Hunybear29's blog: "Frustration"

i have a burning question. well let me start at the begining ok. 

i have been seeing my very first boyfriend since jan 4 19 he waved at me on fb and well i have been waiting for years for just that one little small opeining to talk to him.

i was 11 he was 12 it was 1987 oct and well i thought he was the prettiest thing id ever seen. I asked him to the football game where by the end of the night i planned on being in a hot lip lock with him. sure enough by the end of the night i had impressed so much on this boy he thought about me for 31 years. but that is not where things end as kids. 

 

long story short we broke up not bc we wanted to but bc of manipulation tacktics by my sister. anyway fastforward 5 years. i see him riding around in town in his truck and i have a thing for him and trucks so i hope in and get him to take me to my house where i proceeded to throw myself at him and where he proceeded to reject me. at the time i had no idea why now after talking to him more i know it wasn't because he didn't want me it was because he hadn't showered{silly} but he left me standing in the moonlight at 16 with nothing on but a royal blue thong. i was crushed, it really played a large roll in my self esteem for a long time first rejection and all lol.   

so again fast forward another  years and he waves at me and of course i immediatly hit him back we have been talking daily and i went to see him a few times we click so good in and out of bed i just feel bad because he is married with kids so not sure how i feel about it what do you guys think 

the moment i laid eyes on him i fell all over again he is what i have always based my men on what i like htat is lol he is a big man now and i'm actaully ok with it he turns me on so much. i just wish he wastn't married!

i have been dating a guy that is 14 years younger than I am. I have to tell you i have never been so hungry for true affection in my whole life. don't get me wrong he is fucking a god in the bedroom but everything else is meet with a 26 year old mind! he is so full of ankist i can  not deal anymore. I broke it off with him again lets see if i can actually convice him to leave move out leave me alone for a while let me greieve.

 

you know i thought that my last relationship was my prince charming who turned out to be mr. toad!bc of him i foucking don't trrust anymore not them not me. how do i get past all the hurt that i have felt in the last 5 years i thought being raped was bad but it has nothing on being thrown away by someone you have given your soul too. i Don't know if anyone else has been done this way but i have and i think it sucks to have the man throw me away. 

Hope you enjoy Up To The Mountain (MLK Song)" I went up to the mountain Because you asked me to Up over the clouds To where the sky was blue I could see all around me Everywhere I could see all around me Everywhere Sometimes I feel like I've never been nothing but tired And I'll be walking Till the day I expire Sometimes I lay down No more can I do But then I go on again Because you ask me to Some days I look down Afraid I will fall And though the sun shines I see nothing at all Then I hear your sweet voice, oh Oh, come and then go, come and then go Telling me softly You love me so The peaceful valley Just over the mountain The peaceful valley Few come to know I may never get there Ever in this lifetime But sooner or later It's there I will go Sooner or later It's there I will go mel

I am back did you miss me :) ok quick and the dirty on me for real I WAS active Air Force for almost 7 years now I opted to get out with the whole force shapping thing, I lost my grandfather (which I loved very much) from there I had a nervious break down was rapped apparently in the process by my airman, my friends or so called friends bailled on me for real! I tried to commit suicide (apparently it didn't work ) hahhahah I don't remember alot of the events due to being plastered on barbituates and the suicide attempt caused some memory problems long and short but I am getting along now it would seem, I am currently on terminal leave and will soon be a civilian once again wha hoo I am sad a bit because I did so love serving my country but I am afraid I just can't deal with the stress of it anymore, I accomplished making sargent sooo I am pleased with that out of the whole thing all in all I am thankful for the experience I hate that I was hurt but it just made me so much stronger. my husband has been awsome through it all even the brief stay at the crazy house LOL but anywho that is the low down of whats up with me! It has taken me months to get to the point that I could talk about things but here I am still strong still alive and I am thankful for that I have my 3 babies that are healthy and my hunny so I guess you could say life is good, It will be better when I get the fuck out of here but I am doing good considering the torment that took place I suppose so to you all hello again I can't wait to look around get orientated again and start rating some profile and pics soooo kisses all mel

