Fubar Blog Posts 2

Turning 30
Alright friends.. Here it is.. My last yearly review. What a year it's been... So many things to talk about. I started this Year off in Moline, Illinois.. Yeah.. Moline (one quarter of the Quad Cities).. Right on the Illinois/ Iowa Border. But how did you get there from Maryland Cornell? Glad you asked.. I fell in love. That's it. I met someone that reminded me of no one else in the world. She had my heart and soul.. I only wish that everyone knows what that feel like at least once. I decided without hesitation to pack up everything I owned and leave some of it and follow my heart. The best decison I ever made.. She was more than I could have ever dreamed.. Which led me to ask for her hand in marriage.. I will not go into great detail about it but I made that choice too fast for us and it cost us the entire relationship. After we broke up, I had a few wild days, but the point of engagement is to start to give up days like that, there I was back in the saddle. I did meet someone else th

Turning 40/420/and Route 440.
Yea. So last night I turned 40. I had the traditional Birthday Dinner with the Folks (the parents not the gang). It was good….even got a wee bit tipsy on vino. I came home and did the Fu thing for a bit….whatever that entails. Looked at assorted nonsense on line, btw, for me Synths – PORN! ;) A friend I shall call Rui, heck that is his name messaged me and asked me what am I going to do for my birthday? I told him probably nothing, just some hot n heavy Nintendo DS action. Nothing gets me worked up than a good game of Tetris. A couple of ideas were bandied about and we decided to goto my nemesis of nightclubs..Qxt’s. Of course Eric wanted to go as well but I had to pick him up (that’s code for Eric wants to get utterly and completely mind f*cked) and I was again relegated to the designated driver status. So the Honda is gassed up and I’m on my way to Herr Eric’s lair. Apparently nothing has changed in his apartment since the last time I was there (which has be

Turning Point
->♫Sha...: Yup.. I will be awaiting... I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you... Jedi Maste...: definitely part of tomorrows conversation....but im off for tehe night...ill text you when im up and free, ok? ->♫Sha...: That's not true.. you and I coincide, and we will be each other's sanity...someday... Jedi Maste...: fuck,me neither.....Only the force and i coincide with each other...The force is all.. ->♫Sha...: I didn't know that sanity and you ever went together Jedi Maste...: grasp, and fall, argue and go forward, steady, then swung back, never knowing when one will fall off..so, as a pendulum, it coudl very well benefit physicality of everyone involved, as well as sanity Jedi Maste...: its liek trying to balance onesself on a pendulum made of solid ice.... ->♫Sha...: I'm very interested to hear about the turning point you speak of, regardless of if it's the kind of turning point that willl benefit me in the future or not, because, as you

Turn Cents Into Dollars!!!
If you don't mind...sign up free at Yuwie too..we could chat there as well. Either love it or ditch it after checking it out...you turn cents into dollars over time instead of buying pretend beers here...lol. http://url.sotnworld.com/?thefuturesite

Turn To Hate
This one was just something I had in my head. Guess I was being indecisive about things in my life. This is the result. Dream, a passion that burns you name Dig deep and try to refrain From the truth you have no name A story burns in your eyes I have compassion for you pain Grasp, a word that can explain Find the one way to say The feeling that stir inside You can't always be right In due time you will know why You know, you should go But here wait Drag out the reasons As your heart burns warm and turns to hate Bash, all those haters that try to play When you walk around in dismay Drag those feelings inside Cover them and disguise No better time to drive Ever think you can make a try Inside you know it's not right Visions that loomed in your head Imagination will turn to regret You know, you can't go Just stay here Oh no, you won't go But here wait Drag out the reasons As your heart burns warm and turns to hate Oh no, you can't go

A Turning Point
Why are some of us so self tortured? Why is the guilt and conscience like a judgment from God from within? True we are multidimensional beings with a Soul.....A Soul? is that it? I believe we couldn't live without that force from within. But then I question myself why this doesn't create more empathy and understanding in some. Maybe its because we as a group have painted ourselves into a cynical little corner ...... Now we live a terribly incomplete realism. There is no belief of the Soul in that corner......yet we have one. Look within because the Soul lives beyond beliefs ...and to me thats the beauty of it. With it you can cross that room and get out of your predicament. It's never as hard as we belived. You can cross any floor no matter how long it may have taken to paint. The paint is made of tears, blood, sweat, insecurities and lonelyness. Most can't see what has been painted because they are busy trying to survive. With the Soul you can find your way out of the c

Turning Of The Raido
i too turn off the raido and i dont know why what will i do because u left me i cried can u see me i cried can u hear me i am trying to reach u, but all i here from u is cring you saying u hate me i love u but when i try to tell u all i here from u is u dont care anymore all u say is no u dont want me so now my love i too i'm turning on the raido asking for a love song for u

Turn On
The Sexual Turn On TestMy Result: PersonalityPeople who get most turned on by a person's personality are aroused by the emotional or mental connection they share with that person.What are you?http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=turnonfogt&c=50652

Turning Myself Inside Out.
After a night of excess of many "things"...i sit here and realize that no matter how hard i try, im going to bury myself one way or another..As i put it to my mother the other nite on the phone , with everything going on with my health...i might as well go out balls to the wall!...as they say ..last born first dead!...or maybe thats just what i say. Hey at least i had fun, The way i see it now is this...im gonna enjoy every flippen moment i have left..if its for another 20 years or 1 year...fuck it...

Turn A Jaundiced Eye
focus with your third eye vision, blurred and vibrant. snap, crack and turn... find what's been left behind to fester. put it in your mouth... don't spit. slick with envy, and bitter....crunchy. don't choke....just digest it... take it all in, love. Partake of what you have created. It's only fair.

Turned Them Down
Ive had many offers Turned them all down Because Im with you Dont want to lose you Some I would have taken If it werent for you But continue to say no Not wanting to hurt you Wanting to prove my love Prove Im not giving up Im not letting you go Not without a fight I love you My daughter has attached herself to you You promised to be around So you need to trust me If I wnted another I could have But I tuned them down

Turning Point
Turning point Your troubles can sometimes be your greatest blessings. Because those troubles will hound you relentlessly until you make valuable improvements.Your troubles help you to see and understand your weaknesses. And that enables you to start transforming those weaknesses into strengths.The best way to respond to trouble is not to curse it, but to do it one better. See each challenge as an opportunity to raise yourself to a higher level.As with everything else, your troubles are what you make of them. You can choose to make each one a turning point to a more positive and fulfilled life.Many of history's greatest accomplishments were responses to terribly difficult problems. Many of your own greatest advances have been in response to challenging situations.Choose to find the positive possibilities in everything that comes your way. And no problems will ever be able to hold you back.-- Ralph Marston

Turn Around
turn around Current mood: guilty Category: Writing and Poetry why didn't i turn around that night? i left your side and was driving down the road when the awful thought hit me. i pushed it away because it was to heartbreaking and awful to even imagine being true. it's true though. that awful painful thing came true. many years later. now i want to be back in that car, and turn around. turn around and kiss you, tell you i love you. to hold you one last time and say goodbye. sometimes i think maybe you knew that night to, the way you held me, that we would never see each other again. i miss you right now, which is why i'm writing this i guess. i'm wishing i could just turn around, not everything, but turn a few things around. wishing you could turn around and see life really was worth living. wishing that one day you would be in a store and turn around and there i would be, home for a visit not expecting to see you. the last few times i was ho

Turning 38 This Year
So this year I turn 38...Jesus H. Crimney...Where did the time go???? I thought by this time in my life I would be Living on a beach in Austrailia..NOT... All year my co workers have been teasing me about the gray hair just showing up on my head and beard. I have taken it and laughed with them. I dont really mind. I think it adds distinction and makes me look a bit more refined and professional? Hmmmm I dunno you tell me? Do I feel 38 Hell No I still fell Late 20's..Hell I spent 15 years in the Marine Corps Training and keeping in shape and I got out took a short vacation from keeping in shape and the next thing you know is its 7 yrs later..LOL..Didnt mean to take that long of a break. I still can run 3 miles if I need to. I used to run it in 17:30 Flat on a regular basis and could hit 16:45 on a good day. Now I know I cant do that any more but when I am running I feel like I am hauling ass..(And trust me my ass needs to be hauled)...LOL..I still get up early and go to

Turning Tricks....oh Hell
TURNING TRICKS It was the usual scene in the City's Night Court, the police had rounded up the usual collection of street walkers and brought them before the judge; three stood before him, all arrested on the same corner. He asked the first lady what she had to say for herself. The woman was irate, "I don't know what all this is about your honor. I'm a college student doing research for a term paper." The judge sighed and said, "Well, Miss, I would have thought you'd done enough research by now. My computer says you have two prior convictions. Thirty days and $250 fine." He then turned to the second lady and requested her to testify. The woman began crying softly and said, "Judge, I am just a housewife out getting a pack of cigarettes for my husband. I have no idea why I was arrested." This time, the Judge shook his head and said, "Well, young lady, the officer tells me that he saw you hand a stack of bills along with the cigarettes to your 'husband' in his new Cadi

Turn On's And Turn Off's
Ok here goes......... -Turn Ons- 1. Thick/chubby girls 2. light color eyes 3. White girls lol 4. Honesty 5. Open about your feelings 6. Kinda clingy... I know most guys don't like it but I do 7. Short finger/toe nails, but a big polish fan either 8. Well pedicured feet 9. Shoulder length hair or longer 10. Curves 11. Redheads are a plus but not needed 12. Good smelling hair 13. Speaking of hair... I like some hair "down there" lol 14. Good kisser 15. Good sex drive. I don't want a nun lol Adventureist sex is a plus 16. A girl that knows what she wants 17. Caring and loving nature 18. A girl that can sit down and watch the Simpsons with me 19. Biting. I like nibbling and a little sucking on a girls neck 20. A girl that is content staying at the house lounging around 21. Realistic girls. Your not a princess. Everything and everyone isn't perfect 22. A girl I can take to mom and dad 23. A chubby girl that likes a ch

Turning Of The Pages.
One Chapter has come to a close. Then another chapter has began. For the ones that know me and know everything that has been transpiring over the last year, I hope this helps clear up the foggy parts. For those who don't yet know me, I hope this catches some interest. We all have changes to go through with our lives. We all have someone or many people that capture our hearts and prove to be great additions into our lives with their friendship, laughter, tears, love and support. I don't have any regrets and I love every moment and opportunity that I have been given. I love everyone I have come in contact with. My daughter is my reason for wanting to become a better person. No wrong paths for me, just short cuts or scenic routes, and an occasional picture map. I'm a brunette that pays for the blonde and sometimes needs the $20 dollars worth of learning curves. This past year on fubar has been a wonderful, frustrating puzzle. I have found pieces that have fit together and pieces th

Turning The On And Off Buttons!
I just think its time to let go since basically,you have been playing with my feelings and my emotions. What happened if I may ask? One min we were crushes and talking about fu marriage and then I see a Love Story on another woman's page? I am stronger then this bull crap that's for sure. I am sick of the other chick always coming to my page and being super damn nosy with my blogs,pictures,stashes, but does nothing. I am way better then she is and I feel I will complete this to an end of this blog right now. There is an on and off button to the computer life world and I am doing it now.

The Turn
lost in this place lost in this pain ireally dont know what i think any more when i look back in see the pepole i hurt i feel all thair pain and it hits me at once shes gone and shes gone and shes gone no one stays so i just sit and wonder but that is when i feel all the hurt i cousd i just dont know if i can do this anymore i see the outside from my window but when i go outside it looks different how why when did everything change it was good then it turnd bad real fast is this how it is sopose to be is this it for me so i walk on and push foward but i think i took the wrong turn as i think i drop my head down in guilt weak is how my soul was built

Turn Up The Heat-jessica Conant-park
Turn Up the Heat by Jessica Conant-Park and Susan Conant Plot Summary: Murder's on the menu at Simmer, a popular Boston restaurant, in the third saucy cozy to feature gourmet girl Chloe Parker from daughter-and-mother writing team Conant-Park and Conant (after 2007's Simmer Down). When Leandra, a Simmer server, turns up strangled with her own apron strings in a seafood delivery truck belonging to Owen, the fiancé of Chloe's best friend, Adrianna, there are plenty of suspects. Most of the restaurant's staff appear to have despised the petite blonde, who happened to be the girlfriend of Simmer's owner, but did they hate Leandra enough to kill her? Chloe discovers Owen's been lying to Adrianna about something important, and Simmer employees and some of their significant others have a penchant for stealing. The snooping foodie dives deeper into danger as she decides to check out that delivery truck one more time. The authors serve up another delectable dish of detection. My comments:

Turning Points
Ya know when you reach that first turning point in your life where you wonder if it really doesn't get any better? I am so there. I have just recently taken a look at my life and wondered... What else is there? With the economy going down the toilet and absolutely no freaking jobs available anywhere, what the hell am I going to do for the rest of my life? I have no idea, and then you wait a few years and you get your "groove" back and things are going good. Then you hit like 30. And life as you know it has ended. You wake up, eat, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed and then do it all over again. For another 15 years. Then your 45, then you don't know what the hell you are doing. You are old and decrepid and senile. Hahaha. Then you enter the retirement stage of your life... And if you were smart and started saving when you were young up until the day you quit working you will probably be set for the rest of your miserable life on this miserable earth. But if you were stupid and didn

Turning 50
Wow, its finally here, on Thursday Aug 21, I turned 50. I am amazed at the fact that I made it this far and I am truly excite about being 50. I feel my journey to get here has been a wonderful learning experience. I have had trials and tribulations as many do but I have tried to look at each experience as a learning tool that has made me the person I am. Although I will be 50, I know my learning is not done and I am looking forward to continuing the journey in this life. I hope the path I take from here will bring new and positive people in my life and I will make new friends along the way. As I end my blog today, I leave with this thought. I only have control over today, Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has yet to arrive. So I will work on making today the best day I can have. Until next time, May you have peace in your life so love can fill your soul. Gg

Turning Over A New Leaf
I have come to the realization that I need to get motivated with my life. I've done the single life long enough. I am ready to jump back into the pool. But it will be a challenge. For the simple fact that I am going to be picky. I'm going to find a woman. ( not a girl) Somebody with a head on their shoulders. Somebody with my interests. Hopefully somebody that can accept me for who I am. And for something that I am not. Recent women that i have been with. Haven't even been close. Good people but when it comes to being with me. Was never going to work. I am a redneck man, with a country state of mind. I don't want no city girl with a attitude problem. Somebody who thinks they are better than everybody else. Seems simple to think that it will be easy. But one thing i have learned. If you want something done right you have to do it yourself. Larry Jr

Turn Toward Peace
Turn toward peace Peace is not a circumstance. Peace is a feeling, a powerful, wonderful and desirable feeling. Peace does not depend on any particular set of conditions. It can be any place, at any time. Remember how peace feels. And by so remembering, you make yourself available to peace. Peace is what remains when you've surrendered your ego and your fears. Peace is always there, patiently waiting for you to turn your awareness toward it. The same part of you that longs for peace is the part of you that experiences peace. It is not complicated and is as close as your next thought. Think lovingly of how peace feels to you. And truly be at peace. -- Ralph Marston

Turn The Page
Well, I am officially on a new page, and it is quickly starting to be filled in. In the past month, I have done a lot. I flew back stateside, drank too much, ate too much, and tried to have fun. I found that my Ex-Spousal Unit To Be and I can have a conversation, but also that we are going to end our marriage after 8 years. I drove across country, spent time with mom, and then my dad. Now I am sitting in a Motel 6 in Killeen, TX and just waiting on my paycheck to hit so I can go spend FAR too much money to get a place to live. Then I'll probably drive back up to Oklahoma, get some furniture from my house in Arkansas, from my mom, and some from my dad. I did find a nice place to live, and under my BAH. I paid my application fee to get the house, and then stopped and grabbed me a Sonic cheeseburger, tater tots, and then a new gas cap for my truck. (check engine light had been on for a year and the gas cap took care of it.) While I was eating and driving, my cell phone r

The Turning
Pull of the blood red moon I lay in bed released and calm The darkness enveloping me The calling whispers pulling at my desire Til a spark then flame Turn into a fire I toss and turn as pleasure peaks As the hunger then awakens and starts to seek I awake shaken The darkness of the night calls I struggle to get out of bed and fall Tears course down my cheeks for i am just to weak My head pulls back of its own accord All i can think is not yet Please lord! My eyes flash as the hunger and craving unleash Pain explodes through my mind FANGS bared and looking for just one weak soul in the masses ~midnight wolf~

Turn Me On 'mr. Deadman'
fucking love this song. The Union Underground -- Turn me On 'Mr. DeadMan' Penetrate, Penetrate all the simple minds they adore what a bore how they stand in line. Dilate, Dilate what's my drug of choice? it's okay, when they pay they pay they say I got the voice. Look at this the motherfucker is a millionaire realize its a mask that you wear Violate violate what a simple plan Turn me on turn me on mr. deadman Yeah I want it I need it to make a million Ya I love it a fuckin' rockstar Penetrate, Penetrate all the simple minds they adore what a bore how they stand in line. Dilate, Dilate what's my drug of choice? it's okay, when they pay they pay they say I got the voice. Look at this the little faggot is a millionaire realize its a mask that you wear Violate violate such a simple plan Turn me on turn me on mr. deadman Yeah I want it I need it to make a million Ya I love it a fuckin' rockstar Penetrate, Penetrate all the simple mi

Turn Your Lights Down Low
Turn your lights down low And pull your window curtains; Oh, let Jah moon come shining in - Into our life again, Sayin': ooh, it's been a long, long (long, long, long, long) time; I kept this message for you, girl, But it seems I was never on time; Still I wanna get through to you, girlie, On time - on time. I want to give you some love (good, good lovin'); I want to give you some good, good lovin' (good, good lovin'). Oh, I - oh, I - oh, I, Say, I want to give you some good, good lovin' (good, good lovin'): Turn your lights down low; Never try to resist, oh no! Oh, let my love come tumbling in - Into our life again, Sayin': ooh, I love ya! And I want you to know right now, I love ya! And I want you to know right now, 'Cause I - that I - I want to give you some love, oh-ooh! I want to give you some good, good lovin'; Oh, I - I want to give you some love; Sayin': I want to give you some good, good lovin': Turn your lights down low, wo-oh! Never - never try to

"turn Around"
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.' The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: 'What's wrong with you?' In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?' The big dude says: 'I saw your look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks. I'm 7 feet tall. I weigh 350 pounds. I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.' The small guy says: 'Turner Brown. Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around.'

Turn Me On
Turn Me On Well after life discussions about what does and does not turn me on I figured the easiest way to address this fact would be thorugh my writings. I am sure that many do not want to hear it or read it so my suggestion to you is to skip it, move on. I am by no means a shallow person, so looks and looks alone do not make someone attractive to me, nor do they make a person whole or complete. There are so many other qualities and features which must be present. It is true that the inner qualities are the best, but sometimes these do not always come out until after you get to know someone. This is why there must be some sort of physical attraction to the opposite sex. You honestly do not want to go through life with someone that in the back of your head you are repulsed by, even though they may have other qualities which you admire and find soothing to you. So we will start with the phsyical qualities. Like I said anyone who has spent any amount of time near me or t

Turn Me On : Part 2
Turn me on Part 2 Turn Me On Again In the aftermath of my blog "Turn Me On" it seems that all I get now are replies and lil inuendos indicating that someone is not my 'type' simply because they are not a BHM ( term coined by a friend of mine meaning bald headed man). This is simply not true. What this tells me is that while I received many comments, posting, and messages in regards to this blog entry, that the entire concept was not grapsed. Perhaps a reiteration is in order. Not of the physical attributes, because I am thinking those are etched in the mind of all who read, or all who have talked about my blog since then, but of the emotional and more stable qualities that really turn me on and keep me. While it is true that physical qualities are what attracts me to someone, it does not limit only that certain class of people to those I find attractive. I find men of all hair styles( well I am thinking the afro wearing mullet hugging jerry curl dripping comb over maybe ou

Turning Inside Out
As the rain is pouring the wind is on display The darkened clouds and sky exist in everyway It's when the evil roams day and night There is no sign of sunlight The ground is wet and cold outside Where nature and the living and dead often reside Snow should be on the horizon, where is this mess? Ice is forming as the temps decline, statistics even confess The moon is out and roams in the sky Where many people often look for questions and answers of why? Is it crying, whinning or just wonder of the state of mind Dig deep enough be suprised of what there is to find The end of the day is only a few minutes away What happened?, what was good and bad? just many shades of gray Days and weeks seem longer, the appetite of destruction is stronger Can the mind and self control hold on much longer? The winter season, its that time of year Scary things happen in many ways causing soo many to fear Shall we give a toast to the living and a toast of who has past For ones who

Turn In Your Grave
TURN IN YOUR GRAVE As I come at your door I'll have you scream for more I'll make you run and bleed But when I leave you will fucking scream Your death is near Taken by the force of me you'll never be set free I'll make you turn and die Buried to lie forever my soul is much too clever I'll torment you endlessly Darkness surrounds you there is no escape As I torture you your mind is filled with hate But the forces of evil you are my slave Turn in your grave I am on an endless search trying to escape the church Look through my evil eyes you'll see through all lies Be one with my soul fear my present state or it will be too late I'll make you run and bleed Buried to lie forever my soul is too clever Torment you in fire

Turning Forty
Hey everyone! So this morning I woke up 40! I don't feel any different but it's one helluva milestone. 22 years I might not have had if I had died in that accident. I feel pretty good today and am considering letting my hair go gray naturally instead of continuing to color it to hide all the gray. It's my believe that I went gray prematurely because of anesthesia from surgeries and that is why I am so white haired on the temples and sides. I don't really mind it much, but I asked my mom and she said I should keep coloring it. So I put it to you, does hair color really affect your opninion of someone? If so why? I am glad heavymetalmama turned me onto fubar, it's really awesome here! :D Merry Christmas everyone! :D

Turn My Black Roses Red...
Turn My Black Roses Red Her skin is as white as the snow, softer than silk. Glowing hazel eyes reach into the depths of your soul, taking the breath of life away from you. Her beauty is so strong that you cannot escape, forever captive. Her dark loving embrace shadows all that harms you. The warmth of her soul keeps you from fading away into the cold of the night. Her lips stained red waiting for a dark soul to awaken her. Her frozen hands holding black roses wait, wish and want someone to make her black heart beat once again. She only asks for one thing... Will you be the dark soul that turns my black roses red.

