Icarus's blog: "Augurs, Martyrs, and Agnostics"

I'm somewhere between the paradoxical dream of unending happy thoughts

twisted grins and the rank and file march of work, worship, mediocre, and being

and an eternity of that terrifying gap of nothing between sleep and wake

that jolt of oblivion...

That's the horror you don't know.

The one you don't hear about in dime novels and survivor accounts.

There's no dark tunnel toward a light.

You're simply jerked from one state to another without your will, without your intervention. It simply does.

It simply is, without malice, or awareness.

I've felt that brief eternity now, some dozen times.

The hole

the edge of my understanding colliding with my humanity

my being

my not

seems to only get wider.

And the call of the void only seems to get louder.

It is not to stumble

to fall

to be dragged

but rather it is to jump.

Perhaps I'm waiting to fill that void

though I know it to only want for one thing.