Icarus's blog: "Somantics"

[Real life update]
So Sunday I went into the urgent care for some diagnostic tests.

I don't really want to publically state what's wrong but here are some fun factoids.

It might be a chronic condition that I've had a long time.

Its not contagious.

Its fairly unique to my anatomy and "something guys just get".

And I've got some internal bleeding and infections as a result.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

So I'm on a 10-20 day anti-inflamatory/anti-biotic regimen, I have to do some home-diagnostic tests, and I'm generally out of energy and in constant discomfort to slight pain along with some pretty high fatigue and lack of sleep and stress.

Cancer is ... pretty much out of the equation.
Unless I don't respond to medication and then I'm totally fucked.

*thumbs up*

But due to my test results and my age, all indications are that its an infection
not cancer.

I wonder who I'm trying to convince
me or you?

[/real life update]

[Long ass video game rant that I've probably already written]
Anyway
Watching Initial D
playing the HELL out of Way of the samurai 3 (one of my favorite games, one of my favorite franchises- someone finally released a GOOD guide to all 23 endings and there's a couple hundred unique and necessary dialogue options and sequences in this game that you have to do correctly and in order- and this can include "kill this guy- don't kill this guy- kill this guy after this, talk to this guy after this- talk to this guy BUT ONLY AT NIGHT!!!)

I
have
a
thing

for WEIRD Japanese games where you go out-collect, harvest, train, etc

2 Major cases in point
the Way of the Samurai Franchise (or WOTS)
and Tokyo Extreme Racer Zero.

I may have ranted about these games before- you're free to hit fastforward

the gyst is

WOTS- there's a chance a CHANCE that a major character or a random dude will be carrying a sword with BAD ASS stats and abilities on certain difficulties in certain areas.

The pride of my collection actually dates back to WOTS 1 where I got an "Axe" on super-hard mode.
There was a down-stance saw
a side stance naginata
a one-hand stance iron ball (AWESOME for breaking people's swords)
and the top-stance axe.

Most FAQ's aren't even AWARE of the damn thing- especially when I found it.

And I had to kill like... 100 guys in one playthrough (killed a couple thousand looking for it) in super hard mode- and ... just saw a dude walking around with it said "oh fuck! A rare sword" and anihilated him, and took it for my own.

My WOTS 1 and WOTS2 I consider "as complete as it gets"
I've got the main character weapons- the rare ones, the good swords, the shit swords, the swords NOBODY else knows about.

In WOTS3 I'm working on my collection again. And I spent over 4 hours hunting ONE sword this week. Spawning the same guy over and over and over again- and looking for slight changes in his sword design before challenging him- and murdering him

on instant kill mode

which means- even the most sloppy ass lazy thug is gonna kill you in one hit.

You'd better be good.
It'd be even better if you were perfect

but what WOTS3 fixed in the franchise was fast travel (teleportation) and mid-level saving

WOTS1- if you died, you lost your WHOLE in-game inventory- that includes maxed out swords, everything!

and it had an autosave function on startup
meaning

if you pressed restart when you died

you loaded up dead and you lost your inventory.

This ALSO meant that in the summer of 2002, I lost about 10 play throughs and about as many maxed out swords (these take hours to get) due to power outtages from hugegantor thunderstorms. I don't even play that game any more without a backup save somewhere far away from my PS, and without a backup generator or a suicide pact.

I even invested in a 5-minute battery surge protector.


So
WOTS3 sword hunting- even on "you're gonna die" mode
isn't a tenth as hardcore as WOTS1.

What really pisses me off though- is I saw the main boss with a rare sword on his hip and I had worked on that playthrough about 6 hours to get my reputation up- if I had attacked him then- it would've wasted 6 hours of bullshit and ended my game with the "nice job assassin" ending.

I had to ask myself "when's the next time I'm even going to see that sword? And will it take me more than six hours to get him to spawn it again when I'm specifically looking for it?"

Most times I just drop EVERYTHING I'm doing and go for the rare.

