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Canadian's blog: "more about me"

created on 11/30/2006  |  http://fubar.com/more-about-me/b29701
Everyone that meets me on here sees me as a sweetheart, kind, great, loving person. But the thing is that there is stuff that ppl don't know about me. The stuff i tend to hide from ppl. Only the real close ppl on here and in my life know these things. It took a few good ppl on here for me to open up my eyes and start to deal with my demons. B/c if i don't, there just going to drive me more insane and put me in a straight jacket or even worse kill me. I know everyone has demons, but my demons have been eating me up so much for so many yrs and they've gotten the best of me. I let stuff get to me and bring me down big time. Then i take the stuff out on thee one person i care so much for. The person that holds thee key to my heart. I don't do it on purpose, i do it out of over reacting and not thinking straight. Really what i should be doing is backing off until my mind is set once again to have a decent convo with thee lovely lady that means so much to me. If it wasn't for her, i wouldn't be here today writing this blog. She knows who she is and all i can say i appreciate everything u do for me from the bottom of my heart. I know at times it don't seem that i do, but REALLY i do though. The part that is in the quotes is something that someone wrote about me and has really only known me for a couple of months now. I would like to share it with everyone on here. "You're a person true to your word, and I like that about you. You're also a good friend. I know it isn't as good as it can be between us, but just know that I honestly think you're a great person. Here's a little bit of advice I'd like to give you... test people out before you completely let your guard down. Try to think positive, even when you feel like you're all alone in the world and there's nothing good in left life to offer you. Be strong and have self-pride -- part of that is CHOOSING not to let things put you down and keeping yourself from growing to be the best you can be. My grandpa has always told me two things. One, YOU make your own luck in life - NOBODY but you, so it's your job to get the life you've always wanted. It's not going to come to you, you have to fight for it. Then two, you can sit around and feel sorry for yourself, or you can get up and get over it. Anyway, there's one last thing I'd like to tell you, and that is don't push things away. Problems are IMPOSSIBLE to forget, so when you push them away they're only sitting there waiting to be addressed, and growing even bigger. Face it and come to terms with it. You can do it, k? Give yourself a little more credit. :)" All i can say is this person is brought up by a very loving family and a very wise grandfather too! I'm taking this advice. i just wish i had this advice a few yrs ago. So this way i could've controlled my demons better and faced them head on. Before i let them get the better of me. But really it's never to late to take control of them and deal with them. Which i'm doing.
December 3rd will mark the 8th anniversary of my sons death. On this day he was born a still born. It has been so hard for me to get through this so many times but I've done it so many times. It doesn't get any easier at all. B/c when I look at my nephew Cameron and my niece Skylar. I see all the things that I'm missing with my son. But even though he is not with me right now. I know he is watching me and looking out for me too. He is my special angle in the sky's. I think about him every single day that I'm living. But I do know that I will be with him someday, but not right now. When my time has come, I will see my son again. In away I'm looking forward to that day in time. Since he is not here with me. I put all of my love and joy into Skylar and Cameron. When they want something they will always get it from me. B/c I'm there favorite uncle out of 10 of us. :D.
On December 5th/07 i lost an amazing woman in my life. It was my grandmother. May u rest in peace and look after all of us that loved u much and cherished what u brought to us. U will never be forgotten at all. U will always be remembered for the love that u gave all of us. For every single tear that we shed, we r sheding the greatness of ur love for every single one of us! Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Now u can be back with ur dearest husband that u love so much with all ur heart. it has been 6 yrs since u seen him last. but i know he will put his arms u and give u a kiss on ur forehead like he always did to u. May u look over us and look after the ones that we have lost all ready. Nick and Amber, the great grandchilderen that passed away way b4 there time. may u look after them for now until Donna (Sister) and I get up there to be with them once again. Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket These candles will burn for u and for the others that we have lost in our family for ever and ever. For every candle that is burning u will see that we r thinking of u and u will never be forgotten ever. U will always be in our thoughts and our hearts. We will cherish what u have taught us and what u have gave to us from the upbring that u did on all ur grandchildren and great grandchildren. Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket These 2 videos where my grandmothers favorite songs to listen too! Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Angel - Sarah McLachlan

