LOVER IN ALL SHAPES.
Van Goethe
To be like a fish,
Brisk and quick, is my wish;
If thou cam'st with thy line.
Thou wouldst soon make me thine.
To be like a fish,
Brisk and quick, is my wish.
( An interesting opening. Sets an easily understood pathology for what comes after. The musings of a lover for their paramour about how the attraction would play out if the poet were in another physical form.
Personally, it reminds me of Nancy who wanted to dive into things too quickly. For some reason, she wasn't interested in learning about who I was.)
Oh, were I a steed!
Thou wouldst love me indeed.
Oh, were I a car
Fit to bear thee afar!
Oh, were I a steed!
Thou wouldst love me indeed.
(A bit of dramtic whining. The concept of being willing to change yourself because you think it will make you more attrative is not a new one. Too often, though, the facade will come down, and then the paramour is left looking at someone they do not recognize and usually are incompatable with.
Personally, this is Jenny, my wife. This is also Nancy, who came with offers of being a friend and never tried to learn who I was before she offered herself to me. When the facade came down, there stood not a friend, but a skilled hunter who exected her trap had sprung successfully. Thank God I am not a lesser man....)
I would I were gold
That thy fingers might hold!
If thou boughtest aught then,
I'd return soon again.
I would I were gold
That thy fingers might hold!
(This is a sweet thought. No matter what happens to separate us, I will return to you.
Personally, this seems to be something that is destined to happen in my life. Just wish I knew who it will be.)
I would I were true,
And my sweetheart still new!
To be faithful I'd swear,
And would go away ne'er.
I would I were true,
And my sweetheart still new!
(A rumination on when love was new. A very sweet one in fact.
Personally, I would love to experience this feeling again. Emotionally, I feel it is going to be a challenge. I am learning daily just how much Jenny's Violation of my trust has scared me deeply.)
I would I were old,
And wrinkled and cold,
So that if thou said'st No,
I could stand such a blow!
I would I were old,
And wrinkled and cold.
(Just a personal comment. I wish I could stand the blows. I am sorry that my deeply scared psyche has led me to deliver such blows, recently.)
An ape I would be,
Full of mischievous glee;
If aught came to vex thee,
I'd plague and perplex thee.
An ape I would be,
Full of mischievous glee
( An interesting way to describe the lover's intention to provide comfort and security.
Personally, I try not to emulate actions that might be construed as stalker-like.)
As a lamb I'd behave,
As a lion be brave,
As a lynx clearly see,
As a fox cunning be.
As a lamb I'd behave,
As a lion be brave.
(Four animals and their associated characteristics. Invoked by the lover for proclaiming the virtues of his love.)
Whatever I were,
All on thee I'd confer;
With the gifts of a prince
My affection evince.
Whatever I were,
All on thee I'd confer.
(The lover professes he would sacrifice all, his love is so great.
I remember feeling this way. There was a time that my love for my wife was so great and overflowing, I even felt this way about certain close friends. Unfortunately, Jenny damaged me so deeply, that now I cannot summon this feeling for anyone other than my children......)
As nought diff'rent can make me,
As I am thou must take me!
If I'm not good enough,
Thou must cut thine own stuff.
As nought diff'rent can make me,
As I am thou must take me!
1815.*
(Despite all of the professions of love, in the end the lover gives over that he must be accepted as he is, for what he is. If he is found wanting, it is up to the paramour to cast the final moulding.
Personally, I really wish Jenny would have done what was right, rather than what she chose to do. Perhaps it is an implication of her true character and I was fooled for so many years. Our mutual friends have said I was blind to her true nature. Her family has said it is just the stubborn streak in her that once she makes a decision, facts and reality no longer matter. Our friends may be speaking some truth, but I know Jenny for who she was for so long. Her family speaks total truth.
I guess there is always going to be a part of me that hopes Jenny will open her eyes and look at the truth. I have never backed away for admitting my faults from 2000 to 2005. I have not re-spun the past the way she has, omitting certain scenes to support a decision that I know is wrong in my heart. I know, even today, Jenny still is looking at the depressed, frustrated Scott of the past. I don't blame her for not liking him. I don't like him. But he was left behind in Houston.
I just wished Jenny would open her eyes and see the Scott that is here today......................)
