Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The House Everybody Felt Shitty Even The Mouse. Dad's At the Whorehouse And Mom's Smoking Grass I'd Just Settled Down For A Warm Piece Of Ass. When Out On The Lawn I Heard Such A Clatter I Sprung For My Piece To See What Was The Matter. Then Out On The Lawn I Saw A Big Red Dick. I Knew In A Moment It Must Be Saint Nick. He Came Down The Chimney Like A Bat Out Of Hell I Knew In A Moment The Fucker Had Fell. He Filled All Our Stockings With Pretzels And Beer And A Big Rubber Dick For My Brother The Queer. He Shot Up The Chimney With A Thunderous Fart The Son Of A Bitch Blew The Chimney Apart. He Swore And He Cursed As He Rode Out Of Sight Piss On You All And Have A Hell Of A Night!"