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My name is Jason. I was born in Toronto, ON. I lived there until I was 12 yrs. Old. Then I moved to pickering Ontario and I lived there until I was 27 yrs old. Now I'm living in Oshawa, Ontario. My parents were divorced just after I turned 7. My dad got custody of us. Don't ask me how, but he did though. Lol. When I was 8 yrs old I started smoking. Since then I quiet for about a yr in total. But I'm still smoking though. I've been smoking in total of 22 yrs now. When I was 11 I fell on some monkey bars and lost one of my kidney do to the impact of the fall. During the operation, the doctors lost me twice. They operated on me for 16 hrs straight. When I was 13 yrs old. I started to drink alcohol. I did this until I was 18. Just b4 I was legal to buy it. The reason I quiet this is b/c I didn't see the point in me drinking anymore b/c it didn't do anything for me. But slowly kill me, cause of my one kidney. The reason for this, my liver is working over time, cause of the one kidney. I graduated high school just b4 I turned 20. The reason for this is that I enjoyed it to much and that I knew I wouldn't really see all of my friends again. B/c we all would be going our different ways. :( At the age of 23. I was engaged to one of my X's. At this point we broke up and we were having a child together. But a couple of weeks after we broke up. Our son was a still born. Ever since then my life has been going down hill. Since my parents have been divorced, my mother has only called me twice since that time and has only emailed me about 10 times. I don't hold it against her at all. I know the reason for this. It is b/c of my step father. He pretty much has control over her and doesn't want much to do with us kids at all. Even though we r not kids anymore. Lol. Now that I'm 30. I've owned 4 cars. I'm saving up for a house. Also I've been doing everything on my own. If u want to know more about me just don't be afraid and ask me question. Jason
Happiness.... I wonder what it is sometimes? I find happiness when I'm around my friends and family. But I am never completely happy. Its like there's something missing? Or is it just loneliness...? I dunno. Does being with someone make you happy and keep you from being lonely? Well, yes and no? Are you with them for the right reasons or just because? I think there's alot of people who waste there time so that they aren't lonely. I know I have before. I'll be the first to admit, and I'm still lonely and not completely happy. First, you need to find yourself. Who you are.. and what you want to be. Love yourself... or you will never be able to love someone else. Don't settle for just Mr. Right or Ms Right now. Look for Mr. Right or Ms Right, but don't be afraid to get to know someone. Quit comparing everyone to your X. Your not with them for a reason. It didn't work out, move on! It only means there is someone else better out there for you, and if it so happens you do belong with your X, god will bring you back together. But don't sit around waiting for it to happen. If you love someone, tell them! If you miss someone, tell them... if you like someone, tell them! Don't wait for the opportunity to pass you by, you may regret it one day. Love is about taking chances. Making a fool of yourself, and doing things you may have never done before. I'm 31, Single..I'm not completely happy. I don't see my family much, and I MISS THEM! I miss my old friends!! I spend as much time with my friends as I can but I'm still lonely. But I love meeting new people. And I do want to find someone who makes me really happy. I want to have fun, and take my time getting to know someone. Ive been used.. Ive been cheated on... dumped.. I'm still hanging in there. I really am a great guy. Ive just made bad decisions. I'm sure we all have. Take your time to get to know someone, be honest... Talk to them. Take them out. Make them feel special. If you know your not right for each other, or you cant get over your X, or you found someone else.. be honest. Wouldn't you want them to do the same. The worst feeling in the world is to be unwanted or unloved as well as confused. Take a chance... You may find the girl or boy of your dreams.... they maybe right under your nose. Saving smiles for you...

My grandmother has been in the hospital for over 2 yrs due to her breaking her neck falling down the stairs at her house. She has passed away tonight at 12:10 am during her operation that she was having. Her heart failed. She was the greatest woman alive in my own opinion. She was the heart and soul of my family. Every single yr in the summer when i was growing up my grandparents would take care of my siblings and I. Since my parents been divorce my grandparents were like my parents. now that they r both gone it feels like my heart has been torn apart in so many ways. This time of yr i hate the most. Not cause it is Chrismas time. B/c most of the people i love so much have passed away around this time of the yr. This is a pic i have of my grandmother and my grandfather in my family album. It is the only pic i have gotten from my dad at this moment in time.

