I am so deeply in love with someone that it hurts. Well, its more of an ache than a hurt. I talk to her on YIM and my throat closes up, my eyes water, my nose starts to tingle (you know that feeling you get the very second before you cry?) and I spend an eternity just looking at the screen trying to find the words I need to tell her I love her.
I told her the other day that I was 99% ecstatically happy that we found each other. To date, we've never met, we've never even spoken on the phone (but I'm working on that one lol), in fact, the only communication we've had has been txt based through this site and YIM.
But if you can find near total perfect happiness by only typing then can you even begin to imagine what it would be like to speak to that person? To meet them? To hold them, to kiss them, to stroke their hair as they lay their head on your chest and listen to your heart beat?
Theres a very good (or bad) chance that I'll never get to experience that. I'll almost definately get to speak to her but I'm seriously doubting that I'll get to meet her. I'll never kiss her. I'll never walk through the door, see her and hold her in my arms. And thats the other 1%. I'm in love with a truly beautiful person, in every possible definition of the word, but I can't do anything about it.
We were talking earlier today about whats happening to me and this is a little bit of the conversation....
the_one_the_only_uk: its hard to believe but i'm kind of calm about it. i know its going to happen - don't get me wrong, its a total kick in the crotch - but i'm not scared
the_one_the_only_uk: in fact, sod it, i'd rather BE kicked in the crotch truth be told but you can't have everything right? lol
(the_one_the_only_uk is my YIM name.... yes its egotistical, yes its big headed.... so sue me!)
As any guy who is reading this can confirm - getting a kick to the twig and giggle berries is quite literally, a breath taking experience. Its a pain unlike any other.
But, as I said, I would rather be kicked in the crotch than go through what I'm going through.
I know theres no point in wishing and hoping. Wish in one hand and shit in the other - see which fills up first.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you have someone special in your life then for the love of God, let them know it. After you've read this then phone them if they're away and tell them you love them. If they're with you now then turn to them and tell them that you love them and hug them like you're never letting go.
Why?
Because you can.
