Firestar Queen Goddessmember of the fuba's blog: "Poems of 2009"

                        Darkness of Lust        

 

Walking with no purpose.

Endless sidewalks that hold no reasoning to why or what I am searching for.

Nearer I feel to something that should be around the next corner is getting farther and farther from me.

Waiting for something to hit me and wake me up from the endless wandering around,

But

My feet keep on walking and walking like I am forever lost within the abyss of nothing.

How can this be?

When will it come full circle?

Entrance of shadows of haunting my insanity with voice that I can’t sake from my memories or heart and soul.

Why do I hear this haunting voice in the dark calling out my name?

When or when will I find this haunting call upon the winds of destiny?

A single touch.

A single glance is all I need.

One single kiss would set soaring into a reality.

Beneath this trembling flesh, I long to be alive, so can this haunting voice please, oh please show me some mercy and set me free to dare everything with it.

No light.

No substance I can touch.

No air to breathe.

Why is this darkness swirling around me like endless dance of nothing?

What is it keeping me from seeing or finding?

I hear you.

I feel you.

Damn I know this is something I must surrender too,

But

Its so damn far away from my reach or sight.

The hallow touch of coldness is floating around me.

The trickling of sorrow is weeping my longing lingering in the shadows for one single touch, one single kiss, why is this lost from reach?

Face of mine has no reflection within the shadows of darkness.

I am real

Or

I am dead wishing to be alive.

What is this strange sensation my body feels, what is this tingling with my heart, how can my soul be jumping like a wild dance within me?

I don’t get it.

I turn and turn.

Each time I walk, I feel something is lost to me that needs me to find it,

But

What is it?

I pause.

I fall back against the wall.

My hand reaches out.

I feel the need the raise and dare, my body jerks, as my hand reaches into the shadowy mist in front of me.

Warmth.

How can this be.

My fingers grabbing.

My hand needing to touch whatever is out my sight.

No longer will I be manipulated to feel lostness, I take deep breathe.

I hear you.

I know you are there.

Please oh god please, take my hand now.

Let me  live.

Touch me.

Kiss me

Caress me in ways to make soar from this darkness.

No more lostness.

No more wandering alone.

I know you are meant to be with me, as I am meant to be with you forever.

Heavy swirling of emotion.

Diving into this wicked and strong passionate feeling.

Hunger that was once just a endless need to wander about is now a ignited to raging purpose to reach out of the darkness into the warmth.

Expose is my heart and soul to overwhelming need to grasp upon the hand that has taketh hold upon mine.

The need inside is growing like wild fire.

Shadows that once illuminated around me screaming and pulling me back.

I whimper my pain, as the hand pulls me, as the shadows pull at my body.

I scream.

I grasp hard upon the hand.

Tears fall.

I reach with my other hand to grasp upon the hand holding my another hand.

Squeezing.

Praying.

Hoping.

The hand will hold and rescue me from this hellish hallow existence within the darkness.

Burning with desire.

Wanting to be free.

Aching.

I fall.

My eyes opens.

I see haunting green eyes looking at me.

He smiles.

I smile back.

Our lips consume each other’s lips like hungry beasts.

Now I am free.

Now I can breathe.

Now I can see what I was calling out to me, it was always you.

Now you are always loving me.

 

 

