10 Ways to Close the Intimacy Gap in a Long Distance Relationship
by Jennifer Good
Intimacy is a key survival ingredient in a long distance relationship. Without that feeling of connectedness, doubts and dissatisfaction start to emerge and can eventually lead to serious problems. Due to this, it's even more important for couples in long distance relationships to find ways of keeping that feeling of togetherness. Fortunately, we're here to help!
Below are 10 ways to help you close the intimacy gap in your relationship. The main goal in presenting these ideas is to help you and your partner feel more involved in each other's daily lives. You may not actually be there, but you can definitely make them feel like you're a part of what's going on!
1. VOICE MEMOS
Nothing can bridge the gap like the sound of your partner's voice. Voice memos are one of the easiest and cost effective ways to achieve this. You can send your partner a voice memo key chain with the words "I love you" on it. You can get a voice memo photo frame and record "thinking of you always" on it. You can get a personal recorder and just say random thoughts about your day to your partner and send it to them at the end of the week. Many stuffed animal companies offer voice recordings inside of the toy. You could say different recordings such as, good night, sweet dreams, good morning, I love you, and so on. Today's market has so many products available that your options are only limited by your creativeness.
2. DAILY JOURNAL/BLOG
Chances are you're pretty Internet savvy if you are in a long distance relationship. If you are, sign up for a free blog somewhere and send your partner the username and password. Use this tool as a way to frequently communicate with each other about your daily life and thoughts. If you don't have access to a blog, write a little something about your day each night. At the end of the week, mail your partner the letters.
3. WEB CAM DATES
When you're missing your partner's touch, a web cam date can be the closest remedy available. Frequently arrange a set time for these dates. Take turns planning on what you'll talk about or do. Some couples have used these as an opportunity to share a romantic candlelit dinner, watch a movie together or even play games such as Battleship.
4. SHARE MOMENTS
Once a day, stop and do the same thing at the exact same time. You could gaze at the stars, say a little prayer for your partner, send an instant message or take the time to write to each other. Just knowing that you are doing the same thing, at the same exact moment as your partner, can do wonders towards increasing your intimacy.
5. LET IT GROW
A plant is often referenced as a symbol of a growing relationship. Use this symbol in your romance by sending each other a plant to take care of. As the plant grows, press leaves or flowers to send to each other in your mailings. When the long distance aspect of your relationship ends, plant them side by side at your new dwelling.
6. SCRAPBOOK OF OUR RELATIONSHIP
Often helps to have something to look back on while we are apart. A scrapbook or photo album is a great way to do this. Whenever you are together take LOTS of pictures. After you separate again collect the pictures and put them in an album. Write little notes about how you were feeling during the certain times the photographs were taken and tuck them under or next to the photograph. Make two copies and send one to your partner. Whenever you are feeling lonely, take out your book and remember all the fun times you've had together.
7. JOURNAL OF LOVE LETTERS
Couples in long distance relationships are usually faced with more episodes of doubt than the typical relationship. To help counter this, make sure you are both sending letters to each other, even if by e-mail. Every so often, compile your communications and put them in a journal format. If you can, send your partner a copy of the journal as well. Now, whenever those feelings of doubt creep in, make a date with your journal and spend some time reflecting over how well you've have made it so far.
8. MAKE IT PERSONAL
Send your partner an item of clothing or something personal that they can see or wear daily. It should be something that you use frequently that will instantly remind them of you. Sometimes it's the littlest things that can make everything feel all right.
9. FRAMED PICTURES
There's nothing like seeing your partner's beautiful face daily. Let your face be the first thing they see each morning and the last each night. Make an effort to send framed pictures to your partner whenever possible. I'd try for a new one each month. You can make it more creative as well by having each picture reflect something about each month. For example, in December have a picture taken with Santa or in the snow. You can also use each month as an opportunity to share a moment in your life. Take a picture of you doing something you do every day. Each month pick a new daily task to take a picture of.
10. SCENT OF LOVE
One of the most effective ways to trigger an emotion is through the use of scent. When sending something to your partner, spray a bit of your cologne or perfume on it. You can spray things like a pillowcase, a stuffed toy, love letters or a piece of clothing.
Remember, while long distance relationships aren't easy, they can be the most rewarding. The time and effort you take to cultivate your intimacy now WILL transfer over into your future time together. The main goal here is to make each other feel like you are connected and involved in each other's daily life. It is the number one success tip of any long distance relationship. If you can achieve this, you will be on the right path to a very successful long-term romance.
