These are a few things I've learned over my life. I am writing them down here because I think they might be helpful to others.
1. Never tell a hermaphrodite to go fuck them self.......they can.
2. Always watch your head when going to place your little one in the car seat. The kids head is usually higher then yours is. My poor son, I think he only cried because he realised we were related.
3. When getting high don't over do it. After 6 joints you don't get any higher, just lower in your stash.
4. If all the guys at the black tie affair have the same exact tuxedo on.....they all dressed correctly. If two gals have the same dress on at it.......IT'S WAR
5. If you are over 30...don't use the trampoline you bought the kids. There come an age when one should never try to put one's ass over their head and bounce.
6. Dogs don't like trampoline's
7. Never fart around a blind skunk, it just makes them horney.
8. Having sex doggy style does not mean humping your wife's leg.
9. Plastic wrap in never a good substitute for a condom.
10. Women never assume your husband knows what you mean.
