I've suddenly come to realize one of the worst pains. When you want something, or more importantly - someone, and you can't have it.
I'm 26, hopefully going on 27, and I've only just today come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to be with the one person I'm in love with.
I don't want peoples sympathy, I don't want people to comment on how sorry they are for me but I've had a lot of shit go on in my life. I'm totally aware that there are people out there that have infinately worse lives than me and will continue to have shitty lives but I've had my fair share of crap come my way.
Having said that, I've also had my good times. I've had a steak dinner at the Eiffel Tower. I've rowed a boat in Central Park NY. I've swam with dolphins in Jamaica. I've jumped from a plane at 13,000ft for charity (ironically it was for Cancer Research).
On one hand, I've had things happen to me that I wouldn't wish on anyone. On the other, I've experienced things that most people never will.
But today, I've only just realized that I'm not going to have the one thing that I want.
Love is a double-edged sword. It can give you everything you've ever wanted. It can make you the happiest person in the entire world. You don't even recognise anyone else when you're in love. You want one person and you want to make that person the happiest in the world. If you're in love then the only thing you're interested in is making sure that person is smiling. You want to make sure that the person you're in love with is happy, is content and doesn't want for anything.
However, the second you realize that love can't go anywhere, all is lost. You want things that can't happen. You want to be with someone when you know you can't. The only thing on your mind is the one thing you can't have and it consumes you. You think of ways to be with the one you love and even though you know you can't be there, you imagine a hundred ways to make it so.
Theres a rhetorical question that goes - "What would happen if an unstoppable force met an immovable object?"
The simple answer is love.
Love is the unstoppable force. Love is the immovable object. Love is the result.
