So yeah. I'm depressed. I can admit that. I just dont know why I feel the way I do. I have no reason to feel this way about myself or my life. I've got clothes, food, a wonderful and for the most part fuctional family, friends, a good education, and some sembalance of positive plans for my life. I've never really messed up. I'm a Christian. A lot of people would probably call me spoiled or priviledged. I just hate myself. I do not think I'm pretty, and I feel very very little self worth. Everything that goes wrong somehow has to do with me, and I'm sick of being the screw-up. Very few people in this world can make me feel worth something. If I ever loose V, I have no clue what I'm going to live for, what goal will drive me. For 4 years he was my goal, making him see me was what kept me alive. Now we're together, and when I'm with him he melts all of this negative shit away. Him and my dad are the only guyz in my life that can do that.
I've been playing psychologist for a number of friends lately, my little sister included. These friends happen to be the ones I can talk to, minus V, who has yet to learn about this depression. I dont want to dump my problems on them, I dont want them to worry about me on top of all of their shit. I honestly dont know what to do or where to go or who to talk to. ::sigh:: Oh well. I'll come out of it sooner or later. I always do. Thanks for taking the time to read this pathetic blog. Much love to all,
Sil'ilos
