? Is someone who has diarrhea a shythead?? What about someone who drinks too much Budweiser?? Are they a beerhead?? Or just a redneck?? I mean, the folks who root for the Green Bay Packers in the cheese-loving state of Wisconsin are called cheeseheads, so there must be something to it.
Atlanta must have figured this out long ago, because the poor folks in Bankhead probably love banks…. ya know, for robbing an’ shyt. And I know the next place I’m visiting…. Buckhead! I love me some womens that like to get Buck-nekkid! Speaking of nekkid, since I love big female azzes, does that make me a butthead?? And if so, should I start calling my best friend Beavis?? I mean, I’m willing to bet that chickenheads love chicken. I’m not so sure about eggheads and omelets though.
Well, one thing that the “Video Vixen” confirmed in her book is that a woman who sucks a lot of random dyck is a superhead. And that’s funny because it would seem that she’d be a dyckhead instead, right?? Or is super a synonym for dyck??
Hmmm…. I think so… so does that mean the word superintendant is the person you want to stroke? Ya know, the one for whom the “super” is “intended” for?? Is Superman really Dyckman?? And is a supercilious person one whose dyck is small… or, as the word calls it, silly?? Does supersede really mean sperm?? And instead of rape, could you just charge a person with superimposing??
It makes sense to me…. I mean, after all, my dyck is super.
I could really, really go on… but I think you get the gist that three days in a row of sports at 3 am with foods malnutritioning my azz leads to a Kaviar who thinks some off the wall shyt.
Off the wall.
What the fukk does that mean??
Since when does “off the wall” mean weird?? I mean, parties that are well-attended and a good time are “off the hook” or “off the chain.” Crazy people are “off their rocker.” Something of great magnitude is said to be “off the charts.” Hell, even Al B. Sure told this fine azz girl that she’s “off on your own girl… girl, girl!”
But off the wall?? When did that shyt become synonymous with weird and out of the ordinary???
Ah yes!! How could I forget??
1979.
Off the wall. The album.
No one can deny that Michael Jackson is the off-the-wallest Negro the world hath ever seen.
Im just sayin....
