Ninja's blog: "Ask the Ninja"

Submission by Bitchcake

Dear Ninja:

What would be the most effective way to rid one's self of a clingy and pathetic bitch that has no real life of her own and must leach off of others?

Dear Bitchcake:

People like this are hard to shake off, but it is possible. It takes careful non-planning because they actually self-destruct. When they start to slip up (like they ALWAYS do), have someone on your side available to screen shot some not-so-lovely evidence on her that you can quietly, or publicly, use to humiliate her into going back into the cave she crawled out of.

If this fails, a pre-paid throw away cell phone and her local power company's phone number could be used to indirectly cause a power outage.