Today was just one of those REALLY BAD days! Woke up an all was good then went to work at 2pm an left work at 6pm cause my grandma (my moms mom) had surgery at 8pm tonight. She has Lung Cancer on one of her lungs. I was told she was going to have either half or the whole lung removed. I made it to the hospital 5 mins before she was brought down to surgery. She went down at 6:45pm. But before she was brought down an of course 5 mins before hand when i showed up I told her I loved her no matter what and I know she will make it through the surgery. She said I love you too an held on me tight an then tears ran down her face. I so wanted to cry but I held it in an still holding it in. Ill more likely cry my self to sleep. But the nurse called my mother an told her that they just opened her up an it looks like its gonna be more then 6 hours an to go do something an they will contact us every 30 mins to an hour to let us know the update that was at 9:05pm at 9:50pm they called us while we where at Butches pizza and here it was the dr. Telling us that he opened her up an explore to see how much he has to remove. Coming to find out that it spreaded futher then the lung, she also was not a good canidate for removing the whole lung so they had to stich her back up. She is now in ICU til tomorrow so far. She has tubes on her side going to her lung to make sure there is no blood clots an a breathing tube that is now breathing for her cause she is on alot of sadation meds. Tomorrow they are sending a lung dr in to see if they can do redeation or what they can do. But I have this feeling they cant do nothing or she just gonna say I dont want anything else done. Since my Grandfather passed away (my grandmas husband) 7 years ago she has wanted to be with him. For the last year in a half she has wanted to be with him more an more. Like I told my bf a couple of friends she has been suffering so much for the last 4 months now ever since she found out she had lung cancer an its just getting worse everyday of her life. (My bf, little sister an my close friends are the only ones that are keeping me happy right now!) I just wish god would take her since she is in so much pain. Her life would be better with my Grandfather, her father and my father. This life she has right now there is nothing left for her. I dont like seeing people suffering from cancer or other problems they are dieing from. Well she is in ICU right now an ill find out more tomorrow on whats going on. Im just sick of seeing the ones I love getting cancer an then finding out no one can do nothing when they find the crap at the last min. I lose one of my grandfathers 7 years ago an then another grandfather almost 2 years ago an then my dad an now im lossing my only grandmother i know! (I didnt know my dads mother cause she passed away when my dad was 13 of giving birth to my Uncle.. WTF!!!!!... I just wanna beat on someone for all the crap. Can life be easy an we can spend the rest of our lives with our close love ones?? GOD Y???... Well I'm gonna go try to get some sleep.
