WT F am I doing here, shit he has told you that he doesn't care about you, its "friends" that you are
he told you this yes AFTER the fact.....
I asked him if he cared he said he thinks it was just lust nothing more.... but he wants to be friends and continue to build our friendship.....
excuse me but maybe I am slow but i don't think friends fuck there brains out, do they?
I should have known though by the way i was being treated, (with disregard) unless alone and naked and even then it was more along the lines of well .......................................................................
like his toy to be played with and discarded when done......
I thought I saw something in him and maybe I did but I don't think he is willing to let ME see it....
he wants me to call if I need to talk well isn't that a two way street, to know ones secrets do you not need to divulge some of yourself?
With all that is in my life, I assure you THIS is not something I needed in the least, I just needed to feel loved if only for a brief moment in time...to feel safe.....away from all the sorrows in my life here....... to have the excitement involved in starting a new romance.......
To be with a person that you are willing to give everything to them sexually, and to not have that returned I am not use to i assure you on that.....It was always kiss, eat a little, then fuck, after HE would cum.......up and gone in the shower, which I must say kinda made me feel dirty like he thought of me as a paid piece of ass that might have something!!!!! when asked he just said its just how I am ok but why? no explanation came!
When I would get upset, (which I tried to hide) he would get irritated at me and ask something to the effect of why are you mad now or what did I do this time? If I have to tell you then its not important now is it!!!!!
Do I still care for him, shit yea, do i feel stupid for these feelings, gaaaah how could I not.... It was meant to be a fuck session...... nothing more.....but I am not built like that....I don't just let people in my pants....... why
well first off two damn many diseases in the world... second off I HATE not getting mine......did I cum well if you know woman in the least you know that there are different levels of cuming for us...... I got to level two.... and hell I have 6 levels that I know of......small clit cum and a small squirt...... which was good and I loved being with him but to have allowed myself to let him in when I should not have damn i shouldn't have ever entertained even admitting my want for him...... Because now I am faced with seeing him again and not knowing how I will indeed be able to handle it..........
He will never feel for me as I do for him and I know this cause well it was lust........and friendship nothing more so with that I guess I have to be ok with that or break it off completely because he isn't willing to give anymore that he has already (which isn't much mind you) sooooooo
If anyone has any incite on this let me know
did I get used in this situation?
or was I the one that fooled myself?
I think he is a good guy, or at least I hope and pray he is!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kisses all mel
