Well, I'm going to whine now. Just wanted to warn you so you can skip the rest of this if you like. :)
I have a tendency to get attached to people very easily. Yes, even online. We talk awhile, and I start to care. But because other people rarely get attached as quickly as I do, I can get really hurt when people disappear on me, start to ignore me, etc.
Or, I'll get into a stupid argument with someone, and really take it to heart, when the other person just shrugs it off.
Yesterday I had a self-intervention when I came to the conclusion that one of my friendships was in heavy need of that guy from "He just isn't that into you!" We're just friends, but I think he meant a lot more to me than I did to him. I had to work very hard to keep in touch with him. Our conversations would go like this: I'd say a bunch of stuff, and 10-40 minutes later he'd answer with a couple things, and then I'd ramble for awhile, and the cycle would repeat.
I put up with it because when we did talk, we had so much fun together. I mean, we have that vibe you get when you really synch with someone. When you have the same senses of humor, play off each other well, and can really talk about deep stuff.
But, still, he didn't seem to realize how rare that was. Or how rare it is to find someone who'll put up with his shit the way I did. And, it hurt me to do it. And, I'm worth better than that. I don't deserve to be taken for granted.
He's not the first, and he probably won't be the last. Usually I put a lot more effort into my relationships than other people do. I set very high expectations for myself, and others rarely live up to them the way I wish they would.
That's one reason why I go on giant "delete friends" sprees on here. I try to be a really good LC friend. I chat with people, always answer my messages and shouts. Always read people's blogs, comment their photos, etc. Because I'm genuinely interested in people. And a lot of you, my wonderful friends, are equally as assiduous.
But there are people with whom I work very hard to maintain relationships, who simply, in the long run, don't work nearly as hard to be a good friend. And, in the end, I get tired of being the one taken for granted. I do eventually give up. Even positive, optimistic people with counselling personalities like me do eventually get tired. And if you're one of those people (though if you are, how likely is it that you're reading my blog to begin with), I hope that, if I do give up on you, it'll bother you at least a little bit, because it hurts me deep inside every time I do give up on someone. I do it to protect myself... something even *I* eventually do have to do.
