i love thi so much i would die for thi.... i would write i love thi in my owen blood 1,000 times. to show how much thi mean to me. but the voices in my head say to thy that to just give up cause thi is never going to come back fully.. cause thy keeps fucking up.. no matter how hard thy try to say thy feelings they come out all screwed up... so thy have gave up on saying how thy feel... thy will just deal with stuff on thy owen.. that way thi dont feel as if thy is taking it out on thi.....cause thy would rather kill thy self then take or hurt thi for any reason
as my soul dies so does my heart why should i keep going with this hole in my heart. they say once the soul starts dieing tthat there is no truning back. my soul was saved once by the love of a woman. but she is done now and there is nothing i can do to stop my soul from dieing. i dont know what to think anymore. the voices in my head are not making sence except the one telling me that im just a fuck up and to let my soul go cause there is nothing i can do to change the things that i have fucked up. and will never have the love i had from the one woman that loved with everything i had. so tried of a bleeding heart. my soul is just dieing from trying to fix the bleeding heart. and there is nothing i can do about it cause i have lost the love of my life forever. i gues ill just have to deal with having a dead soul and wait for the body to die. i just feel like i would be better off if i just faded away that way i can hurt or cause the one woman i love with al my heart and what is left of my soul. i had my angel in my life and all i did was poush her away. i even did what i thought was right and also put my feelings out on he table for them to get shoved aside. and it is was already for seen what would happen if i love my angel and there is no stoping my soul from dieing..
i sit and wait for u to make up ur mind and let me know how u feel about me and when u tell me.... i feel realy good but then after i spend time with u things change again not sure what to think anymore... all i know is what is in my heart is true love... i have been told if u love someone then the past dont matter and if u are in love with someone u will be with that person no matter what.. u will work things out with the person u are in love with and trust that person..... unless u are giving proof not to anymore.... but with the love i have i never will leave thi side no matter what has been done in the past i just look for the future... all i ever want is the truth no matter if it will make me dought cause if i get told i have been lied to i get upset cause i dont know what to belive all i ever want is the truth cause if u love someone u never lie to them about anything expectly if u say u love that person and want to work things out with that person
when ur in love with someone that shares that love. a heart will not bleed it just keeps on beating... but when the love is gone and things just fall apart a heart only knows one thing to do and that is stop beating and start bleeding out... and shrink when that happens the soul in the person that loves someone so much they would rather die just fades away and dies.. and there is only one thing that can stop that from happening but that will never happen... cause the one loosing the soul has fucked up one to many times and the person that the lost dieing soul is in love with deeply does not belive a word that comes out of the dieing souls mouth..
i was a lost soul wondering around in the dark trying to find my way. then you came into my life. and the darkness went away. i felt like i had found what i was searching for. but now your gone out of my life and im cank in the dark not even trying to find my way. i just sit and cry out your name with tears of blood running down my cheeks. hopeing one day that my angel comes back to me and the light and the joy i felt will be back again also
i long for the day that i can hold you in my arms again. to be able to run my fingures threw your lovely hair agin. i would love to be able to press my lips agaisnt your soft lovely lips again. i even would love to be able to kiss every ench of that lovely very sexy body of your again one day. but i guess all i can do is hold onto the memories of our time together and wish and hope that one day that you will come back to my arms and let me hold you and all again one day
as i walk the streets trying to find what im looking gfor i hear your voice in my head that is lovely voice teling me that ill find what im looking for and that you still have your love for me. then something brings me back around and i relize that it is just a voice in my head and wishful thinking. then my phone rings and it is you on the other end wiht that soothing lovely voice of you. i just long for the the day to hear those three speical words " I LOVE YOU" to come over the phone from your end again. i just hope one day to hear those words from you again. but when we get off the phone they never come out from you. and i start to think that i will never get the one think that meakes me the happiest in the world and that one thing is you!
the love for a woman can be a lovely thing. it also can b e a deadly thing as well. it is very lovely when that woman you love so dearly knows how you feel and shares the same love for you. but when u love a woman so much that you would do anything in your power for her but she dont have the same love for you. it makes you want to end it all to stop the pain of rejection.
