Attendent:
Welcome to Clearview Cinema. Ticket please.
Scout:
What's a ticket and why are you talking to me. I didn't start a fire or nuthin...
Attendent:
Ummm... Smoking is prohibited and I need to see your ticket before you will be allowed to see the movie.
Scout:
Who said anything about smoke. Skippy says that fires are more fun when you can see them squirm. Oh and whats a movie?
Attendent:
You're here to see the show right? I'm guessing your not from around here. Does this Skippy have your ticket?
Scout:
Yeah, I think he keeps em inside his stuffing.
Attendent:
Stuffing? Umm security we have a problem here...
Scout:
Yeah, for a dead stuffed squirrel, Skippy has no fashion sense. His mother is worse though.
Attendent:
Why do I get all the nuts? His mother? The dead stuffed squirrel has a mother?
Scout:
Yeah, she is a bit whacked. Of course, she got ate by a troll and it sort of skewered her perception. Shh.. don't remind Skippy, the last time he was so upset he went to law school.
Manager:
Law School? Is there a problem here....
Scout:
Yeah, this guy made Skippy cry and run off with our tickets...
Attendent:
What? I didn't do anything. This crackpot was talking about burning down the place and seeing everybody burn.
Scout:
sniff... sniff...
Manager:
I'm sorry sir. Its his first day. I don't know what medication he is on, or should be on. The movie is on us.
Scout:
Don't let it happen again, or next time we will go to Mcgnomes for lunch. Now where do you keep your screwdrivers?
Manager:
SSSSScrewdrivers? Lunch? I'm a bit confused sir. This is a theatre.
Scout:
Then, I'll have a bucket of flies and make em snappy. Skippy's flies are all dying from the smell.
Manager:
Here take this ticket and go right down the street to AMC theatres. I'm sure you will find exactly what you need there, and feel free to smoke too.
Scout:
They sent me here.