Turn Aside, And See This Great Sight
“Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.” The third chapter of Exodus opens with Moses foreshadowing what he would eventually do leading the children of Israel to freedom from slavery in Egypt. At this time, though, the call of God is the furthest thing from Moses’ mind; from a land where he’s a fugitive for murder, he’s settled into the routine of being a shepherd and even married into the family of the priest of Midian and giving birth to his son and heir. Moses was probably not any more eager to upset his life’s status quo than we are, especially after the decades that elapsed between chapters two and three. “And the angel of the LORD appeared unto [Moses] in a flame out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.” Verse two brings us to the episode of Moses’ encounter wi

Turn The Other Way.. Avenged Sevenfold
Got my ticket already! Yay! Slit my wrists, take away the pain. Slit my throat, there's no one to blame. Lost in the fields of confusion. Restless nights, they're not far away. Away, what. I came here for something and I'm not turning back. Strong piece of mind but you still hold my keys. Keeping my fate deep within your threshold. Petty inconvenience but it means the world to me. You have the power. To set me free. Caught in your grasp, how? Just let me be. Give me control out. Out of these depths. A fiery hell. I pray for death. I've been the wrong one time and time again. Now I'm on my knees forgive me please. Tore out my heart, handed to me on a silver platter. Sew up the hole, emptiness in the place of compassion. You made me this way. I am the product of your creation. Sew up the hole, right now, Now you look the other way. You've turned away from me, The future's much to far away to see. I hope you learn the truth, not the way things wer

Turning Corners
I can't escape you no matter how many times I turn around I see you there looking back at me your beautiful face too tempting to resist your smile too wonderful to deny Not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind Try as I might to shut you out I'm powerless against the stray thoughts that wonder in when my mind is quiet or my heart is in need of a smile I need to forget you I need to find a different path but you made me so happy and loved me so openly that I can never forget what we shared Even as the years push us apart and time fades those joyful memories I feel drawn to you lost in you and hopelessly entranced by you I hope you find your happiness even in the arms of another No matter if the vision destroys me slowly I know you deserve something more than an absentee lover waiting to take you home Just know that around every corner I turn I will see you looking back Your face both beautiful and haunting a welcome image of a broken heart

Turner Brown
There was a little dude and he walked into an elevator. standing next to him was a huge dude. The huge dude turned and said to the little dude .. " before you ask me any quesitons im just gonna tell you the answers to what people usaully ask me .. im 7'2" 375 lbs 2lbs left testicle 2lbs right testical 15" penis and my name is Turner Brown." then little dude looks at the big dude in horror and the big dude says " whats the matter? all i did was tell you that im 7'2" 375 lbs 2lbs left testicle 2lbs right testical 15" penis and my name is turner brown." and the little dude says " oh! thank god! i thought you said turn around!"

Turning Auto-11a On!
My 1 year Fu-Versary is March 15th, I will be turning my Auto-11s ON at 12:01am CST on that day, so for those of ya needing to level, have at it, on me. Love ya all bunches. GOOD LUCK LEVELING!!!! HUGS&MUAHS!!!!

Turning My Black Heart Too Red
Turning My Black Heart Too Red I put my trust into your hands, And I loved without care or regret. I took my chance to show you I cared, And I crashed and burned in the presses. In my heart I could feel every crack, every break, I’ve felt all the pain, sorrow’s and regrets. I’ve loved and taken many chances to feel loved back, I’ve reached for many though none have reached for me. My once red heart has turned a shade of black, It has slowly begun to die from such damage and hurt. I’ve started to think all the blood sweat and tears, Were never worth giving my heart away from the start. I left part of me a few thousand miles away in a house of gray, That part of me broke off as I began to leave that last day. I took a deep breath as I felt it crack in two, felt the tears stain my checks, As they fell from my eyes with every stab, every crack that was made. I just want to feel something other then pain, other then hurt, Feel something real, something that sho

Turn Ons
I absolutely love tattoo's and piercings. I have a thing for guys hips, when a guy has the V shape hips omg I am in trouble. I like guys with nice hands, and facial hair. Deep voices are a big turn on with me. I have a thing for tall guys as well.

Turning 30.
A few facts about myself. Thirty years ago. I was born at home along with my twin Anita. Our mother was in labor a full half hour. She was lucky to have anyone there at all. I was delivered by a male firefighter. My sister next by a female firefighter. Which was a rarity at the time. We were later taken to the hospital where a woman posing as a nurse attempted to steal Anita. Thanks to my mom's gut instinct; the fake was quickly exposed.

Turning The Other Cheek Will Get You Kicked In The Ass
Hey folks, sorry it's been a while since I blogged it up. I'm not in NY anymore so I'm not the "Starbuck's Guy" right now. I'm chillin' at my apartment , well not really chillin' more like packing in a huge rush and getting distracted. I'm going to Iraq in a few days and I have so much to do. Had some adventures since the last time I posted so I'll just bring y'all up to speed on all that.. My last night in NY was somewhat uneventful, as far as I went out to "Hogs and Heifers" which is that cool biker bar in West Village in which I was the only biker there. There were lots of foreigners and I almost got into a fight again. If I had known it was against NY state law for a bouncer to rough somebody up, I would've DEFINATELY gotten into a fight that night. Some yuppy frat-boy went in there with the wrong attitude and was talkin' disrespectful to the lady bartender; my breaking point was when I heard him call her a "Cock-sucking bitch". That made my blood boil, she kicked him out

Turnabout Seems Unfair
There are very few occasions that I just HAVE to talk to someone. Normally I'm ok with whatever goes on and I can just handle it myself. Right now, however, I'm in a pretty confused and crappy state. And the one time it would be nice to just talk to someone, everybody is unavailable, doing their stuff, having their own fun. Figures. I think it's time for new friends.

Turn It Around
sometime this world is tuff on us all ,we feel that there is nothing that we can do to complement us.it that moment we have to as for help thats where i'm at in life but i know that i can turn it around with his help...

Turn And Burn
have you ever watched fire twirlers at a ren fair or even oddly enough a rave twirl their firewands and youre just mesmerized by what you see? such can be said for even the slightest bright and shiny thing that captures your attention...it turns and burns inside your wide field of vision until, whether by choice or slow obsession, it becomes the only thing you want to see... damn I've been having that happen alot lately LOL

Turn Off The Heartache
Blood flows through these veins of mineinto various parts and organs,including my heart.You'd have to turn off my heartto stop the heartache.Every beat fuels my brainand it remembers you, your touch and your love.Which in turn, brings on heartache.You could sever the connection but I'd still feel, the way you should "feel"and that is with your heart.Even removing my heart wouldn't do any good.I'd still feel empty without you,and that emptiness is heartache.You could end my life,but that would only cause the people that care heartache.There is no ending, someone must carry this pain.So let it be me.It lives inside me contently,as long as my heart continues to beat.Until my dying day,May you live and love without the burden of heartache.

Turnaround
I was wrongWhat a fool I've beenCreated such dark circumstancePushed myself away from everyone and everythingDue to unrighteous thoughts in my headSickness in part due to a broken heartSomething a band-aid cannot mendTime and understanding is my first-aidPictures remind me of the lies I toldThe sadness once in my eyes, now rests in your heartBecause of meForgive me of my wrongs and understand why i still feelThat's all I ask.

Turning About
If all I did was smile And my words came out in fumbling style Please realize I’m just taken away with the beauty before me As there is much more then these eyes can see If all I did was stare into your eyes Then know my heart speaks no lies True beauty like a humming bird Captures the wind beneath its wings giving word Giving of its self without thought If all of this is true If all of this is because of you Then there is no coming down There could only be you and me You and me out at sea Quenching the flames with our bodies tender plea

Turn It Loose
Some call it country with a little bit of rhythm and bluesAnd when the boys start rockin'There's a beat that you just can't loseWhere it's gonna take us nobody knowsIt sure feels good to the body and soul(Chorus)I love the slide of a steal guitarI love the moan of an old blues harpI love the shake of a tamborineI love the bass when it's low and meanSo put on your shoutin' shoesAnd turn it looseTurn it looseYou feel like dancin'And you just can't stay in your seatYour knees start knockin'And you can't help stompin' your feetBefore you even know it you'll be singin' a longMakes me wanna stay hear all night long(Repeat Chorus)Turn it looseEverybody put on your shoutin' shoes and turn it looseGrab your shoutin' shoes and turn it loose The Judds Yep... turn it loose and burn it to the ground. ;)

Turning Point
OK SO I HAVE COME TO TERMS OF AGREEMENT ON SOMTHING THAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS NOW - AND I HAVE COME TO NOTICE A LARGE AMMOUNT OF THIS OCCURING - AND NOW I GUESS I NEED TO LET IT PUBLICLY KNOWN AS IT STANDS FOR EVERYONE TO SEE IT AND READ IT - AND UNDERSTAND IT - THIS IS THE VIEWS I HAVE COME TO WITH HEAVY THOUGHT - AND IF YOU WISH TO COMMENT TO IT - THAT IS FINE - EVERYONE HAS THEY OWN OPINION AND HERE IS MINE. FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS I HAVE SAT BACK AND NOTICED A LARGE INCREASE IN THE "MFKN" NAME - WEATHER ITS BEING SPORTED AS A FASHION STATEMENT - A FAMILY - AN ONLINE "MAFIA" IN TERMS PEOPLE HAVE USED - AND I HAVE NOTICED A LARGE AMMOUNT OF "MY FRIENDS" TALKING ABOUT THIS "FAMILY" - NOW I HAVE TO LET EVERYTHING OUT THE WOODWORK ON MY OPINION TO THIS. IN MY OPINION YOU DO NOT NEED LETTERS IN YOUR NAME TO HAVE FRIENDS OR GAIN HELP FROM OTHERS - I HAVE NEVER DISCRIMINATED TO THESE USERS - BUT AS OF NOW I REFUSE TO BOMB AN MFKN MEMBER - YOU HAVE A FAMILY S

Turn Off My Brain Please.
I seriously wish there was an off switch for the portion of my brain controlling my thoughts today. I am going to sit here and drive myself crazy because of all the thoughts just rushing into my head. It's been going on like this for two weeks and I don't know if I can take much more. Work isn't even providing me with an adequate distraction today. Maybe things will get better after lunch.

Turning Tricks In The House Of God
turning tricks in the house of god The blackness stains her pillow as it also stains her face,but unlike the eyeliner on her silken sheets the bruises hold their place.Left upon the doorstep of a merciless god she waits, but with every unansweredprayer her hope turns into hate. Beaten broken and shattered she's left to hold her own, but when every bone is broken where will she call home.The glass she uses to cut with no longer make a sting,she never knew shed traded her soul in when she accepted thatdemons ring.for every fist and insult and for evey rape a lie,but when do you disguise the truth to make sure you don't die.For every bruise a reason for every bump a scream,how to live when every days a nightmare and every nightmare is a dream.So she resorts to selling her body though she knows it rots her soul,but what to do when your shattered not a piece of you is whole.The drugs sustain a fix for her the powder are her wings,to bad she doesn't realize the gods tremble when she sings

[turns Out]
It has been brought to my attention that: my capacity to anihilate people's self defense mechanisms and squash their tiny naive delusions,my complete lack of an emotional register (soul)and the fact that underneath this dark, reclusive, tortured surfacethere's MORE dark tortured reclusiveness and no bunnies, unicorns or a desire for a human connection- is all a little off putting for my romantic candidates.Especially if they have that nurture impulse and I tell them to stop and just get naked/enjoy me for who I am. I don't need your helpI don't WANT to be fixed. I'm going to have a refreshing cool drink now.

Turning Points
What is the point where a positive attitudeturns into wishful thinking?When sipping becomesdrinking?When lust changes to love?When busts become bosoms?Where do blossoms turn to flowers which last a few brief hours?Then hours turn into daysand time becomes a maze?When does maize become corn?And corn turn into porn?Does porn become art when we go back to the start,and see it's all just wishful thinkingintertwined with heavy drinking?

Turn And Walk Or I'll Push You
You fall apart each time you start to say goodbye But there is nobody watching (nobody watching) You lose your grip, you start to slip but don't know why And this is just the beginning (just the beginning) You had the hopes to make it last, it's moving fast And now you're realizing (realizing) That in the past the dreams you had make people feel Like you were just reciting (just reciting) Bathing in the afterglow Of chance and luck and pride Where we end up we can never know And all I know is we seem to be Changing, better to turn and walk away Fading, all of these lights just turn to grey Changing, better turn and walk away But the strange thing Is that I don't feel a thing It's just an act, stop holding back the things you lost Cannot replace what's missing (replace what's missing) And from the start you played the part and now your heart's Become a great deception Bathing in the afterglow Of chance and luck and pride Where we end up we can never know And all I know is we seem to

Turn Me Loose By Loverboy
I was born to run,I was born to dream,The craziest boy you ever seen,I gotta do it my way,Or no way at all.And I was here to please,I’m even on kneesMakin love to whoever I please,I gotta do it my way,Or no way at all.And then you came around,Tried to tie me down,I was such a clown,You had to have it your way,Or no way at all.Well I’ve had all I can take,I can’t take it no more,I’m gonna pack my bags and fly......baby,Or no way at all.So why don’t you turn me lose,Turn me loose,Turn me loose,I gotta do it my way,Or no way at all.Why don’t you turn me lose,Turn me loose,Turn me loose,I gotta do it my way,I wanna fly.I’m here to please,I’m even on my knees,Makin love to whoever I please,I gotta do it my way,I gotta do it my way,And when you came around,You tried to tie me down,I was such a clown,You had to have it your way,Well I’m sayin no way,So why don’t you turn me lose,Turn me loose,Turn me loose,I gotta do it my way,Or no

Turning Seasons
In the first spring his dampened thoughts progressed Noticing that maybe life could again be touched. By words of one who too had lived the past. A hand reached into the depth lost with years denied. The autumn came as feelings returned to bloomRain nourished the smiles that he brought forthSilence of many cherished thoughts kept quietBegan surfacing carried in flight by gossomer wings.Winter silently appeared with impatience of more to come.Darkness filled the long cold nights of wanting to be near.His love shaken by unexpected awakenings found unkind.One lie portrayed a past so scarred and unimagined.Forgiveness sought a heart finding so much moreSurprising Christmas greetings brought forth meaning For soon the season would again renew as before.And the journey of a new found love would come forth.Into a new year she planned the arrival of her essenceFor just that, had he become, caressing more than life. look, a stare, that perfect welcomed touch felt within.A warmth and peace s

Turning The Other Cheek, Just To Get Slapped Again?
Ninja,I am a disabled mother of a wonderful 6 yr old little boy. I have fought hard to care for my son all on my own for the last year & 1/2 with no help from his father. We were in a 10 yr relationship and a year after our son was born we found out I had cancer. Then it spiraled into a number of other illnesses I have had to deal with. I lost my father & we (all 3 of us) moved in to care for my mother. My son's father left 5 months later because he said he couldn't handle my sickness any longer. 4 months later my mother was gone due to kidney failure. My son & I were alone, we lost everything and were forced to move in with a LONG time friend I consider my brother. Here comes my delima... My mother drilled it in my head that forgiveness is the ONLY way to find true peace in my life. Now my son's father has hit rock bottom. He became a meth addict and lost everything he had and all of a sudden he is "sorry" for everything he did to me and his son. I want to forgive him bu

Turn On Your Light???
If you havent alraedy seen this on FB...TURN ON YOUR LIGHT FOR CAYLEE ANTHONEY...we are supposed to be turning on porch lights for her...Ok thats fine..BUT Why not turn your porch lights off. Take that money that you're funneling into the electric company and donate it here instead...they could do a lot more good than your local electric company! Visit The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children https://secure.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/DonationServlet

Turn On The Light
arising factors of fear smells of death i see the battles of the past fighting to take control of my sanity im losing hope with the present tyme holding me changing me sucking the light out of my eyes hiding in an empty room in my mind the screams sounding as a banshees screams my heads pounding terror giving in to adrenaline huddled in a dark corner my body a shaking mass muscles clenched veins bulging the battle rages on in my head fighting for dominance fear and hatred provoking love into a struggle flashes of red the breaking point frustrated screams anger lashing out my knuckles broken and bleeding someone help me someone save my sanity someone turn on the light

Turn Around
All righty then. Here's the deal.Lately, I've been despairing of my life. I'm nearly 20 years and I don't know what to do with myself...my days consist of sitting on my ass on numerous social networking sites, and working as a freshly-minted cashier at the local Wal-Mart. I've basically nothing going for me...i used to have a good figure, but more on that in a bit.I was in the Civil Air Patrol until August of this year as a cadet. Now, promotions required, among other things, physical testing. Sit-ups, pushups, a mile run/shuttle run and sit and reach. However, since practice for those things have no longer been necessary (not that I practiced anyway...i was good enough for a good deal of them anyway, especially sit and reach...i've been known to get a 55 on occasion...Now i think i can barely make 36...i don't know, i don't measure.I've been having a horrid time sleeping, and I don't want to take much melatonin, as it apparently makes me look like I'm exhausted (which i am anyways, th

Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn Me Loose - Dwight Yoakam
Well I'm back again for another night Of trying to break free from this sadness that I can't lay to rest This old honky-tonk sure does feel like home And the music with the laughter seem to soothe my loneliness Turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose From the memory that's driving me lonely, crazy and blue It helps me forget her, so the louder the better Hey mister turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose If a tear should fall if I should whisper her name To some stranger I'm holdin' while we're dancin' to an old Buck Owens song I know she won't mind she won't even know She'll be dancing with a memory crying teardrops of her own Turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose From the memory that's driving me lonely, crazy and blue It helps me forget her so the louder the better Hey mister turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose Turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose From the memory that's driving me lonely, crazy and blue It helps me forget her so the louder the better Hey mister turn it on, turn it up

Turning The Filter Off
Does anyone know where this world has gone today? It has become nothing more than a bunch of low lifes who do nothing more than take advantage of others just to get ahead and the fact that people who choose not to see it makes me sick! I would like to think that maybe all it would take is for somebody to let their voice be heard but the fact is is that no1 is willing to take their balls out of their purse and actually lay the cards out on the table!! I would like it explained to me how you can go around saying that I respect everyone then the next second your talking about how much they pissed you off earlier that day...Thank You Captain Hypocrite!!!

Turn The Page - Rush
Nothing can survive in a vacuumNo one can exists all aloneWe pretend things only happen to strangersWe've all got problems of our ownIt's enough to learn to share our pleasuresWe can't soothe pain with sympathyAll that we can do is be remindedWe shake our heads at the tragedyEvery day we're standing in a time capsuleRacing down a river from the pastEvery day we're standing in a wind tunnelFacing down the future coming fastLooking at the long range forecastCatching all the names in the newsChecking out the state of the nationLearning the environmental bluesTruth is after all a moving targetHairs to split, and pieces that don't fitHow can anybody be enlightened?Truth is after all so poorly litIt's just the ageIt's just a stageWe disengageWe turn the pageEvery day we're standing in a time capsule(It's just a stage)We disengage, we turn the pageRacing down the river running fastEvery day we're standing in a wind tunnel(It's just a stage)We disengage, we turn the pageFacing down the future

Turning Point
I have been asked on a number of occasions 'whats my story' and I always say something to the effect of 'Im a boring story ( I am, but thats the point here, lol) I have just refreained from emoting anything for fear of exclusion, the minute one opines on here there becomes a dividing line of those that agree and those that dont and I have been of the mindest that I would rather be 'all inclusive'.... Im just not sure that that is wholy productive.... so why not say whats on my mind, and knowign that in doing so it will send a certain segment of the female populas in the other direction lol.....well I suppose the time has come to not be worried about keeping my mouth shut for fear of ruffling feathers.... not that Im Looking to ruffle anything... Im just saying Im gonna avoid Not doing it for the sake of the fold..... if you hate, I dont really want to talk to you.... if you are stupid, I really dont have time for you, and if you mix those two in your own blend of ignorance, welll it ju

Turned On
Late tonight I lay back and turn on my thinking track. My hands move closer and across my body, finger tips glide smoothly and I start to feel naughty. Causing my goose bumps to feel more like sexy ripples, I make my way up and squeeze my nipples. My pussy clinches tight and I start wishing you was in my sight. To see your face and feel your touch. Just take your time, there's no rush. Now reach down, grab my legs, and pull them up high, I hold my legs open squeezing my thighs. Watching you kiss me all over working your way to my love holes, you use your tongue and make me quiver grabbing your hair I hold you close and start to shiver. I wrap my legs around your head and hold you tight, you can stay anywhere you want all night. Just as long as I have you against me till the morning light.By: ASHLEY (ME) 10/16/11

Turned On
[sigh] While rating pictures I've come to the conclusion that if a person has nice teeth, I automatically get turned on. I know there is a possiblity of them speaking and me wanting to run far, far away. Why can't guys that have nice teeth just smile and be quiet? Oh...and they better smell good.

Turning Away
Turning Away What is happening with my life What I was trying to find Why did I waste all this time I am going to end these troubles tonight But the bird has lost his way All his friends have flown away Some are immersed in an inane race While the others are seeking a new place I cannot focus my brain I will simply watch the passing trains The people so averse to take a breath Happily running towards their death I have no angel to embrace Or the things I wish to chase I will simply walk down that lane Just to calm my puzzling brain But all I find is the kids in the rain Foolishly risking their health for no gain Without any negative worries or shame A predicament and a God to blame But aren’t all the creatures the same A basic nature before they are tame Far before my thoughts scattered away Before my demons lead me astray I remember I danced in my coldest days So the days would ever be the same Will I ever feel that life is a game Will I ever obtai

Turn Ur Page
Sometimes you just have to turn the page to realize there's more to your book of life than the page you're stuck on. Stop being afraid to move on. Close this chapter of hurt, and never re-read it. It's time to get what your life deserves, and move on from the things that don't deserve you. When you hold on to your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny. Don't try to fix what's been broken in your past, let your future create something better. - Trent Shelton #RehabTime

Turpentine
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine." The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby." The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson."

Turpentine
Turpentine > >> > >> > >> > >>A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of Turpentine, shaking > >>it > >>up and watching the bubbles. > >> > >>A while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. > >>The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, > >>it's > >>called turpentine." > >> > >>The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. > >> > >>If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's > >>belly, > >>she'll pass a healthy baby." > >> > >>The little boy replied, > >>"You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll > >>pass a Harley Davidson."

Turpentine....
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of Turpentine, shaking it up and watching the bubbles. A while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine." The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby." The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson."

Turpentine Vs Holy Water
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of Turpentine, shaking it up and watching the bubbles. A little while later, a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the post powerful liquid in the world, it's called Turpentine." The priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby." The little boy replied, "You take some of this here Turpentine, and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson." Meowww !! Blessed Be ...Boo xo

Turpentine And The Little Boy
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine!!! The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.' The little boy replied, 'You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson.'

Turpentine Vs Holy Water
TURPENTINE VS HOLY WATER > > A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine." > > The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this > > Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass ahealthy baby." >

Turquoise Jewelry - Blue Green Drama
This is one of the most favored jewels in the world. Men and women alike have been drawn to the beauty and the texture of the stone such as no other. Turquoise Jewelry is indeed a well known jewel for all those who are looking for a bright pop of color in their jewels. It can be worn as anything you want it to. Most popularly the stone is worn as rings, earring, lockets, pendants, bracelets, and many more. Since it is found across the globe and it is considered to be a great piece to pair up and create a style statement with, it is no wonder that this is a stone that is like and loved by many. The color of the stone – it ranges from a pale blue and a pale green, to a dark blue and a dark green. Every single stone is different, and the color combination differs according to the place from which it was mined. It is important to make sure that you are getting the right stone with the right color, so that you don’t have to wear something you don’t like. No two stones are

Turquoise Jewelry – The Bluish Angel
Turquoise beads are very best stones for buyers because it is so soft, affordable but great looking stones and also it is favorite beads for every jeweler because it makes their shop more famous with its great quality. Turquoise is the birthstone for the month of the December, so it is absolutely suitable for the people who are born on December. The turquoise jewelry was very famous and favorite jewelry in our earlier times that is before 5000 years, ancients’ loves to wear this turquoise jewelry, they called turquoise as sky stone, which is in sky color. First this turquoise jewelry was the Native American jewelry and then later it became as Indian jewelry which was made Indian artisans. Specialties of Turquoise Ancient doctors used this turquoise gemstones for medicinal purposes such as to prevent injury and make it as a powder and then gave it for stomach disorders, insect bites etc. This turquoise is used as symbol of luck, if you’re wear the turquoise rings, you will

Turst This From A Web Site Dontdatehim.com
I read an article this morning where a woman was asking an advice columnist what she should do about her husband's hairdresser? She thought the hair dresser was flirting with the husband. She has also been married to this man for 35 years with no reason to think he has ever done anything inappropriate. The advice columnist told the woman to relax and not mention anything to her husband. She told the doubting spouse that she had nothing to worry about. A constant question or suspicion that your significant other is doing something wrong does three things: 1. It hurts your mate's feelings. Imagine that you are in charge of the petty cash at work. Suppose your boss was always counting the money or asking you to justify expenditures? You would clearly say that your boss doesn't trust you and you might seek another job. How do you think your mate feels when suspicion is always casts upon him? It hurts. 2. It makes your mate angry. If you would be upset if your boss doubted your tr

The Turtle Results Are In !!
The debate on: If a turtle looses his shell, is he naked or homeless? is over and the results are in. You have decided that he is............ HOMELESS !!! Thanks to all who took the time to vote and comment. if you want to.

