A young virgin marries a Greek man and before the wedding her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day, but that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to.
Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her to turn over one night and she says, "
No, my father said I don't have to do this." Her husband says "OK, that's fine by me, but I thought you wanted children."
==========
Three friends die in a car accident, and upon their arrival to heaven, they are all asked one question "When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning upon you,
what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first man says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second man says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last man replies: "I would like to hear them say: 'LOOK! HE'S MOVING!'"
==========
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, a good cook, and great in bed. But the law allows
only one wife.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder,
lightning, tornados and hail.
One woman's hobby is usually another woman's hubby.
The easiest way to make your old car run better is to
check the prices of a new car.
It's what people don't know about each other that makes
them such good friends.
If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, best get one
who knows the judge.
A man owes his success to his first wife and his second
wife to his success.
=========
Another new illness to watch out for!
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that
she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming into work today."
==============
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
Great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked Her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
All the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were Killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of
The game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the Quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents.
=========
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!"
He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.
The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"
The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."
===========
WHOEVER IS SENDING:
1, VULGAR
2. SEXIST
3. TRASHY
4. UNCOUTH
5. DISGUSTING
6. RAUNCHY
7. FILTHY
8. NASTY
9. VILE
PLEASE KEEP ME ON YOU MAILING LIST.
THANKS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION....
