Recently I have been playing counselor to my friends. It seems alot of my friends are having issues with dating. I am no expert in this area. On the other hand I AM an expert in this area. It is a paradox of life. We are all experts ,yet none of us are qaulified to speak.
I have had some of the worst relationships on record. I have had relationships that when it ended..we went our seperate ways and stayed friends to this day. On the other hand I have had relationships end in a way that made the Nagasaki and Hiroshima bombs seem like a firecracker.
One friend recently told me about how a date she went on. By the end of the night they ended up making love. After that point all the guy would talk about was sex. Ladies this is a clue that should let you know his true intentions. When all a guy talks about is sex , you know what the only thing he wants is.
My other friend I am much closer to. I have know her for years now and am very proud to call her my best friend. The gentleman she got involved with had some deep issues with his past. She knew about his insecurities and was still willing to hang in there and help him with them. I have to give her alot of credit for that. Not too many people would do that. His issues came from the women he dated in the past that treated extremely poorly. He was made to feel worthless. My friend knowing this still tried to have a relationship with him. Unfortunately his ghosts from the past caused him to feel unworthy of being with her and he put a stop to the relationship. I feel bad for her. I wish there was a way it could have worked out for them.
As for me, I have an incredible lady that I love dearly. There are times I think to myself how lucky I am to have her. There are other times that I think that she's too good for me. I did not win her heart by letting my past get the best of me. I did not win her love for me by only talking about sex. In fact I honestly and earnestly did my best to get to know her and be friends with her first. It was only after I got to know her and love her as a friend that I proceeded to pursure a romantic relationship with her. And trust me it wasn't easy. I had to prove myself over and over agsain to her. After a period of time......that seemed akin to forever, I finally wore her down. We are very happy together and love each other alot.
I consider myself the luckiest guy on the planet. I have a great girl-friend, a great family and the two best friends a guy can have.
I did not get these relationships by talking about sex all the time. I did not get them by letting my past run my life. I have made my mistakes in the past. I have learned from them. I do not regret them. They were merely learning experiences. So I say to anyone look for "signs" when looking into a romantic or other type of relationship. You will have to decide if the risk is too great or not. This can only be decided by what you know about yourself.
I wish every one good luck in all your present and future relationships. I hope and prey that you all find happiness and love for the rest of your life.
MJBlette