Turtle Cake With Caramels
INGREDIENTS: * 1 German chocolate cake mix * 4 ounces butter or margarine, softened * 1 1/2 cups water * 1/2 cup oil * 1 can sweetened condensed milk * 1 pound bag caramels, unwrapped * 1/2 to 1 cup chopped pecans * . * Turtle Cake Frosting * 4 ounces butter * 3 tablespoons cocoa * 6 tablespoons evaporated milk * 1 box (1 pound) confectioners' sugar * 1 teaspoon vanilla PREPARATION: Combine and mix well cake mix, butter, water, oil and 1/2 can sweetened condensed milk. Pour half of the batter into a greased and floured 13X9X2-inch baking pan. Bake in a preheated 350° oven for 20 to 25 minutes. In a saucepan over low heat, combine caramels and 1/2 can Eagle Brand Milk. Stir mixture, heating until caramels are melted and mixture is smooth. Spread over the baked cake layer. Sprinkle generously with chopped pecans. Cover with remaining cake batter. Bake 25 to 30 minutes longer. Frost with Turtle Cake Frosting.

Turtoring Hell
Inside I am lonely, Outside I am lost, I want to stop the torture, No matter what the cost. The feeling of despair, Matches with the pain, I need to stop the bleeding, Before I go insane. The horror grows inside me, My pain is its thrill, To be free from this course, Has always been my will.

Turtle
AND YES I HAVE CAUGHT THEM,IN A BAKINI 8 MONTHS PREGNAT AND BAREFOOT,,CUT THEM APART AT THEIR SOFT SPOT ON THE EDGE OF THE SHELL,,ONCE ALL THATS DONE THROW THE SHELL UP ON THE GARAGE ROOF FOR LATER PURPOSES,, THEY ACTUALLY BRING MONEY BELIVE IT OR NOT,,,,THIS U HAVE TO LEAVE THE BONES IN AND PUT IN A POT TO BOIL...AS UR BOILING U NEED TO SKIM THE TOP,, THAT IS THE GAMEY SMELL AND TASTE IN THE TURTLE!!! AFTER BOILED U CAN SAVE IN FREEZER FOR A LATER GAME FEST USE SAME RECIPE AS FROG LEGS,,THE EGG/FLOUR RECIPE AND FRY,,,WHILE THATS GOING ON, GRILL SOME ONION(ACTUALLY SAUTE)DONT BURN,,AND PREHEAT OVEN OR CROCKPOT,,MAKE SURE THEY ARE DRAINED OF GREESE AND THROW IN THE CROCK POT WITH ONIONS ON TOP(I ADD MUSHROOMS TOO)WAIT FOR THE OLD MAN AND KIDS TO COME HOME AND YELL COME AND GET'R TURTLE IS EXCELLENT IN SOUPS INSTEAD OF HAMBURGER OR BEEF TOO

Turtles
T.L.O.F CLUB ChristyShell*T.L.O.F. CLUB FOUNDER*$T.A.$ CLUB CO-FOUNDER ~OFFICIAL L.U.V. CLUB CO - FOUNDER~@ fubar BGD'S Yummy~H.S.W.~Cursed Rebel LDC~ L.U.V. Club~FAR~*TLOF*READ ABOUT ME!!!@ fubar Tanya/TURTLE (F.A.R. andT.L.O.F. )@ fubar pokiepete ~OFFICIAL L.U.V. CLUB FOUNDER~HONORABLE SOCIETY OF WOLVES~*T.L.O.F. CLUB*@ fubar

Turtles Galore
All the turtles that were donated... I thank you all!!! They were/are much appreciated. Every one of them have been saved on my puter. I deleted from Fubar only. Lifesez called me a deleter. :( I only deleted them for room for other pix, since my VIP is gone. Yes, easy come, easy go. Such is life, right? I find myself starting a new chapter in my life. I'm at a crossroads. I've determined my direction, and you may find that some of my pictures reflect that. My life is a whirlwind at the moment, and yes, the whirlwind is a wonderful thing. There are so many changes, physically, emotionally, and mentally. The mastermind behind the MHC has changed her tune!! Big surprise, eh? It's a wonderful thing. Soooo, with all the changes, my Fubar pictures change as well. Thanx again for all the turtle pix. If I ever get a VIP again, I may reload them. I don't know where else to put them, after all. lol My puter runs slow enough as it is without 170 extra pix to weigh it down. Yes, 170 turtle p

Turtle As A Symbol
From history to present day there are many belief symbols. Some are of good omens and some are of bad omens. We even see some of these symbols in our dreams. Have you ever wondered what the turtle symbol represents in different cultures and meanings? In this article I summarize some of those symbol beliefs. Dreams... What do they mean? The turtle seen in a dream indicates an unusual improvement. This would be a positive omen. Turtles in a negative aspect means fear of facing responsibility or reality. However, a turtle can represent long life because turtles live a long time. They also have quiet strength. Spirituality: In the far east, the turtles shell was a symbol of heaven and the square underside was a symbol of Earth. This meant that the turtle was an animal whose magic united heaven and Earth. In the west, early Christians viewed turtles as a symbol of evil forces during war. In the Hindu myth the tortoise Chukwa supports the world. The turtle also represents t

Turtle Tongues Of Love
turtle tongues of love by LateNiteFantasy© this gold morning lifts me magic blue turtle tongues murmuring about the irrelevance of the motion of stars a trial and error criss cross of meaning and movement (deliver me from evil oh yes deliver me from the loud bright clowns of heaven recalcitrant angel-elves tip-toeing through dawn demanding higher meaning demanding a shelf for mushrooms demanding a self-reflexive conundrum of self-doubt) who knows the anvil of stasis who knows the peacocks of passion drowning in a bathtub of desire gasping like puppies round-tummied on the verge of ecstasy deny me nothing please and please let me have the terror of it all

Turtles
TURTLES 50 caramels 1/4 cup milk 3 1/2 cups pecans, chopped 1 (12 oz) package semi-sweet chocolate chips 1/2 bar gulf cooking wax Melt caramels and milk together over low heat. Stir in pecans. Drop balls of mixture on buttered cookie sheet. Place cookie sheets in the freezer for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, melt chocolate chips and gulf wax. Dip caramel balls in chocolate. Let stand 15 minutes before stacking.

The Turtle Haikus
"The Turtle Haikus" 1 The turtle slowly walks towards the pond, in step with it's beating heart 2 The turtle shell does not keep the world out, but keeps A big love within 3 Shells, lined with rings like trees, tell the gallant story of each brave turtle 4 Green and tough, the shell conceals a heart softer than the sunlight's first rays

The Turtlesymbiote Story
It all started on day when I was just walking around my master's garden. Watching him as he teaches some younger ninjas. Then all of the sudden a helicopter crushes in to the garden killing both my master and the children. I went over to help out my master never even noticing the strange green substance that was on the ground and that got all over me. Then strange men in black come to clean up the mess. One of them picks me up and throws me across the yard. As I lay there crying about what has just happened days pass and I begin to grow bigger. Over the next few days I start to think of the men in black and how much it was their fault and how I will make them pay. Just then a small peace of glowing red stuff falls on my back though I don’t not feel it then. When get up and finally realize I have grown and now can stand on two legs and talk like my master. I vow to you master I will make them play for this!!! So I start to train and I look around at what is left of my master’s peaceful

Turtle Turtle
Do any of you know anything about aquatic turtles? I'm having a problem keeping his cage clean. We just cleaned it and the water has a green tinge to it. We used to be able just to change the water about once a month, but change the filter once a week, and the water would stay clear. The filter doesn't seem cloged, or look dirty, just the water.

Tuscan Chicken With Warm Bean Salad
1 4- to 4 1/2-pound chicken, cut into 10 pieces (2 breasts, each halved; 2 wings; 2 thighs; 2 drumsticks) 9 garlic cloves 1 teaspoon salt 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice 4 tablespoons olive oil 3 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary or 3 teaspoons dried 2 1/2 tablespoons grated lemon peel 1/2 teaspoon sugar 3 15-ounce cans cannellini (white kidney beans), rinsed, drained Arrange chicken in 12x9x2-inch baking dish. Mince 5 garlic cloves; mix in 1 teaspoon salt. Rub garlic mixture into chicken. Mix lemon juice, 2 tablespoons oil, 2 tablespoons rosemary, lemon peel and sugar in small bowl. Pour over chicken. Season with pepper. Cover; chill up to 3 hours. Preheat oven to 350°F. Place cannellini in large skillet. Chop remaining 4 garlic cloves and mix into cannellini with 2 tablespoons oil and 1 tablespoon rosemary. Season with salt and pepper. Uncover chicken and bake until cooked through but still juicy, basting occasionally, about 40 minutes. Remove from oven. Preheat broil

Tuscan Meringue With Mixed Berries
Crisp, sweet meringue cups are a perfect foil for sweet berries and cream in this great spring dessert recipe! :Serves 4-6 Meringue Shell: 5 Egg Whites 1/4 Teaspoon Cream of Tartar 1 Cup Granulated Sugar 1/4 Teaspoon Cinnamon Berries: Three Cups Mixed Fresh Berries 2 Tablespoons Sugar 1 Tablespoon Balsalmic Vinegar Topping: 1 (8oz) Container Whipping Cream 1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar 1 Tablespoon Grand Marnier For the meringue, preheat the oven to 250 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. In a large bowl, beat the egg whites with the cream of tarter until they are foamy. Begin to add the granulated sugar, a spoonful at a time. Also add the cinnamon. Continue to beat until the meringue is very glossy and forms stiff peaks. You may choose to make one large meringue or individual ones at this point. To make individual ones, spread about 1/2-cup of the meringue into a 3-inch circle on the parchment paper. Adding a little more of t

Tusd Flagrantly Violates Constitution And International Human Rights Treaties (repost)
By Roberto Dr. Cintli Rodriguez, PhD "Instead of seeing Hispanics as outsiders who do not belong here, we need to start seeing them as ancestors of the original inhabitants of these lands. They are the living fulfillment of the Ghost Dance prophecy." - Chief Billy Redwing Tayac, Piscataway Nation The above quote best contextualizes the battle in Tucson. Mexican American Studies, also known as Chicano/a Studies or Raza Studies, in effect, is the study of peoples who trace their lineage to this very continent, many thousands of years before the arrival of Columbus. Their roots are Indigenous and part of daily, living maiz-based cultures. A primary objective of MAS has always been the recovery of those cultural roots that in the past have been denied. In Tucson, the teaching of these studies, of these roots, has not just been outlawed, but, in effect, criminalized. While TUSD continues to be under court orders to desegregate, and while the state is being sued (Acosta) i

Tuseday
I dont know if i will be on much Tuseday cuz im haveing teeth pulled and there putting me under anesthesia cuz im tarififed of the dentist and ill probally be in a lotta pian so if you have my cell number text me to check on me if you wanan if not ill be back probally wednessday or if can on tuseday lol ........ I really dont wanna go to the dentist ethere lol ....im scared to death

"tush"
"Tush" I been up, I been down. Take my word, my way around. I ain't askin' for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown, I'm just lookin' for some tush. I been bad, I been good, Dallas, Texas; Hollywood. I ain't askin' for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown, I'm just lookin' for some tush. Take me back way back home, not by myself, not alone. I ain't askin' for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown, I'm just lookin' for some tush.

Tuskegee Airmen Receive Congressional Honors
Tuskegee Airmen receive congressional honors First all-black aviation unit in WWII awarded Congressional Gold Medal President Bush greets Tuskegee Airmen Dr. Roscoe Brown, center, and Lt. Col. Alexander Jefferson, left, on Thursday in the Capitol Rotunda in Washington, during the Congressional Gold Medal Ceremony for the Tuskegee Airmen. WASHINGTON - President Bush saluted the Tuskegee Airmen on Thursday, six decades after they completed their World War II mission and returned home to a country that discriminated against them because they were black. “Even the Nazis asked why African American men would fight for a country that treated them so unfairly,” President Bush told the group of legendary black aviators, who received a Congressional Gold Medal — the most prestigious Congress has to offer. “These men in our presence felt a special sense of urgency. They were fighting two wars. One was in Europe and the other took place in the hearts and minds of our citizens.”

Tusk ~ Madness Of Time (now With Links To Second Life)
To visit Amberly Kinsella's island of Tusk in Second Life Please Click Here. Madness of Time ~ Written by Noe Time shifts in small earthquakes. These quakes do not register on a regular scale but can only be detected by machines buried deep in the earth. With each spike on the paper, each anomaly from the steady rhythm, tectonic plates move and time skips forward. How many of these little quakes had shaken the invisible layers of crust floating above the mantle? Years had gone by, hundreds of tiny tremors, unnoticed, beneath her feet. And now? Now she stands against the parapet of her domain watching the orange crystal orb, lifted and spilling magic, spin marking its own passage of time. With a sigh she pushes off the edge and walks slowly to the floors below. What a fortress she had built, castle walls rising high above the water on her rocky island, orange crystal orbs spinning, pulsing, lending magic to her world. It was lit and blazing among the dark walls, lights that ca

Tussle
"The true test of any relationship is how both parties deal with conflict. Right now, for example, if you two have to tussle, make sure you both fight fair and, most importantly, are willing to learn from the situation." Tussles?? Conflict?? Hmmm Let's see.. I've thrown an ashtray on the floor a couple of weeks ago... The only "tussling" we do is in Bed... :D I won't fight fair there!!!!! Make Her Squirm!!!!!

Tutelage
tutelage TOO-tuhl-ij; TYOO-, noun: 1. The act of guarding or protecting; guardianship; protection. 2. The state of being under a guardian or tutor. 3. Instruction, especially individual instruction accompanied by close attention and guidance.

Tu The One That Let Me Go!
Before i begin, i would just lyke tu tell hym something...."I fuckin' love you with all my heart god damnit n' i ain't lettin' go....you kan be an ass....treat me lyke shyt.....tell me stupid liez (u know u lie).....i don't give a fuck...i'm here tu stay...u know why? well i'll tell ya....ur my bestfriend....my everything....i may not have you az my man, but i'm not luzin' you az a friend....kk, so, don't you get it babe..?....u hurt me once, then twice, then three tymez.....where am i?.....wow, i'm styll standin' here waitin' for the day you realize that we r so perfekt tugether...hmm....doesn't that just sound so um....annoying....well deal with it kuz i know you want me just az bad but either way you were gonna hurt someone....u knew the whole tyme that if you chose her...i'd styll be here in the end....n' you know it...n' i know it......n' well, here i am...here tu stay!! Again, i love you" Ok, so u used the lyne "your only seventeen" HA ha Ha...i laugh...bekuz i'm not ur averag

Tutorial
How to Hack a Windows XP Password In this tutorial I will teach you how to hack a windows XP password without any programs. All you need is access to the Windows Command Prompt. Please do not use this for anything other than educational purposes. I take no responsibility to any harm that you inflict on your computer! Step 1: Click on Start, then on Run, and type in CMD, then hit enter. Step 2: Now a black box will appear, type in net user and hit enter. Step 3: Now you'll notice how all the accounts on the computer will be displayed, pick the account you want to hack. Step 4: Now type in net user ACCOUNT NAME * and hit enter. Step 5: It will ask you to replace the existing password, this is how we over-write it. Step 6: Type in your new password, and hit enter, now type it again, and hit enter one last time. Step 7: Now it should say something like command completed successfully. Note: If the account name is two words, seperated by a

Tutorial: How To Be A Cunning Linguist
1) Be Down Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven. 2) Don’t Say Hi to Dry A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping. Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers. Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws. Important: Don’t play your trump card too

Tutorial How To Make A Website
Proper a website stuff involves either acquisition to get a website on your own, from signaling to eat, or using online and offline put plaything software, which provides you with shortcuts. The otherwise is the cheapest choice in cost of money, not measure but whichever way you superior, never rehash compass of what makes a website neat. Every newbie strength score many sweat in making their own website and don't deuce where to benefit, not omission for you.The perform support that you should do is founder to reckon of an music for your new website. If you already hump what you necessary to overhaul your website around, repercussion this convey. Explore distinguishable jewellery sites for layout ideas. Brainwave and straighten set all of your ideas, no target how undignified they may seem. There's no better pretend than the net to transfer an music into prosperous. You can also get amend by searching the web with belajar bikin web.After that, you should constitute your mart. What kind

Tutorial: How To Post And Re- Post Bullitens
Ok so I have come to find that unless you've been here forever some people really dont knowo what they're doing. So instead of having to repeat myself over and over here is a tutorial for those who dont know how to post or re-post a bulliten. Posting a bulliten: If you are part of a lounge and youre a dj or cammer person you are usually made a bulliten to use when youre on cam or on air. It comes in the form of HTML. When you are given the file that holds all those random letters and what not all you have to do is save it to your computer so you always have it available. When you go to post it make sure you pull that file up and copy everything in that file. Then on the fubar side this is what you do... 1. go to your bulliten board and hit post new bulliten. 2. Paste all that stuff you just copied into the white box. Make sure you title it or it wont let you post it. 3. hit preview and post. There youll be able to see what it looks like before you post it. 4. hit post :)

Tutorial - Glittering Lizard
Glittering Lizard Today's blog is a tutorial on how to get the nails I uploaded yesterday. There are only 4 products that you'll need besides your base and top coat. The best part is that everything I used has a dupilicate that you could substitute. Besides your base and top coat, you'll need: OPI Don't Mess with OPI (OPI Jade is the New Black) OPI Just Spotted the Lizard (Sephora Diving in Malaysia OR Chanel Peridot) Essie Shine of the Times (Nubar 2010 OR Sally Hansen Hidden Treasure OR Essence Waking up in Vegas) OPI Black Shatter (China Glaze Black Mesh) } STEP ONE Prepare your nail by laying a thin layer of the base coat down and allow to dry. } STEP TWO Lay down a thin but even layer of Don't Mess with OPI so that your nail is completely covered. This may be a one or two coater. Allow to dry. } STEP THREE (OPTIONAL) You may wish to create an accent finger or do your entire hand like this. I personally just did accent fingers. It adds a nice glitzy flash.

The Tutor ( Anyone Need A Lesson ?)
Jamie had just graduated from college and had moved back in with her parents. The economy was down and jobs were sparse. She needed to find something to occupy her time and bring in some income. One afternoon, she came back from a workout sweaty and in need of a shower. When she walked in her house, her mother was talking on the phone with her neighbor. Jamie jumped in the shower and began washing her naked body. She was short, but fit with nice perky breasts and an ass her friends would kill for. Just then her mom knocked on the bathroom door. “Jamie, I just got off the phone with Joan Spellman. Her son Joey is failing classes and he needs a tutor to get him through his senior year. She was wondering if you’d be interested, and she is willing to pay good money if you help him graduate.”Jamie rolled her eyes at the idea as she shut off the water and stepped out of the tub. “Wow, Joey Spellman is a senior in high school? Time really flies. I guess you can tell Ms

Tutti Fruiti Ice Cream
Tutti Fruiti Ice Cream 3 mashed bananas 3 oranges (juice) 3 lemons (juice) 3 c. sugar 3 c. cream (optional: 2 pts. half and half may be substituted) Combine ingredients in 4 quart ice cream freezer. Add milk to finish filling (approximately 3 cups). Place ice cream bucket in churn and freeze as usual.

Tutto Questo Luminosità Extra è Destinato Ad Avere Un Impatto Sulla Durata Della Batteria
Tuttavia, sembra che a causa degli sviluppi ClearBlack, gli ingegneri Nokia fare i conti non sarà necessario utilizzare le impostazioni di high-end abbastanza tanto lumia 920 caratteristiche , affermando che "A causa della bassa riflettenza della pila ottica, la nostra stima è che in genere solo 5-10 per cento del tempo si sarà in condizioni estremamente luminose in cui sarà necessario questa modalità ad alta luminosità. Quindi, in totale, non sarà così pesante sulla batteria. " Questa è la chiave come si trova che solo in condizioni molto luminose, come quando fuori e della brillantezza sole sarà la modalità ad alta luminosità da assumere. Il 'leggibilità algoritmo di luce solare miglioramento' è un altro elemento fondamentale di Nokia ClearBlack in quanto consente la visualizzazione di affinare se stesso per produrre più chiare e nitide anche in pieno sole.

