Ragdoll's blog: "good stuff"

Copper colored braids hung to each side of her head waving back and forth as she skated that August Sunday morning.The air was cool and humid, a mist hung in the air that was refreshing. It served to let her know she could get more out of this if she would just keep going, not give in to fatigue and the jello sensations weighing in on her thighs.

It was a good workout for her. She was able to sort out some of the turmoil she had been going thru, but not enough to feel better.

Keep pushing, keep going...She had always been the strong one. It was the Law..her duty to the world, to her family.

The girl who had more brains going for her than anything else. Not exactly a beauty queen like her mama was. But not hard on the eyes by no means. The girl who would carry the weights of the world on her shoulders, and try to find answers and reasons to make those around her smile and feel safe and loved. How incredibly odd and almost unfair she found herself alone with all these thoughts and burdens swirling in her head. She thought she had built loving relationships around her, but lately she had begun to wonder about the onesidedness of some things. She had always believed that you give what you need and it will come back round to you, if you were open and honest and real, it would beget the same. her whole core value system was unraveling inside. she doubted who and what she was in this earth for the first time in many many years.Was she just invisible unless needed? Just a passing thought? A means to an end? the butt of cruel jokes? Perhaps...and the sinking feeling of utter uselessness enshrouded her until she could not contain the tears any longer.

She did not see the tree limb broken in front of her on the bikepath and caught it square on with her skates. Flipping over it she came down with a crash that riveted her entire body with pain. "Fuck" she cried out. Jesus Fucking Christ! As she lie there unable to move, she just felt the world implode in her mind and body. It was a feeling she hadnt even experienced in Derby as a rookie when bones would break. This was far worse, and altho nothing seemed out of place physically she wondered if Evil Knieval ever felt this way! She managed to get up, feeling like shed been kicked in the lungs until no oxygen was left. Anger seethed thru her like a rivers in a flash flood. She looked up at the heavens and Cursed God for his cruel sense of humor. "What The Fuck Do You Want With Me GOD?" I cant take too much fucking more!!!!