Funny thing about experiences, they basically create who you are....
So, when friends tell me I need to get a life, or find someone to share my life with, I give them the basic answers and then change the subject.
Of course, I only have maybe five true face to face friends. I know a lot of people online, but have made no contact with them in the real world... nor am I in a rush to do so.
You see, to find someone to be involved with, you have to be willing to go somewhere that you can actually meet people, which is something that scares the crap out of me.
My life consists of two acres, doctors offices, the shrink, and the occasional sedated trip to Walmart. When I say sedated, I mean sedated, as in the lights are on, but aint no one home. Sometimes I go to the very UNpopular stores that have these old fashioned things referred to as books, where I rarely see more than 10 people in the store.
You see, I suffer from a social anxiaty disorder, basically once outside my comfort zone, I am not very functional.
Therefore, meeting people is damn near impossible.
Of course, someone is sure to say, invite them to your home....
Well, in today's world, aint no way any lady is gonna chance going to a place outside the city limits to meet some guy for the first time. Simple social paranoa brought on by the society we live in. Serial Killers, rapists, freaks of every type hit the news at least once a week, so this creates an atmosphere of distrust.
It is therefore totally impractable for someone to tell me I need to meet someone. If I met em in public, I would be a basic tranqed zombie, and they sure wont come to me.
So, while everyone may mean well when they tell me to find someone, you really have to understand where I am coming from. After being in some really bad places around the globe, as well as working in 'safe' enviroments here in the states, my brain is pretty much scrambled.