But the screwball thing is-
Most of the rare character swords are common drops on instant kill mode on ... just random assholes.

I may have already had that sword in my inventory for all I knew.

Anyway

my progress is about ... 80% on sword collection
its about 20% on technique mastery

I haven't decided if I'm gonna learn every skill on every weapon.

I do have it for the draw/fencing stance. "Iaido" or "Battoujutsu" the "art of drawing the sword".

This is
probably my favorite fighting style.

You keep your sword sheathed, and rely on one perfect well timed slash.

It's got FAST WIDE slashes.
And you'd better believe this is useful on instant kill mode.
But ever since its introduction in WOTS2- I've been a big fan of this style.

Some noteable characters that use this fighting style
Kenshin Himura- Ruroni Kenshin
Kaun- Bushido Blade 2
Sasaki Kojiro- This dude's actually a real person. (Arguably Musashi's most famous duel)
About any character EVER based on Sasaki Kojiro. (and there's a fuckload)

Anyway- I've got that style collected and completed.

There's
Upper stance
Middle stance
Lower stance
Single stance
Ninja stance
Draw stance
Spear stance
*Dual wield
*Ninja Dual wield
*Barehands

*(mastered by consumeable items)

My favorites are
Draw (fast, difficult to use, shit defense, but if you've got great timing- and you SHOULD from playing this game- you're a lightning murder god, the people that use this stance are typically murderers, badasses, and ronin, and I'm not just saying the murderer/badass part because I use it- seriously, the guys that just... creep around at night "murderer" "random slasher" "suspicious person" to murder you use this sword, except the old samurai hunters and the female assassins)

Dual
(omg pwnsauce abilities and - its BROKE in this game, it combines the attack/defense/weight of BOTH swords you're using and none of their combos- so in other words, if you make 2 zero weight swords with 150+ attack, and no abilities worth mentioning, if you dual wield thise swords you have RETARDEDLY fast attacks, and around 300 attack and defense- the downside??? You have to use 2/3 sword slots of your inventory- but there's an NPC that travels with you, that if you unlock- she'll store your swords that you pick up for you- oh and don't even get me STARTED on my custom swords- they're double length nodachis that sweep across the WHOLE DAMN SCREEN! I kill people I can't even see!)

Spear (which is arguably just a weird variant of side-stance, all spears prior to this game actually were modified sidestance)
...

The rest have some pretty obvious weakness and awkward attacks to me. But I've been using them for nearly 10 years.

So

Side (fleurishy attacks that get you into trouble or when used correctly dodge and hit for way too much damage- all about timing, there are few remarkable exceptions to the side stance, they're all about the same in every game- though the main bad guy's sword in WOTS1- also available in WOTS2 had a TON of power, this is one of those "I'm too cool to be in this game" type sword, most people that use this sword type are vassals, personal attendants, some ronin, and foppish well dressed types)

ninja (one-hand's drug addled cousin. Lots of kicks, counters, jumps throws and crazy shit- some have takedown throws and do a ton of damage- but for every AWESOME technique on ninja- there's at least 6 shit ones, and good luck 1. finding ninja swords 2. finding ninja swords that don't have shitty att/def, or- aren't the size of a dagger in a game full of swords and long-swords, you need to be a badass to use ninja, but a different kind of badass than drawstance, favored by assassins and there's always at least ONE main character with a ninja sword behind the scenes fucking it up for EVERYONE in WOTS, so ... generally murderous self serving assholes use this weapon- "samurai hunters" in WOTS3 use em- and they're scary little old men that look exactly like the savepoint guys except they carry bow/arrow and ninja swords- if you ever see an old man walking quickly toward you in WOTS3 you've got two options- heal up and draw your sword, or fucking RUN!!!)

