Icarus's blog: "Augurs, Martyrs, and Agnostics"

Much later...

I got back from Topeka, and on my journey I suffered ... about an all day-long panic attack. At lunch I didn't eat anything, announced I felt like I was going to die, several times, and my brother decided to prod me with a fork to help distract me. Just little
tap tap
poke
I unrolled my silverware, raised my fork over my head and jammed it straight into the back of my hand.

...it kinda stuck into the back of my hand, broke the skin a little bit.
But it -was- pretty dull.
My mother said "I worry about you"
"... you're only just now starting?"

Told girl I couldn't see her tonight, and that I wanted to, but got fams stuff.
She said I might not be able to see her til after xmas.

Sucks, but what can I do?

So I told her so.
Said I might not survive without pretty for that long.

Then a friend of mine came by
and ... it just so happens that he knows everyone in town
and has fucked half of em.

Seriously (probably the guys too)

anyway, I get to talkin
I ask him what he knows about girl

"She's really nice, I think she believes in God... so she's not really the sex-type
and she's got a really nice ass!"

At this exact moment, I think, "man, I've known this kid forever, and I was about ready to stab him in the throat"

I tend to get big mean and green around girls I really like.
I'm starting to pick up on this about girl.
I told him I kinda like her, and I've been hanging out with her a lot, and he said her most attractive feature was probably the corruptability.

I think its her hips and earnest, puellile personality.
But the fantastic butt and corruptability are a major plus.

Got my dog back.
Offered some free advice on applying for medicaid.
Played MTG with my brother.
And now we're here.
About ready for porn and bed...
but man, what I could do for this girl right about now...