Tutti Vogliono Avere Il Tablet Pc
Ma la preside Albert Grimm aveva al funzionario It? Apertura accanto al orgoglio in questa scuola pronti per molti più motivi per festeggiare questa festa. Ci sono accanto agli edifici di nuovo myefox.it una nuova pista ciclabile e quindi una cyclette corso au inoltre un parco giochi, che dovrebbe essere inserito, ma solo in due settimane. La promessa già al festival di scuola dovrebbe essere infuriava lì, purtroppo, ha dovuto annullare, mi dispiace Albert Grimm. Ma la sicurezza viene prima.Il preludio musicale ha fatto la Drittkl? Ssler con? Puff, the Magic Dragon ", tablet PCsotto la direzione di Elisabetta Renzel-Müller.myefox.it Dopo Gru? Parola di Sindaco Reinhard Lindner e numerosi riconoscimenti, su cui ci riporterà, ha partecipato alla Prima - e Zweitkl ssler con l'umore Gangnam-style per?. È stato Dirige T? Nzerschar di Hanna Dalhausen e Andreas K? Nigsmann.Poi si è seduto ancora per piccoli e grandi più e tutti erano in grado di esplorare le numerose attrazioni che permettono

Tux
So this weekend my brother is getting married for the second time and I am the best man. So I'm taking him out Thursday night for a bachelors party and his wedding is on Saturday. So I have to put on a monkey suit. I really do not like wearing them, but I do have to admit I look good in one, hahaha. When I get some of the pics I'll post a few of them here. I also have some dreads for this weekend too. I have yet to be married and I know my parents are going to be hassling me about it, hahaha. But I understand why they do it, they want me to be happy. I just have not met the right woman at this point and time. Chris

Tux Diet
I have a large Black dog. I was buying a large bag of Tux Dog biscuits at a New World Supermarket and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (DUH!)On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Tux Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and with IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Tux nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is so nutritionally complete I was going to try it again.(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish setter&

The Tuxedo
Jennifer Love Hewitt is the only person that can make a Jackie Chan film suck. Okay, that's being too harsh by placing the blame on one person because the poorly mediocre script, and a director, who wanted to present this film like a bad high school movie instead of dare I say...gasp...secret agents (which is what the film is supposed to be, anyway), had contributed to this film's medeocrity. The film is about this a Chinese shoufer that's been assigned to shoufer a highly trained secret agent wearing a advanced tuxedo, a la James Bond type with gadgets galore, until he is put in the hospital by a gang of drug dealers. Now, it's up to Jackie Chan to put on the tuxedo and finish the mission with assistance of Jennifer Love Hewitt, whom thinks that Jackie is the original agent. Don't get me wrong. I love all of Jackie Chan's films (the ones released in the U.S. anyway) even though most of them are typically cliched and involve almost similar types of jokes. However, Jackie Chan's brillia

Tv
TV isn't bad Current mood: blah The real problem with television is that it doesn't suck. I mean, sure, 95% of it does, but there are plenty of programs which are creative, interesting, funny, dramatic, moving, etc. If there's nothing on, there are countless movies you can rent and watch. The problem is that television gives you the illusion of connection to other people and to the world. No matter how empty and pathetic your own life might be, you can turn on the television and let the stories and emotions wash over you. Movies and tv programs let you get to know their characters in intimate detail, you seem to share the most important experiences of their lives, as they fall in love, fight wars, cure diseases, defeat alien invaders, and so on. But of course, it's a false intimacy. You don't know these people, the characters and events you're vicariously experiencing probably never existed, and even if they did they're still not part of your life and never will b

T.v.
I'd like to talk about T.V. Something that I can't enjoy much cause I work nights. I would start a show then lose track of when there on or what day there on. We have the DVR thing but I'm still not used to it so I forget to record the shows. It's a crap shoot anyway. Sometimes it records the whole show sometimes it doesn't. So I've given up. What ever happened to showing a shows full season at once. I'm beginning to see a trend of showing a couple of months of new shows then the go on break until the new year. What's that crap all about. When I finally do get to get caught up on a show they show some new crap game show hosted by some washed up celeb. Those game shows are pretty impossible to win. It's like Black Jack the house always wins. Most shows now are on more then one station. Shown at least two to three times a week. So there is no excuse to miss a show, but if told me to click on the Bravo network, I'd first give you a blank stare. Then have to go to the guide and spend 20

Tv
You can get so caught up in T.V. and computers and anything that is media really. You can get caught up in anything really. How can you sleep if your high on crack...lol a riddle from Dave Chappelle. Anything in excess is bad. Anything can turn ugly. Dosen't that suck for everyone. =)

Tv
I really shouldn't write these things late at night when my happy yummy sleepy time medicene is kicking in. It has a tendency to scramble my wee brain - even more so than it has already been scrambled. Anyways, I was disappointed to learn today that "Studio 60" was officially axed by NBC. I really enjoyed that show. I thought the writing and direction was really clever. I kind of got hooked and I was bummed when it was taken off the schedule in January. But, I had hoped that it would come back on. No dice. I would have thought that with a name like Aaron Sorkin as the creator, it would have lasted. Shows what I know, I guess. Hmmmmmm...perhaps I shouldn't let that out. My side job as a "Coverage Writer" might be put in jeopardy. Someone is likely to take a script that I gave poor marks to, produce it, and make millions. They'll point out this blog as a good indication that I didn't know what the hell I was talking about. The best new show from this season? Yeah, I know, there

03-24-08 (tv)
March 24, 2004 While I was unable to log-on and with the yucky weather outdoors I found myself watching TV again. Not my usual sporting event playing while I hang with YOU on the fu either ... I was 'WATCHING' shows ... something I rarely have done these last couple of years I've been enjoying downtime it's been with YOU here on the fu. And I have this old style consol TV like the type your parents had ... That was actually a piece of furniture ... that there may of had photos on, Or lined with a doily overlay even? Instead of one that hangs on the wall like a photo & has the resolution like a window! I mean - TV's have grown up to be amazing technology that's astounding when you compare them to what we had as kids.

Tv
Real or Hoax? 1960′s Subliminal National Anthem Video Says ‘Obey Government’ “Rebellion will not be tolerated” Paul Joseph WatsonInfowars.comAugust 13, 2013 A creepy 1960′s national anthem video features subliminal messages encouraging the viewer to “obey,” “consume” and “trust the US government.” It sounds like something straight out of They Live, but is the clip genuine or a hoax? The video contains all of the following messages. While it’s difficult to read them all at normal speed, slowed down analysis reveals the following; - TRUST THE US GOVERNMENT- GOD IS REAL GOD IS WATCHING- BELIEVE IN GOVERNMENT GOD- REBELLION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED- OBEY CONSUME OBEY CO

Tv Advertising Blows!
Commercials. There are commercials that make me cringe everytime I see them. Not just the manditory vagina freshener or cooch pillows (with wings) ads. I'm talking about the ones that are just plain annoying, disturbing, retarded, etc. Redbull, It gives you wings. Red Eagle would be a more suitable name for that slogan. Hell, even Red Pigeon. I mean, how the heck does that name have anything to do with giving you wings? Unless of course you drink too much and overdose and then you might get wings (and a halo). How about "Red Bull: Go Fuck Shit Up" or even "Red Bull: Just Add Vodka". The King from Burger King ads. There is something seriously wrong with the people who thought this would make you want their product. Or is it really a threat? "Buy our food or this freak will stalk you relentlessly and/or kill you in your sleep." I think he might even be a molestor. He just has that look. AFLAC!!!! AFLAC!!! It sends a twitch through me. The kind of twitch th

T.v.adds I Would Love To See
feeling lonely, down, and depressed. Do youre parents blame you for the divorce? Did youre brother die in a drunk driving accident? Then try the elephants are awsome adopation program. Yes with elephants are awsome you will get one baby elephant who was left for dead after poachers killed the mother for a profit. Raise them from a little elephant until they can swallow you whole. Ask about our pateneted dog spatula perfect for scrapping the neighberhood dogs off stampys feet. Remember elephants are awsome for when you need a friend(or possibly an awkward relationship) Have people you dont like? have some one you want "out of the picture?" Need to eliminate that pesky boss to make deadline? Then look no further than Homicidal Hamsters. These hamsters are the remains of an army experiment gone wrong. (wow the army fuck up no way) These little bundles of "joy" were designed to get rid of osama and sadam they failed. So now that we have wasted youre hard earned tax money on something p

Tv And Music
This is a list of tv and music I cant (and will never) listen to ever again because of her... TV... Rescue Me The Sopranos NHRA Drag Racing Sunday NFL Football Music... Anything by any New Jersey Band, and or Singer... Hinder "Lips of an Angel" Daughtry (anything by him) Carrie Underwood "before SHE cheats" Billy Currington "Must be doing sumpin right" Stryper "Honestly" Anything by Journey Survivor "The search is over" Richard Marx "Right here waiting" 3 Doors Down "here without you" White Lion "Wait" Alicia Keys "Hold me like your..." Nicole (Pussycat Dolls) "Baby Love" Justin Timberlake "My Love" Gary Allen "Best I Ever Had" Reo Speedwagon (Anything) Stone Sour "ZZX Road" Berlin "Take My Breath Away" and many numerous others...

Tv And Cartoons Survey
name 10 classic cartoons your parents and you grew up watching1.)lil audrey2.)betty boop3.)lil lulu4.)popeye the sailor man5.)woody wood pecker6.)gabby7.)scooby doo8.)the jetsons9.)flintstones10.)felix the catname 10 shows you remember that were popular when you were a teen1.)REBOOT...been out for ever till i was a teen...got exciteing when enzo grew up with Aundrea2.)gundam wing3.)sailor moon...romantic4.)darkwing duck5.)talsepin6.)captain planet...because of him, global warming is coming sooner..haha7.)goofy8.)powerepuff girls9.)2 stupid dogs10.)thundercats....thunder, THUNDER THUNDER CATS...HOES!!!!, WAIT WHAT!!!!!name 10 cartoons and movies you grew up and loved watching 1.) bay bay kids2.)WE'RE BACK!!!3.)beauty and the beast4.)lion king5.)sleeping beauty6.)Aladdin7.)cinderella8.)little mermaid9.)ferngolly10.)teen mutant ninja turtlesname 10 shows you miss watching1.)beetle juice2.)freakazoid3.)hey arnold4.)ren and stimpy5.)rocko modern life6.)Daria7.)ahhhh monsters8.)angry beavers

Tv And Stuff
More on TV commercials Current mood: cantankerous Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities Ok, so I'm usually up quite late and I've noticed something...even withthe TV on in the other room. There are three commercials that are getting a lot of airtime, and they are as follows:1. Extenze male "enhancement" pills2.Lipozene- fat reducing pills3. Chat phone linesand I just remembered another one4. Girls Gone Wild DVD's (still?) Am I mistaken, or are these commercials directed at fat, lonely guys with little dicks? Are they trying to tell me something? Am I up way too late?The answer to all three questions is a definite "YES"Not that I need any of the feces they are smearing all over the airwaves, far from it. I wouldn't mind the Extenze product, however. Surprise the shit out of my girlfriend with that one. Guess what honey, I've been feeding it a good diet. Check it out! BWHAHAHAHA!!! Another beef I have with commercials on late at ni

Tvca2nl
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The Tv Guide Interview
You can now see the infamous TV guide interview about Bruce Willis and his Hollywood star (October 2006) on Howfamous.com's home page: http://www.howfamous.com/default.asp I was picked out of the crowd to be interviewed. I'm with Sarah who won Howfamous.com Game #4 (I won Game #5). Man - do I talk fast eh? Lol!! Enjoy your weekend! Melanie http://www.howfamous.com/WindowsMedia2/flvplayer.swf?file=watercooler.flv&image=WindowsMedia2

Tv Guide Campaign
www.tvguide.com/bzz FOR FRIENDS Don’t forget to send the people you Bzz to www.tvguide.com/bzz to enter TV Guide’s Red Carpet BzzAgent Sweepstakes! One of them has a great chance to win: air and hotel fare bleacher tickets along the red carpet to watch the stars arrive and an invitation to TV Guide’s After Party This sweepstakes is open to the public but is only advertised through BzzAgents in this Campaign — so spread the word to all your friends!

Tv Host Wanted
I am producing a new TV show and looking for a hot female between 21-30 years of age to co-host an adult topic TV show. You must be in Las Vegas, comfortable discussing adult topics, have a good clear speaking voice and comfortable in front of a camera. Please contact me here if interested. XOXO, Mikki

Tv Host Mark Speight 'found Dead'
TV host Mark Speight 'found dead' Family members had been appealing to Mr Speight to contact them The body of a man, believed to be missing TV presenter Mark Speight, has been found in a remote area of London's Paddington station, police have said. Officers are treating the death as "unexplained" but have confirmed that the man had not been hit by a train. Mr Speight, 42, disappeared last Monday, three months after the death of his fiancee, Natasha Collins. She was discovered in a bath at their flat in London after the pair had taken cocaine, sleeping pills and alcohol. The body of the man was found at about 1000 BST at the station. Mr Speight's relatives have been informed of the discovery, police said, but a formal identification has yet to take place. Mr Speight said in January he was "distraught" at Miss Collins' death Video footage from CCTV cameras at the station is to be studied by officers as part of their investigation. The presenter,

Tv Land || Watch Free Tv Shows Online :: The Land Of Tv Shows
TV Land is free TV shows online where you can review & watch the sneak preview of your favorite TV shows & favorite TV series in the form of Free TV on PC.

Tv Life
im 46 years old,born in 1960,the day of kenndy,camelot,and leave it to beaver,they killed kenndy and camelot, and there working on destroing leave it to beaver.slowly tearing apart the american family and way of life for greed,we spend billions to fight wars in countries where we are not even wanted,to seattle civil wars in which we dont belong. but yet we dump our menatlly disable on the streets to live in boxes.our children sit home alone while there parents slave away for minamum wage.our companies pump air jordans in our kids face for $200 a pop,that are made by exploted people for less then 5,(ok thats partially the stupid people who do bye em,cuz i do love my kids but,HELL NO).our oils companies treat us like there whores out on the streetslapping us every week asking,wheres my money?.and using any disaster to rape us and throw us back on the streets again.banks that want $8 to cash checks there own customers wrote.to me that should be illegal as hell.because you accepted a check

Tv Movies
.............i got that new verizon fios tv thing and stuff, and i was watching xxx: state of the union,the one with ice cube not vin diesel......i don't know what it is but that one was better than the first one......yeah. you don't get that alot excpet with the hulk movie and stuff ........just throwing that out there .....i think imma watch porn now lol

Tư Vấn Chọn đồ Dùng Cho Bé Khi Mùa đông đến
Mùa đông đã đến, việc trang bị những vật dụng cần thiết giúp bé yêu khỏe mạnh luôn là điều quan tâm của các bố mẹ. Hãy tham khảo theo những mách nước dưới đây để giúp bạn dễ dàng hơn khi chọn đồ phù hợp cho bé nhé. Quần áo ấm Bố mẹ khi chọn mua quần áo nên chọn chất liệu cotton mềm mại, vừa thoáng lại không gây kích ứng cho da bé. Về kiểu dáng, nên ưu tiên mua quần áo dài che kín tay chân, áo liền quần vừa giữ ấm vừa không bị hở lưng, hở bụng khi bé nô đùa. Ngoài ra, bé cũng cần áo khoác ngoài, áo len (không nên mua áo len cao cổ hay chui đầu cho bé sơ sinh), áo phao liền qu&#

Tư Vấn Chọn Quà Gì Khi Ra Mắt
Bên cạnh nỗi lo về hình thức, cách ứng xử sao cho hợp ý với bố mẹ người yêu, thì chọn quà gì trong ngày đầu tiên ra mắt khiến rất nhiều bạn trẻ đau đầu. Bởi món quà không chỉ thể hiện sự khéo léo mà còn mang cả tình cảm gửi gắm vào đó nữa. Siêu thị trực tuyến Mẹ và Bé xin gợi ý các bạn một số cách chọn quà sau:Chọn quà theo sở thích Bạn nên tìm hiểu xem, bố mẹ người yêu mình có sở thích như thế nào. Mỗi người có một sở thích khác nhau, nếu được nhận món quà đúng sở thích thì kể cả người khó tính nhất cũng hài lòng.Chọn quà theo mùa Gợi ý này luôn &#

Tư Vấn Chọn Mua Chăn đệm điện Nhung Woori Hàn Quốc
Woori là một trong những thương hiệu hàng đầu của Hàn Quốc trong lĩnh vực chăn điện, đệm điện. Chăn đệm điện Woori Hàn Quốc phong phú về màu sắc, đa dạng về chất liệu. Bố mẹ có thể thoải mái lựa chọn chăn điện sưởi ấm Hàn Quốc chất liệu vải cotton, chất liệu nhung hoặc chất liệu giả da. Chăn đệm điện nhung Hàn Quốc Woori được cấp giấy chứng nhận, kiểm định về chất lượng an toàn theo tiêu chuẩn Mỹ của các tổ chức có uy tín tại Hàn Quốc. Đệm điện hàn quốc có cấu tạo từ nhiều lN

Tv News
E-Mail News Alerts Get breaking news and daily headlines. Browse all e-mail newsletters Related To Story Video: Police: Hempfield Driver Hits, Kills Man After Day Of Drinking Police: Hempfield Driver Hits, Kills Man After Day Of Shots, Beers Young Grapeville Man Struck While Pushing Bike On Route 30 POSTED: 6:34 am EDT April 7, 2008 UPDATED: 1:50 pm EDT April 9, 2008 HEMPFIELD TOWNSHIP, Pa. -- Family and friends are coping with a young Grapeville man's hit-and-run death, which state police said came at the hands of a drunken driver in Hempfield Township. Matthew Snyder, of North Huntingdon, drank at least 10 shots and as many as 20 beers before taking the wheel of the vehicle that police say hit Christopher Allen Hays on Route 30 early Monday, according to police. "Now that he's gone, it's going to be so hard," said Jessica McFadden, 16, who had been dating Hays, 18, for more than a year. "He was the best boyfriend I ever had, and I wish he woul

Tv Networks Profit From Pot, But Won't Talk Of Legalization | Pot Legalization.com
http://www.potlegalization.com/tv-networks... Marijuana legalization is the hottest topic in the media these days. MSNBC, CNBC, CNN, FOX, NatGeo, and CBS News have presented special features on marijuana business, medical marijuana, and the marijuana legalization movement. Google Trends is showing double the interest in searches and news hits for the term “marijuana legalization”. Showtime’s hit series Weeds, about a suburban mom turned pot dealer, is entering its fifth season. Everywhere you look, corporate media are happy to profit from America’s most popular herb.

Tư Vấn Lựa Chọn đồ Sưởi Cho Gia đình
Mùa đông đến, mọi người quan tâm tới việc lựa chọn các thiết bị hỗ trợ sưởi ấm trong nhà như đèn sưởi, quạt sưởi, chăn điện, đệm điện. Siêu thị trực tuyến Mẹ và Bé xin đưa ra một vài gợi ý giúp bạn lựa chọn đồ sưởi phù hợp với gia đình mình.Quạt sưởi Quạt sưởi là dòng sản phẩm hiện đang thu hút được sự chú ý của rất nhiều gia đình trong mùa đông giá lạnh. Có thể sử dụng quạt sưởi để làm ấm nhanh phòng khách, phòng ngủ, sưởi hoặc sấy quần áo cho cả gia đình. Mẫu Quạt sưởi đ

.tv.n.pop.
let there be...tv. after only what? 3 weeks? it was pretty ok the first couple weeks... this past week has almost been an 'i want my mtv' kinda thing...cept mtv sucks...but ya get the point. im actually drinking a pop today. stop the presses i know. it really is superfantastic not having pepsi in the house. keeps the weight down... and the hyperactivity down to a minimum. children and caffeine should never ever mix. i detest the chemical reaction in their brains. makes me wanna go on a rampage. but today i needed some cash... n moms wanted a pop...so fuckit. one a month never hurt anyone or somethin else that makes sense. im tired. satan had me up at 8. less than thrilled. she's teething. its not pleasant in the least she dun wanna eat. she dun wanna sleep she just wants ta cry n sit in mah lap. eff that. theres a fly in the house i'll hafta have Munchkin go catch it for her terrarium. she'll dig that. *nod* i swear to christ if i read one more mu

Tv People Are Recockulous
i've found myself amused and disgusted, all @ the same time... ever notice how when people are trying to sell you some retarded product on television (that will not, in fact, make life any easier...but it IS guarenteed to take up closet space very well...) somehow these "special" folk manage to forget how to cut with a knife (90% of america would have many less fingers than they currently do...were they to weild a knife in such fashion) or how to answer a telephone, hang clothes in the closet, simply water a plant, anything to encourage laziness. and yes...i watch way too much television.

Tv Pitchman Billy Mays Found Dead At Florida Home
By MITCH STACY, Associated Press Writer Mitch Stacy, Associated Press Writer – Sun Jun 28, 4:35 pm ET TAMPA, Fla. – Billy Mays, the burly, bearded television pitchman whose boisterous hawking of products such as Orange Glo and OxiClean made him a pop-culture icon, has died. He was 50. Tampa police said Mays' wife found him unresponsive Sunday morning. A fire rescue crew pronounced him dead at 7:45 a.m. It was not immediately clear how he died. He said he was hit on the head when an airplane he was on made a rough landing Saturday, and his wife, Deborah Mays, told investigators he didn't feel well before he went to bed about 10 p.m. that night. There were no signs of a break-in at the home, and investigators do not suspect foul play, said Lt. Brian Dugan of the Tampa Police Department, who wouldn't answer questions about how Mays' body was found because of the ongoing investigation. The coroner's office expects to have an autopsy done by Monday afternoon. "Although B

Tv Presenter Beadle Dies Aged 59
TV presenter Beadle dies aged 59 Jeremy Beadle was best known for playing practical jokes on TV Television presenter and prankster Jeremy Beadle has died aged 59. One of ITV's most popular hosts during the 1980s, he was admitted to hospital last week suffering from pneumonia. He was best known for fronting You've Been Framed, Game For a Laugh and Beadle's About, but raised millions for the charity Children with Leukaemia. Former You've Been Framed producer Dianne Nelmes said he was known for his pranks, "but in reality he was the kindest person you could ever meet". Work rate Mr Beadle, who was born in Hackney, east London, leaves behind his wife Sue, daughters Cassie and Bonnie, and his stepchildren Leo and Claire. In his heyday, he regularly attracted television audiences of 15 million for Beadle's About and You've Been Framed. I loved and admired him and I shall miss him desperately Henry Kelly Obituary: Jeremy Beadle But in recent

Tv Review: "lil' Bush"
Before Sept. 11th, Comedy Central had a tv show called "That's My Bush". It made fun of US Pres. GW Bush (R-TX) without really judging his policy decisions. Now with a large anti-Bush crowd controlling the media, Comedy Central came out with "Lil' Bush". Plot: This a parody of the presidency of US Pres. GW Bush (R-TX) by showing his early years in school. Likes: The voice imitations are dead-on. Dislikes: It goes overboard in its criticism of Bush and the Lil' Dems. Kids Caution: Not for young kids since there is some foul language and violence towards kids. Out for four stars, I give this tv show 1 1/2 stars. It could be much better.

Tv Review: "tin Man" (2007)
I just finished watching the three part miniseries "Tin Man" that is a reworking of "The Wizard Of OZ". Plot: A young woman discovers friendship and family as she travels through the O.Z. Likes: OH MY GOD!! This is certainly a good reworking of the novel.; The story is unfolds slowly but is still full of action.; All the main characters become fully developed as the storyline progresses.; There are a few inside jokes referencing to the TWOO novel and film. Dislikes: Elphabia (i.e. the Wicked Witch of the West) is shown very little and not even mentioned by name. Kids Caution: There is some violence and language that may be too much for young children. Out of four stars, I give this miniseries 3 1/2 stars. A great miniseries that needed more WWW.

Tv Series
SERIES Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food . Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, pl

Tv Series Movies......
i am looking for some movies around and a bout .. if you have any of these let me know please.. WrestleMania 24 (Exclusive) or any wwe dvds WALKER TEXAS RANGER , ANY SEASON...2-9 FOR MY SON AS HE LOVES TO WATCH THEM !! THE COSBY SHOW , ANY SEASON DUKES OF HAZZARD SEASONS 1-7 MY SON LOVES THESE IS WHY IM LOOKING.!! CSI SEASONS .. 3-? 9 I THINK THERE IS OTHERS THAT IM LOOKING FOR SO IF YOU KNOW OF ANY LET ME KNOW PLZZ..IF YOU HAVE ANY PLEASE GIVE ME A SHOUT AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT...

Tv Shows
I like the following tv shows. Do you notice the pattern? 24 lost jericho battle star galactica stargate sg1 stargate atlantis Heroes the unit smallville monk csi law and order king of queens how i met your mother 2 and a half men answer.. no freakin reality tv shows! lmao

Tv Show Review: Family Guy's Star Wars Show
Plot: Peter tells his family of story of "Star Wars-Episode IV: A New Hope" when the power goes out in his home. Likes: The animation was great. Some scenes look like the actual footage from the 1977 release.; Even though the show condenses a 2 hour film into a 1 hour tv show, very few scenes from the film are left out.; The script is pretty much word-for-word from the film. Dislikes: Like the regular tv show, some jokes are funny but just as many fall flat. Out of four stars, I give it three stars. A good parody despite some of the poor jokes.