You know the type the ones that pretend to be your friend until they think they can't get anything else from you then its fuck you up the ass!!!!!!!!!!!! or those that say oh yea she my friend but she is such a slut she fucks everyone,,,, oh yea know those types actually just got fucked by two suck bitches toooo funny though!!!!! I feel sorry so one of the Other friends cause the things said behind that girls back is just not right... and when I am out I will make it a priority to tell MH just what has been said about her, but until then good luck girl cause you in dangerous water lately, with the company you been keeping...... lets talk about females here for a minute and why I have mostly male friends....... first you don't have to worry about them fuckin your man unless you know they like that kinda thing but even then your man is straight at least you hope.... second you have to worry about girls spreading shit about you, man you could tell one fucking thing to one of your GIRL friends and hell by the next fucking day you done the entire football team in one shot then its the ones that are jealous as hell of you those try everything they can to make you feel horrible about yourself to make themselves feel better.,.... yes yes ladies don't deny you know you do this kind of shit the ones that are just not pretty in the least that you try and help with beauty tips or fashion tips but ugly is ugly no matter how much make-up or how sexy the out fit looks,if its ugly its just damn ugly!!!!!! now I will admit to not always telling the truth if I thought for a second it would really hurt a friend but if it wouldn't hurt to bad then yea i will tell them...... I hate these types of bitches, and unfortunately I have had my share of these lately, lying, untrustworthy, hateful, negative, female like people..... you need to be feminine to be a female right ...... and then those that judge one person after fucking a guy the first night she meets him while leading on his friend, sheesh get over it already stop being mean...... be honest, I know the attention feels good cause of all the lack there of in your life but damn give that poor boy a break and tell him the damn truth..... your shallow and he isn't skinny enough for you, unlike you he isn't anorexic!!!!!!! and trust me you are girl put on some weight bones showing isn't hot ok its sickness. and believe me its treatable ...... its called food........ but hey whatever, these girls can have each other they deserve each other really they aren't good enough for my type of friendship, I would die for my friends........ they ARE my family but never the less I do feel sorry for them both......... its gunna hurt....... and then those friends that have kids that you know get your kids and theres together they create a bond then you snatch them out of each others lives because your a fucking bitch!!!!!! whatever....... I will be more cautious then that from here on out ...... they don't need that shit in there lives no kid does but I don't think you have figured that one out considering the number of marriages you have had right!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you can't have my husband he's mine and I am sorry if it pissed you off, He is great, but HE IS MINE so fuck off....... I should have listened to my own intuition when it came to you and not let him sway me with his..... my inner sirens were sounding loud and clear they were just muffled by the trust of my husband......... never again though never again....... then those girls that take you out promise to take care of you!!!!!Cause you aren't a drinker!!!! but then leave you to be hurt!!!! if you will..... those that lie to your face and couldn't give a shit about you!!! the ones that underneath that exterior wish nothing but harm onto you for some un-godly reason...... Those that let people hurt you for the pleasure of knowing you were HURT...... but it all comes back remember that one.... it all comes back....... then there is the smile at you stab you as you turn your back kind ummmmmm love those really I do and so help me come 2 aug when I can freely open my mouth I WILL now guys they don't give a fuck about the shit you rant about.... half the time they don't even hear you but it makes you feel better to just get it off your chest..... they don't try and fuck your husband or be a better mom to your kids than you or out do you as a female, hell no!!!!! beer, game food, and your good non of this shopping shit or Brazilian bikini waxes WTF I believe in some pleasurable pain but damn that shit........I shave my snatch yes but pulling that shit out oh hell no I don't think so right anyway to all you females out there FUCKING BUCK THE FUCK UP MAN AND BE A TRUE FRIEND no more fake ass shit...!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blessed be PF

i am free on 1 aug to do whatever the fuck or who ever the fuck i want so all you sexy ass people here on tap hold on i am cummmmmmin just as sooooon as i can hahhahahah miss ya though muha mel

they have won i am getting the fuck out so oh well right i will try and come back once shit in my life calms the fuck down

recently I have been faced with a helluva battle at work, it has cause some serious issues for me mentally and emotionally, hence why I have not been on lately, but I am asking all you crazy cherry tappers to send me some luv, energy prayers whatever your personal choice is to call it my name is Melissa B and I am in South Dakota any energy sent would be greatly appreciated and I would make sure to send it back out to the universe when done with the need of it so heres to all those willing to help and those that aren't its ok too blessed be mel