Ya lately I have been a bitch towards people. People have been woundering why I have been a bitch or whats going on. I don't know what to do with my life no more. I want to move on right now but I have my little sister to take care of until she is at least 17 years old. Im afraid to move on. As of the 26th I wont be seeing or talking to anyone for awhile. I dont want that to happen but its going to happen. There is alot of things that are going through my head right now. Ya this morning around 4am I did something stupid but hey its alright I guess. I feel like I lost all my friends. I had a great day at work last night an then I come home an find out from a friend that my ex's gf is bitching at him cause she thinks I have his number, first off I dont and dont want the number, Ya I love him to death an dont want to give up but I gotta. We fight to much. I do hope that the next time we see eachother he is married to the bitch that is controling him. Ya I know your going to read this but nothing else I can do. I feel sorry for you cause your on a leash. She says who you can talk to an who you cant talk to, but yet she can go ahead a talk to who she wants an fuck who she wants when she wants. I enjoy talking to him everyday ever since the day I met him on July 29th 4 years an 9 months ago. There is alot of things that he don't know an ya I feel bad for not telling him there are some lies that I don't think I'll ever tell him. I know he will had me after he reads this but I guess its for the best. Hmmm what else is going on here.... After tonight I have planned on lossing weight, so I look better an feel better about my self, I look ugly an am fat. Alot more is going through my head its not even funny. I really dont know how to explain it anymore. Right now with everything going through my head I just feel that I dont deserve to be in this world no more I feel useless. Wait I am useless. Im just a stupid bitch that dont know how to leave people alone or move on with my life. I guess after I move it will happen but it will be hard trust me it will be hard. Well im off to bed to cry my self to sleep. G'night
