Miss Vanima's blog: "notalwaysright"

Aaaa-men, Brotha Retail | Kansas City, MO, USA (When I was a teenager I worked in a skateboard shop in the mall. I was working with my buddy and we see a loud, filthy group of guys coming down the hall towards our store.) Loud, filthy customer #1: ”You guys sell hackie sacks, the kind with sand in ‘em?” Me: ”Yup, right there.” *pointing* Loud, filthy customer #2: “What’s the return policy?” Me: “Thirty days with a receipt.” Loud, filthy customer #2: ”So, if I shoot this hackie sack with mah sawed-off 12-gauge and run it over in mah truck, you’ll still take it back? HAW HAW!” Me: ”Heh, no. Thanks, guys.” (They leave. All the while, my coworker has been there, arms crossed, not moving an inch, with a cold, dead, angry stare.) Coworker: ”Cousins need to STOP f***ing.” (I’d never laughed so hard in my life.) ---------------------- BWAHAHAH

What Planet Is She From, Because I Want To Live There Coffee Shop | Davis, CA, USA Me: “Hi, how are you doing today?” Customer: “I’d like a large coffee.” Me: “That’ll be $1.95.” Customer: “Oh, I don’t want to pay for it.” Me: *shocked* “Ma’am, this is a store. We sell things for money in order to make a profit.” Customer: *stares blankly* Me: “The coffee isn’t free.” Customer: “Can I have the coffee anyway, since you already poured it?” Me: “No. ” Customer: *looks at me for a moment and then walks away* -------------------------------- NOTE:me is not really me.. its the worker at the coffee shop but christ almighty what the hell is wrong with that person

It Happens More Often Than You’d Think Computer Store | Vancouver, BC, Canada (I just started working at a computer store, so my trainer has a phone call on speaker so I can listen in.) Lady: “You sold me a faulty piece of s*** laptop!” Trainer: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?” Lady: “The f***ing thing won’t open!” Trainer: “Have you tried turning the laptop around, and opening it from the other side?” Lady: “Oh.” *click*

No Means No Means No Aquarium Store | Vancouver, BC, Canada Customer: “I just got a new fish tank, and I was wondering what kind of fish I could put in it.” Me: “Sure, no problem.” (I proceed to show her some good starter fish. I point out some tetras, when she says…) Customer: “I thought that you needed a bubbler for those kinds of fish.” Me: “Oh! You don’t have a filter or anything?” Customer: “No. Just a tank.” Me: “Okay, well the only type of fish that can live in a bowl like environment are bettas.” Customer: “But I don’t want these kinds of fish!” Me: “Well, if you want to get anything else, you will have to purchase a filter and everything for your tank.” Customer: *points to some guppies* “So I can’t get these?” Me: “No.” Customer: *points to some mollies* “What about these?” Me: “No. With the tank set up you have, you can only get bettas.” Customer: “What about the platties?” Me: “No.” Customer: “So I can’t get anything else?” Me: “No.” Customer: “So I can’t get the barbs?” Me: *facepalm* ----------------------- no.. no.. NOOOOOOOOO

Like, OMG, You’re Stupid College | Louisiana, USA (I’m a desk assistant at a college dorm. One day, these two giggly freshman girls come up to me.) Girl #1: “Ummm… can we, like, borrow your phonebook?” Me: “Sure thing.” Girl #1: *flips through the book, looking completely dumbfounded* Me: “Need help finding something?” Girl #2: *whispers* “Jason’s is under ‘J’.” Girl #1: *whispers back* “I know, but sometimes I forget the alphabet…” Girl #2: “OmiGAWD me too!” *giggle giggle* (I grab the phonebook and look up their listing.) Me: “Here–Jason’s.” Girl #1: “Oh my GAWD thank you! They should really have a college course for, like, phone books! I’m not from this town, so, ya know…” --------------------- seriously? and this one was in my state... i am sad now LOL

Murphy’s Law And Customers: Do Not Mix Railway Station | Newcastle, UK Customer: “Hey, I’m booked to get the train tomorrow at 0800 to Manchester. Can you tell me if the train will be on time?” Me: “Good morning. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to predict if it will be on time, but this one is fairly reliable.” Customer: “How come you can’t just tell me if it’s going to be on time? Me: “Well, there’s any number of things that could go wrong on the day that I couldn’t predict. For example flooding, the train breaking down, maybe even a sick dri–” Customer: “Oh my god! All those things are going to be wrong with the train?” Me: “No, I’m sure not all that will happen at once. Those are just examples.” Customer: “So it’s on time, then?” Me, giving up: “Yes, it’ll be on time.” Customer: “Great, why didn’t you just say that?” (Sure enough the next day the whole mainline was brought to a standstill by a lorry hitting a rail bridge.) Customer: “YOU SAID IT WOULD BE ON TIME! NOW I’M GOING TO BE ****ING LATE!” Me: “Sorry sir, but I doubt I would have been able to predict that! There will be a bus coming to take you to a different station where you can–” Customer: *rants abusively* Manager: “Look, would you just piss off? We are not omniscient! Next time you need to book a train, book it somewhere else!” Customer: *storms out* -------------- *NOTE* the Me is not Vanima... just putting that out there now

lmao this nurse posted this on a website about stupid people that employees deal with... this one is just funny ---------------------------------- AARP Membership Comes With A Few Hidden Perks Hospital | New Hampshire, USA (I was trying to put a dressing on the arm of a VERY confused but cute elderly man.) Me: “Just hold your arm out so I can wrap this around it.” Elderly patient: *reaches out his arm and grabs my right breast* Me: “Hey! You can’t do that!” Elderly patient: “But I like it…” Me: *laughs