ive come to the conclusion... as i have many many many times before... (i really should start leaving a post-it on my forehead or something...) if i cant be myself with the people i talk to...

all the time

than i really shouldnt waste my time talking to them. right? i mean chickadee doesnt waste anymore of her precious time than she has to when dealing with the monumentous amounts of idiots she encounters... so why then...should i have to censor myself for the social ease of someone elses over emotionalism? im blunt. im sarcastic im often times tactless im stubborn im somewhat abrasive. im brutally honest i have minimal patience (which im working on) i hardly ever finish anything i start im highly anal retentive i have a temper im often flippant and sometimes dismissive im not nice. those who are truly my friends know this, recognise this and on some level or another accept this. and when they dont, they have absolutely noooo problem calling me on my shit. which i highly appreciate. and yannow what? sometimes we take breaks from each other. sometimes we argue. it goes with the territory. i hate making new friends. seriously. if you want those nicey nice touchy feely in constant touch with the sensitive side of humanity...go elsewhere...find yourself a nice lil support group of therapised people who will let you cry on their shoulder cuz mommy didnt love you enough and daddy never played candyland with you. i am not that person. if your bf is kicking your ass or treating you like a doormat? then im your gal. and while i might not coddle you...i will help you remove your head from your sphincter. when you fall down i will help you back up. when you're drowning i'll reach out a hand. when you want me to go away...i'll stand on the sidelines but i'll never really go away if we're really friends. if you yell at me...i will let you if i yell at you...for gods sake yell back. and if you dont have the balls for that and feel the need to utilise 'block' thats fine too...but for fucks sake at least do it RIGHT. i realise and recognise there are nice people in the world. good for them. whatever floats your boat ive pretended to be nice under the guidelines of the whole smile theory? yannow? smile when ya dont feel like smiling and eventually you'll feel happier or some other nonsensical shit like that... guess what. it didnt work. why? cuz its fucking pretending. i dun like pretending. i like realism. i like the people that flip off the shitty drivers i like the people that send back their orders cuz the restaurant fucked it up. i like the people who cut off other people without causing an accident or slamming on the breaks. i like people who hang out in the middle of an intersection when they're tryin to make a left turn. i like people that speed. i like people that cuss. i like people who arent afraid to tell it like it is. i like people who are meaner than i am. i also like people who are nicer than i am. i dislike people who are sickly sweet. they give me a fucking headache. i like people who stand for something. i like people who have opinions they're not afraid to stand up for regardless of who agrees with them. i like assholes. they make life interesting. to me anyway. well obviously. people who have nothing better to bitch about then their hair n their nails and their parents need to go out into the real world and stand on their own 2 fucking feet...have a look around...and get back to me...cuz i'd love to know just how rosey and sunshiney they feel then. its really easy to point fingers when you're living with your parents. come support 3 kids on $1400 a month when the rent is a grand not including utilities and food...and still hafta find a way to buy that toilet paper needed for ass wiping and food in their mouths...n then after that try n tell me i need better money managment skills and to prioritise better. life makes people the way they are. i make no excuses. i make no apologies for who i am. this is me. take it or leave it. its as simple or as complicated as you make it. its my fucking blog and everything stated here is of the opinion of the blogger...if the bloggee disagrees he or she can gladly go fuck themselves with a rusty nail.