im out of orange juice.
this makes me displeased.
i wound up having a heated discussion about the law. ive happened to notice only potheads complain about the drug laws. sure it might be enjoyable. sure i used to indulge in it quite frequently. n yannow what? if i got caught with it? i wouldnt be bitchin about the harshness of the drug laws...i'd be suckin it up. cuz its illegal. opinions on whether it should or shouldnt be are moot. it is. dont want it to be? get glaucoma. move to amsterdam. those are your options. as well as do it anyway and risk it. your choice. the end.
somehow i last nite...i wound up in...conversational text-land. and i'd be lying if i said i didnt enjoy it. it wound up straying away from Monkey into actual conversation...which was quite surprising to me. almost reminiscent of friends or something along those lines. i wouldnt stretch it that far but it was more than civil..and due to that...ive decided to bend a little...which lets face it hasnt been my forte.
so i have some phone calls to make on monday to gather some information. *nod*
its chilly today.
its a nice reprieve from the 90 degrees and monumental amounts of sweating. blech.
somewhere along the line...since moving back here...ive noticed drastic changes...in myself. some for the better, some not. tho the ones that are not...im ok with. im ok with avoiding humanity. im ok with not going out. im ok with not dating. those things are the least important to me anyway. sometimes im ok...and sometimes im not. but knowing im not ok is the first step to becoming ok in the long run. its controllable, at least to a certain extent anyway. maybe just maybe i dont want to control it. maybe i just want to ride it and see where it takes me...it cant be any more detrimal than anything else...could it...hmmm just a random meandering there.
i think im going to do some studying today.
if that doesnt work i could always kill some Sims.
and theres always multitudes of cheesey television with which i can indulge.
whatever.
it would be...just so easy...to give up.
yet that would just make me a failure...
and the anal rententive side of me just wont allow that to happen..
guess its a good thing i have that side...keeps me afloat when it would be easier to drown.
and that is all.