©2009 Firestar

Lust of the Undead We meet. Without a single word, we gaze into each other’s eyes with such lust. We were feeling each other heart beat. Your fingers brush my cheek in such a way that makes me quiver Your haunting touch was like liquid fire. Our lips meet. Our tongue dance with such wickedness and passion. Our bodies fell together like one. Pressing. Rubbing. Deep and lingering kisses. Your cock hardening. My sweet pussy becoming moist and throbbing. Melting into your haunting pull. A hunger ignites within me. My nipples are swelling. A soft whimper escape from my lips. Your hands furls my hunger more and more. Oh god…please don’t stop. Don’t stop till I cum. Tears fall like welcoming blessing to my earth awakening completion. My teeth tears at your clothing like sharp talons. You gasp in pleasure. Grabbing. Ripping. Biting and slamming our bodies like two stars colliding into each other. Dirty sex is flowing about us. I want you. You want me. You are cold and dark, with a haunting pull of death about you. Me, burning and breathing to belong to you. I bare my heart for your fangs to descend upon. Take me into your darkness. Give me what I can no longer walk away from. Fill me with your dark reality. Fuck me till I can no longer breathe. Let your dangerous passion boiling me over. Your lips of crimson death brush across my beautiful breasts. Your hand wraps around my back. My soul is dancing. My heart is waiting. My scream out, “Do I” Your fangs runs across my breast. Licking. Sucking. Oh god, I am ready to cum for you. Touch me there again with your fingers. My mind is swirling within your dark desire. Give me all your lust of the undead. I lean my head back. Your nibble. Your tongue swipe my neck like brief summer breeze flowing over my body. My delicate petals spread apart. I gasp. Your hardened cock slip into my wet and hot pussy. I stare up into the dark sky of death. I moan a soft cry, as your fangs descends upon my breasts. Intense is your bite. Erasing my life from life into the darkness. My heart shatters. My body trembles no more. I slip away from life. Now I walk along side him within the darkness, waiting and listening to howling blood that calls out to us come feed upon. Always together as one. Always mating like two savage animals finally free from worrying over life daily troubles. ©2009 Firestar

                        Can This Be Love

 

Flames are ignite within me.

Desire is now screaming out your name.

My body is trembling and aching for your touch.

Can this be love?

Does dream come true?

Your eyes, your smile, even you haunting words stir me into believing this is love.

 

Waiting for you to caress this body of mine.

Hoping one day your lips will brush across mine.

I am here lingering in abyss of words that I hope one day you will say to me.

Can  this be love?

Why must I fall for you?

Your words, your haunting look has touch me in ways, I never thought would happen to me.

 

The soft glow of the moon and stars make tingle to something I have never dare to belong too.

Connected like two souls colliding into one.

My hands are trembling with need to explore your body of sin.

Can this be love?

Do you feel the same as I do?

My eyes, heart and soul, even my mind is turning about within the swirling tide of wicked lust for you.

 

My tongue longs to dance about your body.

These fingers are ready to show you all the places they wanted to touch with endless desire to ignite your fire of passion.

Swept away within the need to reach out to you for all the hidden loving you can give to me.

Can this be love?

Oh god, there you are, here I am with millions of miles between us.

 

My heart is burning.

My soul passion is raging out of control.

Here comes my lust fueling my hunger for you.

Can this be love?

If its not, god help me to walk away before its too late.

Bewitch by you.

 

Falling.

Weeping.

Here my scream upon the trembling wind of endless passion for you.

Can this be love?

Will you reach out to me?

All I have within my wicked dreams is you, all I have within my beating heart is you, all I have within my soul desire is love for you.

 

So please, oh please tell me the truth.

Touch me with passion.

Kiss my lips with reality of your love for me.

Can this be love?

Show me.

Teach me all there is to make you complete like you complete me now without you here next to me.

 

Release me.

Ground me.

Awake my hidden desire and passion.

Can this be love?

Will you show me, will you reach out to me, will you..oh god, will you ever be more than just a mere dream to me?

Love now and forever, so we can finally be free to soar, until than, always know I am here always waiting for you.

 

©2009 Firestar

 

 

 

                        Hardcore Love

 

A door opens.

One heart dances wildly within wicked desire, while the other is unsure what is about to happen.

Here begins the Hardcore Love.

Will you enter or run?

Should I just slam you with all my hidden passion before you can turn around and run away?

Will you hate me?

Will you tremble with fear of what is flashing within my eyes for you?

Can I bring you into my Hardcore Love without fearing you will not return the love back onto me?

Will my eager touch make you soul ignite to my Hardcore Love?

Slamming your body of delight against the wall like a escape prisoner being handle by a guard.

