Must See DVDs!!! They should be on sale now....
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I normally don't pay any attention to folks when they tell me that there a movies that I simply MUST see.
Too many times in life I have watched a movie that was supposed to be all of that simply because somebody said, "Dude, you gotta see such-and-such."
I mean is EVERY movie:
"Amazing!" — Julie Fakeson of the Dayton Daily Express
"Funniest movie ever!" — Somebody Jones of the Fasle Street Journal
Gimme a fuggin break!
Well, I saw such-and-such and such-and-such sucked-and-sucked nuts-and-nuts.
I used to have a list of the worst movies of all time, and then the list got so fuggin long that I just couldn't maintain the shyt anymore.
And you know, I'm an easy movie guy to please!
I can get into just about anything!
I mean, you're talking to a dude who went out and purchased the Master P cinematic classic I'm 'Bout It and watched it so much that the VCR would say, "Gahdayum nygga!! AGAIN?!?!?" everytime I hit rewind.
Yes, bytch. Again......and dont get me started on my PORN collection!
But that movie was funny as hell!!
The non-acting, which normally frustrates the shyt outta me, was actually quite entertaining.
I give this movie two snaps up in gold teeth formation!!
And it gets worse….
I love…. LOVE LOVE LOVE…. me some Little Shop of Horrors!!
That movie is.the.shyt!!!! And you know what?
You are tallking to a dude who fuggin DESPISES musicals!
Like, with a passion.
Fugga Sound of Music… Fugga Moulin Rouge…. Fugga a Fantasia!!!
And no, I'm not talking about the bytch who can sing but can't even compete in a 1st grade Spellin' Ay — rumor is that's what she calls a Spelling Bee….
LOL… whatchu expect?? The bytch can't read!!
Don't hate the messenger — I'm talking about Mickey Mouse!
Yes!! I hate that dayumed movie!! It's a musical and musicals suck.
EXCEPT Little Shop of Horrors!!
"Feed me Seeey-Mour!!! Feed me aaaalllll night loooong!!!"
"C'mooon…. C'mooooon…. it's suppertiiiimmmmeee!"
"Suddenly Seymour!!! Is standing beside me!!!
DUDE!!! Those songs ROCKED!!
I can sing the whole soundtrack up in this muhg!
And you know, I am NO fan of Tisha Campbell — like, at all…. not even a little bit.
To me, that big-lipped, Brandy-eyed, no-hipped, circle-headed can't-actress was the reason that Martin went off the air…. and for that cardinal sin, she shall never be forgiven.
Even her bubble azz doesn't make up for such a transgression!
But you know what, Tisha sang the HELL out of that soundtrack dude.
Her, and some other no-name fat bytch, and that fine azz Pam sang their azzes off throughout that whole movie.
And yes, I said Pam was fine. Yes, Pam from Martin.
What son, what?!?!? Man, Pam could have gotten it six ways from Sunday all up on the set of Martin! Sometimes she would come on screen and I'd be like, "Now see… Martin should stop crackin on Pam and start waxin that azz on the DL."
"Ewwww Kav, you thought Pam was fine!!! EWWWW!!!"
Ask ya man would he hit……
I rest my case Counselor… no further questions…. get this witness outta here.
So, where was I??
Ah yes….I'm easy to please but I hate recommended movies.
But, there are exceptions.
For example, Crash.
I will admit that one of my fraternity brothers convinced me to see this movie, so I did and I'm oh so glad that I did. And also, my ex told me that I just had to see Team America. So I did… and dude, she told me that once I saw this movie, it would change me.
It did.
You simply have not lived until you have seen the best sex scene ever captured on film.
Like, for real….. the sex scene in Team America is a classic.
And it's LONG… and…. it's all done with marionette puppets.
I ain't lyin.
And you know what else…. if you watch it… I swear to you… .I promise you….
You.will.learn.something.new.
Trust me on this one.
So I'm oohhhh so glad I took that recommendation to see that movie.
And you wanna talk about a bangin ' soundtrack…. you ain't ready for it.
So the latest movie that was recommended to me was The 40 Year Old Virgin.
Thank the Lawd I listened! This movie was sooooo good that I bought it!
And Kav-Boogie does not BUY DVDs often.
Word to muthafuggin Limewire.
But it was a special moment.
The movie is HI-LAR-I-OUS!! AND long as fukk!
Nothing pisses me off more than a movie that is funny as hell and like 82 minutes long — well, except musicals.
82 minutes???
That ain't a movie!........That's an afterschool special!
That's one of them weird azz shyts that should only be show on TBS back when they used to start all their shows at 5 minutes after the hour!
*how you gonna start a 30 minute show at 8:05? That's just dumb*
No sir…. 40 y/o Virgin is like 2 and a half hours long.
And the laughs just don't stop.
Even its corny azz Hollywood-everybody-wins ending is funny.
And the premise??? A 40 y/o Virgin??
Wow.
Now, I will be the first to admit that if you made it to 25 and you are still a virgin, not only do I commend you, but I stand up and applaud you.
That shyt is not an easy thing to do! Hell, I only made it 4 months into 14 before I was getting my swivel hips on!!
So when I think about adding another 11 years???? Whew!!
I would have the strongest right arm and the most Aloe-vera-vitamin-E-babysoft right hand known to man....LOL
Fa real fa real… I couldn't do it.
And what's more, I wouldn't WANT to.
But for those that can make it to that age and a lil beyond and do so because of a conviction of only being with one person your whole life….. I really, really admire that.
But 40?? FORTY?????
Ummm…. if you are a virgin at 40… I will laugh at you, just like I laughed at this movie.
If you are a virgin at 40, and your shyt actually works and isn't defective, then umm…. yeah, that shyt is funny… and weird.
Which is why this movie is great!!
Because it proves what I just said to be true!!
And that's always a great thing.
So, I didn't have shit else to talk about, and since Stacey was no help in supplying a topic (LOL), I wrote this post in like 17 minutes with 4 fingers
— no, a nygga can't type…. typing class was like Home Ec… only heffas and gay nyggas took that shit in high school — and this is what came out.
But even amongst this entry of free-flowing-just-start-typing-and-see-what-comes-out…. three things remain true:
1. Musicals suck more azz than Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather. And if you don't know who they are, please buy an In Living Color DVD and catch-da-fukk-up.
2. Pam from Martin could get it… in them little azz skirts and knee high boots.
and
3. Watch/rent/buy 40 year old Virgin… it is worth it! And if you like my blog, then the language and humor won't offend you.
LOL Plus 40 year virgins are great comedy.
and that......my filthy little pidgeons....is.all.
