Friend of mine on myspace tends to post about topics in his blog and ask for feedback. Here were some of my thoughts on teenage pregnancy.
By the way, there are a few people on my friends list who are teenage mothers. I apologize if any of this bothers you. I'm not trying to be judgemental in any way. But I DO see it as a problem that teenagers have babies. My apologies if you are in any way upset by this blog.
Teenage pregnancy was not part of my life at all as a teenager. It didn't happen to me, my family, or my friends. I didn't know anyone who got pregnant. I did have friends who were having sex, but protection was a matter of course. Personally, I barely fooled around with guys in high school! I didn't have sex until I was 20 and was with someone I truly loved and cared for. Even then I was very careful about birth control. I have NEVER had unprotected sex, ever. I am on the pill, and I use condoms when not in a long-term monogamous relationship.
I think that teenage pregnancy is due to a number of factors. As with many things, there aren't any simple answers. I think that there's no doubt that the breakdown of the American family is a big part of the problem. Girls aren't taught to be strong, and to have healthy attitudes towards sex. They seek love where they shouldn't. And the teenage attitude towards sexuality these days just appalls me. I get 16-year olds hitting on me all the time! I'm 36 years old! Parents need to talk to their children of BOTH sexes. The emphasis on birth control should be repeated over and over again. Openness should be paramount between parents and children. And parents need to keep track of their kids. You don't have to be a control freak about it, but you should know where your kids are and what they're doing.
I also think that the increasingly conservative attitude towards sex, and the emphasis on teaching *only* abstinence in school is unrealistic. Kids will have sex. Accept it. Teach them about all of their options. The lessons at home need to be emphasized out in the world. Kids won't always listen to their parents. But they'll listen to ads on TV. Mentors talking about the issues. These lessons being taught in school. If everyone possible gangs up on them and shoves it into their hard heads, maybe it'll stick.
Not only that, but I think the more you clamp down on sexuality as "evil," while also bombarding kids with videos, games, etc. that show sexual images, the more kids are likely to have sex. Teenagers rebel -- they always have, and they always will. By trying to actively prevent your teens from having sex through heavy-handed tactics, you're more likely to push them into it than anything else. Best thing to do is teach them healthy attitudes towards sex and relationships to begin with, and teach them to always, always use birth control. Maintaining a supportive environment, where a girl can come to you and say "I'm thinking of having sex. Can I go on birth control?" is much healthier than the alternative.
Unfortunately, another contributing factor to teenage pregnancy is the whole "we're young and it won't happen to us" attitude that people in their teens tend to have. And, unfortunately, I don't see a remedy for that.
I don't really understand why kids don't "glove up" for STD reasons alone. I think people have become numb to AIDs. When I was in my early 20's, everyone was so afraid of it. Now it's almost ho-hum. It's like they don't really get that when you have unprotected sex, you're having sex with every single partner of every single partner you and your partner have ever had! If someone in that chain messes up, or doesn't care, a whole lot of people can get sick. And whether that ignorance is wholly "it can't happen to me," or lack of education and urgency on the issue of STDs, I don't know.
In about 20% of cases of teenage pregnancy, the girl deliberately gets pregnant because she wants to have a baby. I can't even comprehend this. I'm 36 years old. I have an established career, and I'm financially stable. I own my own home. And I sometimes feel very ill-equipped to care for a child. I can't imagine how a teenager could possibly understand the reality of caring for a child, and how much that will impact her own life. How it will limit her choices. Of course she will love that baby... babies are wonderful and joyous and should never be anything but loved and adored and cared for. And of course she won't REGRET the time she spends with that child. That said, I think most women who've been teenage mothers would vehemently counsel girls against having babies.
Anyone have any thoughts? Arguments?