Will your screams be of pain or delight in what I am willing to force upon your trembling body of desire?

I long for your scream, so my heart and soul can sprout wings of wickedness and sinful acts that will bring us into the sweetness of dark passion.

Damn it…

Are you running now,

Or

Are you offering me what I want and need from you.

Hardcore love.

I want to possess your mind with wicked dreams of tortuous passion, yet ignite your heart and soul in love with such a depth its almost death dance with you tonight in dangerous desire to soar complete as one.

My hunger is roaring, do you hear it?

Heavy is my breathing upon your shivering flesh of fear.

I have come and bring upon this night of Hardcore Love all I can offer you to make you believe love is true and will always belong only to you.

Grabbing at your hair like a master forcing her sex slave into obedience to surrender to my Hardcore Love.

Nails scratching across your body like a bird of prey devouring you.

Hard kisses upon your whimpering lips of mercy to smother out your fear.

Manipulating your body to melt into my Hardcore Love passion.

Biting at your flesh like starving vampire upon your body.

Ripping off your shirt and tossing your about the room like a rag doll being beating with tortuous malice of dark endless passion leaving no room for error how much I need and want you.

Slapping you over and over, walking away, then turning around and throwing body into yours, sending your body back hard against the wall again.

Laughing and screaming for you to take me now, but offering you no hope when I push you away.

Do you want more of my Hardcore Love?

I know have plenty to give you.

So darling come on delight my wicked and savage thrill by trying to take me down and claiming my prize forever as yours.

Do you think you can?

On here comes my Hardcore love upon you.

Pushing down upon the floor, taking your belt into my hands like whip and hitting you over and over again, as I cry out my depth of need for you to tame my wild and wicked side.

Biting your expose nipple like candy to be eaten by my endless Hardcore Love appetite.

Are you bleeding now?

Do you wish to run away?

Is that flashing in your haunting green eyes asking me to give you more?

Licking you like ice cream cone.

Sucking upon your cock like a ice cube within a drink.

Listening and longing for your pleas of mercy, but I only hear your panting and moaning to something dark flowing through your blood.

Could it be…

No way.

Oh god yes…it is, you are willing and ready for more of my Hardcore Love to trace and ignite your hidden dark desire into reality.

Hardcore love, oh yes, baby, here comes my Hardcore love upon your body.

Teeth nibble.

Hands clasp into your holding down like a unwilling prey.

Desire twirling about like a Texas two-step whirlwind carrying us away into the abyss of endless pleasure to all my Hardcore Love breathing upon you.

Bodies toss and tumbling upon the bed.

Bodies fall with a haunting thump sound.

Legs and mouths entwine like fighting mad dogs full of endless rage.

Moans and scream that tell us, we are almost there.

Heat like fire burning the cool air like hell fire.

Sweat bursting and falling for our bodies.

Hands grasping and clawing at each other naked bodies like wild lions fighting over food.

Hardcore love is ours now and forever.

Our juices are now flowing like waters in might seas.

Fingers running and explore in places that makes us trembling with a endless thrill of something wicked finally making us complete.

Hot.

Needful looks and touches.

Hungry for tongues dancing like two snakes curling upon to mating ball.

Lustful stares.

The banging within the room is  ringing out as if warning sounds of approaching danger.

Pumping.

Thumping.

Our bodies rocking.

Penetration that send us screaming.

Fast and hard.

Long and deep.

Hardcore is finally driving us pass the point of no return.

Everything swirling out of control.

Breathing is hard.

Breathing is fast and steady like dreams no longer dream but reality.

Oh god…oh god…Yes…Yes.

Rushing feeling flowing over us.

Pounding wildly.

Slamming deep and hard.

Thrusting.

Tightening of my walls of lust around your powerful cock.

Shivers running up and down our spine.

Now…

Now..

Oh god…Yes.

We both fall into the pit of endless orgasms.

It has come to end.

Our Hardcore love has take us to the place, we wanted to be.

Soaring like free souls returning back home within heaven’s paradise.