Tv Show Trivia
All American Idol Daily Trivia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ familiar with...family guy? Daily Trivia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grey's Anatomy Daily Trivia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Desperate Housewives Daily Trivia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOST the tv show Daily Trivia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All Smallville Daily Trivia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Simply Soprano's Daily Trivia

Tv Show Review: Cbs Evening News With Katie Couric
On 9-07-06, I watched CBS Evening News With Katie Couric for the first time. I watched it partly to she how she runs the new program, and partly because Rush Limbaugh was going to be on it. I thought that I would use the premier of her news show as a way to kick off my new series of tv show reviews. So here we go. Past Biases: I have never liked the CBS Evening News no matter who the anchor was. I always found it too liberal in its biases, and too willing to jump to conclusions before they got all the facts. I have also never been a big fan of Katie Couric on any tv show she has been on. The Show's Style: KC has a smooth and swift news show that covers about 10-15 topics in about 20 minutes. There is a good mix of various current event topics with a bit of fun and interviews thrown in. There is a segment called "Free Speech" in which anyone from the very famous to the average Joe/Jane discusses his/her view on a topic. (Tonight was Rush Limbaugh talking about the Iraqi War.)

Tv Show / 12 Corazones
HEY..GUESS WHAT..I WAS JUST ON TV LAST NIGHT HERE IN HOLLYWOOD..ON TELEMUNDO'S...TOP RATED TV SHOW..12 CORAZONES..OR 12 HEARTS. It's a dating show..in Spanish...& I was one of the girls on stage. I have plenty of closeups..plus 30 sec's of good video of me dancing..center stage..& on a pole..some HOT stuff..U gotta see it..lol The show won't air till next month..30 days from tape time... If U can..watch 4 it.. Kisses... Your GF Lily

Tv Show
Hey Everyone!! I was just on a TV show out here in beautiful downtown Burbank last Friday night..The Jose Luis Show!! We taped it on Friday night..March 13th 2009.. This was a bikini show..with 14 other beautiful girls.....even though I didn't win....still had fun!! The show airs in 8 western states...watch 4 it if u can..Jose Luis..google it.. xoxo Lily

2013 Tv Shopping Best Selling Modern Digital Cameras Z62
Make electricity purchased friends will ask: what to choose products that do TV shopping China's best Cameras comparison good? Recommend to everyone appearance grade, stylish and practical and has a price advantage of modern digital camera Z62! Park Hyatt digital supply HYUNDAI HDV modern digital cameras -Z62, monthly shipments of 100,000 units amazing record became the best-selling digital DV camcorders, TV shopping is a 2013 best-selling digital product.2013 best selling TV shopping products HYUNDAI modern digital camera Z62, 2013 Launched in January sales of over 600,000 units to friends, explosion models Camcorder DV, HYUNDAI modern digital camera Z62 deserved, since HYUNDAI modern digital camera HDV-Z62 Appearance grade , fashion, feel good, stable performance, factory direct supplier, stocking and sales are guaranteed. Select HYUNDAI modern digital camera HDV-Z62 do TV shopping products, performance will be quite amazing, every file program can take 200 or more. HYU

Tv Soap.......
B & K are good old friends, for more than 20 years: they worked together, shared and enjoyed the same things. K met C at highschool, lived and they had 3 kids; B met S at highschool, lived with her and... they have 3 kids. K has a good friend from highschool, B, who married C, a girl he met during his medecine studies. B has a good friend from highschool, M, who married M, a girl he met at a party. M and S became really close friends... B & S became friends with B & C and even became their next house neighbours. When they arrived there, B & S met again R, an old friend from highschool and his wife A, who isalso a friend of B & C, from university. By her work, A is also a friend of A and her husband V, other next house neighbours or B & S and B & C. A knows also V by her work, and her wife, I, who was the former girlfriend of G, a good old friend of K, C, B, C, B and S. When turning 40, many events happened... K was feeling unhappy and after many years, fina

Tv The Rest Of The Week
Thur - Sun didn't watch much TV. Thur didn't have anything worth watching. Friday and Saturday I'm out with friends, but Las Vegas, Moonlight and Women's Mystery Club would be what I'm watching if I was a home. Sundays I usualy watch DVD and this sunday was The Critic.

Tvtv Pilot Episode One
My Uncle Has actually been in the prosses of creating his own tv show and been trying to get it on Adult swim. Hes actually working on the end of the first season and starting the second. They have been writing and taping the show in Minneapolis Minnesota. Its a All puppet cast but unlike most puppet shows this show is geared twords adults and collage age students. (Not safe for kids!) A 900 year old vampire and his monster minions take over an obscure Transylvanian television station. With worldwide broadcast power and the improbable ability to reanimate dead TV shows, and... well, you can see where this is going. It gets kinda weird. Check out the first episode here! Watch Transylvania Television - Pilot in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com Here is the Link to there Home page! Hope you enjoy! http://www.transylvania-tv.com/index.html

Tv? What Tv?
TV? What TV? by Halos © I am sitting in the living room watching TV alone. I can hear you typing on the computer in the other room. My computer is down for the moment and I have been too lazy to fix it or I would be in there with you. It has been a long couple of days since you an I haven't gotten along all that great. I hate when we argue, but this one like any of the others will go away once the hurt feelings are healed. You ask me what I am watching and I say that I'm watching the Raiders loss as always. You laugh at that and tell me you will probably be awhile on the computer. I think to myself that is probably more fun then what I'm doing at the moment. It's been a dismal year for my team and things don't look like they are going to get better anytime soon. I get up to head to the bathroom and to get a drink. On my way back I look in on you but see that you're not sitting in your chair. I shrug my shoulders and head back to the living room. As I get there I notice the

The Twanger Song Lmao
The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana... Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four.... " George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?" Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up" We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it. Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in" Geoffrey: "You managed it last night" Bungle: "I know, let's try it round the other way around. Ooooooh, I've got it in" Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George" George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself, Geoffrey (to camera) " Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing" Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?" Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?" George: "Yesterday we played with our balls. Are we going to play with our friend's balls today?" Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well." Geoffrey (to camera): Have you seen Bungl

'twas The Night Before Christmas
He Lived All Alone, In A One Bedroom House, Made Of Plaster And Stone. I Had Come Down The Chimney, With Presents To Give, And To See Just Who, In This Home Did Live. I Looked All About, A Strange Sight I Did See, No Tinsel, No Presents, Not Even A Tree. No Stocking By Mantle, Just Boots Filled With Sand, On The Wall Hung Pictures, Of Far Distant Lands. With Medals And Badges, Awards Of All Kinds, A Sober Thought, Came Through My Mind. For This House Was Different, It Was Dark And Dreary, I Found The Home Of A Soldier, Once I Could See Clearly. The Soldier Lay Sleeping, Silent, Alone, Curled Up On The Floor, In This One Bedroom Home. The Face Was So Gentle, The Room In Such Disorder, Not How I Pictured, A United States Soldier. Was This The Hero, Of Whom I'd Just Read? Curled Up On A Poncho, The Floor For A Bed? I Realized The Families, That I Saw This Night, Owed Their Lives To These Soldiers Who Were Willing To Fight. Soon

A "twas The Night" Orgy
A "Twas the Night" Orgy by The Erotic Elves © 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the net People were horny--steamy and wet; The pussies were dripping as they soon knew That the cocks around them were stiffening, too; The ladies were ready, willing, and spread The men kneeling down, giving them head; Santa squeezed down the chimney, hoping to fuck; But found halfway down that he became stuck. A pole was stuck up his arse with some force, poor Santa thought he'd been kicked by a horse. They tried and they tried, but they couldn't unstick, He was wedged in the chimney by the size of his dick. The poledancers gathered round and had an idea, Perhaps if they sucked Santa's cock he could get himself clear. One by one, they sucked on his knob, knowing this wasn't a one-dancer job. The elves wondered how they could help, too, so they opened their mouths and awaited his goo. While they waited, the elves passed the time, by fucking the

Twas The Night Before Samhain
'Twas the night before Samhain and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring except for my spouse. The incense it burned in his Caldron so black, For witchcraft and magic he'd a wondrous knack. The circle was drawn with the athame of power, The guardians were called to each quarter tower. The Lord and the Lady attended our rite, In wonder and glory and power and might. The dearly departed came as our guest, To live once again after their rest. We bid them goodbye with a tear in our eye, Such a lovely presence of loved ones so nigh. The candles danced in the flickering light. With the Great Rite we bid them all a good night. The guardians thanked, have all sped away. The Lord and the Lady, thanks for the day. The night before Samhain, Gods Bless this house. A circle of wonder 'round me and my spouse.

T'was The Night Before Samhain
T'was the night before Samhain and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring except for my spouse. The insence it burned in his cauldron so black. For Witchcraft and magic he'd a wonderous knack. The circle was drawn with the athame of power. The guardians were called to each quarter tower. The Lord and the Lady attened our rite In wonder and glory and power and might. The dearly departed came as our guests, to live once again after their rest. We bid them goodbye with a tear in our eye. Such a lovely presence of loved ones so nigh. The candles danced in the flickering light. With the Great Rite we bid them all a good night. The guardians thanked have all sped away. The Lord and the Lady, thanks for the day. The night before Samhain, Gods bless this house, A circle of wonder 'round me and my spouse. unknown author

Twas The Evening Of Samhain
Twas the Evening of Samhain. Twas the evening of Samhain, and all through the place were pagans preparing the ritual space. The candles were set in the corners with care, in hopes that the Watchtowers soon would be there. We all had our robes on (as is habitual) and had just settled down and were starting our ritual when out on the porch there arose such a chorus that we went to the door, and waiting there for us were children in costumes of various kinds with visions of chocolate bright in their minds. In all of our workings, we'd almost forgot, but we had purchased candy (we'd purchased a LOT), And so, as they flocked from all over the street, they all got some chocolate or something else sweet. We didn't think twice of delaying our rite, Kids just don't have this much fun every night. For hours they came, with the time-honored schtick of giving a choice: a treat or a trick. As is proper, the parents were there for the games, Watching

Twas The Night Before Christmas
THIS WAS WRITTEN BY AN UNKNOWN SOLDIER TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A MARINE, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE MARINE LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I 'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED T

Twas The Night Of Thanksgiving,
TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP. THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION, THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION. SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE FULL OF GOODIES GALORE I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES, PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES. I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND, 'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND. I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING, AND, A HANDFUL OF PIE BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES, HAPPY EATING TO ALL; PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP, MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP, MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS, MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE, MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING

Twas' The Night Before Xmas(adult Version)
: Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. : Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. : Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. : When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. : Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. crash : His suit

Twas The Night Before Christmas....2006
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS by Clement Clarke Moore Tweaked by TILTED 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, they were all drunk and soused; The stockings were hung by that ho over there, In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon find HIS pair The kids were asleep, Nyquil gone to their heads, While visions of excess kept them in their beds; And mamma in her teddy, climbed in my lap, We had just settled down for a long winter's *cough* nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew flashing my ass, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my traumatized eyes should appear, But Santa bent over, exposing his rear, That jolly old boozehound, so nauseous and sick, I knew by the stagger it must be

Twas The Night Before Christmas, (naughty Version)
Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat, The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or

Twas Da Night Befo' Christmas
Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly I bounced to the window at a quarter pas' Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's-- well anyway I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this! She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness I said, for real doe, come check dis out We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that! He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz, "Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise! To the top of the projects and across the strip mal

Twas The Month Before Christmas
Twas the month before Christmas... Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. See, the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a " Holiday ". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now

Twas The Night Before Christmas....ooo Tear Breaker!
REPOST THIS ITS BEAUTIFUL TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I 'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVE

Twas The Night Before Christmas
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I 'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE

Twas The Night Before Christmas (bdsm Style)
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the domain, Not a subbie was stirring, (they were tied down with chain) The shackles were hung by the chimney with care, And the St. Andrews cross stood empty and bare. The subbies were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of floggers danced in their heads; The Dom in his leather, and I in my slave cap, Had just settled down after getting our whacks. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I crept from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew very quickly. Tripped over some handcuffs and cursed soft and thickly. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my sleep-crusted eyes should unfurl, But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight pony girls, With a Dominant driver, so forbidding and stern, I knew in a moment I'd a great deal to learn. More rapid than eagles his pony girls came

~~twas The Month Before Christmas~~
Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. See the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a "Holiday". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sea

Twas The Night...
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the domain, Not a subbie was stirring, (they were tied down with chain) The shackles were hung by the chimney with care, And the St. Andrews cross stood empty and bare. The subbies were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of floggers danced in their heads; The Dom in his leather, and I in my slave cap, Had just settled down after getting our whacks. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I crept from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew very quickly. Tripped over some handcuffs and cursed soft and thickly. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my sleep-crusted eyes should unfurl, But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight pony girls, With a Dominant driver, so forbidding and stern, I knew in a moment I'd a great deal to learn. More rapid than eagles his pony girls came, And he whipped them, and shouted

Twas The Night Befor Yule
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE YULE and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except for my spouse. The incense, it burned in our cauldron so black, For Witchcraft and Magick we'd a wonderful knack. The circle was drawn with the athame of power, The guardians were called to each quarter tower. The Lord and Lady attended our rite, In wonder and glory and power and might. The dearly departed came as our guest, To live once again, after their rest. We bid them goodbye with a tear in our eye, Such a lovely presence of loved ones so nigh. The candles danced in the flickering light, With the Great Rite we bid them all a good night. The guardians, thanked, have all sped away, The Lord and Lady, thanked for the day. The night before Yule, Gods bless this house, A circle of wonder 'round me and my spouse. TO ALL MY FRIENDS HAPPY YULE FIREWALKER DRAGON CLAN............. .

Twas The Night Before Xxmas
twas the night before christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring,except for that fucking little mouse,while the family is tucked in there beds and one in the chair, visions of pornstars and tits that be bear,our stalkings were hung from the chimminny with care in hopes for the treats wich soon would be there,with mom at the whore house and dad smoking grass, I had just settled down with a nice piece ass, when all of a sudden there rose such a cladder, so I sprung from my piece to see whats the matter, well out on the lawn I saw a huge dick, I knew at that moment it must be saint nick, he crashed down the chimminy like a bat out of hell ,from the swearing and screaming I knew the fucker had fell, he filled our stalkings with pretzells and beer, and a big rubber dildo for my brother the queer,he threw away the cookies,and spilled the milk on the floor,then I herd him gulp and he let out a roar,I knew it was my whisky when his dick hit the floor,he stumbled and fummbl

'twas The Night Before Christmas (at 7-11)
This is inspired by a true story I spent last Christmas in San Diego. On Christmas Eve, I went over to my friend, Donald’s house. He and his wife, Candy, are my two best friends from law school. Donald lives in this townhouse complex and at the top of the hill is a 7-11 convenience store. Donald likes to drive around the complex and up to the 7-11 in this golf car he bought and modified. So, I’m over there having drinks when we ran out of munchies and booze. So, half-drunk already, we jumped in the golf cart and “drove” up to the 7-11. We walked in and there’s this black guy in a Santa suit buying cigarettes and booze. It inspired me to write a story about it. This is done to the rhythm of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas.... By the way, before anybody gets bent out of shape about me making fun of a black Santa, it wasn’t so much that as the fact the guy was drunk and buying crap at 7-11. Also, my friend Donald, he’s black. Enjoy: 'Twas the night before Christmas,

Twas The Night Before Christmas Military Style
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WIL

'twas The Night Before Christmas..wow What A Mess
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorize

Twas The Night Before Christmas, This Is A Good One! Please Read!
IT WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I 'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEI

Twas The Month Before Christmas
Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. See the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a "Holiday". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton,

Twas The Night Of Submission
Twas the Night of Submission Twas the night of submission and all through my soul My desires were stirring and taking their toll The chores I'd been given were performed with care In the hopes that my Master soon would be there I patiently waited alone in my bed With visions of Master filling my head Wearing nothing but anguish as the moments slipped past I wondered when Master would be here at last When all of a sudden he stepped through the door The bulk of his boot heels striking the floor In his gloved hand he carried a whip And he smiled with delight while biting his lip His chest rose and fell with the pulse of his breath And I knew that my limits would be put to the test Addictively handsome, who else could it be? The one I call Master, he who made me! “Roll on your stomach” he instructed of me “And close your eyes. I don't want you to see.” He acquired some rope and synched me up tight And put on a blindf

Twas The Night Before Christmas
IT'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE W

Twas The Night Jesus Came
Twas the Night Jesus Came'Twas the night Jesus cameAnd all through the house,Not a person was praying,Not one in the house.The Bible was leftOn the shelf without care,For no one thoughtJesus would come there.The children were dressingTo crawl into bed,Not once ever kneelingOr bowing their head.And Mom in the rocking chairWith babe on her lap,Was watching the Late ShowAs I took a nap.When out of the eastThere rose such a clatter,I sprang to my feet

" Twas "
'Twas the night before Friday and all through the town, no cops were cruising, no narks were around. As we all rolled our joints to be put in our sacks, we knew that soon we'd be stoned to the max. We drank Jack Daniel's And smoked Panama Red, a hit of tea and man I felt dead. We were all up that midnight all of the day, when there was a knock at the door that gave us away. There stood a man wearing a smile, so we invited him in to party a while. What to our red, glassy eyes should appear, two pounds of Columbia and a case of beer. So we sat down and he started to roll, filled up a glass and lit up a bowl. We ask the man what was his name, he said Saint Nichol and drugs is my fame. So as the man strutted out of sight, he said mari-ju-ana to all and to all a good night.

Twas The Night Before Christmas..this Is For Our Troops
T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CA

Twas The Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse. The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head. Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while Upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, Went into the kitchen and started to clean. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror. The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN." With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox. Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name: "Now Dillard's, now Broa

Twas The Night Before Christmas...
Twas the night before Christmas When all through our house The kids were going crazy Running all about Their stockings were hung by the chimney with care With my threats of coal being put in them Screamed through the air Off to their beds their fun was done To dream of Santa on his midnight run Drew with the screw driver Cursing my mom For the buying little furballs Requiring screwdrivers to put batteries In everyone. Here in the recliner I do sit Wishing I could go to bed So Santa could get on with it But no such luck Just like every year I'm to play an elf Like all parents Far and near... So now my friends

Twas Da Night Before Christmas
T'was the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, > In a one bedroom house, made of plaster and stone. > > I had come down the chimney, with presents to give, > And to see just who, in this home did live. > > I looked all about, a strange sight I did see, > No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree. > > No stocking by the mantle, just boots filled with sand, > On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands. > With medals and badges, awards of all kinds, > A sober thought came through my mind. > > For this house was different, it was dark and dreary, > I found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly. > The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone, > Curled up on the floor, in this one bedroom home. > > The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder, > Not how I pictured, a war weary soldier. > Was this the hero, of whom I'd just read?, > Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed? > > I realized the families, that I saw this night, > Owed their li

T’was The Night Before Christmas…
Kerry carefully hung the last, tiny wooden ornament on the tree, stepping back to inspect her work when she was done. “There.” She turned and faced the dark haired, long limbed woman sprawled on the couch watching her. “How’s that?” Dar tilted her head to one side and reviewed the tree. “Is that the last one?” She stroked the head of a cream colored Labrador who was snoozing on the couch next to her. “Yep.” Kerry folded her arms across her chest. “Good, because I think one more and we’d have an avalanche on our hands.” Dar chuckled, grinning when Kerry gave her a mock glower. “It’s perfect, Ker.” She relented, admiring the eight foot tall spruce adorned with lights, tinsel, garlands, and a plethora of twinkling ornaments. “The only thing missing is chestnuts roasting on an open fire.” “Well, unless you want to stand in the kitchen with me and hold them over the gas burners…” Kerry walked over and sat down next to Dar. “We’ll just have to cope since we have no open fire

'twas The Night Of Thanksgiving
'TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING 'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned - the dark meat and white, But I fought the temptation with all of my might. Tossing and turning with anticipation, The thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, 'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky, With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie. But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees.... Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries, please. May your stuffing be tasty, your turkey be plump. Your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious, your pies take the

‘twas The Night Before Christmas'
‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS' 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, THEY LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SA

Twas Always,...you
There's something about my love, it seem's never ending, with you around now all it wants to keep on sending. From near death you took my heart and did all its critical mending, I'm stronger now, so peaceful that my heart has no pain pending. When you gave me your heart and part of your soul, that day i became someone,...someone whole, i gave onto you my life, my heart, my mind, offering my body like temple just to get my soul. When your down and feeling ill, I would do anything even act out your favorit movie or tv show. And the funny thing is all these emotions are never resting, infact they keep seeming to grow, just seeing your smile seems to have this effect that when you do, you seem to out-right glow. Now is reason's to live, reason's to breath, those are the reasons that you have ME! By Crow jan 31 2007

T'was The Day Before Easter
T'was The Day Before Easter By Tammy Fuller Twas the day before Easter and all through the woods, The bunnies were busy packing their goods. The eggs were all colored so pretty and bright, All things were "go" for the big, special night. The baskets were waiting, all decorated with care, In hopes that the Bunny soon would be there. My little brother Sam was asleep in his bed, While visions of Easter eggs rolled round his head. And I in my pajamas with the cat on my lap, I had just settled down for a quick little nap. When outside the window I heard a great noise, I sprang from my chair and jumped over some toys. As quick as a flash to the window I flew, I pulled up the shade and, OH, what a view. The moon on the meadow cast a bright golden glow And the wind blew the flowers to and then fro. Then all of a sudden from out of nowhere, Came some lively bunnies, hopping here, hopping there! Leading the group with ears long and funny Was a plump all-white rabbi

T'was The Day Before Easter
T'was The Day Before Easter Twas the day before Easter and all through the woods, The bunnies were busy packing their goods. The eggs were all colored so pretty and bright, All things were "go" for the big , special night. The baskets were waiting, all decorated with care, In hopes that the Bunny soon would be there. My little brother Sam was asleep in his bed, While visions of Easter eggs rolled round his head. And I in my pajamas with the cat on my lap, I had just settled down for a quick little nap. When outside the window I heard a great noise, I sprang from my chair and jumped over some toys. As quick as a flash to the window I flew, I pulled up the shade and , OH, what a view. The moon on the meadow cast a bright golden glow And the wind blew the flowers to and then fro. Then all of a sudden from out of nowhere, Came some lively bunnies, hopping here, hopping there! Leading the group with ears long and funny Was a plump all-white rabbit... That'

Twas The Night Before Surgery And All Through The House Everyone Was Normal Exept For The
MOUSE....... you know its funny the things my mind has conjured up today.. now i know what you are all thinking your thinking amanda ( that would be me) people have surgerys all the time......right keyword being people.... not amanda.. so therefore i have a tendency to let my mind wonder.. if something did in fact go wrong while i was under tomorrow...well i started thinking how should i do my makeup what would be the last thing i wore to the surgery.. vain huh.. no not really when the two people that are there see me off later in life they will remember me walking to the back.. and what cloths i was wearing so if you new you were going to die what would you where...some only like you know that saddam guy got to pick his cloths.... and if today was truly my last day well i didnt do much.. except things i wouldnt have wanted to do on my last day,, but then it hit me its not about just today its about the full 27 years..... and how different people would remember me.... then it