one-hand (fast, long combos, fairly short range, traditionally LOW damage, once you learn a single hand's attack chain- you can perfect-block the whole sequence... sometimes without even pressing block, and you'll have a "aww that was cute" moment and hit them with a "blast attack" for half their health, because they're usually open for a frame or two after the chain, I LOVE fighting onehanders because to me they're an opportuntity to practice my blocking timing- and then I get to put blood on my sword and awesome hat >> the exceptions to one handers are the bittekoutsu- WOTS2 and 3, and the iron ball WOTS1- the iron ball was a sword breaker with no damn range, and some very powerful but SLOW attacks- the bittekoutsu was the sword of an infamous loon in WOTS2 who ... god she just murdered fuckers, and its a bit slower, a bit more powerful and not NEARLY as dependant on combos as the other single's- it just... stabs, and flails and murders, binetsu is the iconic onehander- its an estoc originally wielded by one of the main character's foreign girlfriends from WOTS1, its delicate, flowery, and strings kicks, spins, spiral cuts backflips and all kinds of crazy shit together. Bittekoutsu and binetsu couldn't be more different- anyway, this sword is popular among the "undisciplined" characters, typically a bit rougish but skilled in posture and practice)

upper (this is an overhead stance- traditionally its slow to block- and it leaves the midsection WIDE open- so in game terms that means a relatively slow block speed, and slow predictable attacks, the problem with this stance is that MOST of its attacks are linear, predictable, a little slow- but POWA-ful!, some up-swords have some good LONG sweeping attacks and the knockback from upper stance is usually the best- the downsides are that you've got a lot of lunge attacks that MISS! regularly. Look at it this way- when you're stabbing- the surface area of the sword that's endangering you is 4 cm's in a line- when you do a big ass SWEEP attack like on a sidestance or draw attack- you can hit like 4 people at once- see the problem with using this sword?- step to the left and bonk the SHIT out of users of this style while they're mid swing, there's one sword in the franchise -and its been in every game, that breaks the norm, two- the Dai-Kuronoma which is a HUGE powerhouse sword with a ton of jumping slashes and overhead falling slashes, a helicopter spin, and a throw that's instant death in most of the games, and ... I forget the name of it but I call it the "shark fin" because its got crazy jaggies- and it attacks with this huge arcing windmill mostly linear swing, but it has counters and mid-windmill attacks to parry most situations- so if you charge the windmill, sidestep it, block it, whatever- it can usually respond, this is a bit of a lordly weapon- Dai Kuronoma was used by one of the bosses and he was quite the refined ruthless dictator, its POWER and the people that use it tend to seek it, its not very popular among crucial characters since WOTS1 though, side and secret characters fucking love it)

middle (this is the stance most people have seen "forward guard" it has a great balance of covering the torso and head, and sacrifices little in speed and power, all stances have a sword swing associated to them- most stances are only one step away from "middle" bearing that in mind- middle is a GOOD stance.. but its BORING! its got some sweeps, some throws, some ... meh combos and chains, I've not been impressed by a mid stance sword in quite some time- except this crazy one I got in WOTS1 that had a 780 damage throw that was basically a fucking blender. Start the throw- slashslashslashslashslashslashslash... profit, this is every man's stance, a lot of the samurai, dojo types and ronin use this style, but its actually pretty rare in WOTS3.)

lower (this is the "opposite" of upper stance- a ton of rolling, lunging, flailing attacks, the head and spine is unprotected, the body is covered from the posture- lots of lunges, sweeps, rolls- and antics. I've not been a fan of "downstance" since the beginning, but I did like the "saw" from WOTS1. Its kind of a random ass- dodge style that lacks power but has quite a bit of athleticism and speed- one could say that the draw stance is the offspring of side and down stance, but... it only managed to take in the good. Like I said- Saw is the exception to this stance, and it had this awesome throw where you'd make a single slow slash- and if it made contact, it'd burrof into the enemie's shoulder, and go Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah up and down and spray blood EVERYWHERE! Ton of damage too. The Bittekoutsu has a similar attack, and it is hilarious because it just DIGS into guts and spins around. I've died a few times to that attack, this is an unrefined style- most NPCs that have used this are hooligans, thugs, and screwoffs.)

