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damn damn damn! My ex gf and i broke up and remained friends. Im kinda unsure of the reason but it was an easy way out causee then i thought that i didn't want a girlfriend anymore. I do recall her saying something about her bestfriend that happens to be a guy. i didn't really pay to much attention cause i was trying to figure out how to get out of it. It's not that i didn't like her alot it's just that i could feel that it wasn't going to workout. Anyways i've been out with other girls and have met a couple new ones but i keep thinking about her and i find myself texting her when im with others which is totally fine cause we did remain friends. Last night she sends me a text telling me about how much it hurts her to tell me that her and her best friends are officially a couple. I was partially floored,i had began to think the reason that i was constantly thinking about her was because it was meant to be. I didn't wanna make things harder for her so i ujust played it cool and was like "Congrats!" and "Don't worry about me.". Well damn! I feel miserable for all the times iwas off partying when she wanted me to be with her..She always told mee that that best friend had a crush on her but i wasn't worried about it cause she had a crush on me. DAMN!!!! Im trying to keep it together as so i don't end up doing somethign stupid like drinking for three weeks straight or moving out of the country but honestly i so want to or even worse try to jump into another relationship while still bandaging the wounds from this one. I can't be mad at her cause she does deserve better but im just bombed she found it. the fact that it's her best friend makes it even worse. I don't know why but i feel like a pawn, as if the whole thing was some sorta trick to force that guy into taking the next step. I would like to think that she wouldn't be capapble of that but my brain tells me that's naive to think that a person wouldn't especiallyafter some of the things that i have seen people do to others...wow! i feel alot less destructive now...:)