Twas The Night Before Washington
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE WASHINGTON AND ALL THROUGH THE BUS NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING NOT EVEN A MOUSE. ALL THE CHILDREN WERE NESTLED ALL SNUG IN THEIR SEATS WITH VISIONS OF THE CAPITOL AND THE PENTAGON DANCING IN THEIR HEADS. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I AWAKE TO THE SOUND OF "AUNT BECKY I'M GONNA BE SICK".ALLY ATE SHRIMP THAT NIGHT AT CRACKER BARREL BEFORE WE LEFT AND I GUESS THEY DECIDED THEY WERE NOT THROUGH SWIMMING. I TOLD HER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND BEING THE DRAMA QUEEN SHE IS ALLY COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM THROWS HER HANDS IN THE AIR AND SAYS " OH NO I CAN'T DO THIS". IT'S 2:30 AM AND THIS CHILD GOES DOWN THE AISLE SAYING "STOP THE BUS I'M GONNA BE SICK". SO HERE I GO DOWN THE AISLE. PICTURE THIS KIDS LAID OUT EVERYWHERE . I'M TRIPPING OVER BLANKETS ,LEGS , EVERYTHING IN THE AISLE WHILE THE BUS IS GOING 70 MPH DOWN THE INTERSTATE. WE FINALLY GET THE BUS STOPPED AND I GET OUT TO ALLY AND SHE IS ALL SPRAWLED OUT ON THE GROUND. WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE AND SHE IS ALL OUT IN TH

'twas Never For...
'twas Not for... 'twas not for...worms delighting in carrion remain on a field of toils end, 'neath black cloaking rain. Opacity tempt all...forget why this came to pass. At extremities end...tears fall at the last. 'twas not for the silent drum... echoed cadence only remembered; Twas not for... the bugles call; the voice now quiet; a corroded ember. 'twas not for...duty or honor; blood soaked ground; is only horror... banal drive preceded by annals sway... persuaded towards this hackneyed day. 'twas not for...promised land and lore; mendacity rule those chronicles core... Twas not for...black monument liberation, or for crosses bared and salvation. 'twas not for...fire or for perdition; midnight world of reining superstition... All claim enlightenment; their vision is greater; into the void with you; "YOU" meet your maker... 'twas always searching... for Balance in the true mind's eye; seek the answers within; symmetry defined... Reality I know

Twas The Night Before Saints Camp...
Twas the night before Saints Camp and despite all the frenzy, Not an interception was missed, not even by McKenzie. The jerseys were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that a Lombardi trophy would soon be there. Drew Brees was nestled all snug in his bed with no thoughts of indictments filling his head. Marques wore his grip glove, Fred Thomas his cast and pledged “I won’t get burned this year, I’ll be super-fast!” The backup QBs in their black and gold caps joked “Let’s ‘pull a Romo’ and fumble some snaps!” When out on the field there arose such a clatter. Dhani put down his bow tie to see what was the matter. Away to the window Copper flew like a flash, But it was only Joe Horn throwing his career in the trash. Another loud noise gave the boys quite a fright …must mean more gunshots in Uptown tonight. When, what to their wondering eyes should appear But Coach Sean Payton - and his eyes full of tears. He unchained his dog once so lively and quick, and

'twas Not A Very Good Day On Tuesday!
For most of you, I'm in a contest to win a gift certificate from Golfballs.com by making a golfshoe design. I was able last week to get my rating up to 2.38 out of 5 stars(which made the top 15-25). But now I have fallen from 2.31 yesterday to 2.10 early this morning. While that still keeps me in the top 25(barely), im starting to feel a little worn down trying to get the word out for other to vote for it. In other words, I think I need some help from everyone to not only keep up but too get over the top as well. So, if you could take a few extra seconds & go Vote 5 Stars if you haven't already. Or repost this, so that your friends can help too. I can't thank you guys enough already. I'm just hopeful that I still continue to get all of you support in my venture. Thanks. If you still haven't voted or would like to help me out in my contest, click the link below & vote "5 STARS" for my design. It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again for your help.

'twas Halloween Night
'Twas Halloween night as I leaped from my bed, With thoughts of amusement going through my head. Turned off my computer and thought as I may Of vampires of old and vampires of today. Of spooky old movies and Halloween parties, Of course trick or treating (hope they don't hand out Smarties). And witches and ghosts and gravediggers, I fear, So that old haunted house, I will never go near. When you see spooky places, just take my advice, And don't go in rooms filled with ghosts, bats, and mice. So don't risk your life going looking for spooks, Just go to a party with some good friendly kooks. Or gather your family, carve a pumpkin and think What to have your kids do, and go pick up a drink. Tell a joke to your friends, but be careful, you'll see That a couple wrong moves might mean eternity. Now put on that costume and dress yourself up. You can be Ninja Nun or that RCA Pup. But be very careful or else you might see That ghosts and vampires aren't really PC.

Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas the Night Before Christmas Current mood: happy 'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a usty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig

T'was Just A Dream
You've just turned off your computer after reading all of the messages. You decide it's time for you to go to bed. As you climb between the cool sheets, I can tell what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. You can't see me but there I am. Standing in the shadows watching and waiting. As you turn off the light, I wait patiently for you to go to sleep. My heart is pounding wildly against the thin fabric of the gown that flows over my naked body. Covering all that is there that will make you stiff. I want you. As I watch you drift into a half sleep, I long for you. I move from my hiding place slowly across the room to the bed, which you lie upon. Your breathing is even and slow. I gently nudge against your bed, shaking it only enough to make you turn over to gaze at me with half sleepy eyes. My hands slowly move over the roundness of my breasts, down to my smooth stomach caressing my hips, my thighs. As you watch me you wonder how I have gotten here to where you are, but you

Twas The Night Before Christmas Fubar Style
Have a very FUBAR Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the site, Not a member was stirring, things didn’t seem right; The Stilletto Girls hung their stockings with care, In hopes that Baby J soon would be there; The bombers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of bouncers danced in their heads; With Stang in her 'thong, and JD in his cap, Someone heard Scrapper yell Good Lord and Oh snap, When from our speakers there arose such a clatter, We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter. Away to the monitor we flew like a flash, Oh it’s just Achilles updating his stash. So to the mumms did many of us go Nothing but whining from a Fubar point ho, When, what to our wondering eyes came along, A miniture sleigh pulled by eight girls in a thong, With a little drunk driver, so lively and gay, We knew in a moment it must be Baby J. More rapid than eagles his members they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by n

Twas The Night Before Christmas Fubar Style Courtesy Of Dawn
Have a very FUBAR Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the site, Not a member was stirring, things didn¡¯t seem right; The Stilletto Girls hung their stockings with care, In hopes that Baby J soon would be there; The bombers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of bouncers danced in their heads; With Stang in her 'thong, and JD in his cap, Someone heard Scrapper yell Good Lord and Oh snap, When from our speakers there arose such a clatter, We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter. Away to the monitor we flew like a flash, Oh it¡¯s just Achilles updating his stash. So to the mumms did many of us go Nothing but whining from a Fubar point ho, When, what to our wondering eyes came along, A miniture sleigh pulled by eight girls in a thong, With a little drunk driver, so lively and gay, We knew in a moment it must be Baby J. More rapid than eagles his members they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by

'twas The Night Of Thanksgiving...
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned - The dark meat and white But I fought the temptation With all of my might. Tossing and turning with anticipation The thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, 'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie. But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees.... Happy eating to all - Pass the cranberries, please. May your stuffing be tasty, May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes 'n gravy Have nary a lump, May your yams be delicious May your pies take the prize, May your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off of your thig

"twas The Night Of Thanksgiving........
'TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP,I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE,BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.TOSSING AND TURNING IN ANTICIPATION,THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.SO I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR,AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND, 'TILL ALL OF A SUDDEN I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING FLOATING INTO THE SKY,WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.BUT I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES,HAPPY EATING TO ALL, PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE.MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP,MAY YOUR POTATOES AND GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP.MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS, MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.

T'was The Night Before Christmas (fubar Style!)
Have a very FUBAR Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the site, Not a member was stirring, things didn¡¯t seem right; The Stilletto Girls hung their stockings with care, In hopes that Baby J soon would be there; The bombers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of bouncers danced in their heads; With Stang in her 'thong, and JD in his cap, Someone heard Scrapper yell Good Lord and Oh snap, When from our speakers there arose such a clatter, We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter. Away to the monitor we flew like a flash, Oh it¡¯s just Achilles updating his stash. So to the mumms did many of us go Nothing but whining from a Fubar point ho, When, what to our wondering eyes came along, A miniture sleigh pulled by eight girls in a thong, With a little drunk driver, so lively and gay, We knew in a moment it must be Baby J. More rapid than eagles his members they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by

Twas The Night B4 Christmas
twas the night before christmas and all through the house not a creature was fucking not even a mouse moms at the whore house dads smokin grass i had just settled down for a nice piece of ass then out in the yard i seen a big dick i knew in a moment it must be saint nick he flew down the chimney like a bat out of hell i couldnt believe that fat fucker had fell he filled all our stockings with pretzles and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer he tore up the chimeny with a thunderous fart that son of a bitch blew the chimney apart he bitched and he cussed as he flew out of sight piss on you all and have a good night

'twas The Night Before Christmas - Ebonics Version
'Twas The Night Before Christmas - Ebonics Version Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly I bounced to the window at a quarter pas' Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's-- well anyway I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this! She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness I said, for real doe, come check dis out We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that! He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz, "Ay yo, give it up, let's m

'twas The Night After Christmas
The Night After Christmas 'Twas the night after Christmas, his duties were done. Now Santa was looking to have him some fun. His stockings were flung on the floor and the chair, And over the mantle his used underwear. Mrs. Claus was as nervous as a blushing school girl. Watching as Santa's desire did unfurl. "Oh take me, you big boy!" she started to shout. And Santa responded by whipping it out. Santa arose with a big booming clatter. He was horny as hell, his dick growing fatter. "Fuck Donner and Blitzen, the elves and the toys. Show me what comes to very bad boys." From the front and the back, he gave her a fuck, And squeezed her big boobies to bring him good luck. His face was all red. His heart threatened to stall, As his pearly white semen splattered the wall. "Oh Santa," she cried, with moans of delight. "Boys need to be naughty, to have a good night."

Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode Only one creature was stirring, & she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of N-64 & Barbie, flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed bicycle propped on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, which made her sigh, "Now what is the matter?" With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, She descended the stairs, & saw the old man. He was covered with ashes & soot, which fell with a shrug, "Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug." "Ho Ho Ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake." "Your gift was especially difficult to make." "Thanks, Santa, but all I want is time alone." "Exactly!" he chuckled, "So, I've made you a clone." "A clone?" she muttered, "What good is that?" "Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit chat." Then out walked the clone - The mother'

Twas The Night Before Sexmas!!!
Twas The Night Before SEXMAS!!! Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat, The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Eit

Twas The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer Not a creature was stirrin' 'Cept a redneck named Taylor. His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle, And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle. His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul stench in the air. That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys. There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11; Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7. John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3: The twins were both girls So they let them be. They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt, Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk. They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall. There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all. Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll! The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw." Maw was expecting And needed her sleep, So out they crept out the door Without making a peep. They all looked around, and then th

Twas The Night Before Christmas
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE EVERYONE WAS PISSED EVEN THE MOUSE DAD AT THE WHORE HOUSE MOM SMOKING GRASS HAD JUST SETTLED DOWN FOR A NICE PIECE OF ASS THEN CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT FAT FUCKER HAD FELL HE FILLED ALL THE STOCKINGS WITH PRETZELS AND BEER AND A BIG RUBBER DICK FOR MY BROTHER THE QUEER HE ROSE UP THE CHIMNEY WITH A HELL OF A FART THAT SON OF A BITCH BLEW MY CHIMNEY APART HE SWORE AND HE CURSED AS HE FLEW OUT OF SIGHT PISS ON YOU ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT MONEYS SHORT TIME IS HARD SO HERES YOUR FUCKING CHRISTMAS CARD

T'was The Night Before Christmas Rated "r"
T'was the night before Christmas and god it was neat The kids were both gone, my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky by hook or by crook. My wife in her teddy and I in the nude Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn I heard such a cry, That I lost my boner, her pussy went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shades while she played with herself The moon on the crest of the snowman we built, Showed a broom up his ass clean up to the hilt. When what do my wondering eyes appear But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver half out of his sled, A sock on his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking he was high as a kite And he yelled to his team and it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow the fuck down or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post and don't hit the tre

T'was The Night Before Christmas (soldiers Version)
I got this as a post on myspace and I was just moved by it so I wanted to post it here. Thanks for reading. TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF W

'twas The Night Before Christmas' - Twisted...hehehe
'Twas the night before Christmas, and damn it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for

Twas The Month Before Christmas
TWAS THE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS God Bless Our Christmas and it's meaning 'Twas the month before Christmas when all through our land, Not a Christian was praying nor taking a stand. Why the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angel s and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a " Holiday ". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets are hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penney's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it

Twas The Month Before Christmas
Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Or taking a stand. See the PC Police had taken away The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, about the shepherds, wise men, angels and things. "It might hurt people's feelings", the teachers would say "December 25th is just a 'Holiday'." Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit, Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CD's from Madonna, an X-Box, an Ipod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down, At Lowe's the word "Christmas" was nowhere to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penney's and Sears You won't hear the word "Christmas"; it won't touch your ears. "Inclusive", "sensitive", "di-ver-si-ty" Are words that are used to intimidate me.

'twas The Month Before Christmas........ Sorry If You Are Offended By This
'Twas the month before Christmas when all through our land, Not a Christian was praying nor taking a stand. Why the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a " Holiday ". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit, Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets are hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now Darden

*twas The Month Before Christmas*
*Twas the month before Christmas* *When all through our land,* *Not a Christian was praying* *Nor taking a stand.* *See the PC Police had taken away,* *The reason for Christmas - no one could say.* *The children were told by their schools not to sing,* *About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.* *It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say* * December 25th is just a "Holiday".* *Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit* *Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!* *CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod* &nb sp; *Something was changing, something quite odd! * *Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa* *In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.* *As Targets were hanging their trees upside down* * At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.* *At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears* *You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.* *Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty* *Are words that were use

Twas The Night Before Christmas
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I 'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WIL

Twas The Night Befor Christmas, And God It Was Neat.
Twas the night befor Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the

Twas' The Night Before Christmas In The Keys
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Key West, Not a creature was stirring, not even the houseguest. No stockings were hung by chimneys this time, No need for a chimney in the Southernmost clime. Tourist were nestled all snug in their beds, While tunes from the Conch Train danced in their heads. Mama in her Kino's and I in bare feet, Settled down with mojitos for a sweet Christmas treat. When out in the harbor there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my hammock to see what was the matter! Out to the porch I stumbled through clutter, cranked open the jalousie and threw up the shutter. The moon through the palm trees beamed galore, And gave a luster of midday to the cruise ships offshore. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh with eight tiny Key deer. With a little old driver, so quick to honk, I new in a moment it must be St. Conch. More rapid than powerboats, his Key deer flew, And he whistled, and shouted, and calle

'twas The Night Before Jesus Came'
'Twas The Night Before Jesus Came' written by Unknown Author Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house Not a creature was praying, not one in the house. Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care In hopes that Jesus would not come there. The children were dressing to crawl into bed. Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head. And Mom in her rocker with baby on her lap Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap. When out of the East there arose such a clatter. I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash! When what to my wondering eyes should appear But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here. With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY! The light of His face made me cover my head It was Jesus! returning just like He had said. And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth, I cried when I sa

Twas The Night Before Christmas ....please Feel Free To Copy This And Repost It Everywhere
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WIL

Twas The Nite Before Xmas
Twas the Nite Before Xmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom, and reached for the lube When out on the lawn, there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Assh

'twas The Night Before Christmas For Adults
'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off

Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look o

Twas The Night Before Christmas,
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look o

Twas The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of 'Thanks Santa'--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible-- Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm

Twas The Night B4 Xmas And Santa Was Pissed
Twas the night before Christmas old Santa was pissed, He cussd out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, Ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind, To scrap the whole works. I've busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear.. The old lady bitches cause I work late at night the elves want more money And the reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is Pregnant Vixon has AIDS And just when I thought That things would get better, The IRS, They sent me a letter. They say I owe taxes, If that aint damn funny.. Who the hell ever Sent Santa any money? And the kids these days, They all are the pits. They want the impossible, Those mean little shits. I spent a whole year Making wagons and sleds with no request for them They want computers and Robots, They think I am IBM If you think that is bad Picture this.. Try holding those brats with their pants full o

Twas The Night Before Christmas (with A Twist On It)
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better. Those a**holes from the IRS sent me a letter. They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny, who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits. They want the impossible--Those mean little shits. I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds. Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads. I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM! Flying through the ai

Twas The Night Before Spanksgiving
It was the night before Spanksgiving and all through the dungeon Not a subbie was stirring, cause Sadist Claus was comin', The floggers were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that Sadist Claus would use them when he finally got there The subbies all snuggled together in bed While visions of naughty spankings danced in their heads The dungeon was quiet, you could hear a whip crack, Then a window opened and he pulled in his sack His bag of toys being tugged caused such a clatter The subbies stayed still for they knew better than to get out of bed and run over to Him for the punishment then would be quite grim. Sadist Claus looked over, mentally making a note Sorting the good subs from bad, as He unbuttoned His coat. When, what to His wondering eyes should appear, but a smart ass subbie wearing underwear!!! She shivered and looked at Him pleading with her eyes Slowly she slid the panties down her thighs Faster than lightning, He crossed the floor firmly grabbed

Twas The Night Before X-mas
Twas the night before x-mas and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and Dad smoking grass, and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter, I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter. Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. He came down from the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the fucker had fell. He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight, "Piss on you all and have one hell of a night!!!"

Twas The Night B4 Christmas
Twas the Night b4 Christmas Current mood: anxious Dec 23, 2007 'Twas the Night b4 Christmas By Mary Marcdante Two Decembers ago my dad called wanting to know what I wanted for Christmas. I mentioned a particular book and then interrupted myself and said, "No, what I'd really like is for you to put The Night Before Christmas on audiotape." There was this long pause and then Dad said with familiar stern emphasis in his voice, "Oh for God's sake, Mary. What in Sam Hill do you want that for? You're forty years old!" I paused, feeling embarrassed yet determined, "Dad, I remember how good it felt when you used to cuddle us all up next to you on the couch when we were little and read The Night Before Christmas. I can still remember how strong your voice was, how safe I felt and how well you acted out all the different sounds. I'd really appreciate you doing this, since I live 2,500 miles away and I'm not coming home for Christmas. It would be nice to have yo

Twas The Night Before Sexmas
Twas the night before sexmas Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat, The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll

'twas The Night Before Christmas.
I think I missed the memo in kindergarten where they said not to play with scissors.. I miss the safety scissors where it was near impossible to cut yourself with them. It 'twas the night before Christmas, And all through my house, No creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. No wrapping was done, No lights left glowing, Only blood that splattered, It wouldn't stop flowing. The stocking were hung, By the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas, Soon would be there. Tinsel was unraveled, Fruit cake left as hard as a rock, And I stared with tears, And I sat in shock. Hmm... not my best work. After wrapping gifts tonight, I went to put away the scissors, but they were still open and I ended up cutting my hand somehow instead. No worries. It's not bad at all. But anyone [i.e.- Christian] who knows me knows that all of my tiny cuts bleed forever. Mood:Pissy. Music:X-Mas In Hell, by Dj Ashba.

Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The House Everybody Felt Shitty............
Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The House Everybody Felt Shitty Even The Mouse. Dad's At the Whorehouse And Mom's Smoking Grass I'd Just Settled Down For A Warm Piece Of Ass. When Out On The Lawn I Heard Such A Clatter I Sprung For My Piece To See What Was The Matter. Then Out On The Lawn I Saw A Big Red Dick. I Knew In A Moment It Must Be Saint Nick. He Came Down The Chimney Like A Bat Out Of Hell I Knew In A Moment The Fucker Had Fell. He Filled All Our Stockings With Pretzels And Beer And A Big Rubber Dick For My Brother The Queer. He Shot Up The Chimney With A Thunderous Fart The Son Of A Bitch Blew The Chimney Apart. He Swore And He Cursed As He Rode Out Of Sight Piss On You All And Have A Hell Of A Night!"