Ninja dualwield (its pretty much the same category as dualwield, but with some of the acrobatic CRAZY of ninja stance, so I didn't think it warranted its own section)

Barehands
(... For the "brokeness" of dualwield and simlarly ninja dualwield which requires 2 ninja swords, but oddly enough if you have one ninja sword and one standard you default to just dualwield- barehands is the wimpness.
Alright- I'm not entirely sure how attack power is modified on barehands, but I know this much
its WEAK!!!
Even when I have 300 att on dual swords and I switch to barehand mode
I am wailing on one generic bad guy for minutes.
The advantage to barehand is that all of your attacks are unblockable.
But so are the attacks made on you!!!
You can't block, you can't parry, you can't do SHIT! except dodge.
Sword comes down and you're not hitting a dude first
you're gonna get cut and bleed all over mom's carpet.

And for typically a LOT more damage.
No instant kills
no blocks
just unblockable bonks and a couple throws.

Nobody uses this! Even unarmed characters just run away instead of putting up their dukes- I suggest you do the same!
Only the main character uses this if he's STUPID enough to elect to do so, the guides that say "do a barehands ending" always recommend doing it on easy mode on a light combat ending- and even then its a fucking chore!- if this feature is in WOTS4- out March 2011 in JP
I hope its a MILLION FUCKING TIMES BETTER!!!)

[end long ass video game rant]

So-
Initial D
THE
Racer manga/anime.

Its what made the fast and the furious.
Only ... Initial D has about 100x more interest, story, and character.

I recommend it, its on hulu, its actioney and character driven.

[Secondary video game rant]
And it got me thinking "fuck I wanna play Tokyo Extreme Racer Zero"
-okay
see that above rant?
Apply everything about sword collecting to TER0
... now make it twice as hard
and twice as crazy

sometimes you have to be driving at 7 PM on a thursday (according to your PS clock) for a racer to appear. Or, you have to have all 4's in your money. Or ... prime numbers of cars, or only specific cars will spawn other specific cars
etc.
100% completion on that game=facing off against the hardest fucking racer
ever.
After doing some of the weirdest shit
on one of the hardest racing games
WITH TRAFFIC
ever.

And your lifebar is not just your distance from the opponent, its also the damage your car takes from bumping, colliding, or just outright crashing.

100 MPH head on collision with anything in that game is instant loss.
And some guys won't appear if you have under 100% win ratio.

yeah
its fucking HARD.
Oncoming traffic while you're DRIFTING in a viper.


Because the viper is about the only car that can win certain races (believe me we tried)


with oncoming traffic, and barricades and crazy shit.

Its not one of those racing games like NFS or Initial D where ANY car can win any race.

No
only the super cars can win
by a narrow margin
with perfect racing
and that's after you tune it specifically to one of about 100 tracks
gear ratios
suspension
weight
tire grip
I practically had to go to votek just to play this game.

I really have spent over 5 hours tuning one car for one race.
And it wasn't even my game file.

I've beat Speed King with 2 cars.
A total of 4 times.
One was just from stupid luck of him being WAY out front, and crashing.

And I had to set him up on my favorite course, with my favorite cars with a slight lead starting out.

He's not even the hardest racer in the game.

You'll have to block
you'll have to charge
you'll have to pit
you'll have to slide
you'll have to weave between cars at
you'll have to ram people into barricades and divides
you'll have to drive a V-12 with butter tires and NO frame reinforcement
all at the minimum of 100 mps- I think 210 is our record top max speed.

you will load, and save, and load, and save, and load, and save
and you will leave your game running while the car goes on autopilot while you go to work every day of the week to do the "mileage" trick to get the top tier modifications. And then STILL get your ass handed to you.

Initial D?
King of all racer franchises in every media?
Bring it.

I've got my blackbelt in bad relationships
crazy
collection games
and driving simulators

Too bad I actually suck at this game in arcades >>
:3
[/secondary video game rant]

What's for lunch?

Fuck its nto even 9 yet...