As I sit here thinking.
imaiges of your face and smile flashes threw my mind.
I somtimes wonder what life would be like if things have went differently.
Then I look at what I have now and relize.
That I would never change or give up what I have now.
Promises
promises are just words to make someone feel better.
some promises are keep some sometimes and some are broken.
to me promises are just words put together.
promises that are broken can hurt some people very much.
to some people promises are words of honor.
But to me promises have no meaning anymore.
Looking back
I look back on my life and see what I have done wrong and what I done right.
Then the toughts of people that I have loved and the people that have loved me.
Then I relize that I have let so many people down also hurt so many people as well.
I find myself asking what is my purpose here in this world.
Wondering wolf
The wolf wonders the land looking for that special one.
now that the wolf has found her she is gone just as fast.
She was taken way from him even though she says she keft on her own.
Now the wolf wonders around lost in this big curel world.
The wolf's soul is still with atht special female wolf even though she dosent want him.
..I site here and think here are two souls conneceted in the dark
always hiding in the shadows trying to run from what is realy plain to everyone else also.
one day there will be light on the two soulz that are traped in the dark but instill that day comes those are just lost soulz.
and the whole world will know when the light shows the lost two soulz the way out of the dark cause also comes wtih them caos and mayham.
one of the lost soulz are full of firer and darkness, the other soul is full of life and happiness.
the only good that will come of the two lost soulz being free from darkness is the balance they will offer to others.
so I sit here thinking of the two lost soulz waiting to leave the darkness hopeing and praying that the day will come soon.
for it is then that this old man can put his mind to ease about his own life and get to living again.
for when that day comes this old man will have fire in his life again.
i sit here night after night with the thoughts and inamgies going threw out my mind and in my sleep i still hear your loving voice telling me just wait and things will be ok.but my heart and soul says theyy miss you so much that they cant keep going on all they want to do is serival up and die. cause without you my life is so empty and meaningless. soill just sit and wait for death to take his toll on me. seeing how ive cheated him out of getting me and when you was my lover death was to affarid to come close cause he knew i found my purpose in life. and that was to be with you and be happy.but now that your goine death is knocking at the the door to my soul again. and my soul has told death that he can take me soon. but my soul told death to go ahead and take him now. the soul just gave up on even trying. and the heart bleeds more and more each day. wiht out the angel that was there with her loving to heal it every time it would start to beak and to bleed. but now the saving angel is gone forever cause i cant control my miced up feelings. so now mr. death has tookoen my soul and will have my heart soon. and then the body will be the last to go. and when that day comes we dont want the angel to be upset or worry we are better off of being gone we will no longer hurt from pain or causeing pain to the angel we love more then anything in this life time............ so we welcome death
i will always love you no matter all the hell i go threw with you even after the day i die cause trying to prove my love to you has just pushed you away but also you have killed my soul and pushed me away evne though your being so fucking blind to what you have standing here in front of you in me .. all you know to do is run when things get rough. but that dont mean i dont love you cause i will always love you even beyound the graveand just hope one day that you will open you eyes and see that i will always love you and ill be waiting for you with open arms the day you get you head out of your ass and want to be with me cause i love you for ever and always will even though you killed my soul tonight on the phone i feel so cheep and used but that dont mean shit cause i will always love you wiht all my heart what is left of it one day you will get the help you need and see how much i love you and hopefuly ill still be alive to hold you say that every thing is ok but even if im not around just remember that i love you and always will even in the land of the dead
the mind can mess with how you feel about yourself. it can be realy bad when you love a woman so much that life itself dont matter. and now that your gone out of my life my soul is dead and the body isshutting down as well. it is just a matter of time before the body shuts down. you said you were todaly in love with meand my lite up. but now your gone my soul said goodbye to the world. i have closed myself off to the world.. that way i dont get hurt anymore cause im tried of hurting and yes this time you are to blame you took my heart and soul and just killed them botheveryonesays your only thinki9ng of yourself but that dont change the fact that ilove you i willl love you to the day idie and honestly i hope it is soon butthat dont mean that i wont carry my love for you forever cause i will be in love with you forever