I smile.

You smile.

We turn to face each other.

Our lips come together.

You says, “Now its my turn to give you some of my Hardcore Love.”

 

 

©2009 Firestar

                        Pure Insanity

 

I see you…

                  Walking by me on upon the streets of endless heartbreak.

Now my desire are rushing within my heart and soul like wild fire.

This is…

              Pure Insanity

Me wanting you so fast to be all mine.

 

I hear you…

                    Saying things within the gentle wind that is now brushing by my essence.

All your haunting dreams are speaking to me as if we were meant to be together.

How can I hear your hidden desire like they were mine?

This is…

              Pure Insanity

Me wishing for your love to surrender to me.

 

I watch you…

                        Your body swaying with a message that tell me, I must dare all with you.

Your body is calling to mine, in such way, I am willing to just fall into your arms forever.

Heaven help me, heaven help you, I’m lost into your haunting pull of love.

What has come over me?

This is…

              Pure Insanity

Me believing you feel the same way as I do.

 

I am waiting…

                        Not sure how long must I wait, but if I need to, I will wait forever for you.

Here I be lost within your life roller coaster ride of endless torture.

Damn if I do or don’t reach out to you.

What will you do now that I belong forever to you?

This is…

              Pure Insanity

Me loving you so completely without you ever kissing or within my reach to know what is it like to be love by you.

 

I stare…

             Into your sultry green eyes, now you have my world exploding within a false reality.

Silently, I know you will never love me back in the same way, but I must still be here for you, when you finally do come around to see me always here with a endless love only for you, I will always be what you need in your life, as the cruel world comes crashing upon you.

This is…

              Pure Insanity

Me being controlled by a passion like a puppet from your heart strings that have I no control over.

 

I reach out…

                        Air and space fill my arms like endless sorrow and pain.

You are not with me, I am not with you, but this love I have for you feels more real than life to me.

Tears begin to fall from my heavenly eyes.

This is…

              Pure Insanity

Me raging within emotion because I can’t have your love as mine.

 

A hunger begins.

My body is aching for you.

My mind is screaming at me because my patience is gone.

This is…

              Pure Insanity

I snapped, now I am locked behind these bars, because you drove me into complete madness.

 

Pure Insanity was what your haunting entity did to me.

 

 

©2009 Firestar

                        Night Time Dreams

 

I lay down upon a emptied bed.

Why did I say what I said that sent you away from my life?

Here I go…

Another day passing by me.

Another night here without you.

Memories of you, I fight off.

I welcome my Night Time Dreams of us.

I will not call you.

When our friends ask about you, I will not break down and cry over you.

I will hold my ground.

Here I go…

Another day, I wake up wishing you were here with me.

What will another night bring upon me when I return home.

Reality you are still lost to my touch and life.

I welcome my Night Time dreams of making love to you.

My body trembles as I walk about the house of emptiness because I pushed you away from my life.

I hate myself for this endless pain, I can’t find a way out of.

My heart is shatter.

My soul passion fire is now gone cold.

Here I go…

Another damn night here without you to hold me.

I just not sure what to do to make this right again.

I welcome my Night Time dreams of endless pain and tears.

I move about life like walking dead.

I have nothing life to live or breathe for.

How did I let this fall apart?

Why couldn’t I just admit, you were everything I wanted and need in life?

Here I am…

Another day.

Another sleepless night, because I long to touch you and kiss your lips thousand times, but I can’t reach out to you.

I welcome my Night Time Dream of hope and faith.

Ticking of the clock is warning me.

My mind is lost.

My body is weak.

I face another day without you.

I know tonight when I come home, you will not be here, so I just do what I must to live on within life no purpose or your love that was always there for me, when everything was going wrong in my life.

I welcome my Night Time Dreams, but.

I walk into my home.

I smell your cologne like a haunting dream invading my mind.

Can it be?

I roam about my house.

Hoping and praying.

I run down the hallway, I fling the door open, but you are not there.

