MJBlette New Pics Up's blog: "Relationships"

10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier then changing your real name. 9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional. 8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard. 7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself. 6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra? 5. Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends. 4. Three words: No shotgun weddings. 3. All guys look like George Clooney and all women like Pamela Anderson. 2. They never have to know you live in your parents basement. 1. If you catch a virus, only your computer dies! Any questions? LMAO

Now remember guys pick-up lines are supposed to be smooth. They are supposed to work. They are even supposed to be good and even a little creative. Please, whatever you do, do not use these lines when trying to get a girl. Worst Pick-Up Lines 1. You ignite the fire in my loin chops. 2. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen……today. 3. I’d buy you a drink but the sign says “Don’t feed the animals”. 4. Great dress, ya know where it would look best? The dry cleaners. 5. Baby you’re making me hot….please turn off your blow torch. 6. Did it hurt when you fell? Because it looked real funny. 7. I’d love to see your sexy ass bent over in front of me….plunging my toilet. 8. You have an incredible chest, can it be used as a floatation device in case of a water landing? 9. Damn you’re hot as hell……are you from there? 10. I’d like to take you to the fanciest restaurant I know….and buy you a Whopper.

Always Be A Gentleman 1. When doing a “dine and dash”, always hold the bathroom window open for the lady. 2. Always let her cry on your shoulder…then send her the dry cleaning bill. 3. Let her drive your new sports car…and assume the crash position. 4. Send her flowers every so often…just don’t let her know you got them from the cemetery. 5. Take her on a romantic picnic...just remember to wash the living room drapes before hanging them back up. 6. Never let her know the new cologne she got you is being used as air freshener in the bathroom. 7. Do not tell her the hoop earrings she lost hold up the drapes great. 8. When she wears high heels never say “I know what you’re in the mood for”. 9. Never ask her if she left a pair of panties at your house. 10. And when she wears an article of clothing you got her…never say “Damn that’s staying on you longer then I planned”. Remember guys…always be a gentleman. Make sure you never do any of the 10 things I just mentioned. Not only will you have a better relationship with your girl. You will also live longer. I know I know, I’m warped, but ya gotta admit…..I am funny. LMAO

If my friends on here became porn stars and the films they would make. It takes a twisted mind like mine to think of these things. I hope I don’t offend anyone with these. If I do offend, please send me a cherry mail and I will send you my house address and you can come over and beat me in person. Ladies first please. D.A.M. Debbie Always Moans BuxsomBikerChickKimber Lives To Ride She’s Like the Wind The Wind Blows Rebel Clueless As Always Clothe Less Rebel SassyOne Sassy Gets Nassy TamaBama Wama Bama Tama SweetPickle1967 Sweet On 1,967 Pickles Catwoman69 Cat’s 69 Women Please don’t kill me. The odd part is………the titles are so innocent sounding. LOL

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and eventually give in. That you should never compare yourself to others....they're more screwed up then you think. We are responsible for what we do.....unless we're rich and famous. That 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house......your kids did it. If guys want to look appealing to women....dress as a Visa card That time heals all wounds....but tequila makes you forgot it alot quicker McDonald's does not like Schwin's going through their drive'thru. People will look at you funny if you walk up to the drive-thru ATM machine Old men wearing short shorts with no underwear on will cause small children to ask to see the baby bird he hiding.

These are a few things I've learned over my life. I am writing them down here because I think they might be helpful to others. 1. Never tell a hermaphrodite to go fuck them self.......they can. 2. Always watch your head when going to place your little one in the car seat. The kids head is usually higher then yours is. My poor son, I think he only cried because he realised we were related. 3. When getting high don't over do it. After 6 joints you don't get any higher, just lower in your stash. 4. If all the guys at the black tie affair have the same exact tuxedo on.....they all dressed correctly. If two gals have the same dress on at it.......IT'S WAR 5. If you are over 30...don't use the trampoline you bought the kids. There come an age when one should never try to put one's ass over their head and bounce. 6. Dogs don't like trampoline's 7. Never fart around a blind skunk, it just makes them horney. 8. Having sex doggy style does not mean humping your wife's leg. 9. Plastic wrap in never a good substitute for a condom. 10. Women never assume your husband knows what you mean.

Recently I have been playing counselor to my friends. It seems alot of my friends are having issues with dating. I am no expert in this area. On the other hand I AM an expert in this area. It is a paradox of life. We are all experts ,yet none of us are qaulified to speak. I have had some of the worst relationships on record. I have had relationships that when it ended..we went our seperate ways and stayed friends to this day. On the other hand I have had relationships end in a way that made the Nagasaki and Hiroshima bombs seem like a firecracker. One friend recently told me about how a date she went on. By the end of the night they ended up making love. After that point all the guy would talk about was sex. Ladies this is a clue that should let you know his true intentions. When all a guy talks about is sex , you know what the only thing he wants is. My other friend I am much closer to. I have know her for years now and am very proud to call her my best friend. The gentleman she got involved with had some deep issues with his past. She knew about his insecurities and was still willing to hang in there and help him with them. I have to give her alot of credit for that. Not too many people would do that. His issues came from the women he dated in the past that treated extremely poorly. He was made to feel worthless. My friend knowing this still tried to have a relationship with him. Unfortunately his ghosts from the past caused him to feel unworthy of being with her and he put a stop to the relationship. I feel bad for her. I wish there was a way it could have worked out for them. As for me, I have an incredible lady that I love dearly. There are times I think to myself how lucky I am to have her. There are other times that I think that she's too good for me. I did not win her heart by letting my past get the best of me. I did not win her love for me by only talking about sex. In fact I honestly and earnestly did my best to get to know her and be friends with her first. It was only after I got to know her and love her as a friend that I proceeded to pursure a romantic relationship with her. And trust me it wasn't easy. I had to prove myself over and over agsain to her. After a period of time......that seemed akin to forever, I finally wore her down. We are very happy together and love each other alot. I consider myself the luckiest guy on the planet. I have a great girl-friend, a great family and the two best friends a guy can have. I did not get these relationships by talking about sex all the time. I did not get them by letting my past run my life. I have made my mistakes in the past. I have learned from them. I do not regret them. They were merely learning experiences. So I say to anyone look for "signs" when looking into a romantic or other type of relationship. You will have to decide if the risk is too great or not. This can only be decided by what you know about yourself. I wish every one good luck in all your present and future relationships. I hope and prey that you all find happiness and love for the rest of your life. MJBlette