My eyes look down at my heart
bleeding as it shall every ever be
it can all be traced back to the very start
when i said it could just be you and me
you and me couldn't stop hugging
i didn't see the sudden train coming
the lights blinded me
and i couldn't start running
It ran me down
and it ripped me apart
but don't think Ive left town
I'm still in there somewhere deep deep down
we said we would make it this time
when things got rough
i lost my mind for a bit and hurt you
more then i relized
now i have lost the love you said you had for me
so now im so empty inside
i just miss the love we shared with each other
everyone keep telling me
that we wouldnt make it but you said
yes we would
i belived it and i always thought you would be there
as my love but your not
so i walk around as a zombie heartles and souless
i lost my reason for living and that was your love
i sit here looking back towards where you lay at night with tears in my eyes i relize that i have destoried what we had. you tell me not to give up and be pateint. but there are times i wish i would just be able to tel you what is in my heart soul and on my mind but i try to and all i do is mess that up to where you get upset with me and say im pushing and all. cause i keep putting it in the wrong tone or wording is all wrong.. out of everyone i have ever been
i know what is in my heart but need to put the heart down. no sence of keeping the feeling out in the open when they can not be showed back or shared. i just cant keep going like this so as of now i have incased my heart in a prison of stone. with no opens for light or anything else to get into it.
i look into your eyes and i get all warm all over when i am with you nothing else around us matters to me. then as i drive away the warm feeling truns to coldness. your my whole. at one time i was yours. but now i m just there for a fimar face. it is like we never had loved at all
they all say im crazy for loving someone like you. some say your out of my league and some say that im not good enough for you. others say that your not good enough to be in my life. i had you in my life once. but i pushed you away you say im your deariest freind. with how i feel about you just makes hearing that harder then it was before i ever told you what i felt for you. they was right i am not good enough to ever be with you. so as i fade in to the darkness i bid fairwell to you . i will be around in the darkness watching over you waiting for the day you want me or you can love me back
as i fade into the darkness i whisper in your ear that i love you and always will. you look around and im not there. it hurts for me to not be next to you. it is the way it has to be i tell myself it is to protect you but it is to protect myself. it kills me to know the love is gone. after being told that the love was stronger then anything
i see your face every where i look . i see you in my dreams at night. as i trun the corner i see your face. i told you that i would always love you. but i wonder if i would ever be missed as a lover if i was to leave this world today.
i once walked in the light with you be myside. i was full of warmth and love with you by my side. we had a wonderful life together so i thought. then one day the darkness came in as you left i felt the coldness of the darkness cover my whole body. my heart and soul is still full of love for you. my life has fallen apart since the day you walked out of my life. as i look back i relize that my life now is what i deserve for what happened between me and you
i never knew what love was or felt like untill the day you had came into my life. you was the most inportant thing in my life. you stole my heart right away. i walked away as i watched you walk away with my heart. my body and life is so empty now that your gone. as i sleep i feel your touch and love. i awake to find that your not there. i find myself praying for the final sleep or the answers to get your love back. i still love you and always will cause you still carry my heart wiht you
i have made alot of mistakes in my life. there are alot of them i regreat as there are mistakes that i dont regreat. the bigest mistaek in my life i wish i could go back and fix is the day i let you go. been told that i made a mistake falling deeply in love with you. to me that wasnt a mistake at all. my other mistake was giving up on getting you bad. i said and di something that was a mistake that i wished i never did. there are times that i feel i should die cause of all the mistakes i have done that hurt the one i love. my ultimate mistake in my life was not fallowing my heart instead of listening to other people