I welcome another day, another night, as I turn around.

You are standing there welcome my Night Time Dreams back into my lost reality.

I run to you.

You hold me, my tears fall.

You say, “Did you really think I would let you go, when I knew all long you love me so completely and endless.”

No longer I am dreaming of about Night Time dreams of us.

Now…

Oh thank god, now I have you making them all come true once again.

I no longer have to welcome another day or another night alone or within Night Time Dreams.

 

©2009 Firestar

Haunting Love Desire within a single tear drop Escape from my lost passion. Here I am, But Forever lost to desire for love. How my heart and soul is cold like the distant star soaring about the endless heaven? My body is a temple from heavenly divine for any man to worship like his personal Goddess, But I can’t belong to his wicked and sinful desire. I don’t belong to Hell or Heaven, Yet I am just drifting by life like a haunting wind of what can never be within his reach or mine. My lips lingering sweetly upon his lips, But I can’t taste his desire, because I am not part of life realities. I once welcome life, But Only found death welcoming me forever as its, life mate. How his haunting eyes calls out to me, But I can’t ever be with him. Time is ticking away, Here I am a haunting illusion within a endless enigma upon love that can’t savor his taste or touch as something I once held within my trembling arms. Here within love’s darkness of death, I will always be his girl forever. Always willing to chase the death demons away from his life. Never will he know how I keep him safe from death. A love, I hold within my lost reality that keeps him breathing in life, how I weep each time he takes a woman into his arms, his bed and whisper how he soar each time he makes love to her. Tears may fall like raging rain storm, But I will always shelter him from my own rage, Because without him, I will be lost forever within the light and darkness that tempts me upon each moment to surrender all my hope from love embracing my cold heart and soul with reality. A love I hold for him will always burn cold with desire to touch and burn his flesh like another always does. My tears are shallow and hallow within my reality and his. He does not see, feel or hear my pain and sorrow that it is not his, Who is thinking about, dreaming about or making love too, I find myself wondering about his hidden thoughts all the time, as I watch over him. Kisses from me becomes the gentle breeze upon life wishing he could kiss me back. How I wish he could just turn around see me standing behind him, looking at him, and longing for his kiss and touch upon this cold dead body of love? I watch him dream about his one true love be within his reach, but I will never be. How can he love another, When I am here loving him completely and forever? Does he feel my desire within his heart as I moved about his life? What can I do? What can I say to him to make him reach out to me? Here I am, Here loving him more than any another woman could ever love him, But I turn to see… A door opening up. He turns to face her. Here I am screaming… NO!! As he takes her into his arms, as his lips covers hers, as his hands roam about her body. Here I am falling apart with emotion of sorrow of him loving her, when he should be loving me. I tremble with pain, I flutter like death wings away from his haunting passion with her, I weep my pain, But I pause. He walks out into the night, he kisses his hand and blow a kiss, he says, “I know you are here with me, I know you are always loving me and watching over me. Know this my haunting my love, one day, I will be with you, until than….I will never be complete with any other woman, but you.” I smile. Here I am fearing the worst, But He reach out to me with hope and endless promise he and I will one day be together. Now I have faith in my dreams and love for him. I am no longer fearing this darkness surround me, because I know, I will one day hold him with my trembling arms, as he makes love me to forever. ©2009 Firestar For my sweet Theo Theodoridis, who I miss every day while he lost from my life.