'twas The Night Before Christmas. * A Different Version.
'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone. I had come down the chimney with presents to give and to see just who in the home did live. I looked all about, a strange sight I did see, no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree. No stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand, on the wall hung pictures of far distant lands. with medals and badges, awards of all kinds, a sober thought came through my mind, For this house was different, it was dark and dreary, I found the home of a soldier,once I could see more clearly. The soldier lay sleeping, silent and alone, curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home. The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder, not how I pictured a United States Solider. Was this the hero of whom I'd just read? Curled up in a poncho, the floor for a bed? I realized the families that I saw this night, owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight. Soon round the w

Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town, the fire siren echoed blaring its sound. The firefighters came running from far and from near, and raced to the trucks donning their gear. And I in my bunkers my boots and my hat, jumped to the engine to see where the fire's at. Down at the corner of Fifth and of Oak, the dispatcher informed us of a house filled with smoke. Smoke poured from the sides, from up and from down, yet up on the roof there was none to be found. So up to the rooftop we raised up a ladder, and climbed up to see what was the matter. I came to the chimney and what did I see, but a fellow in red stuck up to his knees. Well we tugged and we pulled until he came out, then he winked with his eye and said with a shout. These darn newfangled chimneys they make them too small, for a fellow as I, not skinny at all." With a twitch of his nose he dashed to his sleigh, and called to his reind

‘twas The Night Before Chanukah
‘Twas the night before Chanukah, boychicks and maidels Not a sound could be heard, not even the draidels. The Menorah was set on the chimney, alight In the kitchen the Bubba hut gechapt a bite. Salami, pastrami, a glassala tay And zayerah pickles with bagels, oh vay! Gezunt and geschmack, the kinderlach felt While dreaming of tagelach and Chanukah gelt. The clock on the mantelpiece away was tickin’ And Bubba was serving a schtikala chicken. A tumult arose like a thousand brauches, Santa had fallen and broken his tuches. I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei, While Bubba was now on the herring and rye. I grabbed for my bathrobe and buttoned my gotkes While Bubba was busy devouring the latkes. To the window I ran and to my surprise A little red yarmulke greeted my eyes. Then he got to the door and saw the Menorah, “Yiddishe kinder,” he said, “Kenahora. I thought I was in a goyisha hoise, But as long as I’m here, I’ll leave a few toys.” With much geshray, I a

Twas The Ride Before Christmas
Twas the ride before Christmas, And not until Spring, Would an engine be running, not even a Wing. The bikes are all sleeping, They're covered and warm Batteries are tended, nylon covers their form. My Bros were all nestled snug in their beds, While visions of new chrome danced in their heads. And I in my doo-rag, bike jacket and boots, Out shoveling snow, and dreaming of scoots. Then from the horizon there came such a clatter, My shovel I dropped, what could be the matter? Away up the hill, I slogged through the snow, Looked up at the sky; where'd all that noise go? A throb from the heavens like straight pipes so hearty, Gave Summers' good thoughts, a loud bikers' party. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a neat '02 Retro, Red trailer in rear. With a little old rider, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than Crotchies his Retro came on, And he whistled, and shouted, and sang out this song; Now, Harley! Now

Twas A Busy Weekend!
What was supposed to be a calm, do nothing kind of weekend, turned out to be a very busy weekend. We went to Paul and Betty's for dinner Friday night. Every time I go to their house, it makes me want to sell my house and move there. They live in town but it is up a hill on a secluded area that feels like when you drive up it, it is totally away from everything and feels like the country. It is so peaceful there. The only problem is that the very few houses that are for sale there are over 1 million for the price tag! Ouch. It will be a while before we can move. Not until this terrible market turns around. I really do want to get out of this area. Saturday I spent cleaning and shopping. Then we had some friends over for dinner Saturday night. I was wanting to eat outside in the backyard but that didn't happen since the weather turned cold that day. We played cards and had a good time despite my son who was a total jackass to us that night when he came home. Yesterd

Twas The Night Before Christmas.
He lived all alone,in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.I had come down the chimney with presents to give.And to see just who in this home did live. I looked all about, a strange sight I did see, no tinsel, no presents not even a tree. No stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand, on the wall hung a picture of a far distant land. With medals and Badges, awards of all kinds, a sober thought came through my mind. For this house was different, it was dark and dreary, I found the home of a Soldier, once I could see clearly, the Soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone, curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home. The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder, not how I pictured a Canadian Soldier. Was this the Hero of whom I'd just read? Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed? I realized the families that I saw this night, owed their lives to these Soldiers who were willing to fight. Soon round the world, the children would play, and grown-ups would celebrate a bri

Twas The Night Before Elections
Twas The Night Before Elections 'Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I, in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of political crap. When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys They had come for my wallet They wanted my pay To give to the others Who had not worked a day! He snatched up my money And quick as a wink Jumped back on his bandwagon As I gagged from the stink He then rallied his henchmen Who were pulling his cart I could tell they were out To tear my country apart! " On Fannie, on Freddie, On Biden and Ayers! On Acorn, On Pelosi" He screamed at the pairs! They took off for his cause And as he flew out of sight I heard him laugh at the nation Who wouldn't stand up and fight! So I leave you to think

Twas The Night Before Elections
'Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I, in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of political crap. When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys They had come for my wallet They wanted my pay To give to the others Who had not worked a day! He snatched up my money And quick as a wink Jumped back on his bandwagon As I gagged from the stink He then rallied his henchmen Who were pulling his cart I could tell they were out To tear my country apart! " On Fannie, on Freddie, On Biden and Ayers! On Acorn, On Pelosi" He screamed at the pairs! They took off for his cause And as he flew out of sight I heard him laugh at the nation Who wouldn't stand up and fight! So I leave you to think On this one final note- IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

'twas The (politically Correct) Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthoriz

T'was The Night Before The Election
'Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of all the political crap. When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys They had come for my wallet They wanted my pay To give to the others Who had not worked a day! He snatched up my money And quick as a wink Jumped back on his bandwagon As I gagged from the stink He then rallied his henchmen Who were pulling his cart I could tell they were out To tear my country apart! On Fannie, on Freddie, On Biden and Ayers! On Acorn, On Pelosi' He screamed at the pairs! They took off for his cause And as he flew out of sight I heard him laugh at the nation Who wouldn't stand up and fight! So I leave you to think On this one final note, IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM, GET OUT AND VOTE!!!! "IN GOD WE TRUST"

T'was The Night Before Elections..
Twas The Night Before The Elections 'Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I, in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of political crap. When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys They had come for my wallet They wanted my pay To give to the others Who had not worked a day! He snatched up my money And quick as a wink Jumped back on his bandwagon As I gagged from the stink He then rallied his henchmen Who were pulling his cart I could tell they were out To tear my country apart! ' On Fannie, on Freddie, On Biden and Ayers! On Acorn, On Pelosi' He screamed at the pairs! They took off for his cause And as he flew out of sight I heard him laugh at the nation Who wouldn't stand up and fight! So I leave you to think On this one final note- IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM

Twas The Night Before Christmas
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WIL

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving, and all through the bar Were your old High School classmates, returning home from afar. Their hands were double-fisting and their faces were a smile, In hopes to avoid the parental convos for a while. Hurdling towards black-out, you and your friends Ordering shots by the round, maxing out to no end. Drinking Captain and Jack, Jaeger and Beer All in the hopes that sobriety would no longer be here. The local tavern so dark, transformed for the night. Into a college meet-market for the young drinker's delight. Blackout Wednesday is here with booze on the minds, Of every young coed, huddled crowded inside. In the corner, the jocks, recall their old glory days, As they rubbed their beer guts and yelled 'man, you're so gay'. They pounded their fists on the bar, which raised such a clatter, That the barkeep soon rushed over to see what was the matter. The guys all got quiet, the whole bar turned t

'twas The Night Of Thanksgiving,
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep... I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white, but I fought the temptation with all of my might. Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees... Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.

T'was The Night Of Thanksgiving....
T'was the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep The leftovers beckoned, the dark meat and white but I fought the temptation with all of my might Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door and gazed at the fridge full of goodness galore! I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes! I felt myself swelling so plump and so round till all of a sudden I rose off the ground! I crashed through the ceiling floating into the sky with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie! I managed a yell as I soared past the trees Pass the cranberries please! May your stuffing be tasty your turkey be plump may your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump! may your yams be delicious may your pies take the prize and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of you

Twas The Night Before Christmas
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILL

Twas The Night Before Christmas...adult Version
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Mom in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon was so bright that it lit up the yard, The place was a mess, something hit it real hard. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a crooked old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Fuckin' slow dow

Twas The Night
twas the night before xmas and all through fu bar land there was nothing sterring not even you. i heard a clit clatter on the roof top, when i took a look jolly saint nick was staring at me, on bettie, on xciteme, on jessica or sugar, why wasnt the naughties out tonight, the raindeer were drunk, watching the gals, merry xmas to all and all have a good xmas bedrock

Twas The Night Before Christmas
T'was the night before Christmas and all thru Fubar All the users were chatting with their friends near and far. Their blings were all hung on their pages with care in hopes that more blingies soon would be there! As I'm on my laptop, sitting in my seat just settling down, my day almost complete. When what to my wandering ears should I hear? A message in my shoutbox! Hooray I cheer! As I slowly wait for my message to display eagerly anticipating what it might say A note from my friend the jolly old elf! A note just for me that he wrote himself! "I saw you online..." his shout did say, "...chatting with your friends on this fine day!" "Your present this year wont fit on my sleigh. It must be sent to you online, so I'm doing it today!" Before I could finish reading his words to myself I got a bling from the jolly old elf! Auto 11s! Oh they are sweet! Their colores are pretty, the numbers so neat! Before I could thank him he did go away but as

Twas The Night.......
Twas then night before Christmas and all thru Fu-land no one was chatting they were waiting for the man The fu bling's hung by the fire with care hoping that St Nicholas....or me soon would be there the shoutbox was buzzing for both the naughty and nice peeps wishing each other happiness kissing under the mistle once..wait twice The present were all wrapped and placed under the tree but i think if you ask santa what makes a better present...ME I love my fu family each one i would hugg and kiss on da lips while grabbin da juggs.......sorry couldn't think of anything that rhymed with huggs.....lol so to each of you i wish the best of Holidays i love all you in so many ways so Adorable Bunnie,Ohlala,Lizzy and wickey,Dani Ann and Trouble Free,Annie and Qtee,and my Texas Artemis,Ms. Karma and the funky Pimpstress,So Let's talk and the sci-fi cutie Mel,LadyEva,and that Fiesty Momma,Come holla at me,Ms Hollywood,Tortured beauty and Ms Avgirl,and Britt and

Twas The Night Before The Fat Sonny Christmas (lol I Love Sonny He's Hilarious!)
Twas the night before Christmas And all through the Fu Not a creature was stirring Not even the Christmas Poo The Stocking bling were hung By the chimney with care In hopes that Fat Sonny Won't show up on a dare The fu's were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of Happy Hours Danced in their heads And Miss Mona in her kerchief And Steve in his cap Had just settled down For a long winter's fap....er nap When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my laptop to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Locked up the shutters And hid my stash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave me shivers as I peeked At the scene below When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But 8 of Sonny's family Shaking with fear With a little old driver, so lively and funny I knew in a moment it must be Fat Sonny. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he roared, and screamed, and called them by n

'twas The Night Before Christmas...
'twas a night before Christmas.... Twas the knight before Christmas And we're all apart. Just counting the days Till the next season starts. We all wish each other Good day and good cheer. And health and good blessings Upon the New Year. As for me I am setting A trap for the Claus. It's baited with Eggnog And Donut Bear Claws As he bends over To partake of the treat. I'll wrap him with ductape Tied 'im down to a seat. "All right now good buddy. This last season sucked. So you'd better fix it. Do Not Press Your Luck." "Our coffers will flow No longer be thin. Or you'll never see Your reindeer again". When I let him go On his brow there'll be sweat. "Remember my promise Was no idle threat." "And remember with every Ho! Ho! You give. You'd better put out We know where you live." ~Steve Moore of Myth and Magic Robert "the Hair" Wesner Leather Mystics Old World Industries PO Box 371 Medford OR 9750

Twas The Morning Of Xmas
Twas the morning of christmas my butt it was itchin Checkin out asshats in mumms that was bitchin My old lady in the kitchen cookin up bacon A night watchin midget porn had my balls severely achin When out on the porch what did I hear The fridge went on the porch...the one that stores my beer. Home Depot aint open Lowes it is closed For getting my beer fridge fixed today I am closed The neighbor let her dog out dressed in her robe Her left boob fell out and it looked like a globe. I'm into geography and maps and titties Groping big boobs and knowing about Cities. I yelled out the window 'Yer boobs hangin out' She flew me the bird and started to shout 'You old pervert dont gawk at my rack I'll have my dog bite you right square in your sack' My fun for today I'm afraid it was over I'm protective of my nuts and stay away from Rover. So now I'm just sitting here drinking all of my bud lights... Thinking Merry Christmas to all and especially Merry Christma

"twas The Night Befor Friday
'Twas the night before Friday, when all through the house As always Carrie was typing, even clicking her mouse; There was no booze in the house with that to fear, In hopes that liquor store was open, if not I will settle with beer; My friends were logging on to there Fubar , While hopping of something funny would put a smile on there face; With you at your desk, and me at the store, I hope this Thursday night poem will make you roar, Me with too many friends, I'm such a Fubar whore, But with you all, you make my day with not a bore; Now off my computer, and out with a dash, I'm headed to my friends house to get fucking smashed. The moon outside, so shinning and bright. Looks like I'm not returning home for the night, From my monitor screen, to my eyes did appear, How wonderful of friends I have that are on here. Seeing tom(myspace) the only one never spoken to, Fuck him, I am very glad that I have you; Oh SHIT! my cursing came out my mouth, But that just

T'was A Beautyful Thing
O/our Collaring Ceremony So...last night was a much anticipated event for Soda and myself. O/our collaring ceremony. W/we invited very few people as W/we did not wish for it to be a circus. The words W/we "spoke" to each O/other were serious in context, as O/our intentions are. W/we were presided over by BC Daddy McSpanks. O/our witnesses were Dolly Dagger and Goddess. It was attended by some close friends, along with some real life friends and my real life daughter. The words below, are O/our creeds to E/each other. my words: yotd: Sir...No creed that has been written by someone elses hand will i write here. These words are my own, and written for You alone. i offer You my submission. Completely and with total trust, and the utmost respect. Know that You have captured my heart and that it is Yours and no one elses. My heart...my mind...and my body is Yours and i give these to You freely, fully and without restriction. i kneel before You....Your present..

'twas The Night Before Tampa
'Twas the Night Before Tampa 'Twas the night before Tampa, when all through the town, Steeler's fans were ready for the Cardinals to go down; The flags and banners were all hung with care, All Over Tampa, with the Steelers there; The players were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of Super Bowl danced in their heads; With Tomlin in charge, I had a night cap, And settled down for one more night's nap; When down at Tampa there arose such a clatter, Cardinals fans wondered just what was the matter; For at the stadium there was a great flash, Someone had entered with no ticket, not any cash; The moon on the breast of the grass and the sand, Gave the luster of mid-day to the man with a towel in his hand; When what to their wondering eyes should appear, Who this man was, it became quite clear; The smoke from his cigar made the air gloomy, But they knew in a moment that it was Art Rooney; He held the

Twas The Night Before The Super Bowl
â€˜Twas the night before the Super Bowl, when along the gulf shore Steelers fans were praying for â€œjust one more" The players were nestled all snug in the sack With visions of the first NFL Six-Pack Coach Tomlin was young, but wise for his years So I drifted off to sleep without any fears When at the stadium there arose some strange chatter The Cardinals feared, what was the matter We heard, â€œOkel Dokel,â€ we heard â€œDouble Yoi!â€ We jumped from our beds, our hearts jumped for joy He stood at the fifty with a grin ear to ear Steelers fans everywhere started to cheer Then in an instant to our surprise This little old man had tears in his eyes He went to the booth and there took his chair While Terrible Towels waved in the air Then over the airwaves came his shrill voice The Steelers Nation began to rejoice He said, â€œI am back, but you know I canâ€™t stay. I just had to see my Steelers play" From my home up above, I have a great view Bu

Twasn't Mean't To Be!
It wasn't mean't to be that we can both see... You just weren't mean't for me... You can close your eyes and still remember me... I'll close my eyes and remember you weren't mean't for me... Time will go on and you'll be my sweet memory.

Twas The Night Of An Orgy
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the net People were horny--steamy and wet; The pussies were dripping as they soon knew That the cocks around them were stiffening, too; The ladies were ready, willing, and spread The men kneeling down, giving them head; Santa squeezed down the chimney, hoping to fuck; But found halfway down that he became stuck. A pole was stuck up his arse with some force, poor Santa thought he'd been kicked by a horse. They tried and they tried, but they couldn't unstick, He was wedged in the chimney by the size of his dick. The poledancers gathered round and had an idea, Perhaps if they sucked Santa's cock he could get himself clear. One by one, they sucked on his knob, knowing this wasn't a one-dancer job. The elves wondered how they could help, too, so they opened their mouths and awaited his goo. While they waited, the elves passed the time, by fucking the dancers in a Christmas conga-line. The reindeer were randy, they pace

'twas The Night Before Jesus Came'
'Twas The Night Before Jesus Came' 'Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the houseNot a creature was praying, not one in the house.Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without careIn hopes that Jesus would not come there. The children were dressing to crawl into bed.Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.And Mom in her rocker with baby on her lapWas watching the Late Show while I took a nap. When out of the East there arose such a clatter.I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash! When what to my wondering eyes should appearBut angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.With a light like the sun sending forth a bright rayI knew in a moment this must be THE DAY! The light of His face made me cover my headIt was Jesus! returning just like He had said.And though I possessed world

Twas Night B4 Xmas
twas the night b4 christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirrin not even a mouse mom at the whore house dad smokin grass i just settled down for a nice piece of ass when out on the lawn i heard a big clatter i sprung from my piece to see what was the matter when out on the lawn i saw a big dick i knew right then it must be saint nick hecome down the chimney with a thunderous fart the fat fucker blew my chimney apart he swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight to hell with you all in gettin pussy tonight

Twas The Night Before Christmas ( A Soldiers Story)
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,HE LIVED ALL ALONE,IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OFPLASTER AND STONE.... See More... See MoreI HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEYWITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,AND TO SEE JUST WHOIN THIS HOME DID LIVE.I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,NOT EVEN A TREE.NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURESOF FAR DISTANT LANDS.WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,A SOBER THOUGHTCAME THROUGH MY MIND.FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,SILENT, ALONE,CURLED UP ON THE FLOORIN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,NOT HOW I PICTUREDA UNITED STATES SOLDIER.WAS THIS THE HEROOF WHOM I'D JUST READ?CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,THE FLOOR FOR A BED?I REALIZED THE FAMILIESTHAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERSWHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.SOON ROUND THE WORLD,THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,AND GROWNUPS

Twas The Night Before Xmas {a Soldiers Story} [i Borrowed This From A Friend]
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,HE LIVED ALL ALONE,IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OFPLASTER AND STONE.... See More... See MoreI HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEYWITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,AND TO SEE JUST WHOIN THIS HOME DID LIVE.I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,NOT EVEN A TREE.NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURESOF FAR DISTANT LANDS.WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,A SOBER THOUGHTCAME THROUGH MY MIND.FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,SILENT, ALONE,CURLED UP ON THE FLOORIN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,NOT HOW I PICTUREDA UNITED STATES SOLDIER.WAS THIS THE HEROOF WHOM I'D JUST READ?CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,THE FLOOR FOR A BED?I REALIZED THE FAMILIESTHAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERSWHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.SOON ROUND THE WORLD,THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,AND GROWNUPS

Twas The Day After Christmas...
nother holiday gone,nother year bout shot.everyone hoping the new year brings better things..myself,im looking forward to changes,new job,new location..next chapter in my gypsy life !hate being so far from friends & family back east,but can't seem to locate job back there,so looks like california is next move.i've enjoyed my stay here in new mexico,but i've had enough of the winters here & im ready to be in a more populated area than 'lonesome valley" !have an operatunity for higher pay & different work,so im gonna try it out !

Twas The Night Before X-mas
IT WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THOUGH THE HOUSE EVERYONE FELT SHITTY EVEN THE MOUSE. DAD AT THE WHORE HOUSE MOM SMOKIN GRASS AND I'D SETTLED DOWN FOR A NICE PIECE OF ASS. THEN OUT ON THE LAWN THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER I SPRANG FROM MY PIECE TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER! HE CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT FUCKER FELL. HE FILLED ALL THE STOCKINGS WITH PRETZELS AND BEER AND A BIG RUBBER DICK FOR MY BROTHER THE QUEER! HE ROSE UP THE CHIMNEY WITH ONE HELL OF A FART THAT SON OF A BITCH BLEW MY CHIMNEY APART! HE SWORE AND HE CURSED AS HE FLEW OUT OF SITE PISS ON YOU AND AND HAVE ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!

Twas The Night Before....
Twas the night before xmas all over the fu, all the fu whores are whoring, even the jew. The stockings are hung by the desks with sweet care. In hopes Baby J will soon be there. The pervs are all nestled snug in their beds while visions of fu whores dance in their heads. When out of the server we heard such a clatter. and ran to our puters to see whats the matter. Typing away with such a flash. we open our browsers to see what had crashed. The glow of the screen gave it away. The crash was a fu whale who had gotten away. When what to my wandering eyes should appear. But a miniture gnome and eight tiny fu ponies dressed as reindeer. With a horny lil driver so lively and quick. I knew at that moment it was St. Dick. more rapid than viagra his coursers came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now chewbacca!! Now blackhole!! Now blue tacos and cunts!! On yetti!! on skunks! on fu whores and sluts!! To the top of the fu charts we must go! Go fu ho, go fu ho, go fu ho

Twas The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, He lived all alone, In a one bedroom house, Made of plaster and stone. I had come down the chimney, With presents to give, And to see just who, In this house did live. I looked all about, A strange sight i did see, No tinsel, no presents, Not even a tree. No stockings by the mantle, Just boots filled with sand, On the wall hung a picture, Of a far distant land. With metals and bages, Awards of all kinds, A sober thought, Came through my mind. For this house was different, It was dark and dreary, I found the home of a Soldier, At once I saw clearly. The Soldier lay sleeping, Silent, Alone, Culrled up on the floor, In this one bedroom home. The face was so gentle, The room in disorder, Not how I pictured, A Canadian Soldier. Was this the Hero, Of whom I just read, Curled up on a poncho, The floor for a bed. I realized the Families, That I saw this night, Owed their Freedoms to these Soldiers, Who are willing to figh

Twas The Night Before Gameday !!!
Twas the morning of game day and all through the land the fans were all stirring, with their tickets in hand. A quick cup of coffee, then each Jill and Jack Get dressed in their very best silver and black. Then out to the car, or the truck or the van to p...ack for their tailgates as much as they can. The stickers are placed in the windows with care And the Raider flags fly in the crisp autumn air. The excitement is mounting as their engines they start; it's easy to see that these fans have such heart. Then out on the highway there arose such a clatter I ran from my house to see what was the matter. The morning sun shone with a soft golden glow on car after car traveling below. Fans from the east and fans from the west heading to Oakland to watch football's best. One fan in particular went driving by. A mean looking dude with a patch on his eye. His face was all blackened, as it scattered with soot and he was dressed all in black from his head to his fo

'twas The Night Before Christmas'
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.The children were nestled all snug in their beds,While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snowGave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.With a little old driver, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and

'twas The Night Before Christmas 2011
'Twas The Night Before Christmas 2011 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land, all the children have fewer presents in their cute little hands. With funds so low and unemployment so high instead of smiles and laughter there will be tears and cries. As Santa flies over with his reindeer and sleigh houses are now empty where families used to stay. As he got on his sleigh and flew out of sight I heard him exclaim "This Is Just Too Sad, I'm Going Home Early Tonight."

