having a really rough time tonight. my uncle who was just 2 years older than I passed away yesterday morning. He died of a possible overdose of muscle relaxers. I feel angry and hurt. He has a 5 year old daughter and a baby boy who turns a year old in less than a week. I feel like no matter what I said to him would have stopped his drug problem. I am pissed off because he and I fought sooo much about him taking the pills like he did. He wasn't like an uncle to me. He was more like a brother. I don't know how I am supposed to feel but feeling angry just doesn't seem like it matters so why do I feel this way? Why can't I just cry and be over it? I miss the way he used to come into my bedroom and bug me until I flipped and got pissed off then how he would bug me telling me that he loves me until I couldn't be mad anymore. I miss how he rubbed my pregnant belly talkin to my son telling him how he couldn't wait to meet him. I am so glad my son got to meet him at least. He was such a great hearted person but those FUCKING PILLS took my uncle. Why can't people see that they are ruining their lives? He was such an amazing person and a great father to his children. His fiancee is having such a hard time and I can't even help her out. I just want to grieve like I am supposed to.. but how does a person really grieve? what is wrong with me?