WHAT I SAID TO MY DADS G/F i'm sorry about tonight/last night. all depends on when u read this email and thank u for the dinner too! For me i can't see/like fighting at all. especially with people that he shouldn't be fighting with. He shouldn't be fighting with the people that love him so much. he should be protecting instead. The only way i know how to get him to stop fighting with people is to get him to go against me and that is it. i've been doing this for as long as i can remember. i'm so use to it! Which is sad though. b/c really no one should ever be use to doing that ever. but i am. He should be lucky to have someone that really loves him. It would be nice to have that too. but my time will come for that. (maybe) I'm the only kid that talks to him and see him out of the 4 of us and i'm the one that gets into fights with him. if u don't hear from me in awhile u know y. i'm going to stay low and quiet for awhile. b/c i don't need this and i don't want to get into another fight with him at all. I know that fighting never gets u anywhere in this life of ours. so i'm going to do the right thing and stay away for awhile. more then likely it is for the best. if u still want me to do the scrapping of the windows. i will do that. i'm not worried about the money at all. i don't mind helping out when help is needed. but after that. i'm going to leave and not say a word at all while i'm there. so this way nothing will be said from my end! if u can tell i was thinking about this while i was on my way home from ur place. ****Jason, You truly are a wonderful, very bright, handsome young man and in the short time I have known you, I have come to admire your wisdom and your temperament. No pressure, and I will understand, but may I have your cell number to talk to you briefly. I promise it won't be an attack on your dad. Marisa ME: how did it go yesterday? i thought u would've sent me something on how it went. i hope it went good and not the other way. i don't like thinking negitive. i do want to think positive instead. :D HER: Sorry Jason, yesterday was so hectic with personal issues that I've been working very hard to get on top of things today. Fortunately your dad was quite humble and quiet. I told him I was leaving for the viewing and that I would be back afterwards as Jamie had called and asked if I could help him move the last of his personal belongs from his house. Your dad asked if I could use his help and I told him it was much appreciated. As usual, your dad worked very very hard and after 3 car loads we finished around midnight -- so to answer your question, yes, it was positive. I am so very glad you guided me yesterday because I could have made a very big mistake without your input. Thank you! Eventually I know we will get around to discussing the scrapping of windows... so we'll be in touch soon. Any chance of the Oster family joining the Soulis family for Thanksgiving dinner on the Monday? Believe it or not, we do have a lot to be thankful for. So many other families are worse off than we are. With love, Marisa * THE OUT COME OF THE STORY IS THAT MY DAD AND HIS G/F R STILL TOGETHER CAUSE OF WHAT I SAID/GUIDENCE TO HER AND FOR THAT SHE IS VERY GREATFUL FOR IT. SHE TOLD ME ON THE PHONE THAT I SHOULD GO FOR BEING A GUIDENCE COUNCILER IN RELATIONSHIPS. FOR ME I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD CAUSE I'VE BEEN OUT OF SCHOOL FOR OVER 10 YRS NOW AND IF I GO BACK I PRETTY THINK I WILL THINK I KNOW MORE THEN THE TEACHERS. WHICH IS NORMALLY THE STORY. LOL. BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO HELP OUT PEOPLE AS MUCH AS I CAN WHEN I'M ABLE TOO!
(1) ugly (2) O.K. (3) cute (4) hot (5) sexy (6) Fine (7) YUMMY (8) I would do u (9) I want ur kids (10) Wanna go out?
This is the SEXY test. Who has the guts to fill it out Post this and see who will fill this out. You may be surprised to see some of the answers. Mark the answer with an "X" [X] How old do I look? How good do i look from 1-10 (1-ugly / 10-HoTT) [ ] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3 [ ] 4 [ ] 5 [ ] 6 [ ] 7 [ ] 8 [ ] 9 [ ] 10 Would you rather.. [ ] Do me Or [ ] Date me Would you rather be on top or bottom? [ ] Top [ ] Bottom Do I have pretty eyes? [ ] Yes [ ] No Do you like my body? [ ] Yes [ ] No Would you be sad if I moved? [ ] Yes [ ] No Would you come visit me? [ ] Yes [ ] No Am I.. [ ] Hott [ ] Beautiful [ ] Sexy [ ] Cute Would you rather.. [ ] Makeout [ ] Cuddle [ ] Fuck [ ] Go out Do you want to go out with me? [ ] Yes [ ] No Would you give me your number? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Name: Where did we meet: Take a stab at my middle name: How long have you known me: Do I smoke: What was your first impression of me upon meeting: Color of my eyes: Do I have any siblings: What's one of my favourite things to do: Do you remember one of the first things I said to you: What's my favourite type of music: What is the best feature about me: Am I shy or outgoing: Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: What's your favourite memory of me: Any special talents: Would you consider me a friend: Would you ever consider ever going out with me: How many children do I have: If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be: If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring? I can't wait to see the answers.
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