'twas The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, He lived all alone In a one bedroom house, made of plaster and stone. I had come down the chimney, with presents to give And to see just who in this house did live. I looked all about, a strange sight I did see No tinsel, no presents not even a Tree. No stockings by the mantle, just boots filled with sand On the wall hung a picture of a far distant land. With Medals and Badges Awards of all kinds A sobering thought passed through my mind. For this house was different it was dark and dreary I found the home of a Soldier at once I could see clearly. The Soldier lay sleeping silent, alone Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home. The face was so gentle the room in disorder Not how I had pictured a Canadian Soldier. Was this the Hero of whom I had just read Curled up on a poncho the floor for a bed. I realized the Families that I saw this night Owed their lives to these Soldiers who were willing to fight. Soon 'round the World th

T'was The Night Before Christmas!!
T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS – OLD SANTA WAS PISSED. HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LIST. MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS. ... I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS. ... I'VE BUSTED MY ARSE FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR.... INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA" – WHAT DO I HEAR? THE OLD LADY BITCHES CAUSE I WORK LATE AT NIGHT… THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY –THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT. RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND CRASHED THE DAMN SLED. DONNER IS PREGNANT, VIXEN'S OUT OF HIS HEAD. AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER, THOSE ARSEHOLES FROM THE TAX OFFICE SENT ME A LETTER. THEY SAY I OWE TAXES – IF THAT AIN'T DAMN FUNNY. WHO IN THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA MONEY? THE KIDS THESE DAYS – THEY ALL ARE THE PITS. THEY WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE…THOSE MEAN LITTLE SHITS. I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR MAKING WAGONS AND SLEDS, ASSEMBLING DOLLS, THEIR ARMS, LEGS AND HEADS, I MADE TONS OF YOYO'S –NO REQUEST FOR THEM… THEY ALL WANT COMPUTERS&hell

Twas The Night Before Christmas Key West Style
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Key West, Not a creature was stirring, not even the houseguest. No stockings were hung by chimneys this time, No need for a chimney in the Southernmost clime. Tourists were nestled all snug in their beds, While tunes from the Conch Train danced in their heads. Mama in her Kino's and I in bare feet, Settled down with mojitos for a sweet Christmas treat. When out in the harbor there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my hammock to see what was the matter! Out to the porch I stumbled through clutter, Cranked open the jalousie and threw up the shutter. The moon through the palm trees beamed galore, And gave a luster of midday to the cruise boats offshore. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh with eight tiny Key deer. With a little old driver, so quick to honk, I new in a moment it must be St. Conch. More rapid than powerboats, his Key deer flew, And he whistled, and shouted, and called to them, too. Now,

"twas Two Months Before Christmas"(i Borrowed This From A Friend)
Twas two months before ChristmasWhen all through our land,Not a Christian was prayingNor taking a stand.Why the PC Police had taken awayThe reason for Christmas - no one could say.The children were told by their schools not to singAbout Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would sayDecember 25th is just a 'Holiday'.Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and creditPushing folks down to the floor just to get it!CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-PodSomething was changing, something quite odd!Retailers promoted Ramadan and KwanzaaIn hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.As Targets were hanging their trees upside downAt Lowe's the word Christmas was nowhere to be found.At K-Mart and Staples and Penney's and SearsYou won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-tyAre words that were used to intimidate me.Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf BlitzenOn Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on C

T.w.a.t
After years of putting up with T.W.A.T. (the war against terrorism) It finally becomes clear to me why... Bush fabricated this entire war not only to oust Saddam Hussein from power for the control of oil, (like dear old daddies war in tha 80's) But also as a controlled ploy to convince you that electing Hillary Clinton as the first female president would be the best option. Along with the facts that her opponents are some guy named John Edwards, (make ya think about the tv psychic???) or the other one, Barack Obama. Honestly a good man if not for his name sounding too much like Osama Bin-Laden. She has taken a stance against the war, demanding to see the end of it before her term or she will bring it to an end herself. Review the few passages below, taken from a few news sites and think about it for a little bit. If you believe this conspiracy theory to be the truth, repost this as Paul's Conspiracy Theory. If you have any comments feel free to send them my way, I'm always open

Twats.
i hate this town. everyone here is a piece of shit. ppl promise you stuff then dont give it. and then they fuck they best friends gf. o yeah. my best guy friend (who i hope dies now) is fucking his best freinds(my ex) girlfriend. and he fucked me over agian with some stuff. i hate this place. only a year and 6 months till my ass is out of here. and i cant wait! fuck this town and everyone in it! sorry for being all emo! lol

Twat Waffles And Ass Hats!!
My friend Toxic posted a picture of herself licking a mirror. (Here is the picture) Well I left Toxic a messed up comment saying, "LMAO! Please .. oh please tell me this was either your mirror or mine!! Who knows who else has tongued that mirror!! LOL" So Toxic commented my default picture with, "HWAT! and yes it was my mirror you asshat!" So I went to Toxic main profile and commented her with, "If I am your asshat, then you are my twatwaffle!! LMAO" I then promptly changed my yahoo messenger status to read, "If im ur asshat, ur my twatwaffle" The following is the yahoo conversation between Toxic and myself: Toxic: i don't wanna be a twat waffle Toxic: can i be the asshat? Toxic: ROFLMFAO Myself: nope.. you called me an asshat.. I get to keep it Myself: lmao Toxic: FINE Toxic: asshat Toxic: LOL Myself: (inserted laughing audible here) Myself: oh my god!! I'm almost in tears Toxic has started viewing your web cam. You have started viewing Toxi

The Twatwaffle
1. Twatwaffle (twat-wah-full): n.1 An elitist; someone unaware of their own limitations and highly critical of others. n.2 A general prick. See: douchebag, n00b. v.1 To ban; to totally pwn. 2. Twatwaffle Complete idiot. Dipshit, assrod. You get the idea. 3. Twatwaffle The twatwaffle is a magical sentient being that flies around in rainbows; it is a friend of unicorns! Twatwaffles are often used by businesswomen like magic carpets to fly them to work. Businesswomen like the inspiring nature of a twatwaffle, often referring to them as "a team player" and "a great asset to the team." If a man touches a twatwaffle his genitals will shrivel and drop off into the snow, lost to him forever. When twatwaffles are not swirling around in the sky you can often find them digging around in medical waste and pushing homeless people into their own shallow puddles of urine. 4. Twatwaffle 1- loose nasty dirty hairy vagina 2- a whores vagina infected with std's, hardcore std'

Twats In Uniform
Lovely that everyone is so supportive of serving and former military peeps but as a “veteran” of Northern Ireland, The Falklands, The Gulf and Bosnia would just like to point out we got paid and unless there have been big changes since I left most can’t wait to get into some real clothes and out of those poxy uniforms at the end of the day. If your best come on is “I have a uniform” then you’ll find McDonalds a lot safer. Playing on your days in "the service" to pull is a strategy doomed to failure. Be quietly proud of what you do/ did and geta personality as shiny as your boots.

~*twat*~
A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"? The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat"? Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputterin

Twat Waffle
1. twat waffle 506 up, 108 down love it hate it buy a twat waffle muga vagina that is so shriveled up that it looks like a defrosted waffle.Jo went down on Mary and thought he was eating breakfast.by Lamifer Sep 13, 2004 share this2. twat waffle 223 up, 123 down love it hate it buy a twat waffle mug1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person. 2. Someone who you find in extreme annoyance.President Bush is such a twat waffle.by Priscilla Dec 13, 2004 share this3. twat waffle 147 up, 108 down love it hate it buy a twat waffle mugA meaningless insult; can be used to refer to anyone or anything that you dislikeYou stank twat waffle.

T," Waters Said Of Owner Stanisl
CASARES, Spain -- The European Tour fears the Czech Open is about to become the third tournament lost from the 2012 calendar because of financial difficulties. Keith Waters, the European Tours Director of International Policy, will meet in London on Thursday with the owner of Prosper Golf Resort that had been scheduled to host the event from Aug. 16-19 at Celadna, Czech Republic. "While he has regional support for the tournament to go ahead, he doesnt have national government support," Waters said of owner Stanislav Pros. "The last conversation I have with him and his team was that they didnt have the money to stage the tournament this year, and one can easily understand that in these tough economic times. "Im not sure if hes coming to London tomorrow on business or just coming to deliver the bad news personally. So I am not that optimistic." The Czech Open was first held in 1994 and has been staged at Prosper Golf Resort for the past three years, including when Peter Hanso

Twaunes Fu Owned Auction & Also Selling Packages For Spotlight Bid!
I'm up for Auction again... Twaune is the host! Make sure you show him some ♥love♥ too! Also, I am STILL selling packages to raise fubucks for a SPOTLIGHT bid... please come help me.. I will return all ♥LOVE♥ back!

Twaune Up For Auction
Its auction time and my boy Twaune is up for grabs! He is one of my besties on here and worth all your money people (LOL) so go check him out and BID BID BID! Click on pic below to bid! Pimpout by... The Baddest MILF®~ Wifey to Fornicates™@ fubar font font font (repost of original by 'The Baddest MILF®~ Wifey to Fornicates™' on '2008-07-08 20:15:11')

Twaune Thå £ast Ðon ™
I'm in shackles!!! WOOT! Check out my new owner!! He's got me from 8/8/08 through 9/7/08! Go show him love and let him know I sent you!!! Twaune Thå £ast Ðon ™ SER Promoter / Fu-Highness to sub lil slavegrrl@ fubar This pimp-out brought to you by: ~*TinkerbellMN84*~ {Fu-Owned by starop013 & Twaune Thå £ast Ðon}

Twaune Up For Auction =d
The host is up for auction ! Once again im on the auction block and looking for a new owner ! Will it be you ?? Well click my auction tag to place a bid ! This Fu-Owned Auction Pimpout is brought to you by : Twaune Thå £ast Ðon ™ SER Promoter

Twaune Valentinos Fu-owned Eighteen Auction
RUNS JUNE 12TH - JUNE 18TH!!! DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BID ON ME??? WANT A PIECE OF HEATHER??? WHAT'S IT WORTH TO YOUUUU?? http://fubar.com/heather-bidding-starts-off-at-1-million-fubucks/photo-429545-2342042-2273870243

Twaune Valentinos Fu-owned Eighteen Auction
http://fubar.com/heather-bidding-starts-off-at-1-million-fubucks/photo-429545-2342042-2273870243 DO YOU WANT TO OWN A PIECE OF ME??? GO BID AND SEE IF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!!! runs now until june 18th! go bid!!! http://fubar.com/heather-bidding-starts-off-at-1-million-fubucks/photo-429545-2342042-2273870243

Tweakyourskin.com
How to use the site tweakyourpage.com.first is getting there,when you open a private message or you profile settings page,on the left you will see the link to tweakyourpage.com,as shown below.. once there,it will say to select your network for layouts and skins,click lostcherry.com banner,as shown below.. once your on the next page,scroll a little bit,you will see the skins listed,as shown below.. once you pic a skin catagory you want,click it,like say name brands,as i have done,then will take you to list of skins in that catagory,i chose starbucks,pictured below.. it then will show the background image,and a box below with the code to your skin,copy the code,as pictured below.. now,you take this code and you open up your skins page,go to home page,on left column click my skins,then click create,as shown below.. then it will open up to a window with a default skin in it,simply out line this code,once all is selected,right click and paste the co

Tweaks To Mumms..
i'm about to enable some changes to the mumm feature. i'm sure some people will piss and moan, and perhaps 1 or 2 people will like it. either way, this is just a heads up. :-) it'll cost 100 cherry bucks to post a mumm. the poster of the mumm will get cherry bucks everytime someone votes on the mumm. you'll receive cherry bucks everytime you vote on a mumm. everytime someone bitches at me for doing this i'll kill a kitten. thanks, happy presidents day!! :-D EDIT: woops almost forgot. you'll also see a 'favorite mumms' box near the recent mumms box on all the mumm pages. this box contains a list of mumms you've recently been active in (either viewing, commenting, or voting), so that you can easily find them again. -mike

Tweaks And Enhancements To Mobile Photo Uploads.
i made some tweaks to the mobile photo upload feature tonight and thought i'd post something here for the 8 or 9 people that actually read my blogs. ;) first of all, if you don't know about the mobile uploads or want to set them up for your profile, simply go to your profile settings page, and click on the mobile link. normally, when you want to add a mobile photo to your profile, you simply email it from your phone to mobile@cherrytap.com .. and viola, it shows up in your gallery. however, some folks like to upload mobile pics of their girlfriends flashing them or in a wet-tshirt contest or other such jackassery. now as *cool* as that is, and i'm sure as happy as your gf is to have her chest uploaded to the internet for everyone to view, it's just not cool for the rest of us who might not want to see it. but, there is hope! if you have pics on your mobile that are NSFW (more details on Not Safe For Work content), you can now send them to mobile-nsfw@cherrytap.com -- whic

Tweaking The Mumms In The Next Day Or So..
In order to help clean up the bullshit that's being posted in mumms lately (and pretty much, since we implemented them), I'm working on a few changes. The main change will be their 'scope'. By default, mumms will only be shown to your friends. If you want to create a 'global' mumm that shows up on everyones homepage, you go through the same process, only it'll cost more fuBucks. If you make a mumm for your friends, you can still post the link around and have other people (non-friends) vote/comment on it, but it won't show up on their homepage as a recent mumm. I'm still figuring out what the pricing will be for each, but the mumms for your friends will be cheaper than they are now. viva la resistance! -mike

Tweaking My List- Don't Freak
For those that are hypersensitive about your ranking, I'm changing it because I want to. Family is family. Friends are friends. Even still ranking doesn't matter. Those that are important to me know where they rank in my heart.

Tweaked Psyche
Tweaked PsycheThe awakened spirit in quantum leapOf enlightened vision,Overwhelms emotions with majesticSoulful intense yearnings;Vivid dream within quantum realityIntangible emotions,Dire need of personnel transformationQuells the infinite mind;Consciousness in the crazed clouded perceptionsBeyond soul enlightenment,Present moment’s final destinationInfinite potentials?Divine madness in the peak experienceSenseless sensations,Overwhelming ecstasy with desireIn spiritual journey?Manic high in the dark night of the soulSpiritual being in joy,Science of spirituality in the blissInternally lucid?Spirituality being for existenceManic loosing his touch,In spiritual path of peacefulnessImmense sparkling sunlight?Spiritually awakened fulfillmentAs karma risen up,Moves glistening instabilityEnjoying spiritual peak:

T10 Wedge Inverted Led Signal Light
This kind of LED car light is hot selling and popular for western customers. It owns five sides and 360 degree emitting angle. It is cabinet and have quick response, super bright. 501 led car light can work for one week continuously within the temperature range of -30℃ to +55℃, for the white color can working under -30℃ to +85℃ Specifications: 1:Type: T10 2:Socket: Wedge 3:LED quantity: 5 smd 4:LED specification: 5050 smd -3chips 5:Color: red,yellow,green,bule,white,amber ect,all colours are available. 6:Voltage working range: 12VDC / 24VDC / 24-30VDC; Usage: Used in the auto car and truck side light, signal light, with international standard, all types of auto can be use.

Tweety Teresa
hey everyone , well this is my first time doing this , well im a shy lady until i get to know u ,well i have 3kids grown, im a widow , had hard life , enough of that tired of being unhappy ,time to make all kinds of friends an start having fun lol, love to have new friends , so help me out , asu can see im new at this , well thanks for listening, an hope u had a great new years love teresa

Tweeking
Tweeking I'am screaming loud. No one is listening. Can't take the crowd. My eyes are blistering. My wrist are pouring with blood. This body of mine is shutting down. These eyes of mine are in a flood. Please turn My frown. Crying from all this pain. My mind is no longer here. I can't remember my name, and yet no one can hear. Heidi Dawn Vey Copyright ©2007 Heidi Dawn Vey

The Tweety Incident
Well I'm feeling well chuffed with myself. At 1.30am this morn i was chasing my cat down the road cos he had a baby bird in his mouth. I didnt have a lot on just thong and t-shirt lmao anyone watching would have got a nasty surprise. Anyway managed after a couple of rude shouts and quick sweeps to the floor to get this squawking bird off my cat. Dusty was not happy lol. Got the bird indoors, it was frightened and injured, losing a small amount of blood. It was still quite feisty which i used to get some water in the creature knowing it would get dehydrated from shock. I placed the poor unfortunate creature in the only box available (My friends stella is now sat on the side lol) I put a terry towling sheet in the box with a small bowl of water and placed the box in the spare room window slightly open, cos my cats can get in the rooms using the back wall, with the door shut. All night long I dreamt about getting help in the dream it was difficult on waking i didnt find it that eas

Tweety Bird
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Tweedledum And Tweedledee, Through The Looking-glass
A brief quotation . . . “The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To talk of many things: Of shoes—and ships—and sealing wax— Of cabbages—and kings— And why the sea is boiling hot— And whether pigs have wings.” ------------------------------ Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832–1898), British writer, mathematician. Through the Looking-Glass, “Tweedledum and Tweedledee,” (1872).The Columbia World of Quotations. New York: Columbia University Press, 1996. www.bartleby.com/66/. [Date of Printout].

Tweetjinxin Needs Help Leveling Back Up Plz!
TIS' THE SEASON TO BE MERRY! HELP IS NEEDED TO LEVEL HER ACCOUNT WAS DELETED, ANY AND ALL HELP IS APPRECIATED! TweetyJinxin~SECRETARY of the GIT-R-DONE REBEL FAMILY~and PROUD MEMBER OF THE CONFEDERATE BOMB SQUAD LET'S GIVE HER A BIG FU WELCOME BACK SHOW HER HOW MUCH WE LOVE HER AND HOW MUCH WE'VE MISSED HER! ************************************This Pimp Out Brought to you by:◊ SNUGGLEBUNNY ~ ASSISTANT RECRUITER FOR THE GRD BOMBSQUAD◊

Tweety Is Back!
TIS' THE SEASON TO BE MERRY! HELP IS NEEDED TO LEVEL HER ACCOUNT WAS DELETED, ANY AND ALL HELP IS APPRECIATED! TweetyJinxin~SECRETARY of the GIT-R-DONE REBEL FAMILY~and PROUD MEMBER OF THE CONFEDERATE BOMB SQUAD LET'S GIVE HER A BIG FU WELCOME BACK SHOW HER HOW MUCH WE LOVE HER AND HOW MUCH WE'VE MISSED HER! ************************************This Pimp Out Brought to you by:◊ SNUGGLEBUNNY ~ ASSISTANT RECRUITER FOR THE GRD BOMBSQUAD◊

Tweetyjinxin Has Auto-11's!!! (repost)
imikimi - Customize Your World TweetyJinxin Has Auto-11's! Auto-11's Start At 4PM EST On Friday, December 26. Come Help Get Her Back To The Level She Was At Before Her Profile Got Deleted! While You Are There... F/A/R & Bling Her. She Loves New Friends And Bling! If You Don't Already Have Her As a Friend... Then You Are Truly Missing Out! TweetyJinxin~SECRETARY of the GIT-R-DONE REBEL FAMILY~and PROUD MEMBER OF THE CONFEDERATE BOMB SQUA@ fubar This Pimpout Bulletin Has Been Brought To You By : ~CONFEDERATE BOMBER FAMILY OF FUBAR ™©~@ fubar (repost of original by '~CONFEDERATE BOMBER FAMILY OF FUBAR ™©~' on '2008-12-26 11:53:27')

Tweek Gathered The Fam's Favorite Colors Here!
Ok so all of you know that I've been collecting everybody's favorite colors. I Did this so that if I or anyone else in the family Make someone something we can know their favorite colors to use on it! So heres the list I compiled I hope it helps everyone, and feel free to copy it for yourself! peace. ♥ Pleasurable Trouble ♥ - Pink, Red, Blue DJ Goofy Babe - Purple, Black VAMP MORTICIA - Red, Black єℓєктяα - Blue, Green, Black ^_^¢¾l3ad_K1tty¢¾^_^ - Orange ♥J~Breezy™♥ - Orange, Pink Thickndaazz4ya - Burgundy, Gold, Red, Dark Blue, Pink Delicious~Dee - Pink, Purple, Black, Ice Blue FeLiCiA - Hot Pink, Hot Green Black, Silver +MRMostunderated+ - Red, Blue DamienDarke - Black, Dark Green AKAMRS.T - Purple Tweek - Green, Blue, Red Ŋǚ§н¥™ - Purple, Black, Silver MYSTA BIGZZZ - Blue D*E*L*I*Z*A* - Red, Blue, Green boldeagle - Blue ::..~*ΚΣЯIZZZMΛ*~..:: - Green ‡ Gøt

Tweet Tweet!
So i'm on Twitter, if you're into that sort of thing. I warn you i'm twice as boring as you think i am, and i maind Tweet to get out passive aggressive rage at idiotic customers. (I work at a gas station) http://twitter.com/Inked_Canvas

Tweet By Russian Lawmaker On Snowden Asylum In Venezuela Deleted
Tribune news wire reports 10:47 a.m. CDT, July 9, 2013 A tweet in which a senior Russian lawmaker said former U.S. spy agency contractor Edward Snowden had accepted Venezuela's offer of asylum was deleted from his Twitter feed shortly after it was posted on Tuesday.The lawmaker, Alexei Pushkov, later tweeted that he had seen the news on state-run Russian television channel Rossiya-24, but a representative of Rossiya-24 said it had been referring to Pushkov's initial tweet. Pushkov, the pro-Kremlin chairman of the international affairs committee in the lower parliament house, could not immediately be reached for comment.A Russian Foreign Ministry official declined immediate comment and the Venezuelan embassy in Moscow could not immediately be reached.Snowden, who is wanted in the United States on espionage charges after revealing details of secret surveillance programmes, is believed to be holed up in the transit area at a Moscow airport where he arrived on June 23 from Hong Kong.

Twelve Nights Ch. 01
Twelve Nights Ch. 01 by Daevious © Holiday fun for Mandy. * Mandy fairly skipped into the beauty shop where she worked. December 12, only thirteen shopping days left 'til Christmas. She'd left Sandra in bed, tangled in the sheets and surrounded by the detritus of a weekend-long session of debauchery. Her pussy still tingled from the last frenzy, barely half an hour ago. The cold wind off the lake blew in, lifting her skirt hem and arousing her even more. She'd been unable to find her panties in the rush to get out the door. Cindy, the receptionist, looked over her glasses at the flushed redhead. "You have a customer waiting." Mandy favored the other woman with a dazzling smile, hung her coat, and went to the back to see who was waiting for her. Probably Margaret or Patty; they both were going away to visit family. She saw the man in her chair and stopped stock still. "Hello, my dear." Oh, shit, thought Mandy, William! "I just need a trim." Mandy approached William

Twelve Nights Ch. 02
Twelve Nights Ch. 02 by Daevious © "On the second day of Christmas, my lover gave to me, Two lovely boobies and an orgasm with her tongue. -S." What does this one mean? Mandy had called in to work and lazed around into the afternoon; she still couldn't sit or even put on a loose skirt after the paddling last night. From Sandra, of all people. Her lover was slender, shy, and absolutely submissive to Mandy's wild ideas. Beth must've been behind this; William would not have been this subtle. Crafty and dangerous, yes. Subtle – that was Beth. Probably during one of their afternoon trysts in the executive bathroom at the office. Damn it, I don't want to be controlled like this. Her fingers rubbed at her clit to try and release the tension. And there is the doorbell. Shit, I have to put on something. She grabbed a short satin robe that barely covered her ass. It was nearly indecent but it didn't rub too much on her sore bottom. She went to the door. "Mandy?" The woman at

Twelve Nights Ch. 03
Twelve Nights Ch. 03 by Daevious © Part 3 "On the third day of Christmas, my lover gave to me, Three college boys, and an orgasm with her tongue. -S." OK, this can be dealt with. Don't leave the house, Mandy. Don't open the door, Mandy. Don't trust anyone, Mandy. That little devious cunt of a lover has been way too crafty in tying you up and screwing with your head. You just need to hide out here behind your deadbolt and wait it out. Right? But she has keys! Stay here and be trapped. Nope, not gonna happen to this girl. Mandy's fingers were driving her along to orgasm, her ass up in the air, still red two days after the paddling. Yep, go somewhere. Gotta hide out. Another orgasm rippled through her body. Mandy finally got out of bed around noon. Wraparound skirt, check. Thong so nothing was on her ass. Bra, blouse, overcoat, shoes. Out the door and off to the mall. Heh, try and find my butt here. I am so going to take this out of her hide when I catch her. She i

Twelve Nights Ch. 04
Twelve Nights Ch. 04 by Daevious © Part 4. Mandy stumbled to the kitchen butt naked. The scent of coffee lured her from her bed. She had the good ache that comes from too much sex making her legs wobble slightly. Coffee cup, then pour, then cream and sugar, then open eyes. Damn. Three perfect roses in a vase; a chocolate éclair nearly a foot long and oozing fresh whipped filling; and that little envelope with a lipstick imprint over the fold. She wiped the last drop of cream from the side of her mouth as her hands opened the card – better to know what was coming, after all. "On the fourth day of Christmas, my lover gave to me, Four public showings, and an orgasm from her tongue. Don't bother getting dressed, firebutt. -S." She dropped the card. That presumptuous minx! Mandy shuddered from anger. She won't show my naked ass off, not in this weather, not a chance. Her fingers twisted over her clit, bringing up an orgasm. I'll show her, she's wrong, not a chance. She slipped