Gizmo's blog: "Trucking"

''GALAXY 66''

I HAD A BRAND NEW "GALAXY 66" STILL IN THE BOX HERE AWHILE BACK SO I WENT AND FOUND ME A "SWIFT DRIVER", TURNED THAT BOX UPSIDE DOWN, TOLD HIM IT WAS A "GALAXY 99", AND HE GAVE ME $450.00 FOR IT.

THAT SAME DRIVER CAME IN THE CB SHOP THE OTHER DAY AND SAID HE TRIED THE SAME THING WITH A "GALAXY 88" AND HE SAID HE TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN BUT IT DIDN'T DO NOTHING.

SO ANYWAY, STEVE AT THE CB SHOP WENT AHEAD AND SOLD HIM A "GALAXY 33".

HE WENT DOWN STAIRS AND HOOKED IT UP AND WE HEARD HIM AS HE WAS LEAVING TOWN, HE SAID "HOW ABOUT IT",

"ANYBODY GOT A COPY ON THIS BRAND NEW"

"GALAXY DOUBLE E"?

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"GUIDE LINE"

"ATTENTION ALL DRIVERS"

THE "YELLOW LINE" THAT RUNS ALOND THE MEDIAN IS A "GUIDE LINE" FOR THOSE "YELLOW MOTORS".

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A "YELLOW MOTOR" YOU NEED TO

"GET YOUR ASS IN THE RIGHT LANE AND STAY THERE"!

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"TWO YEAR PHYSICAL"

I WENT TO THE DOCTOR THE OTHER DAY AND GOT ME ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE "TWO YEAR PHYSICALS". THE DOCTOR CALLED ME TODAY AND SAID HE HAD SOME GOOD NEWS AND SOME BAD NEWS. I TOLD HIM TO GIVE ME THE GOOD NEWS FIRST.

HE SAID, "WELL THE GOOD NEWS IS",

"I HAD 24 HOURS TO LIVE".

HE SAID, "THE BAD NEWS WAS",

HE TRIED TO GET AHOLD OF ME "YESTERDAY"!

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"BINGO IN AFGANISTAN"

DO YOU KNOW HOW THE TALABAN ARE PLAYING "BINGO" OVER THERE IN AFGANISTAN NOW.

THEY ARE GOING,

"B-52"

"F-16"

AND WHEN THEY HOLLER BINGO THEY GO,

"STEALTH"!

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"ROLL OVER MINUTES"

WHEN YOU DRIVERS GO TO GET YOU A NEW "CELL PHONE" YOU NEED TO GO WITH "CINGULAR WIRELESS" WHICH IS NOW "AT&T".

THEY HAVE THESE NEW "ROLL OVER MINUTES".

THIS WAY IF YOUR DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD RUNNING YOUR MOUTH ON YOUR CELL PHONE, AND YOU "SCREW UP" AND

"ROLL YOUR TRUCK OVER"

"YOU DONT LOOSE THE SIGNAL".

IT'S THEM NEW

''ROLL OVER MINUTES"!

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"LOST SWIFT DRIVER"

  I was tring to help a "Swift Driver" one time that was on the "Radio" saying he was lost. He was tring to get into the Petro there Oklahoma City. I asked him where he was at?

He said he didnt know where he was at.

I told him well, it's going to be kinda hard for me to help you with "Directions" if you can't even tell me where you are at.

He said he was coming up to an intersection at that time to hold on just a secound. When he finally got up to the corner he said;

 " I'm at the corner of "

"Walk and Don't Walk".

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"RADIO FOR SALE"

Things have changed since I drove last.

I guess now days Drivers have one "Radio" they go "Forward" with and another "Radio" they go "Backwards" with.

I heard this Driver the other day on the "Radio" trying to sell his

"Back Up Radio".

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"ROOM FULL OF LOT LIZZARDS"

Do you know what you have when you have a whole room full of Lot Lizzards? 

"One Full Set Of Teeth".

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"LOT LIZZARD BY WENDYS"

  This Driver picked him up a "Lot Lizzard" on the street there in Oak City and drove over to the "Old Piolt" Truck Stop and parked his Truck over on the west side of Wendy's.

After they both got back in the sleeper the "Lot Lizzard" pulled out some of her own money and handed it to the Driver and said she wanted to

"Biggie Size It"

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"WENDYS CHILIE"

I WALKED INTO THE WENDYS AT THE "PILOT" ON THE WEST SIDE OF "PHOENIX" AWHILE BACK AND TOLD THEM I WANTED A BOWL OF THEIR "CHILIE"

BUT

I WANTED TO "BIGGIE SIZE IT" TO A

"TOE".

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"LOT LIZZARD MOUTHWASH"

Do you know what Lot Lizzards use for "Mouthwash"?

"Whore-Ah-Scope".

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"THE 10-2 POSITION"

I was trying to teach this young kid how to "Drive A Truck" one time and when I told him to put his hands at the

"10-2 POSITION"

He asked me

"AM" or "PM".

The boy needed a

"Check Up" from the "Neck Up".