I ask myself as i prepare to write.
What is going wrong in my life?
I try so hard, and recieve so little.
What is the answer to this riddle?
Sometimes i feel like all is well.
The suddenly, everything is not so swell.
Is your path written the day you came to earth?
Or does your choices start right at birth?
Too many questions, they always cloud my mind.
Life is never fair, and hardly ever kind.
Somedays i wish i would never awake.
Sometimes i wish, there was a way to escape.
Away from my probelms, away from the pain.
Into a world with sunshine and no rain.
Love is a plauge that scars my heart.
Makes me smile then rips me apart.
This world is cold, theres no doubt about that.
Its out to get me, a full fledged attacked.
One that peirces my soul, and cannot be healed.
It seems to me, that it never mattered how i feel.
I tried to give it my best, and then some.
But it bit me, so now i am on the run.
Running away, as far as i can.
A distant memory, blowing away like sand.
Time is working against me, my feelings lay way.
To the person i once was, that i am no longer today.
Pain will make ya change, and cause you to go crazy.
Love will make ya blind, your defenses all lazy.
But then in 3 or 4 words, you will wake from the trance.
With tears falling down your face, vowing never again to take a chance.
I really hate myself for loving, as much as i did.
I should of known better, who was i to kid?
Fairy tales are for books, and movies with happy endings.
Not for real life or me, i need to stop pretending.
I wish i had the power, to turn back the past.
I wish i could, have the future in my grasp.
But none of that is possiable, eaither is happiness.
I rather be alone and depressed, then filled with this sadness.
I seriously dont know what to do, or if i should even try.
I wish i could close my eyes, and just wait to die.
I want to be mad, and scream curses outloud.
But i will just sit here, acting too proud.
I thank god for my writings, that keep me somewhat sane.
I dont know what i would do if this became too much to tame.
Why does everything happen at once, causing my world to crash down.
I banked on one thing, and even that let me down.
Never again will they hear my voice, or call my name.
You may call but i wont answer, i aint mad just too much pain.