Facing Myself Reflecting upon me is like prying my teeth out of cement. I need to learn 2 face my desire to conquer my fears. How can I when I can’t even face you? My will is strong like my belief in God, But I lose it all when I think of you. Trouble is brewing within the depth of my soul. My heart is flutter like flaming wings. Reflecting upon me is like a drifting car spinning over the cliff of love. Where is the science to keep me from falling in love? How can deal with my emotion for you when my emotion is twisted in knots? My heart and soul is chained to your haunting look of love that is not there for me. Paparazzi are blinding me with their entire picture taking of my weeping sorrow. My tears flow like the rainstorm upon me. I am lost in my dark dilemma of loving you. How can I face myself, when I can face my wicked thoughts of you? Reflecting in the dark mirror of shadow, I see you once again. How can everything lead me back to you? I flip a page. I talk to someone. Everything comes to full circle to my hardship of trying to get over you. What I see is not what I like. I scream for escape, But I come to know, I am not facing you, so I can not face myself, until I do. Reflecting within depth of my heart and soul, I find there is no light shining there. My hands tremble like branches of lost time upon a Weeping Willow tree. My love is painted upon blank canvas like oil that will never fade away from your essence. The haunting whisper surrounding me is screaming out your name over and over again. Their haunting words of my love for you begin to rape my confused mind. I seek salvation in darkness, But I only find your arms pulling back into your essence. Reflecting of me has now begun my endless nightmare of you. Once I asked can I dream wicked thoughts of you. Now it has become your deadly hold upon me. I weep my sorrow. I moan out your name. I reach out into the cold and dark mist of shame. Your hand is not there. Nor are any words of love for me being spoken by you. Reflecting…. Not any more. I turn my back on my feelings and twisted emotion for you. No longer are my hands reaching out to you. My heart and soul is closed off. I only require the darkness to kiss me with its fatal kiss. I ask to be set free. Facing my-self would mean…. No longer would I be denying my feelings or twisted emotion for you, if I faced you. Why must I reflect? When there is no logical reasoning in me loving you. Should you be the one facing yourself in the way you treat me with your silence? I guess I should have seen it coming. I should have known you were not real enough to be true as I am. My heart and soul was open to you. I offer you too much of me, even without telling you I was giving you all me. Now here I am fighting myself because I must face myself over loving you. Here I am reflecting and losing all control over myself. My aching heart wants to move away from loving you. My soul weeps my pain and sorrow in silence. My body trembles with need of your touch. Do you care about my hidden dreams of us sharing things? Facing myself and wishing I had the strength to face you. I am sorry I don’t have the courage to trust and place faith in myself to where we can meet. Why I am beating myself over facing myself because you don’t love me in the same way I love you? Reflecting once again I am upon my selfish desires for you. Longing and denying myself the emotion and depth I feel for you. Tossing and turning like demon upon a roast rod over a slow burning fire of torture. How did I get here? I feel in love with a dream man. I woke believing he was more than just a dream. My tongue slides across my lips that thirsty of you taste upon them. My heart and soul has become a bloodsport over you. Reflecting…. Reflecting….. How I wish I could be free of my love for you? Depth of soul knows you are the chosen one to love. My weeping heart is damn forever because of you. Shall my tears always fall upon me like a rain? Hellfire is raging within me like horrific shadow upon my essence. Reflecting once again, I am. Refusing too see the truth for my rosey blinders. Hating myself because of what I can’t do. Facing myself… Hell no. I run away into the darkness from myself and you. I no longer have the strength to fight myself. Hell, I back at reflecting on my-self again, reflecting on you and facing the reality I love you. ©2009 Firestar

Benefits of Your Love I want to hold you always close to my heart. I give my heart the chance to breathe you in. I want to offer my soul depth to you only. I give my unleashed passion forever to you. No longer will love be just a distant dream for us. Benefits of trusting are setting me free. Your look of wickedness stirs my in ways I never thought I could feel. Your haunting words of endless desire ignite me to dare life with you. How you make my world complete? Do you know what you mean to me? You are more than just a friend with benefits. What I have within me is an exclusive offer only to you. Belief in life and love has become the lost artifact now brought into the light because of you. You lead me like a thirsty vampire into a place where I saw the freedom of soaring in my wicked desire for you. Your heart and soul gave me an endless desire of always reaching out to you. Benefits of your love can me the spirit to be all I needed to be. Your hand guides me. Your arms held me tight when I was weak and tremble in fear. You are more than just a friend with benefits. Love illustrates magically forces of within you and me. I am thankful for you. No longer do I fear love or you. ©2009 Firestar