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Dear Ninja .... my Wicked friends is coming to visit me in 3 weeks and shes scaring the hell out of me. She keeps talking about bringing me gifts of vibrators and buckets ...arriving in a trench coat and clogs... and violating my various delicate parts. Should I just not pick her up at the airport ... or move
~Troubled in Canada
Dear Troubled,
If it's Wicked, you better start prepping your butt now. She may have sworn off using those beads on herself, but she hasn't said she wouldn't substitute your keister for hers. Anal Ease will help, but a butt plug might be your only hope.
Although, I hear the whole chastity belt thing is actually real and there's a site out there that sells them. Rush shipping perhaps? If you do that, though, she's going to want to shove those beads somewhere, and I don't think they cover the hole you are seeking to protect. A chastity belt and a Hannibal mask would cover 2 out of 3 though!
If all else fails, there is always the weirdos that post on craigslist. I'm sure you can find one into multiple foreign objects shoved deep into no-no places. If there's not one posting looking for it, you can always post an add looking for one. If she's busy stuffing them, she might forget to violate your orifices. A plus side to that, you can also find out who the hell to avoid when she goes home. Cause let's face it, if they answer your add for that, that ain't the guy or girl you want to run into in the store.
Good luck and happy hunting!
